The Flavor of Us (Beta Accepted)

3. TATI

Chapter three

TATI

My head’s still spinning from everything—my god babies, the love pouring out of that hospital room, and the way Carleen looked at me when she said she wasn’t letting me go this time. Those words haven’t stopped replaying in my head, looping over and over like a song stuck on repeat.

I want that kind of forever—the way Macon looks at Ellie like she’s the sun and the stars and every damn thing in between. The way Savin clings to Ellie even in his sleep, like she’s the only thing tethering him to the earth. It’s raw, unfiltered love. The kind that wraps itself around your ribs and makes it hard to breathe. The kind I want with Carleen.

The emotions sit heavy in my chest as we walk out to the parking lot, side by side, but not touching. The night air is cool, sharp against my cheeks, and the distant hum of the city surrounds us. I glance at her out of the corner of my eye and she’s got her hands stuffed into her coat pockets, her jaw tight like she’s thinking too hard about something. Probably about us. Probably about me .

The silence stretches out between us and I hate it. I hate that we’ve spent so long stuck in this purgatory—her pulling away, me pretending it didn’t hurt, both of us too damn scared to just talk about it.

I remember those late nights at her apartment, curled up on her couch with some trashy reality TV show playing in the background. We’d share inside jokes, laugh until our sides hurt, and drink wine until our words slurred together. I remember falling asleep next to her, the warmth of her body just inches away, and thinking, This could be enough. This could be everything.

And then she pulled away.

One day, she was there—solid and warm and Carleen —and the next, she wasn’t. She shut me out, left me stranded in the middle of something I couldn’t name, and I didn’t know how to climb my way back.

But then she texted me. A simple, hesitant hey that cracked my chest open all over again. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep me from completely unraveling.

My fingers fumble with my keys as I stare down at the worn leather keychain, my stomach twisting itself into knots. I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything.

“Goodnight, Carleen,” I murmur, my voice softer than I intend it to be. I move to open my car door, but her voice stops me.

“Tati.”

Slowly, I turn around to face her. She’s standing there under the dim yellow glow of the parking lot lights. Her hands are out of her pockets now, one reaching up to gently cup my face. Her thumb brushes over my cheekbone, her touch soft. Like she’s scared I’ll shatter if she presses too hard.

“You’re thinking too loud again,” she murmurs, her lips quirking into the faintest smile.

I let out a breathy laugh, but it’s shaky. “Can you blame me?”

“No,” she says softly, her thumb still tracing slow, careful circles on my cheek. “I can’t.”

There’s something about the way she’s looking at me right now—her eyes warm and vulnerable, all her usual sharp edges softened—that makes me feel like I’m standing on the edge of something huge. Something that could either break me or rebuild me entirely.

Carleen’s lips twitch into a teasing smirk and her eyes flicker down to my mouth before meeting mine again. “You know… I still have that bedroom vacancy if you want it. Come home with me.”

My brain short-circuits. Like, fully shuts down. Did Carleen just… did she just say that? Come home with me. The words are still ringing in my ears, bouncing around in my skull, and I can’t process them fast enough.

My eyes go wide and I’m pretty sure I look like a fish gasping for air. Carleen notices—of course, she notices—and she laughs, this deep, throaty sound that makes my stomach do a full gymnastic routine.

“Don’t look so surprised,” she says, her brown eyes twinkling in the dim light of the parking lot. “But I mean it, Tati. I still need to go slow—I need to feel like we’re building this the right way. But the thought of having you anywhere other than beside me? It hurts to think about.”

My heart. My poor, fragile, overworked heart. It clenches so hard in my chest I almost double over. How does she do that? How does she say things like that so easily, so honestly?

“So…” I manage to stammer out, my voice embarrassingly high-pitched, “does this mean we’re, like… dating? Or whatever?”

Carleen’s lips curl into that smirk—the one that’s equal parts amused and absolutely wrecking my life. “Yeah, Tati. We’re dating. Or whatever.”

And just like that, I’m grinning so wide my face hurts. I must look like a complete maniac because Carleen laughs again, softer this time, and reaches out to tuck a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.

“Get in your car, sunshine,” she says, her voice dipping low in a way that makes my knees weak. “Follow me home.”

I nod so fast I’m pretty sure I give myself whiplash. “Yep. Yes. Absolutely. Following. Right behind you.”

I practically fling myself into my car, my hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turn white. My reflection stares back at me in the rearview mirror, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, lips pressed into a shaky smile. “Okay, Tati,” I whisper to myself, sucking in a sharp breath. “Calm the hell down. You’re going home with her. Her . But don’t freak her out. Don’t make it weird. Don’t—oh my goddess, we’re dating .”

I let out a squeaky laugh that absolutely no one needed to hear and then I start the engine. Carleen’s tail lights glow in front of me as she pulls out of the parking lot and I follow her like she’s leading me to the gates of heaven. Which, honestly, might not be far off.

