The Fiance Dilemma (The Long Game #2)

Chapter Twenty-Two

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The knock on the door of my bedroom came just as I secured the strap of my right shoe around my ankle.

Belly fluttering, I made my way to the door, racing across my bedroom.

A pair of brown eyes lit up.

“Fuck me,” Matthew breathed out. Then huffed out a laugh. “Seriously.” He swallowed. “Fuck me. Please.”

I pursed my lips. “That’s sweet.”

Although the way his eyes roamed hungrily, bringing heat to my skin everywhere they went—collarbones, hips, breasts, ankles, toes, breasts, face—was something a little more than just sweet.

“I wonder how many girls you’ve won over with that exact line.”

He clasped my left hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing my ring finger. A shiver curled down my spine. “None,” he said, matter-of-factly. “None who mattered.”

“Now that’s a little unfair,” I whispered.

Matthew pressed into me, walking me backward into my room. “It’s the truth,” he said, peppermint breath fresh on my lips. I wondered if he’d kiss me. Tonight. Soon. Now. The wedding was in less than a week. “Ask Adalyn. Ask anyone. Ask my mom when she gets here for Saturday.”

The reminder of that made most of the fluttering sensation flee.

We hadn’t talked about this. Not since that day in his kitchen. Lazy Elk’s. It was inexcusable that I hadn’t asked or pushed for more, but not only did I not know how, we’d also been so incredibly busy. And so… overwhelmed. In the best and scariest way possible. So absolutely backward we were. I couldn’t quite believe how any of this was happening.

Matthew watched my face for a moment, then dipped and kissed my jaw. Wickedly fast and impossibly soft. Not enough. “My sisters think you’re too pretty for me. They always have. They’re not wrong.”

“They always have?”

His smile was lopsided when he released my hand. He tugged at the lapel of his suit jacket, throwing it open. The fabric of his dress shirt was snug against his torso, displaying every plane and valley I hadn’t really touched. Kissed. Memorized. Lord, this was my fiancé. And—

A phone appeared in front of me. Matthew’s.

I frowned at the screen. There were messages. On a group chat. The Flannies. And there was a picture, too. Of us, Matthew and me. From the day at the farm, after yoga. I swallowed. I loved that picture. I loved all the selfies we’d taken that day. The only selfies we had.

“You don’t need to prove anything,” I told him. I wasn’t reading the texts. He really had nothing to prove. “I’m not getting my feelings hurt.”

“I’m not doing that,” he said. So soft and gentle. So understanding that it made me feel a little worse. Because I really was getting my feelings hurt. But it had nothing to do with him. And all of it with me. “Check the date. Check the day I sent that.”

With a sigh, I snatched the phone from his hands and scanned the screen.

The message was dated from that day. I remembered because I knew Green Oak’s activity brochure by heart, I knew what day I did what. He’d sent that picture later that night.

“Why?” I asked, my voice coming out weird. The question too misplaced.

Why… what exactly? he should have replied.

“Check what I wrote,” he said instead.

I glanced at him. Chest swelling. He made a face, as if he wasn’t backing down until I looked. As if we had all night. I returned my eyes to the phone.

“I’m marrying this girl,” I read out loud.

Something inside me stumbled at my words.

Something crystallized in his eyes in return. Something I didn’t want to acknowledge. I shouldn’t need to read anything into it. We’d been engaged by then. This was his soft launch text. Hey, here’s the girl. And by the way? I’m marrying her.

His family was coming to Green Oak, and he was marrying me, if the setup at the Vasquezes’ Farm was any indication. If the last weeks were too. If this whole thing none of us was stopping was.

Matthew cleared his throat. “My sisters have been, respectfully, worried I kidnapped the beautiful girl in the picture and tricked—or paid—her into smiling for the camera. They requested video proof, the blink once for yes and twice for also yes kind. You can see. It’s all there.”

