Chapter 18
The hallways were surprisingly empty, open windows casting the stone in a silver haze.
It’d rained day and night, shifting between pounding and drizzling repeatedly until everything was drenched and gray.
I hadn’t seen Wryn since he’d surprised me in the tavern and disappeared for the rest of the night, but I wasn’t exactly looking either. He’d clearly been drunk off his ass that night; otherwise, he never would have done what he did. Still, I couldn’t deny that I liked it. Liquid courage or not, Wryn’s hands on me again felt damn good.
At this point, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say when I saw him, or what I wanted him to say, but I knew one thing for certain—I needed him to say something. I could hardly hold anything in, and there he was, holding everything in.
What would he do if I bumped into him at this very moment? Would he miraculously speak to me? Or would he turn on his heel and stride away?
I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t throw the closest thing within reach if he did the latter. His avoidance of me got so under my skin, I couldn’t think rationally.
Wryn, though, he thought and considered. He mulled over his actions and traced every possible path like another one of his paintings, each varying outcome another line marked onto parchment for him to study and explore.
That was only one of the many things that made him a great king.
I started and gasped when lightning cracked over the ocean and flashed through the closest window. My heart pounding, I strolled over to rest my elbows on the windowsill and watch, wondering if these were Wryn’s storms—I hoped not. I didn’t know how his magic worked, but something in my gut told me rain wasn’t a good sign. Perhaps he was sad or angry or upset. Maybe all three.
How could rain mean any other emotion? Certainly not happy, in any case.
“Vaelor Wrynwood,” I whispered and winced slightly. “Wryn.” A loud laugh bubbled in my throat. “Wryn, the ruler of the apple orchard and many other things, it seems.”
He’d told me that once, that his name meant little ruler. When I’d had asked him what he ruled, he carefully evaded the truth—ever the careful one. The cautious one. The one who looked at every situation from every angle while I… Goddess above, I’d been oblivious.
What had he thought of me in those moments? Had he considered me naive?
The laugh died, heat creeping up my cheeks. I had been, but he hadn’t given me any reason to doubt him—not one that I knew of at the time, anyway. Trust had always been my first instinct, a foolish trait, but mine nonetheless. I didn’t want it to have to be earned when my heart told me to give it freely.
I chose to be optimistic. Everything in life was uncertain, and nothing was guaranteed—my blood parents were proof of that—so why bother with fear? The future was inevitable, our fate inked into the fabric of our souls, so why bother worrying about what was unavoidable?
Fear shrunk the vast world down to one familiar yet exhausting cage. Yes, those metal bars locked in place around a distrustful heart might prevent pain, but they also prevented excitement and love and freedom. They prevented life.
Heavy wind whipped the hair away from my face, sending a shiver down my spine, and I sucked in a breath, rubbing my hands along my arms as goosebumps pricked.
The ocean below thrashed, foaming and angry. Poking my head out farther, I glanced down to watch the waves crash on the cliff face, but instead found a ledge and…
I squinted, standing on my tip toes to push farther through the window. With my top half out, arms gripping the windowsill, and toes dangling, I tilted my head to see a massive opening in the castle wall one floor below me. Ancient columns carved of shining, black stone were the only barriers between the outside world and whatever room lay within.
My mind traced a path through the castle that would lead to that mysterious room when lightning cracked again, striking that very ledge and electrifying the air. My hair tickled and stood on end like the air itself might shock me, but it was over as fast as it began.
I jolted with a shriek, and like my worst fucking nightmare, my hands slipped. My ribs hit the stone, knocking the air from my lungs, and I gasped painfully before my entire body tipped forward. It seemed to happen in slow motion, my stomach, my hips, my legs, even my feet, and then, I was falling into open air.
Stone. Not water.
My hands covered my face, my scream ripping from my throat.
Hit the stone. Hit the ledge.
Anything but cold water.
But I hit neither.
Instead, I landed in strong arms.
I wheezed. The arms, while softer than stone, still knocked whatever breath remained from my lungs. I’m going to faint.
“Open your eyes, sun ray,” a warm and soothing voice said.
I hadn’t realized my eyes were scrunched until they flung open at his words to meet two blazing silver irises—more than blazing. Glowing?
Crackling, like lightning.
In fact, with each pulse of his irises, another bolt lit the stormy sea.
“I don’t even want to ask how that just happened,” he muttered, turning to walk inside. “Goddess, you could have killed yourself.” His feet stopped as he looked down at me, eyes wide. “You…weren’t, were you?”
