The Family Recipe

Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

Georgia, Evelyn, and yes, Connie

Just when Georgia thought her year couldn’t get any stranger, she found herself nestled between her estranged biological mother, Evelyn; her estranged stepmother, Connie; and Connie’s mother, Mrs. V?, outside the burned-down Duc’s Sandwiches shop in New Orleans. Hours after the fire calmed down, the women all sat down on the sidewalk, staring at the pile of black ash, each one lost in their thoughts, wondering how life had led them so far from their intended paths.

Connie began to wonder if she had thrown the best years of her life away, in exchange for the life her mother had wanted for her. Had any of it been worth it? Her usual designer attire, blackened and charred, her sleek hair, coated with ash. Money could buy anything, everything in the world, except for the one thing she really wanted—true companionship. It didn’t even have to be with the love of her life (if those were even real); she just wanted someone who she could be comfortable with, someone who could laugh with her, from time to time. Her passport was filled with places her mother could only dream of; her bank account, never overdrawn. Do you know how it felt, to look out from your hotel balcony and see the Eiffel Tower, all while drinking a glass of the most expensive, crisp champagne in the world? Connie knew how it all felt. It was exhilarating, but that feeling only lasted for a few minutes. Because she also knew how it felt when she looked behind her and saw that she was all alone.

Marriage had been lonelier than she had thought it would be. But Connie had been lonely her entire life; what was a few more years until Duc kicked the bucket? She’d get her bag, and then some. But as she stared at her lost years, melted down along with the Duc’s Sandwiches shop, she realized that her loneliness was going to kill her one day. She looked over at her mother, and wondered if it would be so terrible if she moved back to New Orleans for a while. That, perhaps, it would be nice to be taken care of again, and pretend to be a child.

Mrs. V? stared longingly into the black ash, wondering if she, too, had made a mistake in pushing her one and only child into marrying Duc. But he wasn’t just any man off the street, he was infamous among their circles. He was Duc of Duc’s Sandwiches. That name had weight, it carried with it connotations of gold, the American dream, and a carefree life. Was it so wrong? Connie was young; she could remarry if it came down to it. But Mrs. V? should have known most of all why lonely marriages were cancerous—that feeling of being tied to someone who didn’t care for your well-being. Mrs. V? knew very well how that felt, yet she had encouraged that same pattern.

Georgia stared and stared at the pile of ash. She knew the whole truth now. She knew everything about Duc and Evelyn’s history together. In some ways, she wished Evelyn had kept her in the dark. Perhaps her mother should have buried the truth along with the fire. In some ways, Georgia mourned the loss of her innocence, because now that the truth had spilled out of her mother, about Duc, about their marriage, about her past, about Mr. Ng?, she wondered if she could ever see the adults in her life the same way again. If she could ever pine for a lost childhood that was simply never hers to begin with.

Perhaps it was a metaphor or an omen of an empire in collapse that things were starting to collide with one another. But more than anything, Georgia was afraid to face what would come next. She was afraid of losing what little she had left of her family. Her mother, who was alive and breathing next to her, who had been so difficult to get close to for the last several months, but had finally opened up to her, had finally allowed Georgia to call her “Mom.” Not even “Má” yet, but simply “Mom.” And for now, that was enough for Georgia. Now she was afraid of losing all that progress; of losing her again. Her mother was a frightened stray, who was afraid of anyone coming close. There was a protocol to getting close to her, and only Georgia knew it. Georgia held the key.

And Georgia was deathly afraid that their family would never be able to recover together.

Only Evelyn was the one who saw hope in the ashes. She saw her past, lying among the embers. She saw Tu?n’s face, staring back at her: his thick eyebrows, that small scar above his left eyelid he had gotten in an accident, the many shades of brown of his eyes. But most of all, she saw that he was at peace, and that perhaps, after so many decades, it was time for her to find her own peace. Evelyn allowed herself to cry. She finally caved. Her tense shoulders loosened up and she wished with all her heart to see Tu?n one last time, and let him know that she had failed. Life had chipped away at her for so long, she had lost the stamina to fight back. And most of all, she had failed as a mother, allowing external forces to come between her and her children.

Would Tu?n even still love her, knowing how her life had turned out?

The wind came softly at first, and then it picked up speed, creating a swirl of black dust and cinder. The women coughed, covered their faces with their shirt collars or with loose sweaters. The wind pulled more and more away, taking debris to other parts of the country, and releasing them of their anger.

Tu?n’s face eventually disappeared altogether from Evelyn’s mind. Her grief, after so long, had turned into remembrance. And she remembered him as the love of her life, youthful, generous, and someone who loved her deeply.

Evelyn finally said her goodbye, after being unable to for so long.

To the outsiders who had been hiding and watching in fear, the four women appeared stranger than fiction. Though they were clearly connected somehow, their connection was as loose as a string tied between two tin cans, held together by the memories of a man who had done them all wrong.

“Well,” Georgia said, finally breaking the silence. “What do we do now?” She had seen a lot in her short, intrepid life, and was the first to recover.

“We find Duc,” Evelyn said, with so much finality that even Connie agreed with her.

“We find Duc,” Connie repeated, her eyes glued on the burnt building, still shocked and frightened by Evelyn’s unpredictable behavior.

“Okay, let’s find Duc, then,” Georgia confirmed.

“And once we find that son of a bitch,” Connie said, her voice now raised, “we’re going to skin him alive and then give him a taste of his own med—” Connie’s mother put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, to try to soothe her. Even Evelyn wasn’t having it.

“That’s a bit much—”

“Okay, wait, maybe we don’t skin him,” Georgia said, also trying to tame Connie’s anger. “Maybe, use your words?”

“Words?” Mrs. V? scoffed. “Who uses words anymore? Do what they used to do to the dictators that embezzled and drank away the money, hiding high up in their ivory towers: Drag them through the streets!”

“I mean, she’s not wrong wrong,” Evelyn said. “But maybe we don’t skin the man, we just make him bleed a little.”

“Men should know what it’s like to bleed,” Mrs. V? affirmed. “I have a knife you can borrow—”

“Wait, wait, wait ,” Georgia said urgently. “Let’s just all calm down. Maybe, you know, you can just talk to him. Confront him. Make him hear us. He needs to hear how much hurt he’s caused us, caused all of us.” Though it sounded like such an innocuous concept, each of the women knew what a milestone that was, to be able to confront someone and let them know how much pain they had been in.

But Connie, Evelyn, and Mrs. V? simply stared at Georgia as if she were speaking another language. Perhaps it was too soon to be celebrating growth.

“Let’s just focus on finding Duc, then,” Georgia muttered, her smile thin. “We’ll—we’ll figure out the rest once we cross that bridge.”

Connie and Evelyn looked at each other. A newfound respect had been planted.

“Should I call Jane? And everyone else?” Georgia asked timidly. “They deserve to know the truth.”

But all three women yelled at Georgia to not tell a damn soul, and that they would handle it.

She shut up immediately, though she did not believe them.