The Florentine Quilt

31. Theodora

31

THEODORA

FLORENCE

BLUE LACE AGATE: Calming, counteracts fear of judgement, repressed feelings, anger

O n the night of the exhibition, I spot Tristan at an alfresco table of the osteria near my hotel. He looks different, vulnerable. I think of calling him over, but instead sit and stare after him as he pays the bill and walks away.

‘ Theo . Did you hear me?’ Luke touches my hand. The waiter beside us looks from one to the other.

I didn’t think Luke was serious about coming here. But Rosie’s social media feed has been filled with details about the exhibition. His FOMO must have been in overdrive.

He arrived in Florence this morning, telling me how keen he is to support me.

‘ I said, what are you having? Everything looks delicious. I’m starving.’

I scan the menu quickly and order the first thing I see— I’m not hungry. My nerves rage like a battle inside me.

‘ You’re quiet, Theo . I bet you’re nervous.’

‘ I am,’ I answer, glad to use opening night as an excuse. I’m uncomfortable about introducing Luke to my colleagues and the friends I’ve made here. To Tristan . ‘ Why are you here?’ I reach for my water, watching his face. He seems uneasy. ‘ Tell me the truth.’

‘ I’m flying to Hong Kong on business. And while the client’s paying is as good a time as any for a side visit, don’t you think? Great ring, by the way,’ he deflects with a schoolboy grin and reaches for my hand.

I glance at the malachite and drag my hand from his.

‘ I wanted to meet with you before you head home. The thing is, if it doesn’t work out—because let’s face it, Theo , these kind of do-gooder projects often don’t take off—then there’s a bit to lose….’

He’s as full of confidence as always. My gut clenches. What is he up to?

‘ So , I had an idea for your gran’s.’ His grin is wide. ‘ The land’s worth heaps now. You can set yourself up if you sell it,’ he fidgets, replacing his napkin over his lap, ‘and then buy something hip and modern…’

‘ What are you talking about?’ I must have heard incorrectly. ‘ It’s my home. I’d never sell Clarence? —’

‘ Are you sure it’s right for you, though?’ Luke sits back in his chair and picks at his nails. ‘ It’s a shame to let such a great opportunity go to waste, babe.’ He flashes another grin. ‘ I also wanted to check you haven’t changed your mind about us…’

That sounds like an afterthought.

A sense of calm wills me forwards. This has to end. ‘ I can’t do this, Luke . Us . Any of it.’

I let it sit between us in silence.

Luke shrugs. ‘ You’re nervous, Theo , don’t stress. I get it.’

He doesn’t seem terribly disappointed by my rejection.

A hot bowl of gnocchi is placed before me. The waiter waits for my side with pecorino and a grinder. I wave him away and stand.

Trust your gut.

‘ You’re right. I need to speak to my supervisor about something. I’ll see you in there, Luke .’ I grab my bag and push past, hoping the knot of panic in my chest doesn’t close in on me again.

In my haste, I bump into Maria outside the Palazzo Davanzati .

‘ Ciao , bella ! I’m happy to see you.’

She links arms with me, and we make our way through the arched entrance and across the courtyard, following directions on the placards to the salon upstairs. Drinks are to be served on the top floor to showcase the amazing views of Florence and the river Arno .

‘ Wait , Maria . I need to powder my nose.’

A frown wrinkles her forehead. ‘ Your nose wants powder?’

Smiling , I lead her to the powder room to gather my thoughts.

‘ Amora mia , what has happened? Tell me.’

There’s no hiding my concern. She takes my hands and looks into my eyes. ‘ Is your man not coming?’

‘ My friends will be here,’ I answer, ‘and my ex-husband too.’ I can’t explain the red-flag feeling that something isn’t right.

Maria raises her eyebrows. ‘ Is this a problem? Cara , what are you worry for? You have only one life.’ She holds a finger to my face. ‘ It is time to make this life perfetto . The amore who loves you must see the pain behind your eyes and make them bright with his love. Find the one who do this, eh? Do what makes you happy. Then live the ways you like.’

I smile at the simplicity in her theory. Italians do it well.

‘ Ciao ! Theodora !’ The room rings with laughter and Domenica joins us. A long beep on my phone interrupts, and I excuse myself.

‘ Are you already at the opening?’ Star’s voice is loud and clear, but she sounds alarmed. I hope nothing is wrong.

‘ Yes I’m? —’

‘ Is Luke there yet?’