“No, it was an accident,” I replied, my voice as breathless it felt. “That was you—the lightning, right? Where did you come fro…” The questions died on my tongue when he strode inside, and I took in the chamber. It was massive, the ceiling carved with hundreds of dragons and a towering fireplace in the corner made of the same black stone as the columns I’d seen from the floor above.
My jaw slack, I patted him on the chest and squirmed to be put down, but he did the opposite. His grip tightened around me, and my heart lurched into my throat when the scruff along his chin tickled my neck.
“What are you doing?” I squealed and shoved at his chest. “Put me down.”
“You smell…“ His eyes were closed as he inhaled deeply, sending a wave of chills over my skin and uncomfortable flutters through my belly. “Fuck, you smell good.”
His eyes snapped open, the heat in them nearly searing me on the spot. I gasped and jerked my head back before leaning forward again.
“What is wrong with you?” I whispered, studying his eyes as they crackled. I had never seen them do this before; he never once allowed them to shine when he was just Wryn, but they were…beautiful, mesmerizing even.
As if he realized what he was doing, he dropped me like I’d burned him. I landed on my feet, jerking a hand out to grab his arm before I fell on my ass.
“Go, Elora. Go before I—” He shook his head. “Go.”
My feet didn’t move an inch as I crossed my arms over my chest and cocked a brow. “Before you what?”
His gaze crawled up to meet mine again, blazing a trail along my skin. “You’re playing a dangerous game.”
My heart fluttered, instantly intrigued.
So it seemed I did want to push, but only because he looked to be on the edge. Of what, I wasn’t sure, but I was going to find out.
A smile curved my lips. “I like games.”
That wasn’t a lie. I did like a challenge, and right now, Wryn’s waning restraint was the most irresistible challenge I’d ever encountered. I wanted to crack it and see what poured from him. Would it be words? Fears? An explanation? Lust? His hands on my skin—or rather, his tongue?
I wasn’t sure what we were on the cusp of, but I desperately wanted to find out.
His jaw clenched along with his fists. His entire body was laced with restraint, muscles tense, his gaze averted. He took a step back, but I matched it with one of my own.
“Elora,” he warned. “Steel yourself.”
Did he…Did he really just say that?
Something rushed through my veins, straightening my spine. Anger? Shock? The need to push harder?
I stepped toward him with my hands clasped behind my back until we were close enough that his warm scent invaded my lungs—leather and sea storms.
Stifling a laugh, I knocked on the center of his chest. “Is that what you call this? Steel?”
He still didn’t look at me, his body so taut, so utterly still, I wondered if he was holding his breath.
“Why should I steel myself?” I flattened my hand on his chest, feeling his racing pulse beneath my palm. “Perhaps you should melt instead.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw—the first crack in that impenetrable exterior.
Walking around him, I lightly trailed my fingertip across his chest and over his shoulder to his back before standing on my toes to whisper, “Don’t tell me the mighty king of Ravaryn is afraid of losing to a measly human woman?”
A pained groan reverberated through his chest before he whirled around so quickly, I stumbled back a step, liquid heat pouring through my veins and pooling in my core.
He matched my step, his entire demeanor changed, no longer the tightly leashed man. No, I’d shattered his restraint, if only temporarily, and that shot a satisfying thrill through me.
His head tilted to the side as he inhaled deeply once again. “I have never in my life smelled something so delectable as your cunt dripping for me.”
All that satisfaction drained from me in an instant, and he had me on my metaphorical back foot. My cheeks flushed furiously. Hell, it felt like my entire body flushed.
He couldn’t…smell me, could he? How could he smell me?
My brows furrowed. “You can’t…”
“Oh, I can,” he purred, slinking ever closer.
“How?” I took another step back. “That’s not a Fae thing, and you’re not a shifter.”
My heart raced when he didn’t reply, and we continued this tense dance. I would take a step back for him to match, but I could feel the wind from the storm on my back, my hair whipping. A faint mist fell over us, tiny droplets clinging to his hair and skin.
We were approaching the ledge.
“How?” I asked again, the excitement from before replaced with urgency. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t normal, and the sinking in my gut told me the answer would change things—or at least me. Maybe even us.
His mouth curved into a knowing smirk. “Don’t tell me the measly human woman is afraid now.”
This wasn’t Wryn, not as I knew him. I clenched my jaw and tilted my chin up, my spine rod straight.
“Aw, don’t steel yourself now, dear, sweet Elora. Don’t you think it’s a bit too late for that?”
My heart pounded painfully, something akin to fear urging it on. Although, fear didn’t feel quite right. Not as my body heated under his gaze, the mist coating my skin the only thing keeping me from bursting into flames.
