Chapter 9 - EthanBlueEthan
Chapter 9
Ethan
“Do you want to go wander a bit and find something to eat? We have a few hours before Gabriel’s first performance today at five, and then he and his performance partner, Charlize, are planning to have dinner with us after.”
It’s not the first time since we’ve met that Blue seems to have read my mind. In fact, his uncanny ability to anticipate my needs is becoming a regular occurrence. From the glimpses I got as we drove through town to our hotel, this place seems amazing. While I typically prefer my life to be a bit on the calmer side, and the streets and shops are guaranteed to be packed during this festival weekend, I’m itching to go wander around like a wide-eyed tourist.
“That sounds perfect. ”
I know I’m grinning like an idiot, but I don’t really care. If I’m honest with myself, I haven’t had this much fun in longer than I can remember. I don’t think I’ve gone to a festival in my life, and as pathetic as it is, the last time I had the opportunity to do this many things with a friend was with Jordyn. Of course, that was before we fell in love, he rejected me, and I ran away to spend my life alone, searching for…something.
“Anything in particular you want to see or do?” Blue asks as we make our way back down to the car.
“Nope. Well. Lunch, but I’m always interested in lunch. And I have to admit that I am curious about these wooden boats that are apparently so intriguing that thousands of people need to come see them.”
He chuckles. “The boats honestly are pretty badass, but like I said, these little towns just sort of have a vibe to them when festivals like this take place, so it’s more about visiting the shops and art booths and watching the eclectic entertainment and eating all the foods.”
“I am all about any event whose main focus is eating all the foods.”
Blue bumps me with his shoulder and grins as we reach the side of the car. I like the way he’s always touching me. I haven’t had that since Jordyn either - someone who touches me simply because they want to. Someone whose touch I actually enjoy .
The town is so packed with tourists that it takes us half an hour to find a parking spot and make our way down to the heart of the old city, so we head straight for one of the waterfront pubs, knowing that there will likely be a long wait to get seated. Even though everything is crowded, the cool weather has limited most people to the restaurant’s interior tables, and I’m grateful when we’re told it’s only a fifteen-minute wait for a deck table. I’m hungry enough that I don’t really care it will be a bit on the cool side.
The outdoor dining deck is on an old dock that extends out over the water by at least thirty feet, and once I’m settled into my chair, I can feel the waves splashing against the huge pilings that are holding up not only the deck but at least a quarter of the pub’s foundation as well. The air is thick with the scent of the old, tar-oiled wood and kelp and salt mixed with alcohol and fried food. I close my eyes and breathe it deep into my lungs. It’s perfect.
When I open them, Blue is watching me. His face is soft, the corners of his lips turned up in a slight smile as his teeth play with the ring in the corner of his bottom lip. He really is gorgeous, all sharp angles and smooth skin and pale blue-grey eyes that seem to somehow mirror the exact color of the water whose waves gently lap the rocky shores under the deck. It’s one of the drizzliest days I’ve experienced during my short time in Seattle. While there’s been no actual rain to speak of, the humidity that’s usually present has morphed into a fine mist, and Blue’s hair is wavier than I’ve previously seen it as a result. It’s wild and unfettered, just like him. I’m not sure how he’s not in a relationship, but I’m grateful for it because it means that he spends his time with friends. It means that he spends his time with me.
I’ve spent my whole life alone, even when I haven’t wanted to be. I’ve tried so hard not to let it bother me when my attempts to connect with other people have failed. I’ve forced myself to go on date after date, forced myself to have sex even though I haven’t ever felt a real connection with anyone I’ve ended up in bed with. It’s gone terribly. Every. Single. Time. Since I left home, there hasn’t been one instance when I’ve found myself examining the color of someone’s eyes or felt comfortable enough to ride in a car with them in near silence for more than an hour without rambling to fill the awkward silence. With Blue it’s different. He’s never pressed me to talk about my past. He’s never made me feel pathetic and sad and lonely. Not even when we’ve gone out with his friends and it’s been glaringly obvious that I’ve never gone to a drag club or karaoke before. I feel comfortable around him. I feel…good.