I wasn’t going to check. I didn’t need receipts. He didn’t owe me anything. But I appreciated him immensely for trying to convince me that I had any right. So I brought the device up. And instead of reading the messages, I studied the picture again. We looked so… genuine. We always had. “I think it’s because you’re staring at my boobs like you haven’t had a meal in a week.”

“They’re great boobs.”

“It’s the yoga top.”

“It’s definitely the boobs. I’m a tits-and-ass man. And yours are beautiful. You are. I would—”

“I digress.” A small smile parted my two growingly heated cheeks. “Why didn’t you say something that day at the lodge?”

Matthew let out a strange breath. “Sit with me? I know we’re already pushing the clock, but I want you to enjoy tonight. I don’t want you to be thinking about shit that’s weighing you down because I made a selfish decision. Otherwise I’ll never get that first kiss that keeps eluding me.”

“We already kissed,” I countered.

“I thought I was clear when I said that wasn’t our first kiss,” he said, and when he tugged at my hand, I went with him without a complaint.

Soon, it was me guiding him, leading him to my bed. And I realized in that moment, that it was the first time he’d been here. The first time he was seeing where I slept, the dresser at the corner, the wallpaper on one wall, and a big yellow sun on the opposite one. It was the first time he saw me, sitting on my light-blue duvet in a dress I’d picked thinking of him.

I angled my body toward him.

I like him in my space. I love the way he looks at me from his spot on my bed.

“You look very handsome tonight,” I said. And I could tell from his smile that he hadn’t expected that. “I didn’t say anything before, and I should have. I got caught up in you being silly, because I like it a little too much. I like you a little too much.”

Even though like didn’t seem the right word.

Matthew made a face. One that told me he was changing his mind. No talking. More touching. I clasped his hands.

“I’m sitting,” I told him. “Like you asked. And I don’t mind being late. But you should start talking because I really like you here, in my room. And if you don’t distract me from that thought, we might be super late. Instead of fashionably so.”

He was frowning now. Debating. I tugged at his sleeve with my fingers. “My family doesn’t know about my job,” he let out with an exhale. “My parents don’t know I was fired. Or that I moved here to Green Oak. They think I am still in Chicago, and everything’s the same.”

I nodded, processing his words.

“My sisters think I’m using up vacation days and finally ‘frolicking’ like I used to. I don’t know what Eve means most of the time, by the way. I never frolicked. Not since college, at least.”

I didn’t doubt that for a second. Matthew was thoughtful and dedicated. He could be far more serious than most people gave him credit for, me included. It made me wonder if he was maybe trying to keep that side of him from his sisters. Maybe even from his parents. His friends. The world. “Why didn’t you tell them?” I asked him. “It sounds like you have a good relationship with them.”

“Would you believe it if I said that I don’t know? I…” he trailed off, eyes leaving mine and falling somewhere to his left. “A part of me didn’t want them to worry or make a fuss. I’ve always had a job, even in high school. College. I accepted the first good offer that fell on my lap fresh off graduation day.”

That sounded like him. He was a worrier as much as he tried not to appear as one. “Maybe that was why,” I offered. “You were always independent. And perhaps you didn’t like losing that too.”

“Maybe,” he admitted. “Or maybe I felt like I was failing everyone. That I was disappointing them.” He sighed. “Fuck, maybe it’s all the same thing.”

“But you did a good thing, Matthew,” I insisted, not liking the way his mouth had turned down. “You stood up for your friends. How could they not be proud of you for that?”

His palm fell on my thigh. Nothing but a reflex. Only this time, it felt like he was the one hanging on to me.

His eyebrows dipped in thought. “I guess they wouldn’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“My parents… They never cared too much for my job. It’s not like I worked at some newspaper with a big name. And that’s fine. I never minded. It’s okay that they don’t care for gossip. Entertainment. The internet. Smartphones.” He snorted. “They are proud of me. But they are simple, hardworking people, and I say that with all my respect and love. I’d do anything for them. They raised me to work hard, and once I was on my two feet… it gave them just enough peace. So why would I disrupt that? They’re already struggling with Tay’s choice to leave and follow a dream they’re scared is too big for her. That’s why I never told them the truth about what we were doing, Josie. Because I was already keeping things from them.”

