7. CARLEEN
Chapter seven
CARLEEN
The sound starts low, like an annoying hum in the back of my mind, and then grows louder. Repetitive. Annoying. And it’s starting to piss me off.
It drags me out of the best sleep I’ve had in months. Maybe even years. My bed is still warm and the faint smell of Tati lingers in the air—sweet melon and something sharp and uniquely her. But the infernal beep-beep-beep keeps slicing through the peace.
I crack one eye open.
It’s still dark outside. The faint glow from the hallway nightlight spills across my bedroom floor and I swear to the goddess herself if that alarm goes off one more time—
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I groan, throwing myself from the bed, and march down the hallway. It dawns on me a little too late that I’m only wearing the large shirt I wear to bed but Tati has seen worse, I’m sure. When I reach Tati’s door, I don’t knock. Oh no, I’m way past knocking. I twist the knob and push it open, fully prepared to storm in and shake her awake or at least chuck the offending alarm clock out the window.
But I stop dead in my tracks because… what the hell am I looking at?
The alarm is still screaming from somewhere in the room, but it barely registers because Tati is in the closet.
No. Scratch that. Tati is nesting in the closet.
She’s curled up in the softest, fluffiest pile of pillows and blankets I have ever seen. There’s even a sweatshirt in the mix— my sweatshirt, to be precise, one I’ve been looking for—tucked under her cheek like a makeshift pillow. Her hair is spread out around her face in a dark halo, her brows slightly furrowed even in sleep.
And she’s so… soft .
If Tati didn’t have such a sharp tongue, a bold personality, and the kind of fierce energy that could cut glass, I would swear— swear —she was an Omega. I blink, trying to process what I’m seeing. Because this? This was not on my bingo card for the day.
The alarm shrieks again and I quickly step over to the foot of her nest and dismiss the alarm on her phone before it can ring again. But the sudden silence must wake her because Tati stirs, her lashes fluttering as her hazel eyes peek open. For a split second, she looks so peaceful, so soft and warm and… goddess, mine.
But then she freezes.
Her eyes snap fully open, locking onto me standing over her little nest with what I’m sure is the most bewildered expression ever to cross my face. Her face loses all color as her hands start waving wildly in the air. “Oh my goddess—Carleen—Alpha—wait—” She bolts upright, only to immediately smack her head against the low-hanging shelf above her. “ Ow! ” she yelps, clutching her head with both hands.
“Tati!” I rush forward, instinct taking over as I kneel in front of her, grabbing her hands gently to move them and check her head. “Are you okay? Did you hit it hard?”
Her hazel eyes are wide—panicked, humiliated —as she shakes her head furiously. “I’m fine! I’m fine! Oh goddess, I can explain!” She tries to stand, but we’re both cramped in her little closet nest now, and she ends up tangled in one of her throw blankets, nearly toppling over.
I can’t help it. I snort.
And then I laugh.
Like, full-on laugh. The kind that bubbles up from deep in your chest and spills out before you can stop it.
Tati freezes, her cheeks turning the brightest shade of pink I’ve ever seen and she looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Carleen!” she hisses. “Stop laughing! This is—this is serious!”
I try to compose myself, holding up one hand in surrender as I wipe at my eyes with the other. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry, sunshine. It’s just… what is happening right now? Why are you in a nest in your closet?”
Her lips press into a thin line and she crosses her arms over her chest, which—adorably—just makes her look smaller in the middle of all those pillows and blankets. “I… I don’t know!” she bursts out finally. “It’s just—sometimes I like it, okay? I like being surrounded by soft things and cozy stuff and… it feels safe. And I know it’s not very Beta-like and it’s kind of weird, and I was going to tell you, but—”
I lean forward, cupping her face gently in both hands, her words cutting off instantly as her eyes meet mine. “Hey,” I muse, my thumbs brushing against her cheeks. “Breathe, Tati. It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“I just… I didn’t want you to think it was weird,” she whispers.
I smile, pressing my forehead lightly against hers. “Sunshine, I don’t think it’s weird. I think it’s you. And that makes it perfect.”
She closes her eyes for a second, letting out a shaky breath, and I can feel some of the tension leave her shoulders. “Okay,” she murmurs.
I pull back slightly, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “But if you ever startle me awake at six in the morning with five alarms again, I might have to bury your phone in the backyard.”
She hums a yes as I pull her to her feet and out of her nest. I don’t know much about Omegas because they were always too soft and pliant for me. Tati’s always been the perfect combination of soft and fierce, which is why this development isn’t as surprising as maybe it should be.
Tati tucks her head into my chest and I wrap my arms around her, my purr starting up to calm her. She’s frazzled—no doubt—and even for a non-Omega, this is a pretty big secret.
