Chapter 38
CHAPTER 38
Ash
Yes! Yes! And Yes!
I was going to have sex with him. And it wasn’t from my friends urging me last night and this morning. I wanted to. Fuck , I wanted to so badly that all I had been able to think about last night was him. His hands, his mouth on my breasts and the pleasure I’d experienced last night. Best of my life. I had not even experienced that at the hands of a very expensive sex toy that promised to rotate, suck, vibrate and thrust all at once. It did. And the orgasm had been mind-blowing, but when compared to the ones I’d had last night, it might as well have been a small sneeze.
I had my leg up in the shower trying to shave myself. I was in a seriously awkward position, one leg perched on the taps, bending down at the waist, trying to shave my labia and surrounds without causing damage. Yes! I was going to do it. I was going to have sex with him and that was it. I shaved myself almost totally naked, which I hadn’t planned on doing, but after slipping and accidentally shaving half the landing strip off, I had to commit to that look. I climbed out the shower and then smothered myself from head to toe in the very luxurious cream the boat had provided. It smelled divine and I slathered it on until I was shiny and moisturized. I brushed my hair and then dug through my bag to find the stuff that Sarah had insisted I pack “ just in case ” . I was glad she’d talked me into packing the “ just in case ” stuff now. I’d put it all in a smaller bag that I’d put at the very bottom of the suitcase. I pulled the bag out and unzipped it.
One red sexy lacy bra, check.
One red sexy skimpy pair of panties, check.
Wait, what the hell was this?
I felt something else in the bag and pulled it out. I laughed as soon as I saw what it was and read the handwritten note attached to the box.
In case it doesn’t happen, and you get frustrated! Sarah x
A bright pink dolphin vibrator stared back at me. Only Sarah could have packed me something like this. I put it back in, smiling to myself. I was not going to be needing that this trip. Not at all. In fact, if the old curse had been broken, which hopefully it had been, I might never need a vibrator again for as long as I lived. I would become “Orgasm Woman.” My superpower would be sleeping with men and actually having an orgasm! Maybe my days of vibrator usage were finally over.
I climbed into the sexy underwear first and looked at myself. Not bad, not bad. (Apart from the odd red mosquito bite, that is.) I pulled a dress over it all, the only (non-ripped) dress I had, and then looked at myself in the mirror again. I grabbed my make-up bag and pulled out my foundation. I seldom wore foundation; I was blessed with pretty good, even skin. But tonight called for me to at least dab some over those two red unsightly bites I had on my face. I put on some mascara, brushed some blush over my cheeks and ran gloss over my lips. And then I left the room and went looking for Max.
It took me a while to find him. He was not on any of the decks, the dining area or the lounge. In fact, he was all the way at the back end of the boat. And he wasn’t alone. I froze and watched. A cold, clammy feeling swept over my skin, despite the hot air. He was with a woman. A particularly gorgeous one, who was leaning, and pushing her chest out, and swaying seductively from side to side as she talked to him with a twinkle in her eye that was brighter than the sun. There was something in the way she was looking at him too. It implied a certain familiarity, a knowing.
My stomach tightened. They knew each other. They’d had sex, or something sexual had happened! I could see it now as clear as daylight. You did not sway like that, deliberately making your skirt creep up your thighs if the man had not seen your thighs before. Or worse, been between them. You did not stare at his mouth so obviously biting your lower lip while you did. An image of her straddling Max, fucking him while she bit her lips filled my mind.
When the hell had they had sex? Last night after I’d gone back to the boat and left him at the lodge? Today while she was “showing” him around? Or were they building up to it? They’d shared a sneaky kiss or two, a grope, and now they were building up for the main course, and right bloody now it would seem, because she laid her hand on his elbow and he slipped his hand over hers.
I felt queasy, itchy even. My stupid red lingerie and shaved bloody everything felt uncomfortably unbearable now. Like it was mocking me for having done that. God, I felt so, so stupid. What had I thought? That I was special. That he was not seeing and sleeping with other women. Of course he bloody was. He’d tantric-sexed himself halfway round the planet and in the few months he’d been in Cape Town had garnered himself a sexual reputation that was almost godlike. But when he’d had me pinned against a door coming for the first time with an actual human, and he’d told me he wanted more, it had not even crossed my mind that I would have to contend with any others here, or now.
And then the worst thing happened. She leaned all the way in and kissed him. I didn’t need to see any more. I turned away quickly as my ribs squeezed me and my stomach churned. I ran back to my room as silently and quickly as I could.