When a harried server shows up and announces that the kitchen is backed up, so anything we order will take a while, we order beers and lunch anyway. We have nowhere else to be for a bit, and every place in town is sure to be just as crowded. It’s a decision that I’m second-guessing by the time we finish our first round of drinks, as it’s become all too clear why there wasn’t much of a wait to get a table on the deck. It is fucking cold. Blue doesn’t seem to be affected by it, somehow, so I’m trying to force myself to appear impervious as well, but my palms are pressed together tightly where I’ve stuffed my hands between my thighs, and I know that my shoulders are hunching over no matter how much I try to convince them to stay upright so that I can sit like a regular human.
Blue downs the last of his beer in a gulp as he stands unexpectedly. “Get me another, will you? I’ll be back in just a minute.”
“Ya, of course. Same thing?”
He just nods and pats my shoulder as he heads into the pub, probably to find a bathroom.
Left alone and without an audience, I give up all pretenses and curl in around myself a bit more in a futile attempt to stay warm. I order a shot of whiskey with our next round of beers and down it quickly, hoping that it might warm me up for a moment or two. Blue still hasn’t returned by the time our second beers arrive, and I glance at my watch. Somehow, it seems so much colder without him sitting across from me. That doesn’t make any sense, of course; it’s definitely just the wind that’s shifted that makes it feel colder. Simply having someone sitting across the table doesn’t affect how warm or cold a person feels. When I check my watch again, seven minutes have passed. Blue wouldn’t just have left me here, right? He’s not the kind of guy who would befriend someone for months, invite them on a weekend vacation, offer to share a room - to share a bed - and then take them to lunch and abandon them as a joke? No. Definitely not. Maybe he’s not okay and I should go check on him. He’d already been gone long enough for me to order drinks and for them to arrive when I checked my watch the first time, and now it’s been seven more. When ten minutes have passed since I first checked the time, I’ll go see if I can find him.
With one minute to spare, Blue barrels out onto the deck carrying a gift bag and looking a bit worse for wear.
“Fuck, I am so sorry. That was insanity.”
He steps close and rests his hand briefly on my shoulder. The wind must have shifted again just as he arrived because even though I’m not convinced my balls will still be outside my body by the time we get back to the hotel tonight, it’s suddenly just a bit warmer.
He sets the bag on the edge of the table and pulls out a brightly colored…something. “There are a few stores in town that sell things like jackets and hoodies and shit, but it is a complete madhouse out there. The mystic store place that sells like crystals and tarot cards was only two doors down, so I didn’t have to brave the sidewalk chaos for long to get there.”
He shakes out the brightly colored thing. It’s a lightweight tie-dyed throw blanket or wall tapestry of some sort in vibrant teals and violets with streaks of deep forest green and snowy white .
“Scoot forward.”
He barely waits for me to move before he wraps one end of the blanket around my shoulders and tucks it down between my back and the chair. His hips smash into the table as he steps forward to maneuver the other chair close enough that it touches mine before settling himself into it and wrapping the other end of the blanket around his opposite shoulder.
“This was the best I could find, but it’ll work, huh?”
He’s grinning at me like he’s just brought me an Olympic gold medal. Maybe he has. I don’t think anyone in my entire adult life has ever seen that I needed something and then gone out of their way to get it for me. No one has been there to take care of me when I’m sick or depressed or scared. Since I left home, I’ve been completely on my own.
“It’s perfect. Thank you.” Even though I fight to hold myself together in the face of his brilliant smile and kind gesture and the warmth of the blanket that’s now wrapped around my shoulders, I’m filled with so much gratitude and astonishment and emotion that I barely recognize my own voice. If Blue notices, he doesn’t comment.
When our food finally arrives, Blue cuts his burger in half without a word, places half of it on my plate, and steals two of my four fried fish fillets. That’s perfect too. We lean in toward one another as we eat, and the world disappears. There is only the sound of his laugh and the heat of his knee and calf pressed up against mine as we pick at fries and drink our second and third rounds of beer inside our tie-dyed blanket fort. The gorgeous view of the water no longer matters, nor do the meticulously restored wooden boats that sail past or the sound of the waves and the gulls and the conversations around us. There is only Blue. I’ve never felt like this with anyone. Not on a date, not in bed. Not since Jordyn. And surely the warmth that’s rushing through my veins and pooling in my belly is just the result of more alcohol than I normally indulge in.