Chapter 5
5
At sunrise breakfast was served on the terrace. I didn’t see Qian and his men, and I assumed they’d decided to sleep in.
The cooks had gone all out making a lavish meal, stacking the table with fried eggs, tapas, mountains of garlic rice, pineapple-cured pork, sun-dried herring, and dessert tofu in a brown sugar syrup. I told one of the butlers to thank the kitchen and to let them know that they’d be compensated for their efforts tenfold. It was an impressive feast.
I was the first to arrive and practically collapsed into my chair. I hadn’t slept after Lucas left. My eyes were still crusty and sore from lying in bed, staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night. This morning, while Jinky combed out my hair and dressed me in a casual patadyong, she had practically held me upright the whole time. I rested my elbows on the table, pressed my hands against my warm cheeks, and closed my eyes.
The morning was bright, and a slight breeze cut across the terrace, rustling the turquoise jade vines overhead and scenting the air with brine and cherry blossoms. The dappled light angled across my eyelids, and birdsong floated out from the trees. It should have been a perfect day, but rain was on the horizon. I could feel it. I could smell it. The air was dense, like a hair tie pulled taut, ready to snap. Not only could I smell rain but I could smell the goats and the pigs; I could hear the bees flying in the garden below, even taste the sea salt in the air. It was like my senses had been dialed way up.
There was something else, too, a steady thump-thump-thump resonating in my ears. It almost sounded like…a heartbeat. And it wasn’t mine.
I was so hyperfocused on my heightened senses, I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone burst onto the terrace. I sat up and looked around blearily.
It was only Nix, though. Her dark hair hung loosely across her shoulders, and while she usually dressed casually despite her interest in fashion, today it looked like she had just rolled out of bed, too. I wouldn’t put it past her to not have gotten a wink of sleep, either. She dropped into a chair next to me, tipped her head back into the sunlight, and let out a deep, beleaguered sigh.
Yeah, that about summarized it.
I chalked up my sensory overload to stress and rubbed my face, waking myself some more, then set a bowl of rice in front of Nix. A peace offering.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked, keeping my voice low.
Nix leaned over the table, resting her elbow and cradling her forehead in her hand. She stared at the rice bowl but didn’t touch it, her gaze distant. “I didn’t think they’d go that far.”
“You don’t sound too surprised. This is a common occurrence, then, for Jade Mountain?”
“I didn’t think I was important enough for them to care.”
“Clearly your family was worried about you.”
Nix sighed again. She picked up a large spoon and stabbed it into the rice. “I ran away for a reason.” She frowned at her food, a million things rushing behind her dark eyes that had suddenly lost their sparkle. “Growing up there, I was barely my own person. I couldn’t choose my own clothes, what to eat, who to be. I’m one of fifty children… fifty . I didn’t think they’d find me, to be honest, or even bother to look. I was just another face in the palace.”
“And yet they sent Qian and an elite team of special forces to get you.” I leaned toward her and said, “I meant what I said last night. I won’t make you do something you don’t want to do.”
Nix finally looked up at me, and her gaze softened. “I know. Thank you. But it might be no use. Qian is the crown prince for a reason. Our people look to him for guidance, for inspiration. With him in charge, nothing can go wrong. He’s exceptional at what he does, determined and cunning.”
“What does he do? Besides being a prince?”
“He’s a hunter.”
“Oh? Of what?”
“Monsters, offspring of the Four Perils.”
My eyes widened. “What’s that?”
“They’re four monsters that plague the world, causing death and destruction wherever they go. Our father, the emperor, will get reports from some nearby villages that are being tormented by a giant winged tiger that’s eating people or terrorized by a sheep with a human face consuming an entire region’s food supply, and Qian will be the one to find it and kill it. He’s a hero. The entirety of Jade Mountain loves him. He’s everyone’s favorite, and I mean everyone —including me. He was my hero, too…”
The skin on my arms tightened. Her description brought to mind images of someone with singular focus, finding a target and pursuing it until it was dead. Tenacious to the end. No wonder he was popular. People expected the world from him, and he didn’t let them down. Qian was a beacon for their kingdom, so of course he would be sent after the captured princess. But I couldn’t picture Qian to be the hunting type. He had the casual swagger of someone who was in charge and knew it, but for some reason, I always pictured hunters to be flaunting it more. Human television taught me hunters were old guys with safari hats and pants tucked into their boots. Qian had changed my mind on that. Suddenly, Nix mentioning earlier that she wasn’t some trophy to be brought back to their father made sense.
