33. Zander
If I’d known that was the last time I was ever going to see her, would I have done anything differently?
My chest hurts just thinking about it.
“Let’s go play some ball at the park.” Tyrell grabs a football. “I need to shake off this shit.”
I’m all for that! Gotta get Sienna out of my mind before it crushes me. I always hate it when I get caught in a moment thinking about our miserable end. It was the best sex we’d ever had, and I thought I was cool with it being the last… I just hadn’t known how much I’d miss her when I went away to college.
I tried to forget her. Tried to spread my wings and fly, but there were so many moments I wanted to share with her. She stayed with me, clung to my brain, my heart, my soul. And my need for her wouldn’t let up no matter what I tried.
Which is why, during my three-day Christmas break, I came back for her. Screwing waiting until the end of the season. I couldn’t keep going without her.
My insides start to burn, an acidic taste filling my mouth as I try not to relive the worst holiday of my life.
Shit. Don’t go there, man. Just forget it. Forget her!
“Let’s go, bro.” Grady slaps my leg, forcing me up.
We drag Carson’s ass off the couch as well, ignoring his grumbling complaints as we walk out into the sunshine and head for the closest park. It’s two blocks down and isn’t part of Nolan University’s campus. It’s a public area with a playground and water fountain. The big green field is lined with trees, and it’s the perfect place to throw a ball around.
I catch it when Tyrell fires it my way, then run back two paces, launching a perfect spiral through the air. Grady sprints down the field, plucking the ball out of the air and diving around Carson, who tries to tackle him. Slamming the ball onto the ground, he lets out a loud whoop, doing a backflip, then getting pushed off his feet by Carson, who gathers the ball and starts sprinting.
Wily grabs him before he can get too far, lifting him off his feet in a quick fireman’s hold before spinning him around while he yells obscenities that make us all laugh.
I share a smile with Tyrell, who rolls his eyes and starts jogging over to break up any potential fight. Carson’s got a quick-fire temper that can be fucking lethal if not monitored. And Tyrell seems to know how to calm the guy down.
Wily throws the guy off his back, and Carson lands with an “Oomph” before shooting to his feet and jumping on Wily, putting him in a quick choke hold in order to wrestle the ball out of his hands. It bounces wildly, and they scramble after it while I stand there grinning and wishing football could be as untamed as what we’re doing right now. There’s nothing like scrapping for a ball. Coach never lets us do it for fear of injuries, but he isn’t here right now.
Carson snatches the ball and starts running. He’s a hell of a lot faster than Wily, and the wide receiver leaves the lineman in his dust.
“Carson!” I shout, raising my hands and trying to warn him about the bullet coming up behind him.
Grady’s the fastest guy on the team, and Carson doesn’t sense his approach quick enough. With a little yell, he hurls the ball my way, but the pass is made reckless by Grady’s side tackle. The ball ends up arcing straight over my head and bouncing into the playground behind me.
I shake my head as the two guys start to tussle and figure Tyrell can take this one while I retrieve the ball. Running into the playground, I head for the sand pit, where a little girl with blonde ringlets is gathering up the ball.
Aw, cutie .
I crouch down with a smile, ready to get the ball back, when the air is knocked clean from my lungs. My lips part as I watch this blonde cherub totter toward me. Holy shit. She looks exactly like Monica did as a toddler. Photos of my older sister as a baby flash through my head, and I can’t believe the similarities. It’s freaky.
The little girl stops a few feet away from me and holds up the ball. “Bawl.”
I nod and can’t help grinning at her. “That’s right. Football.”
“Foo-bawl.” Her sweet little voice pitches with excitement, and she laughs.
“Do you want to throw it to me?” I beckon with my fingers, then glance around, wondering where this little girl’s parents are.
She giggles again, then throws the ball with a little grunt, raising her hands in the air with a cheer when it lands a foot away from me before dribbling to a stop by my feet.
“Good job, kid.” I wink at her, then laugh when she claps her hands.
Far out. That smile is just like Monica’s.
