The Flavor of Us (Beta Accepted)

18. TATI

Chapter eighteen

TATI

The drive home is silent. Not the comfortable kind of silence, either—the kind that’s heavy and thick, where every breath feels too loud and every creak of the car feels like an accusation.

I’m curled up in Carleen’s lap, my body still trembling slightly despite how tightly her arms are wrapped around me. Her scent wraps around me, chasing away the sour edge of fear still clinging to me. She’s running her nose along my cheek, inhaling deeply every few seconds like she’s trying to memorize my scent, like she’s making sure it’s me —safe, whole, hers .

Her lips brush over my temple every now and then, soft, featherlight, but she doesn’t say anything. I’m grateful for that. I don’t think I could handle words right now.

In the front seat, Ryder drives with his usual calm precision, but his knuckles are white against the steering wheel, and his sharp blue eyes flick to the rearview mirror every few seconds, landing on me and Carleen.

Ashton is slouched in the passenger seat, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, his jaw clenched so hard I can see the sharp edge of it standing out against his skin. He hasn’t said a word since we got in the car, and the anger practically radiating off him feels like static electricity prickling against my skin.

I close my eyes and bury my face against Carleen’s chest, my breath stuttering as I try to calm myself down.

I’m fine .

I keep repeating it in my head, over and over. I’m fine. I’m safe. I’m with them.

But the memory of that guy’s hand wrapped around my wrist, the way his fingers dug into my skin, the way his eyes looked at me… it’s still there, stuck in the back of my mind like a splinter I can’t get out. In all the time I’ve worked at Euphoria, I’ve never been grabbed so tightly I couldn’t escape.

Carleen hums softly, her Alpha purr vibrating through her chest and into me. Her hand runs slowly up and down my back, her other arm wrapped firmly around my waist. “You’re safe, sunshine,” she murmurs softly into my ear. “I’ve got you. We’ve got you.”

Carleen doesn’t let me go, even when the car comes to a stop, as she steps out of the car with me still wrapped in her arms. I clutch at her shirt, my fingers tangled in the fabric as she carries me up the stairs and into the apartment. The second we’re inside, the door clicks shut behind Ryder, and Carleen adjusts me slightly in her arms so she can look at me. Her brown eyes search mine, sharp and focused, like she’s cataloging every bruise, every scratch, every tiny thing that might be wrong with me. “Where do you want to be, Tati?” she asks softly, her voice low but steady.

The question hits me harder than I expect it to.

I should have an answer. I should know. But the weight of the night is still pressing down on me and the fear—the helplessness—it’s still clinging to me like cobwebs I can’t shake off. I open my mouth, but no words come out.

Carleen’s eyes soften, her grip on me tightening just slightly. “Tati…” A soft sigh falls from her lips, her brows knitting together as she tries again. “Alright, first things first—are you okay, Tati?”

I nod. It’s a small nod, hesitant, but it’s honest.

Carleen’s lips twitch into something soft, almost a smile, as she brushes her thumb along my cheek again. “Good. That’s good, sweetheart.” Her voice feels like a balm to my frayed nerves, something grounding amidst the swirling storm in my head. She shifts slightly, setting me on my feet. “Now, tell me—where do you want to be?”

That question hits harder and my chest tightens again. I look down at my hands, tears blurring my vision. This time I do know the answer but it’s not something Ashton or Ryder know about it. “M-my nest,” I whisper, barely able to get the words out.

Carleen nods, her fingers briefly brushing through my hair. “Okay, your nest. We can do that.” But then she asks the real question, the one I’ve been dreading. “And who do you want with you, sweetheart?”

My stomach twists into knots. Because that feels… selfish. How am I supposed to pick? How am I supposed to choose when each of them feels like a lifeline right now?

My lower lip trembles as my eyes dart between Carleen, Ashton, and Ryder, who’s standing silently near the door. I open my mouth, close it again, and then murmur so softly I’m not sure they’ll hear me, “Can… can I be selfish?”

Carleen’s face softens in a way I’ve rarely seen. Her brown eyes shine, her lips part slightly as if she wasn’t expecting that. “Oh, Tati,” she breathes, leaning closer until her forehead nearly touches mine. “Of course you can. You can be as selfish as you need to be right now. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

I let out a shaky breath, the tight knot in my chest loosening just enough. My voice wobbles as I finally say, “I… I want all of you.”

The silence that follows isn’t heavy—it’s warm. It wraps around me like a cocoon as Carleen nods slowly, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Alright,” she whispers. “All of us, then.”

Ashton’s grin is soft, his usual playful smirk replaced by something gentler, something warmer. “Whatever you need, little doe. We’re here.”