My heart ached. If I sometimes felt like the palace was suffocating, I bet Nix was feeling ten times worse if she ran away because of it.
“Well,” I said, “you’re not some trophy. I’m not letting him take you so easily. You’re safe here.”
Just then, Elias appeared and looked around the empty table. “Did Prince Qian not join you for breakfast?”
“Um, no,” I said. “He didn’t.”
“It’s a bad sign that he’s not here.” Elias gripped the back of an empty chair and sighed. He looked so tired. “Not a second should be wasted not talking. You must meet with them,” he said to me. “Get them to sit down with you, negotiate.”
“Negotiate makes it sound like we’re kidnappers,” I said. “Like we’ve done something wrong.”
“In their eyes, you have. You’re keeping their princess against their will.”
Nix dropped her spoon and rounded on him. “But what about my will?” she asked.
“You are still a member of their house. They are responsible for your well-being, and if they see fit to bring you home…who are we to stop them?”
I knew, logically, that it made sense, but it still felt wrong somehow, like they were treating Nix as if she were property to be hauled away, to be carted around, to sit still and do as she was told. “Come on, Elias. You can’t be on their side.”
Elias took the other seat next to me and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Seeing him this close, I was struck by how much older he seemed. Gray flecked his short-trimmed dark beard, and the lines around his mahogany eyes were deeper, more pronounced, but his gaze was the same as always, soft and warm. “Queen Mahalina,” he started, and I shot him a look.
“Please don’t get all formal on me.”
“I am not talking to my goddaughter; I’m talking to my queen. Jade Mountain is a neighboring kingdom, and despite what you might want to think, this isn’t a minor squabble. Wars have been started over a lot less. The last time tensions rose between Biringan and Jade Mountain, your great-grandmother worked tirelessly to broker peace.”
I wanted to snap back at him, say I wasn’t a child, but by some miracle, I held my tongue. He was helping me. I didn’t know why I wanted to fight.
“Forgive me, Elias,” I said. “I don’t have decades of experience with this kind of thing. How did she do it then?”
“She proved to Jade Mountain that she was an ally. She hosted them for diplomatic meetings at the royal jungle retreat in Mount Makiling, and together they signed the accords that still remain to this day, but peace takes work, and now Jade Mountain feels betrayed. One slip-up can shatter their trust, and this incident with Nix is placing peace on the edge of a knife. You must be careful. If you let Prince Qian dictate the rules, you are playing his game. You must set boundaries and offer to come to an agreement; otherwise you will not get what you want.”
Encantos lived a long time. Grudges lived even longer. Like I’d been punched in the gut, I realized I’d been ignorant of how the balance between war and peace was so fragile. I still had a lot to learn about being queen.
I took in a deep breath and looked at Elias. He was my adviser, but he was also my godfather and my dad’s best friend. He was the closest thing I had to a father now, and he was only trying to make sure that I was doing the right thing. I didn’t hold it against him in the slightest. I knew I had an obligation to try, but at the same time, I wondered if I was capable of handling such a situation. Elias was right. I needed to at least do something. For Nix’s sake.
I glanced at my friend, who was still picking away at her food. She hadn’t eaten anything, her thoughts no doubt a million miles away. Was this how Helen of Troy had felt?
“I’m not what Qian thinks I am,” I said to Elias. “I’m not an enemy. I’ll talk to him.”
We convened for another meeting in the grand hall later that afternoon.
Nix and I were the last to arrive. Everyone was already seated around the large round table, and my stomach fluttered with nerves. I couldn’t fail Nix here. I tried to keep my head high, my hands placed delicately at my waist, but there was so much on the line.
Immediately, my eyes snared on Qian, who was deep in conversation with General Heng. Today Qian was dressed in the same clothes from last night. I couldn’t help but notice the taut muscles of his forearms as they rested on the table. Even though he was still speaking with Heng, his dark gaze caught mine, and a small smile spread across his lips. Heat rushed to my face. He was remarkably handsome, all things considered. I tried to tell myself to get it under control. This is about Nix, I reminded myself.