‘ Yes .’

‘ Hey , Ryan , the guy I’m seeing? He let something slip about Luke .’

Ryan ? Ryan from City Travel ? ‘ What do you mean?’ I check my watch. It’s almost time for the opening address.

‘ Something’s up. I don’t think he’s coming back to Melbourne .’

‘ Of course he is. He told me he’s flying to Hong Kong on business, and then back home later in the week. Sorry , Star , I’ll have to go now, but we’ll talk later…’

‘ Hang on! Jerry the postie flagged it first. There’s something up with Luke . Ryan and I figured we’d check it out....’ I heard her intake of breath. ‘ But his house is packed up, Theodora . We’ve heard rumours too.’

‘ Whoa , Star , hold on a minute.’ My head is spinning. This makes no sense at all. But there’s a sick feeling in my stomach. I fan my face with the ends of my scarf. ‘ Please don’t worry now. I’ll call you back later, okay?’

‘ Wait —’ Star interrupts and then gushes the rest. ‘ There’s been other stuff too, but I didn’t want to worry you when you were so under the pump to get the quilt finished.’

‘ Like what?’ Visions of him in the sunshine come to me again. What’s going on?

‘ Face it, Theodora , you can be a bit blind sometimes—you’re way too trusting. He kept coming by, like I told you ages ago. Borrowing your old laptop, and always turning up when I was here alone. He’s pretty pushy when he wants something.’

She exaggerates her exhale. ‘ And also… Renata and the baby left the country yesterday. Ryan noticed their names on the airline passenger lists when he was checking a client’s details. They’re both flying to the Cayman Islands the day after tomorrow.’

If they’re together, there is something going on.

I recall arguments from years ago. Luke’s mood swings when business deals didn’t go his way, the need for him to set the stakes higher, each time trying new ways to increase his property portfolio. He’s always liked the fast life, the finer things. One bank loan rolling another.

‘ Hey —he doesn’t know your passwords, does he? You olds are pretty crap at online security.’

Luke’s birthdate. My stomach swirls. ‘ I’m sure he doesn’t have access to my accounts, Star . I’ll check it out. It’ll be fine.’

‘ Word is Luke’s involved in some pretty weird shit—illegal stuff. They’re in this together. But I think they’ve pee’d off some seriously scary people with a deal that went wrong. Please make sure he’s not scamming you and doing a runner.’

‘ No , he wouldn’t do that to me.’ I smile half-heartedly, covering my mouth with my hand. But a kick strikes my solar plexus when I try to rationalise it.

‘ I’m sorry but the guy gives me the creeps.’ She lowers her voice. ‘ He’s not there now, is he? With you?’

‘ Not at the moment, but I have to go. I’ll sort it out?—’

‘ Dad said whatever you do, don’t sign anything. Okay ? And be careful!’

With my hand shaking I check myself in the mirror. He wouldn’t, would he? Taking a deep breath, I switch my ring to my right hand before I join the others.

The reception hall is filled with guests dressed in evening finery. I glance across staff from the OPD and fellow conservators, and zero my focus in on my friends. Luke’s smile dazzles from the other end of the room. He sweeps two glasses from a waiter’s tray in one swift movement and swaggers past Signora Vecchia .

‘ Theodora . How good it is to see you.’ Tristan intercepts Luke’s trajectory with the stealth of a cat. I resist the temptation to lean closer when he takes my hand and his kisses land on my cheeks. ‘ What on earth is wrong? You’re shaking like a leaf.’

‘ Just nervous,’ I reassure him with a brief smile.

‘ Let me get you a prosecco.’ He signals to the waiter and moves away.

‘ Who’s the toff?’ Luke reaches me. Thankfully Rosie and Kit are hot on his heels, followed by Stephanie , who I confess I’m glad to see for the first time. Safety in numbers.

Luke’s eyes stray while he hands me a glass. ‘ Love the gown.’ He checks out her shapely body with obvious appreciation. ‘ I’m Luke — Theodora’s ex…’

‘ We need to talk,’ I hiss in his ear.

‘ Sure thing, Theo .’ He winks.

Tristan returns and sizes Luke up, the way men do. Then he hands a surprised Stephanie the glass intended for me. Tension knots in my neck. This whole thing with Luke has felt off since the start.

Rosie senses my unease. ‘ Hey , lovely? I want to quiz you on the technique on the lower borders…’ Once we’re out of earshot she turns me to face her, taking the glass from my shaking hands. ‘ What the hell is going on?’

