The Embrace of Evergreen (Unexpected Love #2)

Ken

Hey bud,

I haven't heard from you in a few months. Usually, you send something in return after each of my letters, but the last two have gone unanswered. I'm not going to push you to give me your number or anything because I promised you a long time ago that I wouldn't, but as your dad, I still worry. I’m hoping my letters just got lost or something. I know you move around a lot, and I’ve always found mail to be half reliable at best.

A lot has happened here over the past few months. Not long after Namid and Jayce got home from their trip to Seattle, Namid was assaulted. He’s okay, but the assholes broke his arm, a few ribs, and scuffed him up real bad. They were caught just a few blocks from where it happened, and they’ve been denied bail so there’s no way to accidentally run into them in town or anything. Even though he’s physically okay, it’s taken a toll on both Namid and Jayce. In truth, it’s taken a toll on me too. I’ve always known that this place is a bit behind the times in a lot of ways, but I really thought that when it came right down to it, the people were mostly good at heart. I’m sure most of them probably are, and this was just a “one bad apple” scenario, but it’s still hard to feel the same way about folks after something like that. All three of us find ourselves regularly second-guessing our interactions with everyone else and wondering if they actually accept our strange little family or if they’re just tolerating us because they don’t have a choice. Namid would be able to tell, of course, but he’s been sticking close to home for the most part, and that’s not a healthy way for him to live. It’s not a healthy way for any of us to live.

Namid and Jayce have decided to move to Seattle, and I'm going to move with them. It feels a little crazy after spending my whole life in the same place, but without you or Namid here, there’s really no reason for me to stick around. I know this was your childhood home, but I hope you’ll understand why I’m making this choice.

I know our relationship has been distant for a long time now, and I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m pushing you further away by leaving our family home. But in truth, son, I've been stuck for a long time. Ever since your mom died, really. I’ve been holding on to the past so tightly that I forget about the future. Hell, half the time, I forget about the present.

I wonder sometimes if things would have turned out differently between you and I if I'd offered to leave with you all those years ago. I understand why you needed to leave, but I can't honestly say I regret staying. If I’d have left, there’s a good chance that no one would have found Namid that night, and I can’t stomach the idea of him dying alone in the cold.

I often worry that you might feel like I've replaced you, but I haven't. I've simply gained a second son. Well, a third now with Jayce. I know I’ve said that before, and I don’t know if you believe me, but with so many changes already this past year and even more coming up, it feels important to say it again.

I think this move will be a good thing for me. I think it’s time for me to remember what it's like to actually live again. Maybe in Seattle, I’ll be able to build a life that doesn’t feel so tainted by loss.

I hope you get this letter.

I hope to hear from you soon.

I hope that maybe one day you'll visit, and I’ll get to hug you again.

I hope you know that I've never stopped loving you and that you'll always have a home with me if you want it, no matter where I am.

Love always,

Dad