When Qian finished his conversation, Heng nodded, and Qian stood up to greet us. “I was wondering if Her Royal Highness would arrive or if we were going to have to negotiate with one of the lesser houses.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about until I saw her. Amador was sitting on the opposite side of the room, with Lucas standing behind her. His eyes met mine briefly before he looked away, his fingers fidgeting with the hilt of the dagger at his side. The skin of my hips burned with the ghost of his touch from last night, and my ears burned to match it.
Amador smiled, cupping her chin with her hand, making her engagement ring sparkle. “In typical royal custom, our queen prefers to arrive fashionably late.” She eyed my more formal baro’t saya—a long-skirt-and-blouse combo with a kerchief around my shoulders that Jinky was adamant about me wearing. I didn’t put up a fight like the last time I came to the grand hall and made a fool of myself in front of the court. Today I wanted to put my best foot forward if that meant that I could get Qian to let Nix stay. I didn’t think I looked half bad, but in Amador’s eyes, I was always found wanting.
Qian, for what it was worth, seemed more impressed with my outfit. His gaze lingered on me, and his smile widened.
“Thank you for meeting with us,” I said. Immediately after, though, I wondered if I should have thanked him at all. Did that inadvertently give him the upper hand, implying that he was the one who had to take time out of his day to speak with me? Elias wasn’t here to help me maneuver the land mines of royal politics, and I forced the embarrassment heating up my neck to settle back down.
“Of course, Your Highness.” Qian watched while Nix and I circled the table, and I did everything I possibly could not to glance at Lucas when I took my seat. I swore the taste of him had stayed on my lips from last night.
“What are you doing here, by the way?” I asked Amador. “You have a habit of wandering my palace whenever you feel like it.”
Amador’s lips twisted into an amused, self-righteous smirk. “Seeing as my father is the ambassador for foreign relations, it’s my duty in his absence to fulfill his role to ensure that relations with our neighbors to the north are upheld to the highest standard. I, the grand duchess of the Sigbin Court, offer anything I can to assist with these negotiations.”
That word— negotiations —set me on edge. It felt like I was starting on my heels, taken off guard, and having to defend myself from something I hadn’t even done.
Nix rounded on her brother. “Qian, seriously. Do we really have to go through all this?”
“Of course, little sister,” Qian said. “Unless you’re married, you’re to be in Jade Mountain with your other siblings. No excuses. It’s against our ways to have you living outside of our protective walls.”
“What happened last night seems like it was a bit rash, don’t you think?” I asked him.
Qian’s eyes slid to me. “What if one of our enemies had found my sister first? Without the protection of Jade Mountain, she was vulnerable, alone, and no one would have known what had happened.” He turned back to Nix. “Do you really expect Biringan to protect you? I wouldn’t put it past them to protect themselves first.”
“Hold on,” I said, extending my hands. I remembered Elias’s words, that we had to meet them where they were at, and tempered my nerves. “Nix isn’t in danger right now, so we don’t have to go that far. Instead, let’s focus on what’s in front of us. She’s been living with us safely for the past year—without your knowledge, yes, but she is an independent person with her own desires. You want her to return to Jade Mountain, and I want her to do whatever she wishes.”
“Are you saying that the queen of Biringan has more authority than the Jade Emperor?” Qian didn’t say it with any accusation. Instead, he almost said it with mild amusement, as if he wanted to know what I truly thought.
I had to be careful about what I said. I could almost hear Elias reminding me to breathe. I took a moment to gather my thoughts and replied, “When anyone is within our borders, they are a guest of mine. It would be against every instinct to send a friend away. That same courtesy extends to you, Prince Qian.”
Qian’s eyebrows shot up, and he seemed somewhat appeased by that.
Amador, unprompted, added, “I am inclined to agree with the queen.” I stared at her, bewildered, but she didn’t look at me. “If the Jade Emperor himself walked through these doors, he would be welcomed like family.”
That took me by surprise. I hadn’t expected her to agree to anything I had to say. I’d always thought she wanted to contradict me for the fun of it, just to see it get under my skin, and my shock must have been all over my face, because when Qian looked back at me, he laughed.
“While it’s sweet that you are so accommodating, Jade Mountain’s enemies might feel welcome, too. What would prevent anyone from doing what we did last night and taking Nix?”
“Nothing,” I admitted.
I think my honesty caught Qian off guard, because he leaned back, gently curled his hand into a fist, and tapped it on the arm of his chair. I wasn’t sure if he’d ever met a royal who told him the truth outright.