‘ There’s a problem to sort out with Luke .’ I sigh and roll my eyes. ‘ Star thinks he’s up to something dodgy and I’m not sure what’s going on, but I refuse to let him spoil my night. I’ll handle him later.’

An announcement is made to make our way to the gallery on the floor below. My nerves are on edge. It feels like my legs are too heavy for my feet to lift.

‘ Let’s find a place close to the front. I’m sure Kit and Stephanie can amuse Luke for a while. Though , judging by the look on his face, I’m pretty sure Tristan would prefer to knock him to the ground.’

‘ What are you talking about?’

‘ Come on, it’s me! Anyone can see there’s something going on between you two. You light up like a firecracker when he’s in the room. But you’re going home?—’

‘ I just can’t deal with this now....’

‘ I know you have a lot on your plate, lovely, but the choice is yours. Don’t allow anyone to dictate what you do. This is your life,’ she implores, echoing Maria’s earlier sentiments.

The official part of the evening opens with a visual presentation on the Coperta di Usella . Silence ensues as the various methods used for its conservation are discussed, and scenes of Tristan’s tale are explained. Luke moves closer to Stephanie , far more interested in her than anything on the stage.

The curtains open to reveal the coperta displayed across a four-poster bed in the centre of a room fashioned as a medieval bedchamber. When Signora Vecchia thanks the conservators and mentions each team’s integral part in the conservation, the crowd applauds. I smile, proud of what we have achieved. Gran would have loved this.

There’s rapture and pride in the faces of those involved and beaming smiles of love from their friends and families. I feel the heat of Tristan’s gaze and turn to face him. He nods and raises a glass in salute; his eyes widen as it touches his lips. It’s an intensely sensual gesture; more evocative given my heightened emotions. But the nagging feeling there’s more to concern myself with tonight than his steamy smile will not leave me.

Once the speeches are over, Signora Vecchia makes her approach. ‘ Brava , Theodora . Allora , a magnificent evening. Are you sure I can’t tempt you to stay? We have another assignment. A set of seventeenth-century Carnevale costumes from Venice …’

‘ Thank you, Signora , for your faith in me. But as I have explained, my new business at home will take time to set up.’

‘ Si , I understand, but I will ask again. I wish for you the best. Eccola . If you change your mind, the doors it comes open for you. I hope our paths cross again. It has been good, eh?’

With her praise pumping my ego, I make a beeline for Luke . I need to sort this out now.

‘ Luke , we have to talk.’

‘ Sure . Here you go, babe—just one for the road.’

I blindly take the glass from his hand. I’m not looking forward to our conversation. But he has other plans and wanders off again, distracted by laughter nearby.

It’s my last opportunity to stand in front of the coperta. It will be on exhibition for a short period and then placed back in storage for posterity. My chest tightens, feeling a wave of grief and loss emanating from the linen. I can’t resist the pull of it and tears fill my eyes— I have to touch it one more time.

A woman scowls at her master as he locks her inside the room. The coperta is stretched on a frame behind her. I feel her helplessness; she has suffered greatly; someone she loves has been taken from her. Anger rises and morphs into something intangible. She looks at me and her eyes are pleading. They blaze with strength and hope.

I back away, and Tristan’s peppery fresh scent circles around me. No matter where we are in a room, it’s as though a band connects us, aligning us like his ley lines.

‘ Theodora , congratulations. You and your team have done a marvellous job. I’m impressed. Many will appreciate this unique piece of history.’ He smiles down at me. ‘ And I have a gift for you, in celebration of your achievement.’

The winged cherubs picture on the wrapping paper is the same I awoke to every morning at the villa. I look into his eyes and frown.

‘ It was originally from my grandparents’ library.’

I open the package and smile at the aged volume, a book entitled Empedocles on Etna and Other Poems . I’m touched by the poem he’s marked with a scrap of paper: ‘ Tristram and Iseult ’.

‘ Thanks , Tristan .’

‘ It’s quite a theme …’ His blue eyes stare into mine. Despite the yearning I have for him, there is no point delaying what must be said. ‘ I wish things were different. It seems time is against us.’ He kisses my cheeks, and my body quivers when he pulls away. I breathe in his scent, savouring the last trace of him.