This is seriously freaking me out.
“Zan-Man, let’s go!” Wily calls me, holding up his hands to catch the ball. I fire it through the air, then jog back to the edge of the field, turning one more time to look at the little girl. She’s crouching down in the sand, gathering handfuls and creating a little mountain.
For reasons I can’t even explain, I find myself watching her until my friends are shouting at me again.
“Dude, what’s up?” Grady calls across the grass. “Let’s go, brother.”
“Just give me a sec!” I hold up my finger, pulling out my phone and calling my sister while this little girl is still within sight.
“’Sup, lil bro?”
“Do you have a daughter I don’t know about?”
“Ew, no. Why would I ever have kids?” Her reaction makes me laugh, and I shake my head.
My sister has taken independent woman to the next level. She’s in a relationship now, but who knows if it’ll last. She likes to go intense and hard… for short bursts of time. That just seems to be her style. I get why she’d never want to bring kids into that equation.
“Why are you calling to ask me stupid questions? You know I’m at work, right?”
“It’s Sunday.”
“I have a big case.”
“Oh, well, sorry. I just…” Shaking my head yet again, I gaze at the little girl and let out a breathy laugh. “You must have a doppelg?nger in Nolan, sis, because I am staring at a kid who looks just like you when you were two. You know that picture on Dad’s office desk?”
“The one of me playing on the beach in that frilly abomination Mom insisted on dressing me in?”
I laugh. “That’s the one. Well, this little girl right here isn’t in frills, but man… she looks just like you. It’s freaking me out.”
Monica snorts. “Well, her mother must be very beautiful, then.”
“And look just like you.” I start to search the playground for her, but there are so many parents around. A group of moms is standing by the sand pit, watching their kids and talking together. My eyes skim across them, but I don’t see any Monica replicas. And the rest of the playground seems clear too. Darting my gaze back to the girl, I shake my head again. “It’s seriously incredible.”
“You’re still staring at her, aren’t you?”
“I can’t help it.”
“Yeah, well, you might want to stop in case her big bad daddy is there and wants to pound on some freaky-ass guy who’s staring at his kid.”
“Yeah, good point.” I turn my back to the playground. “Not the pounding shit, because I can hold my own.” I can practically hear her eyes rolling. “But I don’t want to be putting creeper vibes out there.”
“Good boy.”
I grin. “Glad you didn’t get knocked up without me knowing.”
“I do my best. Love you, bro.”
“Love you.” I hang up and look over my shoulder again… in time to miss the pass coming right at me. It fires straight past my head and rolls toward the playground again.
“Seriously, Zan! Come on, man.” Carson scowls at me. “Get your head in the game.”
I raise my hand in apology and run back to the playground, scooping up the ball and crouching down to grin at the girl again.
She smiles back at me, her little nose wrinkling in a way that’s all too familiar.
My stomach hitches.
“Zoey!” a woman calls, and the girl turns, her blonde curls bobbing as she waves.
“Mommy!”
“Hey, baby girl! Time to go!” Her mother’s voice brightens as she bustles over, pushing a stroller and hitching a bag on her shoulder. Quickly sending a text, she puts the phone away and then glances across at her daughter, freezing when she notices me.
Holy shit.
My lips part, my heart catapulting into my throat as I jolt to my feet and gape at a gorgeous blonde with bright blue eyes.
She gapes right back at me, and then my world starts to splinter when the little girl yells, “Mommy!” again and runs over to her.
Mommy?
Fuck no.
What?
My ears start ringing as I watch the girl I fell in love with in high school scoop her daughter into her arms. She can’t take her eyes off me, and I wish I had something intelligent to say, but all I can whisper is “Sparks.”
She shakes her head, clutching her daughter and choking out, “Nope!” before snatching the stroller handle and running out of the playground like she’s just seen a ghost.
Zander and Sienna’s second-chance romance continues in THE FOREVER PLAY.
Get ready for emotional arguments, passionate kisses and daddy-daughter moments that will melt your heart.