Chapter 8 #2
Not yet. Not like this. He wanted—strike that, he needed—to explain himself. To make this right. But Addy ignored him, flouncing out of his bedroom and closing the door at her back.
Lion puffed out a weary sigh and ran a hand through his hair.
Somehow, he had taken the most incredible night of his life and tossed it away into the dustbin.
For a moment, he considered rushing after her, but he thought better of it.
By the time he was able to properly fasten his dressing gown, she would likely be tucked away in her own chamber.
He could scarcely break the door down and ask her to marry him.
No, he would wait until the morning and explain himself.
Everything would be right then.
Feeling weary and yet deeply content in a way he’d never known, Lion undressed and turned down the lamps before slipping into a bed that smelled of violets and orris root and the woman he intended to make his duchess.
Slumber claimed him with ease.
Ever since her mad dash from Lion’s room in the midst of the night, Addy hadn’t been able to sleep. The hour was pitifully early, but she was up anyway, dressed for travel and determined to pretend as if she hadn’t gone to his chamber, taken off all her clothes, and given him her virginity.
It was a feat that would be easier said than accomplished, she knew.
She could still feel Lion’s hands on her, his lips on her body, his mouth on her breasts, could still feel him moving inside her. She knew a few twinges of soreness between her legs as she made her way down the grand staircase.
Making love with him had been nothing short of life-altering for her. She would never be the same.
What had come after had been…well, mortifying. He had reverted to his proper self, growing cold and ducal. Telling her he regretted what had happened. The latter had been akin to a knife in her heart. The heart that he unwittingly owned.
It was best that she and Aunt Pearl were leaving today. They could make it to York and take the train to London, celebrating Christmas at a hotel. Addy would simply do her utmost to pretend as if the Duke of Marchingham didn’t exist.
Which would be nothing short of impossible.
She sighed as she reached the last step, not regretting that she had been reckless enough to go to Lion last night, but rather, wishing that their time together had ended differently.
As she made her way toward the breakfast room, a sudden flurry of activity caught her attention.
It sounded as if it were coming from the great hall—a chorus of voices, two of which were feminine and familiar.
Her breath hitched. Letty and Lila? Surely it couldn’t be. They were spending Christmas with their aunt and uncle. The roads had only just become passable after the snowstorm. And yet…
Her feet flew with a mind of their own, taking her to the great hall, where Lion’s deep baritone cut through the chorus of voices.
“Violetta and Lila,” he greeted warmly. “It is good to see you again, sisters.”
Addy stopped at the periphery of the great hall, where antlers and familial busts lingered in the shadows. Two young ladies stood with Lion, dressed in travel garments and grinning widely, one red-haired and the other possessing white-gold hair even lighter than Lion’s.
Letty and Lila were here at Marchingham Hall. Behind them, an older, distinguished-looking couple stood, also dressed for travel. Presumably, they were the aunt and uncle.
A thrill rose within her at the sight of her beloved friends.
She longed to rush to them, to embrace them, and yet, she was painfully aware of Lion’s presence.
His back was to her, and he had no notion of her presence.
She wasn’t certain she could bear to look at him by morning light without expiring from mortification.
What must he think of her?
Did he truly regret what had happened?
She had known there would be consequences. Addy took a deep breath, deciding that she must face them. Her boldness had always stood her in good stead. She wouldn’t allow it to fail her now.
“Letty,” she exclaimed warmly, bustling forward, a smile fixed on her lips as she avoided looking at Lion. “Lila!”
Her friends looked at her in unison, their surprise evident as their eyes lit up and their mouths fell open.
“Addy!” Letty was the first to react, grinning as she rushed toward her and folded Addy in an embrace. “You’re here at Marchingham Hall!”
Smiling, Addy returned her friend’s exuberant hug. “So are you.”
Lila was swift to join them, throwing her arms around them both. They rejoiced, talking over top of one another, their years of separation falling away. It was instantly like their finishing school days.
“What are you doing in Yorkshire?” Letty asked.
Her friend’s question made Addy painfully aware of Lion’s solemn regard.
Of all that had transpired since her arrival.
Heat crept up her throat and over her cheeks.
Surely her friends didn’t suspect that she had fallen in love with their brother.
Nor that she had spent a goodly portion of last night in his bed.
Her guilt wouldn’t be written across her face, would it?