‘ I hope you know how I feel about you,’ I begin. How do I explain the pull I feel that makes being with him feel so right? Deep in my gut I know that we are meant to be together, but if it is to be, then we have to get it right to begin with. There’s no coming back from this if we make a mistake. When we take the next step, it will be forever.

‘ I love you, Tristan , and I want to be with you. But this…this relationship is a lot. I need us to take a breath. I’m not ready right to commit to you now, not with all that I have to sort through in my life. Not the way we both deserve. We have to make sure that whatever we do from this point on, is right for both of us …’

‘ You love me, and that’s a start,’ he runs his hands through his hair, ‘because I love you too, Theodora .’ Tristan takes my hand and holds it over his heart. The gesture brings tears to my eyes. ‘ And I will give you all the space you need. Whatever it takes. The obstacles stopping us can be pushed aside. I have no intention of giving in to my father’s irrational demands, nor do I plan on living the rest of my life without you. I will wait for you, Theodora , if you’re sure that time is all you need.’ My name on his lips sends a shiver though my body. ‘ For as long as it takes. I promise you….’

I turn away from him, knowing he is the only thing in my life that I cannot resolve now the way I want to. The way our love deserves. ‘ I can’t promise how long, Tristan . I don’t know.’

‘ I have waited a lifetime for a love like ours. For you, Theodora .’ He kisses the top of my head.

I long for him to take me into his arms, to feel him close to me. But it isn’t meant to be. For now. Not until I am fully in control of my life. I’m focused on my vision for the future. He alone is not enough. It would be foolish to rush our relationship until I clear my path to make space for him.

If we are meant to be, we must trust we will find a way. ‘ Goodbye , Tristan .’ I step back and stare at the coperta through blurry tears.

When I look up his broad shoulders are easing through the exit door.

He is gone. The pain in my chest takes my breath away.

Together forever is all that I am willing to accept.

I n the taxi on our way back to the hotel, Luke reaches for my hand, but I wrestle it away.

‘ Hey , those Italians sure know how to put on a great show. Bet you can’t wait to leave now the blanket’s finished. But what’s up with you? You’ve been weird since I got here.’

The taxi pulls up, and I leave him to pay. But he follows me up the stairs and by the time we reach my room he’s had time to think. I see him calculating my mood to avoid a row. He takes a different tack.

‘ Listen . You know I only want what’s best for you. Can’t you see how selling would set you up?’ He flicks a hand through his fringe. Impatient .

‘ I’m not interested in your ideas.’ I clench my fists and dare him to meet my gaze. ‘ And my finances are no longer your concern. But what else are you up to?—?’

He flashes his winner smile, the one I once found so endearing. Now it looks fake and weak.

I put my hand on his forearm and a black cloud appears in my mind. I see figures disappearing from the pages of a bank statement. My stomach turns. ‘ Tell me exactly what you’ve done.’

‘ I don’t know what you’re on about, babe,’ he stammers.

Calm washes over me and I stand my ground. ‘ Whatever you and Renata are scheming, it’s not going to happen. It’s over, Luke .’ I take a deep breath.

‘ Renata ?’ The flicker in his eyes gives him away.

‘ I know you’re in this together. Good luck to you. Just leave me and my business out of it.’ Rage builds inside me like a wave. I want to scream but I press my lips together. I have to keep control.

Breathe in, breathe out. I hug my arms across my chest.

‘ All I ever did was look out for you,’ He grabs my shoulder, and his face is flushed in irritation. ‘ I did everything for us. Worked my arse off. But you never cared about what I wanted?—'

How dare he? He’s angry because I’ve called him out and haven’t capitulated to him or his plans. I’m not bowing to him or his bullying. ‘ You won’t get away with it…’

‘ There’s someone else, isn’t there?’ he changes the subject. ‘ I bet it’s that stuck-up toff.’ His voice is cool. ‘ I can tell, Theo . I know you better than anyone.’

I can’t think about Tristan when we’ve just said goodbye. I hold my voice steady and lift my chin. ‘ You can’t help but find a way to take anything I have and make it benefit you. You’ve deceived me time and again, Luke . But I see you now. I won’t let you get away with this. Whatever scam it is.’

For a few seconds we’re locked like prize fighters in a ring, staring each other down.

‘ Well , I guess it’s over then.’ He smiles with bravado. The wink is a step too far. Strangely , I almost feel sorry for him. He leans in. ‘ I never could fool you, Theo .’

I step back. ‘ Why would you want to?’

