The Eraser (Houlihan Men of Dublin Book 1)

Chapter 14

I whimperout a low moan as I turn. Christ, Dad really did a number on my ribs last night. My eyes open, and I quickly shut them again as I”m blinded by the light spilling in from the open curtains. Everything that happened last night rushes to me, and I sit up with a gasp as I realize I”m no longer at home. In fact, I remember Stephen holding me close.

Safety was all I felt when he held me. It”s stupid, as I”ve seen firsthand how dangerous he is, but there”s always been something calming and safe about Stephen. Maybe there”s something wrong with me for thinking that way, but I can”t deny that there”s something about Stephen that puts me at ease.

I glance around the room, and I”m oddly surprised at how clean and feminine everything is. The soft, off-white walls, the matching dresser and table, not to mention the cream armchair in the corner of the room... It looks like a woman”s room, not one that I”d expect Stephen to have.

”You”re awake,” I hear Stephen rumble. I glance at the door and see him leaning against the frame. ”How are you feeling?”

”I”m okay,” I reply. ”Where are we?”

”Home,” he says simply. ”You”re in pain. You”ve been whimpering on and off all night. Every time you moved, you”d whimper. So I”m guessing that fucker hurt your ribs?”

I nod, knowing there”s no point in lying. He”s not stupid. ”I”ll be fine,” I assure him. ”I promise. The pain will go away eventually. Nothing’s broken, just bruised.”

He moves from the door and comes to sit on the bed beside me. Having him this close is wreaking havoc with my emotions. He took care of me last night. Other than Mallory, no one else has ever taken care of me, not since Mam died.

”I”ve got a lot of questions,” he says, and I sigh. I should have known he would have. ”Why didn”t you tell anyone about what was going on?”

I glance away, unable to stand the shame that”s growing in my stomach. ”Who was there to tell? Jerry or Maverick? They were the only ones around. No matter how cold I was to Jer, he was always around.” I turn back to him, swallowing at the intense stare he has as he watches me. ”What would have happened had I told them? They”d have killed him.”

He raises a brow, almost as though he can”t understand what I”m saying. ”He”d have stopped.”

”Would he have? Or would he have been angrier than he already was? My dad has always been an animal, Stephen. We”ve always known that. But when Mam died, it was as though a switch flipped inside of him. He became unrelenting. He hates being told what to do and he lives for power.”

I watch as his jaw tenses. ”Him being demoted from being Jer”s right hand would have pissed him off.”

I nod. ”It did. He was so angry. But thankfully, he didn”t hurt me for a while.”

”Explain what you mean?” he asks, his voice harsh and filled with confusion.

”I don”t understand why talking about this will help,” I say, hoping and praying that I won”t have to tell all of my secrets. It”s bad enough that he”s seen me beaten and vulnerable. I don”t want him to uncover everything that”s happened.

His cheek muscle twitches and his eyes darken. ”The first time I saw you, you were fourteen and fucking broken,” he says thickly. ”Never, not fucking once, have I felt the urge of possessiveness that I felt the moment our hands touched. Watching you dance...” He shakes his head. ”At fourteen, you were too fucking young, too damn innocent. I tried. For fucking years, I”ve tried to keep my distance, telling myself that you deserve better. You”re a soft, sweet, kind person, everything I”m not.”

”But you didn”t stay away,” I say quietly. ”You”ve been watching me for years.”

He nods. ”I haven”t been able to stay the fuck away. There”s something about you, Little Dancer, something that makes me want so fucking much more. I couldn”t keep my distance. I couldn”t leave you alone. I had to know you were safe, and all along you haven’t been.”

I glance down at my hands. That”s a fucking lot to take in. I”ve always known that he”s been watching me, that he”s drawn to me, but the emotion in his voice is unlike anything I”ve ever heard. ”I don”t know what you want me to say. You”ve been hot and cold with me. You were my first kiss, my only kiss, and you left without a word. Now I”m here and I have no one left. He was my only family.”

I”ve realized that the hatred I”ve held is down to my dad telling me that Mam died at the hands of the Kellys. I thought that Jer didn”t give a crap, and in turn neither did the rest of the family, but the truth was, Dad is a liar. And for what? I don”t know, but I want to find out. I feel awful that I”ve pushed Jer away so much when he was trying to help me. God, I feel so messed up right now.

I hate my dad, but he”s all that I have. Jer and Maverick have tried to be around, but they have their own lives. I can”t rely on them. I don”t want them to feel burdened by me and that”s what”ll happen if they find out. They”ll kill Dad.

”I know that,” he says. ”I know just how innocent you are. I”ve been holding back, not wanting to taint you.”

I roll my eyes. ”I was tainted a long time ago,” I mutter.

His eyes narrow, but thankfully, he doesn”t ask questions about what I said. ”You have a choice,” he says through clenched teeth. ”Maverick has been here since last night. He”s willing to take you away and keep you safe.”

I look up at him and see the anger flashing in his dark brown eyes. He”s not happy with my cousin. ”What”s the choice?” I ask calmly, even though my heart is racing.

