The Fly-Half (Lincoln Knights #2)

Chapter Five

CHAPTER FIVE

Devon

“Yes? Why?” I glanced between Mason and Jonny, trying to work out why my dating life was suddenly of so much interest. Mason looked delighted while Jonny had a face like thunder, and both of them confused me. Mason and I were friends but we weren’t that close, and Jonny seemed to have developed a real stick up his ass about my sex life, or lack of one.

Maybe the lack of sleep was getting to him.

He really needed to get some earplugs if Ryan and Mason were that loud, although hopefully pointing it out to Mason would make it better. I’d never seen him look so flustered.

“No reason,” Mason said. “Just that I think it’s cool. Ryan says Peaches is a lot of fun, and maybe now he’ll stop complaining to Ry about being single.”

“We’re just chatting,” I said, putting my foot on the brakes before Mason ran off with the idea of Peaches and me becoming a thing. Yeah, Peaches was fun and sweet, but we hadn’t done anything more than a bit of casual flirting. I’d thought about asking him out for a drink, maybe dinner, but I hadn’t gotten around to it yet. I kept trying to tell myself that holding a torch for Jonny didn’t mean I couldn’t go out and have a bit of casual fun the same way I’d always done. But it felt harder than it had while I’d been living in France, where the distance had given my brain an out.

But now I got to see him at least six days a week, and it had made my pining a thousand times worse.

I knew it wasn’t cheating to talk to Peaches because Jonny would never love me the way I loved him and our relationship would never be anything more than platonic. But damn, why did it feel wrong every time Peaches messaged me?

I had to get over my fucking self.

Living my life for a man who’d never want me was fucked up, and I couldn’t give up my chance at a full and happy life on the off chance Jonny might wake up one day and change his mind.

I deserved to be loved.

Or at least, I deserved to have fun and good sex and laugh with someone who wanted me.

Love could come later.

“Yeah?” Mason smirked. “That’s good! Have some fun. The season’s stressful enough. You deserve a break.”

“Maybe,” I said. My eyes were fixed on Jonny, who still looked like he’d been slapped. I knew he wanted to protect me, but it was getting ridiculous. He couldn’t stop me from talking to guys because he was worried they might turn out like Alexandre, and if he didn’t relax soon, I was going to have to read him the riot act.

Or at least, try to.

I didn’t know how easy it would be to get my point across without telling him how I felt. There was a risk that once I started, all my emotions would simply pour out of me and I’d end up spilling my guts to him, which was the last thing I wanted.

I couldn’t put him on the spot like that. Our friendship would never recover and I’d lose the most important person in my life.

“Stop harassing him,” Jonny said, putting his arm around my shoulder. “It’s weird.”

“I’m not harassing him, grumble guts. I just want Devon to know that I support his endeavours! Besides, if he gets a drag boyfriend, then I’ll have someone else who understands the pains of finding fucking glitter and rhinestones everywhere!”

“Talk to West,” Jonny said. “He’s in the same boat.”

“I know, but if there’s three of us, we can start a little club. A sympathy group! For supportive partners of drag artists who end up covered in glitter by association.”

I chuckled, trying not to focus on the warm weight of Jonny’s arm across my shoulders. “If it ever gets that far, I’ll let you know.”

Any further conversation was cut off by Tommy, the assistant head coach, blowing his whistle and gesturing for all of us to gather around for passing drills. He split us randomly into two lines and made us spread out across the pitch. The drills were fairly simple ones, but on the day the things that made the difference were the small things done right. If we couldn’t pass swiftly and accurately, then that undermined everything else we’d worked on.

We were currently third in the Premiership with five wins and two losses, and while we’d had our best start to the season in years, that didn’t mean it would stay that way. It would only take a few mistakes for everything to fall apart.

Jonny was further down my line, throwing passes with speed and deadly accuracy as we moved forward. I tried to ignore the way his shorts were riding up around his thighs as he ran and focus on catching the ball from Bailey and Danny, who were on either side of me. I fumbled one and stumbled to recover, trying not to let the ball slip through my arms.

“You okay?” Bailey called.

“Yeah, just tripped over my own feet,” I said with a half laugh as I chucked the ball at Danny, trying to brush off the moment as quickly as possible.

I really needed to get out more.

I was going to have to ask Peaches for that drink.

Peaches

How was training? Did you do good rugby?

Peaches

I spent all day working with this godawful feather boa thing, so it looks like several pillows exploded all over my living room.

Devon

Was it worth it at least? Do you like what you ended up with?

Peaches

God no, it’s hideous as fuck. I binned it! Absolute waste of a day but at least it confirmed I should never work with feathers.

Devon

Haha is it worse than glitter then? I know Ryan’s house is covered in the stuff. Mason always complains about it.

Devon

And yeah, training was good. Haven’t got a match this week so it’s mostly just keeping things ticking over, skills practice, stuff like that.