“Stupid!” I berated myself as I paced the room angrily . Max was out there, not even twenty-four hours after making me come in a broom closet, flirting with some ridiculously hot woman with huge breasts. Less than twenty-four hours ago, his hands had been all over my body, in my body, and now his hands were touching someone else entirely. I had to stop this! Enough was enough. My brain had been very right. Hooking up with Max was a mistake and now I needed to draw a very deep line in the sand when it came to him and never cross it again.
“No!” This was it! And not just for Max—if this wasn’t a sign that I should not be dating and sexing with men, then what else could be? From now on it would be DETOX ! I would live on celery juice and exercise. Self-improvement and sex toys. It was all just too painful, too exhausting, too embarrassing, and too soul-destroying. All the disaster dates I went on with various men that all let me down in some way or the other, and now dressing up like a clown, hoping to have sex with a man who was clearly about to have sex with someone else. I was done! I paced the room some more, thoughts ripping through my mind like bullets from a machine gun.
I didn’t need men. I had Petal. I had the best friends anyone could ever want and I had Roger Rabbit, and now Mr. Dolphin too. And Roger had never let me down. He always gave me exactly what I wanted and needed and I didn’t have to have weird, awkward conversations with him before, or after. Roger and I understood each other; we didn’t need anyone else.
I stopped pacing as I remembered how I’d put Mr. Dolphin back into my bag. So sure I would never need anything like him again, so sure that the orgasms I’d had with Max were the best of my life and no toy could ever be as good as that. I hung my head and shook it.
No! Max could not be the best orgasm-giver of my life! He could not, because then he would have cursed me all over again, in a new, creative way. I refused to spend the next thirteen years of my life living under a new Max-induced curse. I had to break it, right here and right now, or else it was sure to follow me.
I raced over to my bag and in seconds ripped the packaging off my new vibrator. I was going to give myself seventeen orgasms with this thing to prove to myself that Max was not the be all and end all and I could be more than happy without him, without men and just my trusty vibrators. My little dolphin friend over here was going to knock all thoughts of Max out of my brain, permanently. Besides, who wanted to have sex with a man who’d probably slept with the population of an entire small country, and owned a smelly llama! Not me! As far as I was concerned, Max could kiss my ass goodbye, like he had done thirteen years ago.
I jumped onto my bed, put my knees up and tried to get comfortable and ready myself for the best multiple orgasms of my life. But it was boiling. The aircon had broken earlier today and someone was coming round to fix it later, but until then this room was hot enough to roast a chicken in. I jumped off the bed, opened the massive window for air and then closed the net curtain so no one could see in. Not that anyone could—we were on a boat in the middle of the river and we were about to start moving again. I jumped back onto my bed. I was going to prove to myself, come hell or high water, that Max was not the person who had given me the most intense, earth-shattering orgasms of my life. In fact, I was more than capable of doing that on my own . . . except right now I was feeling very, very, very not turned on. At all.
I grabbed my phone and opened my favorite female-friendly porn site and tried to watch some, but still . . . nothing . This could not be happening. I would be damned if Max was going to be the best orgasm of my fucking life.
“Hello, it’s the handyman. I’m here to fix your aircon.” The voice ripped through the room and—instant panic.
“Hang on!” I shouted, and threw myself off the bed while pressing the “off” button of the still-shaking vibrator. But the thing would not stop. No matter how hard I pressed the button, it was still vibrating.
“Give me a moment,” I shouted, and looked around the room. Not very many options to hide a loud, shaking sex toy. I threw the dolphin into the bathroom and closed the door, but could still hear it shaking about. I put a gown on and then tried to shove it under the pillows in the hope that they would muffle the sound somewhat. They did not.
“Do you think you can come back in ten minutes?” I asked.
“Sorry, I’m from the lodge. I have to get back in ten minutes to fix something else, and the boat is going to be moving soon.”
“Shit!” I hissed under my breath. I looked around frantically again. There was only one option. One thing left to do to get rid of this loud, shaking thing that would not turn off. I walked over to the large window and pulled the net curtain aside. The water was only a few meters away, and so I tossed it and watched, waiting for it to sink. Only, that did not happen.
“No! No!” I gripped the windowsill in horror as the vibrations acted like a bloody motor and the pink dolphin scooted over the water like a speedboat. “Shiiit!” I watched as the pink thing darted through the water, motoring past a group of crocs.