My car is still packed with all my stuff. Suitcases, boxes, duffel bags stuffed to the brim with every piece of my life I could fit before I came rushing back to the city. I hadn’t even gone home yet—I’d barely made it past the city limits before Carleen’s text pulled me straight to the hospital.

I take a deep breath as we turn down a familiar street. I know the way to her apartment like the back of my hand. Ellie was my best friend after all. But more recently? Too many late nights, too many movie marathons, too many mornings where I left before she woke up because I couldn’t handle how much I wanted this—wanted her —and how afraid I was she didn’t want the same.

But she does. She said it. She said it .

The soft rumble of my car’s engine fades as I pull into the parking spot. I shift into park and lean back against the seat, staring up at the large building in front of me. Carleen’s building. I’ve been here a hundred times before, but tonight… it feels different. Heavier. Like every brick and window is staring down at me, judging whether I’m worthy enough to walk through those doors again.

Carleen stops by my window but I wave her inside, silently telling her I’ll be up in a minute because, fuck, I kind of need one. Now that I’ve come to my senses, I’ve realized that everything I could absolutely want has fallen into my lap and I have no plans on how to move forward.

Typical.

Needing yet another voice to kick my ass into gear, I grab my phone, my thumb hovering over my mom’s contact. I need to talk to her. I need someone to tell me I’m not about to crash and burn by diving headfirst into this thing with Carleen. With a deep breath, I press call and bring the phone to my ear.

She picks up on the second ring.

“Tati, baby! You made it back safe?” Her voice is warm and honey-sweet, like a hug through the phone. She’s always been my safe space, the one person in my life who would never judge me regardless of anything I did or wanted.

“Yeah, Mama. I’m good. I’m parked outside Carleen’s place right now.” My voice wobbles slightly on her name and I curse myself internally.

There’s a pause, and then, “Oh, sweetheart. You’re there. There-there ?”

I laugh softly despite the knot in my stomach. “Yeah. There-there. ”

The line goes quiet for a second before my mom’s voice returns, softer now. “I’m so proud of you, Tati. I know how much this means to you. You’ve been carrying this for so long and seeing you take this leap…” She trails off, her voice thick with emotion. “It’s brave, baby. And I know Carleen—she’s a good woman. She’ll see how lucky she is to have you.”

My mother was there through every step of this fragile relationship—when it was blooming, when it broke, when it restarted, and now. She held me through tears and the confusing feelings and talked me out of shutting Carleen out of my life forever. Ellie’s been there too, both of them coaxing me back until I realized that running away never solves anything.

I swallow a sob threatening to make its way out into the night air but my mother catches on. “What’s wrong, Tati? What are you afraid of?”

It’s the one secret I’ve been holding—a secret that only my parents know. My father found out by accident but he didn’t even blink; just said he loved me and we’ve never mentioned it since. However, I can see that he cares, that he’s still providing for me without us ever discussing it.

I let out a shaky breath, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’m scared that I’m not what she wants. That… the things I want, the things I like —they’re not what an Alpha expects from a Beta. They never have been. And when she realizes that, she’s going to look at me differently. And I can’t handle that, Mom. Not from her.” I’m not sure why I thought rushing into this was the right thing.

If Carleen sees my nest, she’s going to freak. Carleen doesn’t want an Omega—and I’m not one—but all the cute shit that Omegas enjoy? I want that. I want all of it. I can do without the heats and the absolute submission to Alphas but everything else? Fuck, I’ve never craved something so much in my entire life aside from Carleen.

My mom hums softly through the earpiece. “You’ve always been different, Tati. Even when you were little, you had your own way of seeing the world. Your Omega friends might have rubbed off on you a little, but that doesn’t make you any less of who you are. You’re still you , baby. And Carleen? She’s not like anyone else. I think you know that already.”

I chew on my bottom lip, staring up at the glowing windows of Carleen’s apartment. “But what if she doesn’t want that side of me? What if it’s… too much? Or not enough?”

“Tati,” my mom says firmly, her voice cutting through my spiral of doubt. “You have to talk to her. Tell her. Be honest. If Carleen is the woman you think she is, she’s not going to judge you for being soft, or tender, or for liking the things that make you feel good and safe. You’ve been hiding that part of yourself for too long. Don’t hide it from her.”

The problem is that no Alpha I’ve ever been with has understood that. They’ve looked at me like I’m broken, like there’s something wrong with me for wanting those things. And Carleen? She’s not just any Alpha. She’s Carleen . And if she looks at me like that, it’ll ruin me.

But my mother is right. I can’t go into this hiding parts of myself. Carleen deserves the full truth and I deserve to be seen for who I am.

I take one last steadying breath before grabbing my keys and stepping out of the car. The cool night air bites at my skin, but I barely notice as I grab as many things as I can carry and walk towards the building. By the time I reach Carleen’s door, I pause. This is it. The moment where everything either falls apart or falls into place.

The door swings open, my Alpha standing there like a breath of fresh air. Goddess, it feels like home.

I’ll tell her everything tomorrow.