The truth about what we were doing. That this was fake. A PR device. “So they haven’t seen anything about us, me or Andrew. Online or otherwise.”

Matthew gave a curt shake. “Not in detail, no. They know there’s some stuff being said. But they already knew Adalyn and who her—your—father is. They love Adalyn, so they were not surprised to hear I fell in love with her sister and didn’t want to wait. A supersonic engagement? Just Matthew, doing Matthew things.”

I fell in love with her sister.

My chest drummed in my chest. “Is going down on one knee and getting married in a little under two months a Matthew thing to do?”

“It can be.” His grip tightened, and I could feel the gentle imprint of the flowers on my skin. “It could be. That’s why they didn’t make a big fuss. Why they’re on their way here for the wedding, no questions asked. And why my sisters have been giving me so much shit. Tay is devastated she won’t make it. Eve wanted to come earlier but didn’t manage to on such short notice. My mom… She keeps asking me if you’re sure.” Matthew’s head shook. “They might really think I kidnapped you, Baby Blue.”

I smiled at him. I couldn’t not smile. Meeting his family… made me happy. The fact that they didn’t think I was a liar or a deceiver was a relief. But it felt strange, as if we were still under a pretense.

“So that’s why you came to Green Oak?” I asked, trying not to think of that.

“Remember what I said about retirement and an RV?” I gave him a nod. “They deserved to get to enjoy that, free of burdens. Financial or otherwise. I’m their eldest, out of the three of us, I should have my shit together. I shouldn’t be unemployed, or breaking the lease on an apartment I can no longer afford. I am also helping with Tay’s expenses in England. If they’d known, they would have taken that off my plate and had me move back home.”

They wouldn’t have realized their dream.

He didn’t need to say that. I read it on his face. In the way that same cloud that had hovered over my head yesterday was moving around his now. He was so selfless. So incredibly kind. He didn’t deserve to look so forlorn.

“Can I sit on your lap?”

His brows shot up, and when he didn’t answer, I scrambled onto him and threw my arms around his neck. He hissed out a breath, sounding like a balloon deflating. A happy balloon, though.

“You’re an incredible son,” I told him, feeling his arm sliding around me. He pulled me to him with one hand. “And an incredible man.”

He breathed me in, nose in the nook of my neck. A hum left him.

It made my toes curl. “Now, don’t get ideas,” I said, more for me than him. “This is a very PG utilization of your lap. Purely for distraction purposes. We’re running late as it is. If we don’t get there, everyone’s going to think we were really frolicking like your sisters said.”

We both laughed at that, and when I pushed back, he let me go. Even if with a little resistance. I could be strong for him, just this once.

I stood up, grabbing his hands and pulling him to his feet. The sight of him standing in the middle of my room, smiling, was like a punch to the heart. He looked so right. So very mine.

“You have a sun on your wall,” he said.

“I painted it years ago.” My lips tipped higher. “It always makes me smile.”

His eyes darkened in a way that told me his mind had drifted away. To a place that made my belly tight and my chest short of breath. A place that had me itching for that kiss he wasn’t giving me.

When Matthew spoke it was quiet, just for us. “Those are the best things.”

Those are the best things.

Once again, I recognized his words as mine. I’d told him that, when this whole thing had started. Only it hadn’t been about smiles, but about something far bigger than that.

Something as big as the sun painted on the wall behind me.

Rehearsal dinners often went one of two ways.

They either went by in a flash, or they stretched on for so long that you had time to think of stuff like time and space being a construct of society or whether your butt was now shaped like a chair. A folding chair in this case. Thanks to Andrew’s generously opening the invitation to all of Green Oak, we’d resorted to using them for all of the seating. And I would be throwing them into a pyre first thing Monday, the moment R.W. was over, if not because we’d need them for next Saturday.

The wedding.

Usually one thing followed the other. But this had never been a usual affair.

My gaze drifted away from my empty plate, toward my sister.