“Addy?” Lila pressed, eagerly awaiting her response, no doubt.
She cleared her throat. “I thought to surprise the both of you. Since you weren’t able to join me for Christmas, I decided to come to you here in Yorkshire. Unfortunately, neither of you was in residence.”
“When did you arrive?” Lila asked.
“Eleven days ago.”
“Eleven days?”
“During a snowstorm,” she elaborated.
“You’ve been stranded here at Marchingham Hall all this time?” Letty shook her head. “You poor darling. You must have been terribly bored with nothing except our brother and his disapproving glares for company.”
He didn’t always give her disapproving glares.
No indeed, sometimes he looked at her with the blazing intensity of the sun, and she could do nothing but bask in it even if she knew there was a strong chance she would be relentlessly burned.
She was Icarus, flying too close to the sun.
Only, the sea she had drowned in had been Lion himself.
“I had Aunt Pearl,” she said weakly, studiously avoiding Lion’s gaze.
“Your aunt Pearl has accompanied you? Oh, we must meet her!” Letty exclaimed, clapping excitedly. “We’ve heard so very much about her from your letters.”
“And you must meet our aunt and uncle, Lord and Lady Hargrove,” Lila added.
“How utterly thrilling this is. We thought to surprise Lion for Christmas, but the roads were covered in snow and we had to wait a few days in York. I had feared we would be stranded in a hotel until the roads finally became passable. But we had no notion you were here as well.”
What could she say to that? Her smile felt as if it had been pinned in place by an enterprising seamstress, and the heat in her cheeks continued to prickle. It didn’t help that Lion still watched her, silent and unsmiling.
What was he thinking? Were his regrets even stronger this morning than they had been last night?
A maelstrom of emotions had whipped up within her.
She had been ready to flee before descending the staircase.
But now her friends were here, at last. They were smiling and overjoyed to see her, and she felt the same way.
There remained, however, the cloud of what had happened between herself and their brother hanging overhead.
Letty and Lila must never know, she decided in that moment.
“I am so happy to see you both,” she said. “Aunt Pearl and I are set to leave this morning. Had you been any later in your arrival, I would have missed you.”
“Surely you will alter your plans now,” Lila said.
“Of course she will.” Letty turned to Lion. “Addy must stay now that we’ve arrived, don’t you agree, brother?”
Addy dared to glance in his direction now. His icy-blue gaze clashed with hers, sending a jolt of awareness through her. How she wished she could read what lay within those blue depths.
He inclined his head, his countenance remaining as forbidding as ever. “Naturally, Miss Fox is welcome at Marchingham Hall. She may stay for as long as she likes.”
Forever, some raw, ridiculous voice cried out inside her. A voice Addy promptly stifled. Lion may have given in to their mutual attraction, but the aftermath of their lovemaking last night had made it abundantly clear to her that his poor opinion of her had not changed.
She swallowed hard, ignoring her stinging pride and aching heart. “That is most generous of you, Your Grace.”
“It’s settled!” Letty announced. “You’ll stay for Christmas.”
“But—” Addy began to protest.
“Nonsense,” Lila interrupted. “We’ve only just been reunited. Les Trois Mousquetaires must have the proper time to chat after all these years apart. Letters are woefully insufficient, do you not find?”
“I—” Addy started, only to be cut short yet again, this time by Letty.
“Of course she does, and that is why she is here. Come, let us introduce you to our aunt and uncle.”
Addy was scarcely aware of the introductions that were performed.
Lord Hargrove was a stern-faced, elegant gentleman with silver hair and a neatly trimmed mustache.
Lady Hargrove bore an obvious resemblance to Lila, Letty, and Lion, her golden hair shot through with threads of gray and white, her eyes the same icy blue.
Her astute gaze traveled between Addy and Lion as conversation whirled about, her expression ever so slightly calculating.
Aunt Pearl arrived and a second round of introductions unfolded, and as portmanteaus were brought in by footmen, it was decided that everyone would convene for breakfast. Addy and Aunt Pearl’s departure was temporarily delayed.
As Addy was led off by her eagerly chattering friends, she told herself that she could withstand a few more days at Marchingham Hall.
She would simply keep her distance from Lion, enjoy spending time with Letty and Lila, and forget last night had ever happened.
Impossible, whispered that same, taunting voice within her.
It was a voice Addy was determined to ignore.