Chapter 54
CHAPTER 54
Max
We stepped off the plane and didn’t talk to each other. She didn’t even acknowledge me once by glancing in my direction. This lasted all the way from the plane to the baggage section. My bag arrived quickly, hers did not. But when she saw me there, still waiting for her, she told me not to wait. So I left her and walked out of the gates.
My eyes were immediately drawn to four people holding a sign.
Welcome home from prison, Ash.
I looked back at the people holding the sign and recognition and a smile flooded my face.
“Sarah!” I walked straight up to her. I was thrilled to see her. We’d spent almost as much time together as Ash and I had spent together in high school, and I’d honestly missed her.
She looked at me for a moment blankly, and then her mouth opened and she began shaking her head.
“ Nooooo! ” she said, looking shell-shocked. “I mean, Ash said you looked different, but you can’t look this different. Surely not.”
I held my arms open. “It’s me,” I said, and she walked straight into the hug I was offering.
“I can’t believe it.” She held on to me and we rocked from side to side for a while.
“It’s so good to see you,” I said, letting her go. She made a huge show of walking around me, examining me.
“You have hair! In lots of places. And, God”—she squeezed my arms—“where the hell did these come from?”
I shrugged.
“Come! Come meet the others.” She pulled me towards the other people who were holding the ridiculous sign that I had to have a chuckle about.
“This is Melusi, this is Yo, and Charlie,” she said, and I reached out to shake their hands.
“Um . . . world-famous agent.” I pointed at Charlie. “I think, and . . . wait, best production designer Ash has ever worked with.” I pointed at Melusi this time. “And amazing good musician! Did I get that right?”
“That was basically perfect,” Melusi said, looking at the other two.
“Although I don’t know about the world-famous bit, but whatever. I’ll take it. I have to take something—my job is such a shit show,” Charlie said.
“Her job is always a shit show,” Sarah said. “But yours apparently is not. Congratulations! You’ve done so well for yourself. That’s amazing.”
“Thank you. I do love what I do.”
“Mmmm, always a good thing,” Charlie said. “I hate what I do. Can we swap jobs? How are you with handling models and actresses . . .” She suddenly slapped her hands over her mouth and her eyes widened. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that—”
“Oh my God,” Melusi gasped, and burst out laughing.
Sarah and Yo followed suit and then Sarah gave me a slap on the arm. “Sorry, it’s just that, well . . .”
“Let’s just say there are many, many stories about you handling models and actresses,” Melusi quickly added.
“So I’ve heard,” I said, not sure whether I thought this was funny, or not.
“Sorry, ignore us. We’ve clearly spent waaay too much time talking about you these last few days and now you’re just on our minds, in every way possible,” Sarah said.
“No worries. I’m glad Ash has friends like you she can talk to.”
“Speaking of, where is Ash?” Yo asked.
“She’s still at the baggage claim, I think.”
“You think?” Melusi asked.
“ Ja , she’s not exactly talking to me right now. She told me to leave her, so I did. In fact, I should probably get going before she comes out. I wouldn’t want to ruin your surprise by being here,” I said, and picked up my bag.
“Why aren’t you guys talking?” Yo asked.
“I think that’s her story to tell, not mine. But so nice to see you again, Sarah. I’m really glad that you and Ash are still so close. I like knowing she has someone like you in her corner.” I looked at the others now. “And you guys too. Thanks for being such good friends to her.” I gave them all one last look and then walked away before Ash came out and saw me standing here. It would ruin the happy surprise that this was clearly meant to be, and she needed some cheering up. I didn’t want to spoil that for her.
Dear Ash,
How’s work? Hope everything is going well and the shoot is on track. I’m sure it is with you as the DOP . It took me a while to get going, so exhausted from the trip . . .
I deleted the email message for the tenth time that morning. I had been trying to write emails to her all week, ever since being back.
Dear Ash,
I fucking love you. I am in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for thirteen years. Tell me you’re prepared to give us another chance. I know we’re meant to be together. I know, without a doubt, that it is you. It’s always been you.
I deleted it. Obviously. But it had felt good to write. I had not been able to stop thinking about her, from the second we’d walked off that plane together, until now. Sitting here in my office after hours, writing emails to her that I knew I would never send. To make the whole thing worse, when I’d arrived back home, my mother had decided to have another semi-lucid moment, where she’d asked me if I’d proposed to Ash yet. I’d played along and told her I was planning on asking her to marry me after the dance that night. She’d said she couldn’t wait for the wedding, and had then drifted off again.
I needed a distraction. I needed to get my mind off Ash in some way, any way, or I felt like I was going to die just thinking about her. If I carried on like this, I was scared of self-combusting, blowing myself to little pieces, and then never being able to put myself back together again. The problem was I could no longer turn to the distractions I’d used in the past. Work, yes. Traveling, yes. Sex, no.
Bianca had messaged me yesterday. She knew I was back, and she wanted to know if she could come round. And she made it clear it was not for coffee. I hadn’t even thought about it. Some months back, fucking a gorgeous woman might have filled the void a little bit. Now it felt like there was only one thing in the world that could fill it, and that one thing was her.