She immediately caught my eye and gave me a smile.

God, I hugged her so long and so hard when I’d seen her that Cam patted my shoulder with alarm. I’d missed them so much, even though I was still relieved after our visit to their place.

Witnessing Andrew and Adalyn’s reunion had made some of that relief fade. They never had the easiest relationship, but I’d seen something in the way they hugged, even if awkwardly. I saw intention. Effort. And I hated myself for thinking of it, but I hadn’t even gotten that. A hug from my father.

Before this wedding took the reins of my life, Adalyn and I had talked about Andrew’s desire to make amends. She’d told me the ways he’d tried to build that bridge for her, and that as skeptical as she was, she still was open to seeing him try.

I’d been open too. But things between me and Andrew were simply… different. For one too many reasons. And it was strange to be here, sharing a table, and having to see that, although their relationship wasn’t great, it still was worlds ahead of mine.

And on Saturday, he was walking me down the aisle to the man sitting by my side.

Andrew commented something about the wine, or dessert, or the weather. I couldn’t know, really. But Cam straightened in his chair and grabbed Adalyn’s hand from where it rested on the table and brought it to his lips before releasing it and filling up her glass with water. Then he passed the carafe to Andrew with a curt nod.

I wondered when Cam and Adalyn would get married. I knew they both wanted to but weren’t in a rush. They were busy with work. The club. Would she ask me to be her maid of honor? It had taken me so long to do that. Oh God, I was really doing this. We were.

My knee started bouncing at the thought. Matthew squeezed, very gently, just like he had a dozen times tonight. It wasn’t a stop that. It was more of an I’m here, I’ve got you.

I shifted on the outrageous folding chair.

I lowered my voice. “If I asked you to meet me somewhere at midnight and bring a big pack of matches with you, what would you do?”

Matthew’s answer was quick and serious. “I’d say we better dress in black. Ash stains are a motherfucker to remove.”

This man.

He was so perfect I couldn’t even breathe. I turned to look at him, realizing my eyes were starting to well up.

Concern filled his expression. “Wrong answer?”

Far from it. I didn’t think his answer could have been more perfect. I didn’t think I’d ever loved an answer like I did that one. I didn’t think I’d ever loved—

“Rubbing alcohol,” I croaked. “If nothing works, that’ll do the trick.” I shrugged, attempting to be casual. “One too many campfires gone wrong.”

Matthew’s frown didn’t go away; if anything, he looked like he wanted to press on whatever I had just shoved aside. Thankfully, the swiftly changing weather decided to give me a hand.

Thunder echoed in the distance.

“See?” Otto Higgings said with a clap, making Grandpa Moe flinch by his side. “I told you that storm was heading this way. I’ve been waking up to aching knees for three days straight.”

“That’s because you’re old,” Grandpa Moe muttered. “And why are you here? Shouldn’t you be all the way there, on the other side of the farm? Or I don’t know, in your house?”

I rolled my eyes, although Grandpa had a point. Somehow Otto had squeezed himself there, at this table of the many we’d set. I wondered whose seat he’d stolen or why Bobbi hadn’t made a fuss over my neighbor breaking the seat arrangements she’d so carefully prepared.

“I’m two years younger than you,” Otto countered, shifting his attention back to Andrew, where it had been most of the time. “So Andrew, you were telling us about the soccer club. The franchise. How did that come about? I remember you playing ball when you were yea big, but it was football, wasn’t it?”

Cameron muttered something into Adalyn’s ear as he retrieved the pitcher of water and filled Adalyn’s glass again. She smiled.

“What do you think he just said?” Matthew murmured in mine.

A shiver raced down my arms at having his lips so close. “Soccer’s not a real word,” I said, my voice low. “Football’s the name of the bloody sport.”

Matthew’s chuckle warmed my skin. “Uncanny,” he said. “It really is like I’m sitting right next to him.” His hand drifted a little upward, to the middle of my thigh. My breath caught. “Good thing I’m not. I don’t think he’d be appreciative of my table manners.”