I had wanted to provoke him for this exact reaction—to reveal every dark desire he kept so carefully guarded. I wanted to see what he was hiding. I wanted the man who shoved me against the wall and devoured me like he was starved and I was his favorite meal.
My fingers laced around my throat absentmindedly, replacing where his hand had been all those months ago. His eyes darkened when they fell to my neck like he could see straight into my mind.
I wanted him to do a great many things with that devilish mouth, those hands, those fingers. My eyes slid down to his arms, his soaked sleeves rolled to his elbows to reveal the veins pulsing over muscle. My eyes locked on his hands when he clenched and unclenched his fists, and my mouth went dry.
His dark chuckle was all I heard as I took one last step back. Rain pelted my skin when my heel met with nothing. I tipped back, but he lurched forward to grab my hand and snatched me forward. I hit his chest, and he quickly wrapped an arm around my waist. When I didn’t immediately pull away, he took the opportunity and slid a finger under my chin to tilt my face to his.
Our eyes met, his so silver and bright and beautiful, and suddenly, I was tumbling through storms, rain licking my skin while wind kissed my cheeks, clouds caressing and lightning searing.
His hand slid from my chin along my jaw and wound into my hair to cup the back of my head. A light moan threatened to slip past my lips at the simple touch.
His smirk deepened into a grin because he knew.
The bastard knew my fight was gone, and I was… What was I? All I knew was I no longer cared why he could smell my desire, only that he could, because I was burning, and I needed his rain to douse the flames.
“I need…” I started, blinking the raindrops from my lashes. My long hair was soaked along with the thin Fae dress, both clinging to my form.
“Sweet sun ray.” He combed his fingers through my strands, his other hand sweeping along my waist. “Trust me when I say I know exactly what you need.”
He lowered his mouth to skim it over the column of my throat, and a moan did fall past my lips then, my eyes falling closed. He was everywhere, touching, tasting, exploring.
“More,” I breathed. “I need more.”
“More?” His smile was nearly audible. “What more could you want, sun ray?”
I gasped when he nipped at my earlobe and a hand cupped the nape of my neck, forcing my head to fall back and grant him more access.
The rain had stopped, leaving humidity and thick air to cling to our skin instead, steam rising from the ledge when a few beams of sunlight washed over us.
He kissed my neck, my jaw, my chin, my cheek. “Do you want my mouth?”
I nodded breathlessly.
He kissed my lips, and I whimpered into his mouth, earning an approving groan from him. He broke the kiss long enough to ask, “My hands?”
I nodded again, but none of that was enough. I wanted all of him, every single stiffening inch that nudged against my stomach when I arched into him.
He wanted me. That simple fact alone skyrocketed my confidence—and my pulse, thumping wildly. My hands found his waist and explored the hard muscle beneath his sopping shirt. I slid my fingers beneath the open buttons above his chest, and he shivered when my fingers brushed his skin.
“Your cock,” I whispered into his mouth.
His hands tightened, his fist knotting in my hair to rip my head back, the one on my waist gripping hard enough to bruise.
I hoped it did. I wanted his mark on my skin—proof of his shattered self-control.
His eyes blazed, angry and lacking any restraint. Excitement thrummed in my lower belly, and I squirmed, my thighs pressing together when the burn in my core worsened.
“I will not take you because of the bond,” he grated. “When I fuck you, and I will, it will be me. Nothing else. When I finally sink my cock in you, sun ray, I want to savor the sweet little cunt I’ve craved for four long years.”
My heart stopped. I went limp in his hold, my hands falling away from him, my head pulling back an inch. “Bond?” My eyes bulged. “Four years?”
I staggered back, my balance swaying and arms flinging out to the side when I met the ledge again. He attempted to steady me, but I jerked my arm away from him.
“Did you say…four years?” I wasn’t sure what emotion swirled in my chest. Anger? Not quite. Shock? Absolutely.
My cheeks heated. We’d never explicitly talked about this; he still didn’t know I saw him the year before we met. The twinge of embarrassment at watching him for hours but never revealing myself had always prevented me from telling him.
But if he was saying four… “You saw me there before, didn’t you?”
I didn’t have to clarify or elaborate. His answering smile told me he understood exactly what I meant.
He tilted his head and stepped closer to twirl his fingers through my soaked tresses. “I wanted to touch your hair so badly, to see if it’d burn my skin like the flames it resembled.”
My chest fluttered, and I swallowed hard. “Does it?”
