The Eraser (Houlihan Men of Dublin Book 1)

Chapter 29

One month later

Stephen”s fingersgently run through my hair. ”Are you doing okay, Little Dancer?” he asks softly.

It”s been two days since I was released from the hospital. I’m in pain, I’ve had skin grafts, it’s been torture having the surgery and not being able to move. This time is different than the last, but the doctors have done a good job and it’s going to take a while for me to recover. I medically discharged myself, something that Stephen was pissed about, but I couldn’t stay in that hospital any longer. I’ve promised that I’ll continue with the therapy and whatever is needed to get better. I just can’t do it stuck in a hospital bed.

Stephen’s been like a sentry, watching my every move, ensuring that I”m okay. I love that he cares, that he”s so attentive and protective. He”s even let others around me, which I was quite surprised but happy about. I”m not allowed to move much, something Stephen has taken on board and decided to be my personal carrier. No matter if I need to go to the bathroom, to the kitchen, sitting room, or bed, he”s carrying me from place to place, making sure I don”t overexert myself.

”I”m good. I”ll be glad once I”m able to move around. I miss dancing,” I say with a sigh. It”s been my constant. Throughout the pain and heartache, through the good times and bad, my dancing was always there, and right now I”m unable to do it.

”How did you manage when you were burned first?” he asks, continuing to run his fingers through my hair.

”I took a lot of pain pills. I needed the escape. It”s also why I only did short dances. I couldn”t do any more. It probably made my recovery longer, but it gave me something I could do, a way to escape the house.”

”You could have gotten sepsis or anything,” he says, his voice a little hard.

”I know, but I was young, and I was alone. I needed an escape. I only had Mallory, Stephen, and she was young too.”

He sighs. ”I know. It fucking pains me that you”ve been through so much shit.”

I press my hand against his chest and lean my head closer to him. ”I”m here,” I assure him. ”Right here with you, exactly where I want to be.”

He dips his head and kisses my forehead. ”Love you, Jess.”

I close my eyes, savoring his words. God, he”s the fucking best. ”I love you,” I reply softly. ”Thank you for saving me.”

I never did say that before and I feel like it needs to be said. He saved me when I needed it most. I felt as though I was stuck in that house forever with my dad and I just couldn”t see an escape. I had planned on running away, but I know my dad would have found me, especially when he had promised me to Fintan.

”Trust me, baby,” he says thickly, ”I was always coming for you. The moment I saw you, I knew you were mine. I was just fucking trying to keep your innocence intact as long as I could.”

”Who”d have thought that the Eraser would have a sweet spot?” I tease lightly.

His brows knit together. ”I don”t,” he says. ”Sweet?” he echoes as though it”s a foreign concept.

”Okay,” I say, pursing my lips. Maybe he”s not sweet to anyone but me.

”Callie will be here today,” he says, his fingers now massaging my scalp. ”She”s worried about you.”

”I know she is. I”m worried about her too,” I murmur, my eyes closing. I”m tired a lot more these days. I find it hard to make it through an entire day without taking a nap or two.

”She”s doing okay,” he tells me. ”Denis is making sure of it.”

I nod, glad that she has that. ”He made her watch. I hate him so much for that.”

He reaches for my hand with his other hand and squeezes it tightly. He”s so careful as to not put his hands near my back in case he accidentally jars me or hurts me. He may not think he”s sweet, but he is. He truly is and I love him so very much.

”I”m glad he”s dead, Jess. Fuck, I wish I could kill him over and over again. Watching you in pain as you recovered from your burns...” He shakes his head. ”I”d kill him a thousand times over to take it away.”

”I”m getting better,” I tell him. ”Soon, the scars are all that”s going to remain. He”s gone, I”m safe, and we”ve got our entire lives ahead of us.”

He presses a kiss to my lips. ”That”s right, baby, we fucking do. What are you wanting to do?”

”I don”t know,” I admit. ”I never really thought about the future and what it could be for me. Right now, I”m happy to be here with you and be your wife. I love that I”m Mrs. Maguire.”

His eyes darken. ”You”re not the only one. You”re so fucking beautiful, baby, so damn smart and precious. I”m the luckiest man alive.”

He”s delusional, that’s what he is. I”m far from blind or stupid. I know there are women out there who are gorgeous and perfect, who would jump at the chance to be in my position. But thankfully for me, he wanted me. He”s always wanted me, and that makes me feel so fucking special. He thinks he”s a lucky guy, but I”m one of the luckiest women in the world. I have a man who would kill for me, who would do anything in his power to protect me.

If the tables were turned and Stephen was in trouble, I”d do everything I could to protect him. I may not be able to kill or be able to hurt someone the way he does, but I know plenty of people who can and I have no issues with using them if need be. I finally understand what Callie spoke about when I was growing up.

Aunt Nicola and Uncle Eric met when they were young. They have both said that the moment they saw one another they just knew they had met their one—the person they were going to marry. They never spent a day apart and have been happily married for thirty odd years.