Something swirled in my belly. Lust. Or need. Probably both, considering the images my brain was pulling up and flashing behind my eyes. Me, on Matthew’s lap. Us, at Stu’s. His hand, up my skirt.

I closed my eyes, putting a stop to that.

“We have a safe word,” he said now, softly. “Use it.”

Use it. I turned my face toward him. Brown eyes burned with need. And something else. Give us an excuse. “Will you reward me, then?”

Matthew’s jaw clenched. That emotion in his eyes flared. “You’ll be the reward.”

I pressed my lips so I wouldn’t smile like an absolute fool, or worse, beg him to whisk me away. Now. Right now. Why hadn’t he five, ten, fifteen, an hour ago?

My sister’s words distracted me from the thought. “That’s…” Adalyn trailed off, struggling with her words. Cameron threw an arm around her shoulders. “Thank you for saying that, Dad. I appreciate it.”

“It’s nothing but the truth,” Andrew conceded with a nod. “You know I’ve been working hard at mending your trust after how things transpired with the transfer of the Flames.”

I brought my hands under the table and flexed them against my lap. Matthew wrapped them in one hand.

“You must be so proud of them both, huh?” Otto said, that them both making me look his way. Adalyn and me? “The soccer youth club they started is everything everyone’s been talking about since they cut the ribbon and had that big party. About time someone does something this special for the community.”

Adalyn and Cameron.

“Oh, absolutely,” Andrew agreed. “I’ve been pestering them about letting me donate to or fund it in any way I can, but they refuse. Can’t say I wouldn’t be the same, though. Maybe I instilled that in Adalyn. Or maybe it’s just Cameron who hasn’t come around yet. Either way,” he said, raising his wineglass in front of him. “Cheers to that.”

Purely on automatic, I retrieved one of my hands and snatched my glass, raising it like everyone else. Adalyn seemed so unsure that it made me clink my glass against hers and tell her. “So proud of you.” She beamed then, and that brought me such comfort that when I turned to Matthew, it was with a smile. “Cheers—” I started.

But he was already downing his glass.

I frowned a little, then had a sip and put the wine down.

“So how did you two meet?” Otto asked, turning his attention to me and Matthew. “I don’t think we ever covered that.”

Matthew’s chuckle was strained. “No, we haven’t covered that.” His calm tone set off a strange alarm in my head. “We were a little busy covering everything else.”

“Dinner has been so wonderful, Josie,” Adalyn rushed. “Just like everything you ever put your mind to. Seriously outstanding. I wish— We wish we’d been around to help. It’s just so… busy. With everything.”

“I know,” I told her reassuringly. “You two are under a lot of stress, and that’s completely understandable. I shouldn’t take the credit, either. Bobbi’s been in charge of most things. And Matthew’s done as much as I have.” Matthew’s thumb caressed the back of my hand. I glanced at my father. “Andrew also made all of this possible.”

Andrew cleared his throat. “Of course. I—”

“So Otto,” Matthew interjected. “Before we somehow end up magically drifting away from the topic, you were asking how Josie and I met.”

“Right,” my neighbor said. “But if—”

Grandpa smacked him in the arm. “Let the boy talk, Christ. You’ve been yapping about nonsense since you sat on that chair.”

“Thank you, Maurice,” Matthew said with a nod that Grandpa returned. He squeezed my hand. “The first time I heard about Josie was through a text.” I turned my head to look at him, finding his gaze on me. “It was from Adalyn, and it read: I think I’ve just met your soul mate.”

Something in the middle of my chest bucked.

Soul mate.

Adalyn laughed from her seat. “I’d forgotten about that.”

“I haven’t,” Matthew said, his eyes still on me. “Do you remember what I texted back, Ads?”

There was a strange pause, and then Adalyn said in a soft, baffled voice, “You asked for a picture. Of your future wife.”

All the air in my lungs left me, and I could only sit there, on that chair, staring at Matthew as his smile widened and widened, making a spot in my chest swell, taking up all the space.