His eyes flashed to mine. “Yes.”
My lips parted, my breath leaving me in a whoosh, only to be replaced by his scent once again.
“Yes, I’ve been burning in your fire for so very long.”
My tongue swiped along my lips, and he didn’t miss the movement. He watched intently as I pulled my lower lip between my teeth. With a sigh, I released it to say, “Three years ago, I saw you in the orchard.”
His fingers stilled in my hair. “Three years ago?”
“Yes. I saw you waiting for someone, and I just…” I dropped my gaze to his chest, unable to look him in the eyes. “I watched you.”
His hand gripped my chin and forced me to look at him.
“You…watched me?” I couldn’t read his expression, what emotion lay behind it, but he didn’t react with disgust or even disapproval like I’d thought he might.
“It looked like you were waiting for someone, and I let curiosity get the better of me. I wanted to see who you were waiting on, but then…” Dear Goddess, I wanted to bury my face in my hands, but he held firm.
“Then she never showed,” he whispered.
Unwarranted jealousy twisted in my gut, and my lips pressed into a flat line. So it was a she. “No, she never showed.”
He stared incredulously for an uncomfortably long time. My eyes flitted around us, to everything but his intense stare.
Then he laughed.
The sound grated my nerves. I yanked my jaw from his hand and moved to stalk around him, but he caught me by the waist and swiveled me back to him before I could take another breath, leaving us chest to chest as he clicked his tongue.
“Don’t pull away from me just yet, sun ray.”
“Don’t laugh at me,” I gritted out, narrowing my eyes at him.
He shook his head, another faint laugh leaving him.
“So help me, Wryn, if you don’t stop laughing, I’m going to throw you off this damned cliff.” I jerked my hand out and pointed a finger to the edge, merely a few feet away.
When I looked to him, though, truly looked, my anger simmered and dissipated. I hadn’t seen his smile so simple and genuine since he was just Wryn, since that night of the ball. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed seeing it until now.
I wanted to go back so badly, back to the easy friendship and laughs and lack of expectations. The letters and yearly meetings allowed him to open up for some reason like the miles between us dampened his fear.
I hadn’t realized how much I missed him—this him, the one who wasn’t fighting like my presence was the root cause of all his problems.
His hand found my cheek again, his touch gentle and warm. I leaned into it and closed my eyes as my soul screamed for my friend. I missed him so damned badly, and he hadn’t been that person in so long. Not in six long months.
“I was waiting for you,” he whispered.
My eyes snapped open. “What?”
“I’d seen you there the year before, four years ago now. I went back to see you.” His laugh started again, bubbling and growing. “I was waiting for you, and you watched me from across the orchard.”
My hand flew to my mouth when my laugh joined his, but my eyes burned, my throat tight. “What?”
Both of his palms rested on my cheeks as we laughed together, hot tears rolling down. He wiped them away with his thumbs and pressed a light kiss to my lips—tender in a way he’d never been.
“I miss you,” I mumbled against his mouth, more tears falling. I slowly crumbled in his hold, and he wrapped a sturdy arm around my waist when my knees trembled.
“I miss you, too,” he replied.
I couldn’t stop the next words as they poured from the crack in my heart. “If you don’t want me, then at least be my friend again. You were my best friend once, and I miss that person. The ignoring and avoiding and lying and?—”
“Stop.” His smile faltered, his chest heaving with a deep exhale. His touch fell away when he took a step back.
Please. I lifted a hand toward him. Please don’t run again.
But I didn’t want him to stay because I wanted him to. I wanted him to stay because he couldn’t bear to leave, and this was clearly not that, so I dropped my arm, letting it hang limply at my side.
Clouds thickened again, blotting out whatever sunlight had managed to break through. Rain drizzled, but I didn’t move. This was the closest I would get to him—his soft touch of rain, even if it was in his own sadness.
“I’ll always be your friend, Elora, but I do want you, and that’s the problem.”
He strode through the open chamber with his back to me, and I let him go, but not before shouting over the rain, “If you ever decide to be brave…be brave with me.”
He stumbled a step and paused, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, but he didn’t turn.
I didn’t think he would.
His storms were all that remained when he left me alone on the ledge, but we’d made progress, and that was all I could let myself focus on.
He does want me.I’d known that, and I assumed he knew too, regardless of his endless denial, but now it was out there. He’d said it.
I inhaled slowly and forced a smile on my face, despite the ache in my chest and burning eyes.
One day, I would watch him walk away for the last time. I just desperately hoped that when that day came, it was because he chose to stay and not because he never returned.