Nix broke the silence, which made all eyes turn to her. “Why are you so worried about our enemies anyway, Qian?” Nix asked.
Qian took a deep breath, and I saw a flash of pink behind his lips when he licked them thoughtfully. It was a surprisingly endearing tic. But his expression darkened ever so slightly. “It’s not just our enemies. Monsters have broken through our borders. Attacks committed by the offspring of the Four Perils have increased tenfold. You of all people, Nix, should know just how dangerous they can be.”
Nix went pale, and her breath came out shakily.
Qian’s voice was thick with emotion. “I thought you were…” He swallowed thickly. “I’d feared the worst, and then to find out you were here…” He gestured around the room. “Do you hate us that much to make us believe you were dead?”
Nix folded her lips between her teeth to stop herself from speaking. Turmoil, guilt, brewed in her eyes, but she clamped her hands into fists and looked at me as if asking for help.
When my father died, I wished I had been there for him. I’d never had the chance to get to know him because he’d sent me away to live with my mom in the human world for my own safety. But he was murdered. There was no goodbye, no last chance for either of us to say what we wanted. So not being there for him, especially in his last days, was a regret I carried with me. I never had my whole family together.
Nix tore her gaze away from me to look at her brother. “If I go, though, I’ll never get to come back.”
“Returning to Jade Mountain would mean returning to your family.” Qian sighed. “You need to be serious. You’re also coming to an age when it’s time you started considering proposals. As one of the emperor’s daughters, your role is vital to the kingdom, and it was bestowed upon you the moment you came into the world. You can’t run from destiny.”
Across the table, Amador shifted in her chair slightly, agitated, and her eyes darted up to Lucas, who remained stone-faced and at ease standing behind her. I wasn’t sure why she looked so surprised, but I chose to ignore it. They, maybe more than anyone, knew what it meant to be betrothed, but at least they would have each other. If I lost Nix, I would be all alone here in Biringan City. I felt incredibly selfish for thinking that and squeezed my hands together more tightly in an attempt to get a grip. I had to remember this wasn’t about me. Nix looked like Qian had said he would lock her in chains and banish her to a tower like a tragic princess from the stories.
“I don’t believe in destiny,” Nix said. “I don’t want that life.”
“Well…” Amador said, and clicked her tongue. She held out her hand toward Lucas, and he obediently accepted. It made my skin crawl. I had to dig my fingernails into the arms of my chair to stop myself from leaping to my feet in a rage.
“Forgive me, Prince—” Amador continued, but Qian interrupted.
“Please, call me Qian.”
Amador’s smile spread wide. “Of course. Qian. Forgive me for my ignorance, but I’m unaware of the customs in Jade Mountain. Must all of the emperor’s daughters be married?”
Qian looked at Amador, hand in hand with Lucas, and he leaned forward. “I take it you understand the political importance of matrimony.”
“I do,” Amador said. “I’ve been betrothed to Lucas for most of my life, but we’ve known each other since birth. Loved each other since birth. Is there someone who has a similar history with Nix in Jade Mountain?”
Why did she want to know? What did she care? I thought bitterly.
“No,” Qian said. “Nothing like the love you two have. But love is not a requirement for marriage. Though it helps.” His gaze darted playfully to me, but I barely noticed.
Something ugly and boiling hot roiled inside my stomach, like I’d eaten a bowl of acid. Seeing Lucas and Amador together made my whole body feel too small to contain me. My heart drummed furiously against my rib cage, quickening with each passing second. The edges of my vision darkened, and what I could see turned red.
I wanted to kill Amador…
Then I snapped out of it, scared by how vicious my thoughts had turned. I let out a small gasp as cool air rushed into my lungs, and the darkness on the edges of my vision receded. Everyone looked at me, expecting me to say something, but a dull noise droned in my head like a hive, and I realized it was my blood roaring in my ears.
I’d never felt that angry before. I was clenching my fists so hard they were shaking, and the tips of my fingers had gone numb. When I looked down, I almost expected claws. Instead, I saw plain crescent shapes from my nails in my palms.
I stood up, bracing myself against the table, and took a moment to gather myself. Everyone was still staring at me, some glancing at one another as if they weren’t sure I was in my right mind, but I cleared my throat and looked at Qian.
“Would you join me for a walk?” I asked. “I would like to speak with you privately.”
Qian looked at me for a long second, eyes alight with interest, and nodded. “It would be my pleasure.”