“That’s right,” he confirmed. “And all I got was a laughing emoji. I was genuinely curious, and I wanted to press for more information. What did she look like? Would she laugh at my shitty jokes? What color were her eyes? How did she smell? Did I stand a chance?”

My lips parted, and I swallowed, trying to push down the emotion clogging my throat, chest, head.

Matthew’s fingers, still around my hand, still on my lap, intertwined with mine. “But most of all, I wanted to ask my very pragmatic best friend what had brought her to make such a statement.” His features sobered up. “ Soul mates isn’t a term one throws around lightly.”

“And what did you do?” Otto asked.

Matthew’s gaze dipped down to my mouth, before returning to my eyes. “Bided my time.” He swallowed. “Prayed to God.” The hand clasping mine rose, moving from under the table. Lips brushed my skin. “Believed in magic.”

My mouth parted, the pounding organ inside my rib cage demanding to be let out. I wanted to ask him if he meant that more than I’d ever wanted to ask anything in my life. I wanted his answer to change things, to make him kiss me, to push every worry out of my head and just… fill me up.

His dream should have been getting married to you.

I could swear I could hear those words, from his lips, in my head. I could see them in his eyes right now. Waiting for me.

A glass clinking aggressively sliced right through the moment. My ears caught the sound of sniffling, female. Was Adalyn crying? There was a muffled baritone voice, too. Soothing. Hushed. I sensed people moving, rearranging their seats. Surprised murmurs. But I still kept my eyes on Matthew. Just like he did on me.

Bobbi was talking. Announcing a speech that had Matthew’s face shifting, that emotion that was making the brown in his gaze warm, intense, more beautiful than ever, slipping away. A deeper voice took over in the background. Andrew’s. Matthew’s brows furrowed. I heard my name.

I turned around then. Ripped my eyes off the man by my side and let them fall on my father.

Andrew stood at the end of our table. There was silence. Everyone listened. Watched. His voice was deep, his posture commanding, his presence meant to fill the room. This farmland. To travel further than the dark slopes behind us.

“… And I couldn’t be happier to be here to celebrate their union.” Eyes a blue as light as mine found me, brows pressing down. “Here in Green Oak. In fact, it was Josephine’s heartfelt speech back at the welcome gathering a few weeks back that made me see something I had somehow missed.” Matthew’s body was suddenly there, his chest against my back. Stiff, solid, as if bracing. Preparing. For what? “I’ve missed this. Green Oak. My daughters. Everything.”

The air in my lungs seized. I was still so dazed from Matthew’s words. From what they meant. So raw. So… exposed. That I didn’t even think I could process what my father’s conveyed.

“And that is why,” Andrew continued, “I’ve decided to move back here.”

My ears rang.

There was more following that. Something about not wanting to blindside anyone. Something about the book deal and Willa Wang. I was somewhat aware of Adalyn standing up and saying something too, something about Andrew not learning from his mistakes, making this about himself, but I… I didn’t know.

God. I didn’t think I cared.

Had my father just announced such huge, personal news at a rehearsal dinner? Mine. News he’d decided without checking in with Adalyn or me. This was Green Oak. It was my home. Shouldn’t I know? Shouldn’t I…

A ripple of laughter reached me. Mine. I was laughing.

Every head turned to me. “Well, that’s just so darn bootylicious. Isn’t it?”

Everyone blinked.

Matthew was immediately pulling me up from that horrible, horrible chair. “I’d love to stay and witness how Adalyn hands Andrew his own ass, but I’d rather spend my rehearsal dinner in a more pleasurable way.” He threw the napkin that had been on his lap on the table. “And yes, that’s a nice way to say: I’m making my woman scream until she forgets her father thinks so highly of himself, he decided to make this night about him.”

There was a beat of silence. Then Adalyn snorted, Cameron laughed, and to my utter and complete shock, Grandpa Moe said, “Attaboy.”

And with that very bright green light Grandpa had just given Matthew to make me scream, my fiancé turned around and led me away from the table with a smile.