He shoots out of the room and disappears before I pick up the phone. I’m sickened by his betrayal. How could you cheat someone that you care about? Someone you profess to love? It hurts that he would take advantage of me, deceive me. Not to mention, how I’m meant to fix it?

I spend all night contacting the bank and my lawyer and sorting through the mess Luke has created. There’s a stop on all my accounts until I get home and meet with them face to face. The false bank account he transferred my funds to is closed; it will take time to recoup what I’ve lost so far. If ever. I’m relieved to be returning home, but all I can think is how close I have come to losing everything.

T he next morning, Rosie and Kit are waiting for me at breakfast in the ground floor restaurant of my hotel.

‘ Orright , my bird? Looks like you done ten rounds with Brad Pauls .’ Kit swoops low to kiss me. ‘ How’s the other guy?’

Rosie’s curls tickle my nose, and I’m enveloped in a cloud of floral scent. Then I notice she’s holding his hand. When did that happen? I glance from one to another as she blushes a beautiful shade of fairy-floss pink.

‘ I knew something was off. Luke was acting strange with me too. Asking all sorts of questions about you and your movements. Tell us what’s happened.’

As I relay the events of the evening, Kit is the quietest I’ve ever seen him. Meanwhile , my friend’s expressions gravitate between anger and fierce loyalty on my behalf.

‘ He’s cleared out one account and transferred the funds to a holding account of some kind. To top it off, Star went to the boutique and the locks have been changed there too. It will take me ages to sort that out. In the meantime, it looks like I’ll be starting up my new venture from Clarence’s kitchen table.’

‘ That bastard!’ Rosie whispers between her teeth and darts a glance at the patrons around us. She wipes her eyes behind octagonal purple frames.

‘ Full of it, he was, the moment we clapped eyes. Good riddance, I say.’ Kit’s large hand squeezes my shoulder. ‘ Glad to see back of him.’

His smile is genuine and when he gives an impersonation of Luke’s flick of the fringe, I can’t help but laugh.

‘ Star told me what was going on. I’m so grateful to her. She’s a treasure. I can’t imagine how much worse it could have been if he kept going.’

‘ She’s a dear, I agree. She’ll be relieved to see you back. I messaged her and told her you’re okay. She’s very invested in this project, isn’t she?’ Rosie’s eyes are bright and glittering.

I nod and smile.

Rosie clears her throat. ‘ Tristan had to fly straight back to London this morning, poor thing. There was a problem to sort out at the office, and with his father so ill, he has a lot on his plate. But he said to send you his…love,’ Rosie winks, ‘and mentioned a book he gave you. Something about you reading the signs?’ She shrugs her shoulders. ‘ Do you know what he’s talking about?

‘ Not really. It’s still in my bag.’

‘ Well , maybe check it out later. Anyhow , you’d best go and pack up your things and we’ll take you to the airport.’

‘ And where’s Stephanie this morning?’

Kit chuckles. ‘ Found a new friend last night, she did. One of your conservator types.’ He blushes the colour of the roots of his hair. ‘ No …not your type…’

Confused , I look from one to the other.

‘ Oh , lovely! You do realise Stephanie is gay, don’t you?’ Rosie grins.

My mouth drops open, but my face feels tight as a drum. Of course she is.

‘ When I said she was a friend of my cousin’s, I meant, a Netflix and chill friend,’ she air quotes, ‘of my cousin Meredith …’

Luke would be devastated to hear the gorgeous girl was not remotely interested in him. ‘ Does Tristan’s father know?’

‘ Giss’on !’ Kit laughs. ‘ The old man’s as blind as he be stubborn. Helluva bird, Stephanie is—but he knows nothing of her. Works her arse off for his company, she does. Her and Tristan be as well suited as a goose searching for a mate in a henhouse.’

I stifle a giggle.

‘ That boy’s suffered the old man’s instructions all his life. He be a hard man to please. But Tristan is stubborn too. Once he sets his mind, he’ll make a proper job to right it and fight for what he wants. Might be some sad sap, my bird, but honest as the day is long, our Tristan .’ Kit winks. ‘ You’ll see.’

Ignoring your family’s demands takes courage. Look at Tristan and Isolde . I guess, then as now, sacrifices are made out of consideration for the people you love, ahead of your own desires.

We’ve made promises to ourselves and each other. The rest will take time. Time to trust, to heal. To find the space to focus on me.

And then I will be ready for love.