“I’ve never told anyone,” she mumbles into my shirt. “Not even Ellie. I just… I’m not an Omega. I just grew up around them and everything was so fluffy and I wanted it. People think it’s weird and I’m sorry—”
Her scent sours and I realize how much alike we are. We’ve both been guarding our hearts for entirely different reasons but in the end, we’re both scared to get hurt. And we didn’t have to be. I lead her to the bed, not wanting to encroach on her nest. Tati immediately curls into my side, her legs propped up beneath her. I’m not even sure she realizes how easily she leans into me but I’m not going to point it out.
“Tati, you said you wanted us to be honest with each other and I think that’s going to be hard for the both of us. However, I can’t help if you don’t tell me what you need.” There’s a million scenarios running through my head, ones that involve treating Tati like an Omega or fantasies of what she wants both in and out of the bedroom. My breath catches as I try to calm my thoughts and focus only on Tati.
She tucks herself farther into my chest, almost as if she doesn’t want me to see her face. “It’s just not something I talk about. Mom and Dad know but… Betas aren’t supposed to be like this. We’re supposed to be balanced, somewhere in the middle. But sometimes, Carleen, I just crave it. That feeling of being safe, of being tucked away somewhere warm and soft, where nothing can touch me.”
Her fingers tighten together in her lap and I catch the faintest tremor in her voice when she continues.
“I like being taken care of sometimes. I like feeling cherished, like someone’s looking out for me. And the nest—it’s not… it’s not something I do all the time, but sometimes I just need it. It makes me feel calm. Like the world isn’t so loud for a little while.”
I can’t help the soft chuckle that rumbles up from my chest. Not because it’s funny, but because she’s so damn adorable when she’s vulnerable like this. I lean down, pressing a feather-light kiss to her cheek, letting my lips linger there for just a second longer than necessary.
“Keep going, sunshine,” I murmur against her skin.
She shakes her head almost immediately, her short hair swaying slightly as she does. “That’s it. That’s all of it.”
But her scent betrays her. That rich, sweet melon note thickens in the air, curling around me and I know she’s holding back. I lean back just enough to catch her eyes, one brow lifting in challenge as I smirk. “Tati…”
She avoids my gaze, lips pressed into a stubborn little line, but the faint flush creeping up her neck gives her away.
“You’re lying,” I tease, my voice dipping lower, softer. “Come on, sunshine. Keep going. Tell me the rest.”
She lets out a frustrated little growl, her brows pinching together. “Carleen, it’s embarrassing! ”
“Tati, do you want to know what’s actually embarrassing? Thinking for one second that you wouldn’t want me because of my sexual preferences. Not once did you ever give me any inkling that you wouldn’t accept me. Even if I had never actually laid it all out, you kept telling me you’d love me regardless and I still pushed you away. That’s embarrassing.”
She freezes, her hazel eyes snapping up to meet mine, her lips parting slightly as if she wants to argue. But she doesn’t. She just stares at me, wide-eyed and soft and so very Tati . Her lips twitch and she swallows hard, her cheeks burning a deep pink before letting out a sharp exhale. “I don’t want to be an Omega, Carleen. I don’t. But… sometimes I want the things they have. The way some Alphas take care of them. The way they get to let go, to just— not think. ”
Her voice cracks slightly, but she powers through, her eyes locked on mine.
“I have to think all the time, Carleen. At work, at home, everywhere. I’m always on, always in control, always planning and fixing and making sure everything’s okay. But sometimes… sometimes I just want someone else to take over. Just for a little while.” She sucks in a shaky breath and looks away, her voice softer now. “It’s stupid, I know.”
That wasn’t exactly where I thought this conversation was going but I can see it. It makes so much sense. “It’s not stupid, though, Tati. There’s no one right way to be an Alpha, Beta, or an Omega. Hell, I’m an Alpha that doesn’t want an Omega. What would that make me?” She loosens up against my side as she sits back a little to meet my gaze. “Tati, we can be any which way we want to be. And if that means you need a little more love and attention, then I’ll be right here to give it.” Her scent sweetens just a little and I decide to push, praying that I’m going down the right path. “And if you need an Alpha or two to take over when it’s just us so that you don’t have to think, I’ll be glad to be part of that too.”
And there it is, Tati hiding her face in my shoulder again.
“Fuck, you make it sound so… so dirty ,” she mumbles into my shirt, one of her hands resting on my thigh. My skin heats beneath her touch, thoughts of Tati beneath me taking over my rational thoughts. Soon , I tell myself. I’ve been fighting my feelings for so fucking long that I think my body is more ready than my head is.
“Tati, is that not what you want?” I push a little more, getting a glimpse of the woman I’ve fallen for. “Are you telling me that you wouldn’t want an Alpha telling you what to do, making sure you’re well cared for?” And this is why she’d thrive under more than one Alpha because while I’m busying myself with new recipes and catering projects, she could be wholly taken care of by another giving her everything she needs.
A pang of loneliness hits me square in the chest but I brush it off and focus on my Beta. She’s all that matters right now. She’s all that will ever matter. I hold her a little tighter and start thinking of all the things I can do to start making her feel safe and truly loved.