Peaches

You know, you still haven’t sent me a photo of you in your shorts. All I’ve seen are the ones from Instagram.

Devon

Next time I put them on I’ll send you a pic.

Peaches

Tease!

I grinned as I stretched out on my sofa, half wondering if I should send Peaches a photo of the grey joggers I was wearing. I even opened the camera and snapped a pic, opening it in my gallery and scrutinizing the way my body was stretched out and how the fabric clung to my dick and thighs. It made it very clear what I was packing underneath, especially since I wasn’t wearing any underwear.

But when I opened the message thread again, I couldn’t bring myself to send it.

I was sure Peaches would love it.

The problem was, I wasn’t sure I’d love where the conversation would go.

Usually I loved sexting—getting my partner hot and making them squirm with filthy messages detailing exactly what I wanted. Sending pictures and videos and voice notes as I jerked myself off, whispering to them and letting them know exactly what they were doing to me. But tonight I wasn’t feeling it. And I didn’t want to lead Peaches on only to disappoint him.

Devon

I know I’m terrible ;)

Devon

Do you think you’d ever want to meet for a drink? Are you busy this weekend?

Peaches

Yes, that sounds fabulous! I’m at The Court Friday and Saturday night this week, but I could do Sunday if you fancied brunch? Might be a bit much for a casual drink though.

I sucked my tongue, trying to work out how I felt. I was glad Peaches wasn’t taking it too seriously but there was something weird about knowing that, even if I felt the same.

Devon

Maybe one night next week?

Peaches

How about Thursday? It’s my free night and I’d love to do something fun.

Devon

Sounds good. Have a think and let me know where you want to go and I’ll be there.

Waiting a few days would give me a chance to get my head sorted and if I got there and really wasn’t interested, then I’d buy Peaches a couple of drinks to apologise and explain. And hopefully not sound like a complete loser drunkenly pouring my heart out to someone I’d only just met.

Maybe I’d stick to one or two drinks, just in case.

Peaches

Perfect! Can’t wait 3

Devon

Me neither

Devon

So tell me more about this godawful feather dress.

I watched the screen and saw the words “Peaches is typing” floating at the top of the screen, so while I waited I pulled open my thread with Jonny. I hadn’t heard from him since the end of training and he’d been in such a weird mood I was worried about him. I didn’t know if it was the pressure of the season, Mason being a dickhead, or if something else was going on.

In the back of my mind, I had a vague thought that maybe his contract was up for renewal at the end of the season but he was fucking killing it, so I didn’t know why he’d be worried. It was clear Clive and the rest of the coaching staff wanted him here, he got on well with everyone on the team, and he didn’t want to leave, so I didn’t see why they wouldn’t want to renew.

At least, I didn’t think he wanted to leave.

I’d be fucking pissed if he did. I’d only just gotten here and I wasn’t about to lose him again because he decided he wanted to fuck off to York or Exeter or wherever else he was thinking of sodding off to.

Devon

Hey, you okay? You seemed a bit off today.

Jonny

I’m fine, just tired.

Devon

Are you sure? You know you can tell me.

Devon

Is it to do with your contract? It expires at the end of the season, right?

Devon

Because you know we’d riot if you left.

I’d riot. And I’d get everyone else to join me by simply being annoying as fuck until they complied. It wouldn’t be hard to get West or Mason to side with me, and I was pretty sure the pair of them could browbeat the rest of the squad into submission by sheer force of will.

Jonny

It’s not because of the contract, but yeah it’s up next June.

Jonny

Wasn’t planning on going anywhere though. Unless you don’t want me.

Devon

Don’t you dare. I just got here. This was our dream, remember? Play for the same team and win a shit ton of trophies.

Jonny

I remember. Not sure we’ll get to the trophies part though.

I smiled. In truth, the trophies part didn’t matter to me, not as much as playing for the same team. It’d been something we’d joked about when we were sixteen and playing on the same Under Seventeens team, spending every evening and weekend together.

I’d already thought I might be gay, but I hadn’t realised how much I loved Jonny. All I’d wanted was for us to be together for as long as possible because the thought of being without him hurt .

But then life had intervened when I’d been offered a contract with Marseille, one that would have been bloody foolish to turn down, so I’d moved and left him behind. Tried to move on. Failed. Fallen harder in love. And gotten myself stuck.

And I still couldn’t bring myself to consider a future without him.

Because together or not, my life was pointless without Jonny in it.

Devon

Doesn’t matter. Who wants a trophy anyway?

Jonny

Like 90% of the people on the team?

Jonny

Just cos you’ve already won shit with Marseille doesn’t mean the rest of us have to be trophy-less =P

Devon

I suppose. I guess we could try and win one for you.

Jonny

Your charity is fucking boundless.

A message flashed up from Peaches and I knew I should open it because that was where my chances lay.

But he could wait another few minutes for a response.