”You can go with Maverick or you can stay here. No matter what, you”ll have Maverick, Freddie, and I keeping you safe.”

I swipe my tongue along my bottom lip as I try to think of what to say. ”Do you want me to go with him?”

”No, but it”s not up to me,” he replies. ”I can”t make that decision for you.”

My lips twitch. ”Though you”d like to, right?”

His lips pull at the ends, and I know he”s trying not to smile. ”You don”t need to answer right now. I just need you to think it over.”

I already know my answer. I want to stay here and be with Stephen. He makes me feel safe. He”s the only person I”ve ever felt that way with before. I”m at ease when I”m around him. ”As long as it”s not an imposition, I”d like to stay here,” I say softly.

The grin he has can only be described as triumphant. ”Good. I wouldn”t have let you go anywhere.”

I shake my head. I should have known that the man who”s been watching me for the best part of four years wouldn”t let me go, not when he finally has me in his home. His gaze drops to my lips, lingering there for a few seconds, and the air around us crackles with tension. I can feel my heart racing in my chest as I try to maintain a fa?ade of calm, despite the fear and excitement bubbling just beneath the surface. His hand reaches out, fingers lightly grazing my cheek, sending shivers down my spine. I resist the urge to pull away, unsure of what may happen if I do.

”You”re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice low and dangerously seductive. I try to keep my breathing steady, not wanting to seem too eager, not wanting to let him know just how much I want him. It’s been over a year since our kiss, and yet it seems like just yesterday.

His touch sends a jolt of electricity through me, making my skin tingle with anticipation. I can see the hunger in his eyes, I feel it in the way he draws me closer to him. The room seems to fade away, and it’s just the two of us and this burning desire that we feel. Deep within me I crave his touch, his kiss, his embrace. I’ve always felt this way about him.

Stephen Maguire has a hold over me and I don’t think it’ll ever change.

As his lips inch closer to mine, I close my eyes and wait for the moment, the one that I’ve dreamed about for a year. The kiss is fierce and passionate, igniting a fire within me that threatens to consume everything in its path. In that moment, nothing else matters but him and me, just as it’s always been.

God, he’s so good at this. I want more. I need more. He’s all I have ever wanted, and right now I finally have him.

It’s a while before he pulls back, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I watch him, his eyes dark with lust as he watches me. ”Why did we stop?” I ask, sounding breathless.

He smirks. ”If I didn”t pull back, Little Dancer, I”d have fucked you so hard you”d be screaming my name. Your cousin is in the living room and I doubt you”d like him to hear us fucking.”

My lips part in an ”O” shape and heat spreads up my cheeks.

”Shower, baby, then I”ll make you breakfast. I have a lot more questions that I need answers to.”

Unable to speak right now, I nod. A shower would be good.

”Clothes are in the closet for you,” he tells me as he gets to his feet. ”Let me know if you need anything,” he says as he presses a kiss to my cheek before leaving the room.

I stare at the closed door, trying to figure out how everything I thought I knew has changed within the space of twenty-four hours. I have no idea where Dad is, nor do I know what”s happened to him, and there”s a part of me that doesn”t really want to know, scared that he”s gone, but the bigger part of me needs to know. I just hope he”s not dead. As much as he”s hurt me, he”s still my dad.

I”m not sure how long I stay staring at the door, but once I”m pulled out of my inner thoughts, I get to my feet and make my way to the bathroom. I smile when I see there”s a soft pale pink towel hanging on the rack. My heart melts even more. Stephen has gone all out to ensure my comfort and I really appreciate that.

I turn on the shower and let the water cascade down my back. It feels amazing beating against my skin, working out the knots that I have. I realize that Stephen has gone out and purchased my brand of shower gel, shampoo, and conditioner. He really has taken an interest in me.

I should find it creepy, but I actually find it oddly sweet.

I stay in the shower for as long as possible. When I step out, I wrap that pink fluffy towel around me and sigh in contentment. I feel so at ease, even with the dreaded talk Stephen wants to have with me. He”s not going to stop until he has every single question answered. I need to decide just how much I”m willing to tell him. There are some things that I”m not sure I”m ready to talk about.

Opening the closet, I”m shocked to find so many clothes, all of them something I would wear, although brighter than what I”ve worn recently. I can”t help the smile that forms on my face when I reach for the pink leggings and matching t-shirt. They look so very pretty and it”s been years since I”ve worn anything this pink.

It doesn”t take me long to find underwear. I should be annoyed that he knows my bra size but I can”t find it in me to be mad. I dry off and pull on my panties and matching bra, these both in pink too.

My stomach rolls when I see the scars that mar my thighs. They”re ugly and cover a lot of skin. They”re hard to hide when wearing dresses. It”s why I always wear outfits that go below my knee. I need to hide the scars.

The bedroom door opens and my gaze collides with Stephen”s, my heart racing and my stomach rolling as he takes in my half-naked body. There”s no way he could miss the scars.

Shit.