Chapter 8 - EthanBlue
Chapter 8
Ethan
“I know you’re usually busy on weekends with whatever super-secret spy-level plans you’ve never chosen to share with me. Which is fine of course - you do you - but is there any chance you’d be willing to change them next weekend?” Blue asks as he leans back in his chair, his eyes closing in enjoyment momentarily as he sips his espresso.
He asks casually as if he’s asking how I like the unusually warm fall weather. As if the way he’s treating me like an old friend isn’t startling or frightening. He asks as if it’s a perfectly normal question. He asks as if he assumes I know how to process his inquiry and answer like someone who has the type of friendships that lead to weekend plans with others.
He’s been kind to me over the past couple of months. Gabriel has been too. I suppose if I take the time to think about the way they’ve treated me without letting myself spiral into a panicked tornado of self-doubt and insecurity, they’ve treated me like their friend since we first met. Or at least like they wouldn’t object to my continued presence in their lives. I’ve taken to spending my mornings working in the coffee shop before shifting over to the gallery after lunch, and Blue has stopped by a handful of times each week since the day we met up so that he could give me my vase. Every time he’s seen me, he’s settled in across from me to chat for at least a few minutes. They’ve even semi-forced me to tag along on their Friday Night Friend Dates a couple more times over the past few weeks, which has been terrifying, but not in an altogether bad way. Even though I haven’t exactly had a lot of experience with friendships in my life, I can do this. I can stay calm and answer like a normal human instead of a skittish zoo animal trying not to scare off the person who's offering it food.
“Probably.”
Good answer. Simple. Vague. Normal. Well done, me.
His smile widens, and his stormy eyes seem to glisten in the fiery rays of afternoon light that have started to peek through the clouds. They’re mesmerizing. How have I never noticed the way the small, almost golden flecks seem to dance across the field of blue so pale it’s almost grey? How have I never noticed that those flecks sparkle like the glint of sunlight bouncing off cresting waves in the middle of the sea ?
“Do you want to come out with me to the wooden boat festival?”
He seems to think those are words I’ll understand.
“The what now?”
He laughs in response to my apparent confusion, but his laughter is kind and open and honest and not at all the laugh of someone who thinks less of me because I don’t understand the question. As we’ve spent time together, I’ve come to realize that’s just who he is. He goes through life just sort of doing what he wants without worrying what others might think and enjoying himself along the way. Watching the way he lives will never get old.
“It’s this annual festival in this quaint little seaport town out on the peninsula. It’s sort of a big deal locally. Hundreds of people bring these wooden boats they’ve restored. I mean, really, some of them are huge and crazy impressive, and everyone just sort of wanders the docks, and ooo’s and ahh’s at them. Which sounds sort of lame when I say it that way, I guess, but there are food trucks and live music and little art stalls set up along the main street, and Gabriel is performing Friday and Saturday night for the third year in a row, which is sort of a big deal for him.”
“So, you go to support Gabriel?” The whole thing does sound interesting, if not a bit…eclectic .
He laughs again. “I mean, yes, but it really is a lot of fun, even though it sounds a bit…eclectic.”
Wait, did I say that out loud? I really don’t think I did.
His smile wavers a bit at my hesitation. Of course it does. He has no way of knowing that I’m silently panicking as I try to reassure myself he wasn’t just able to hear my thoughts when he coincidentally used the same word that had been on the tip of my tongue. A word that probably makes a lot of sense in this context, considering we both chose to use it.
“It’s fun, I swear. Consider coming to a weird little festival a local rite of passage,” he continues, clearly thinking that my hesitation means I’m not sure it’s something I’d be interested in attending.
“There are a lot of things like this around here then?”
His chuckle is deep and warm even though his smile is still a bit subdued because I haven’t answered yet. Good. Real smooth. That’s how to keep a friendship for sure, by making someone think you need convincing before you agree to spend time with them.
“Oh yeah. Tons of them. There is a lavender festival every July. There is the garlic festival, which lasts for a full week, and a giant Viking festival in May. There are actually a few different lumberjack festivals throughout the year, but we don’t go to those anymore.” He cringes and shudders.
“Why not?”
“The last one we attended took place right after Gabriel first struck up an interest in fire dancing. It was before he had a whole lot of training, and even though he wasn’t performing, he picked up this random pine branch that was sitting on the ground near one of the chainsaw carver’s stalls and thought it would make an excellent torch to toss around a bit as we walked through the small pop-up market. He ended up lighting this huge lumberjack’s long hair on fire and almost burning down the guy’s tent.”
It takes a moment for me to remind my vocal cords how to work. I’ve officially been stunned into silence. Even though the entire scene is completely believable, and I can vividly see Gabriel making that particular series of poor choices, the casual way Blue tells the story, not as if it’s something hilarious or extraordinary, but simply a logical reason as to why they can’t attend any more lumberjack festivals, is something I don’t really know how to process. Whose life is so exciting that a story like that is just a run-of-the-mill occurrence?
When I finally open my mouth, a laugh loud enough to startle the couple sitting at the table closest to us is what falls out .
Blue’s smile returns to full strength as his laughter melds with mine in the warm fall breeze, the vibrations curling joyfully around me.
“I know,” he snorts out. “God, I don’t know why I put up with him.”
“You love him.”
I don’t know why I say it. I’ve only known them for a couple of months, but it’s clear how much they mean to one another. I’ve never had someone like that in my life, not really. Not since Jordyn, and the older I get, the more I wonder if our relationship wasn’t a bit one-sided. I know that he loved me, even if he didn’t love me enough to pursue a romantic relationship with me, but I’m willing to bet there is nothing in the world Blue and Gabriel wouldn’t do for one another. If one asked the other to hide a body, they probably wouldn’t even question why they’d felt the need to commit a murder in the first place. If I’m honest with myself, their relationship makes me a bit jealous.
His face grows soft and thoughtful. “I do. He’s like the brother I never had, and he’s saved me in more ways than one. I’m thankful for him. Even when he gets me banned from festivals.”
I want to reach over and trace my fingertip along the back of his hand. Over the cracked knuckles and thick veins that always stand out thanks to the hours he spends lifting and twisting heavy metal pipes attached to chunks of glass next to raging open flames. Somehow, his hands always look like they don’t quite belong next to the smooth, light-tan skin and harsh black lines of his forearms. I don’t know why I want to touch them. I don’t typically like when people touch me, and I don’t ever want to touch others. Blue just looks so kind. So caring. His expression is gentle as he speaks about love and friendship, and some part of me secretly hopes that one day, he might be able to think about me like that. That he might consider me that kind of friend.
“I’d love to go with you.”
Blue looks startled for a moment, and I realize that wasn’t exactly a smooth conversational transition on my part.
“To the festival. Next weekend…”
The small wrinkles beside his eyes reappear as he grins. “Yeah? That’s awesome! You’ll love it, trust me. I’ll make sure of it.”
He winks at me, and heat rushes to my cheeks and something fluttery settles in my chest. I don’t really understand the way he makes me feel, but I’m in no hurry for it to end.