I was too young to understand what I felt when I met Stephen. I just felt safe. It was that feeling that made me trust him. Being in a home where there”s no safety, I clung to Stephen as I felt safe with him. I wondered if it was a crutch, if I was using him for that feeling, but as the years went on I knew it was more than that. It was a whole lot more than just safety. It was a man who would become my everything.

Stephen”s hands massaging my scalp are enough to lull me to sleep, and I fall asleep with a smile on my face, feeling happy and content lying next to my husband.

* * *

”You look better,” Callie comments as she takes a seat opposite me. Denis and Stephen are sitting in the kitchen, giving us some space.

Callie has been visiting me every couple of days while I was in the hospital. She said it was because she wanted me to see someone other than Stephen, but I have a feeling it”s so she can see for herself that I”m okay. Whatever the reason, I”m glad she has been, as it gives me the chance to ensure that she”s healing okay from what happened.

”So do you,” I reply softly, giving her a smile. ”You”re finally sleeping.”

Her eyes widen slightly. ”How did you know?”

”Because I”ve been the same. Stephen”s finally started to ease up now that I am. He was worried I wouldn”t be able to sleep through the night again.”

She wrings her hands together. ”It”s hard. Sometimes I can go months without a nightmare, then it”ll hit me out of nowhere and I feel as though I”m back in my house and I”m scared.”

”I hate that you had to see what Dad did to me,” I say, tears springing to my eyes. ”But I”m glad you”re okay.”

She gets up from her seat and moves to sit beside me. I can feel Stephen”s gaze on us and I know he”s worried in case I”m hurt, but he needn”t be. Callie wouldn”t harm me. She”s probably one of the gentlest souls in the world.

”I”m sorry,” she says, reaching for my hands. ”I”m so sorry that I was so wrapped up in my own life that I didn”t think about you. I should have known better. Your dad wasn”t the nicest of men. I should have checked on you, Jess. I”m so, so sorry.”

”It wasn”t your fault, Callie. It wasn”t anyone”s but Dad”s. He”s the person who did this, not anyone else. Yes, it hurt that no one noticed what was happening to me, but in retrospect, Dad would have lost his mind had anyone tried to intervene. I wouldn”t have been able to handle someone else being hurt.”

”It should never have happened,” she fumes. ”I just wish we”d all done more for you. We all let you down, Mam especially. Aunt Patty would be really disappointed.”

”How is your mam?” I ask, hoping to change the subject. I hate speaking about the past. It”s not going to do anything. It can”t change it and all it”ll do is bring everyone down.

”She”s had her ass handed to her by Stephen and Jer. They were both very angry with her. I think it was because she was always talking about how much she loves her family and it”s all that matters, but whenever someone”s in trouble she”s never around, or she buries her head in the sand. Neither Stephen nor Jer would allow her to do it this time. So she”s in her feelings right now.”

I smile. That sounds like Auntie Nicola. ”I know Stephen let loose because he was frustrated. He also had pent-up anger from what happened with you five years ago and the way your mam treated you.”

She grins. ”Yeah. Dad was pissed back then, as was Denis, but no one said anything. I was hurt and emotional, and Dad and Denis were focused on me. Then it was just swept under the rug. I had thought everyone had forgotten about it. Obviously, I was wrong.”

I smile. ”Stephen”s very protective and you”re his sister, Callie. He”s not going to let anyone get away with treating you like shit. He probably would have kept it to himself had I not been taken by Dad. But he does care a lot about you.”

”I know,” she says. ”Stephen is my brother, just as Mav is. I would do anything for either of them. I want you to know that I”m very happy for you both. I know that’s exactly what we should have said when we found out you were married, but I am truly so very happy for you. The love you have is clear for everyone to see. I wish you both every ounce of happiness.”

My heart fills with so much warmth. ”Thank you,” I whisper. It means so much coming from her. It”s his family”s approval and that means the world to me.

”Chloe would like to see you whenever you”re up for it. She”s dying to see you, and Denis and I are respecting Stephen”s boundary of not having too many people see you while you”re still healing. Especially as Chloe is around so many children in the clubhouse. She”s more susceptible to getting colds and the flu, and that”s not something we want you to catch while you”re recovering.” There”s no anger or resentment in her voice, just genuine care and worry.

”I”ll video call her tonight,” I promise her. ”It”s probably the best way right now.”

Callie gets to her feet, then bends down and presses a kiss to my cheek. ”I”ll come back in a few days. I”m glad you”re doing better, Jess.”

Watching her and Denis leave, I realize that I”m truly content with my life now. I”m not upset, nor do I harbor any hatred toward anyone who didn”t see that I was in pain. They had their own lives, their own problems. While I was a child, I also had a dad who was supposed to take care of me. But he didn”t. He was abusive and neglectful. That isn”t on anyone but him.

I”m actually happy. I have amazing people around me, people I love, and I have my husband, a man who would go to Hell and back for me if needed. I”m blessed, utterly blessed to have such a great support system around me now. I know that in the future, I”m going to get past the pain and let go of any hatred I have for my dad, but if it doesn”t come, I”ll be okay. I have everything I could ever want, right here in this house.