The Forbidden Secret (Forbidden #2)

Chapter Eighteen

Evelina Bianchi

I bounced on my toes as Jaimie stood in front of me, seemingly distracted and unfazed by my movements.

“Has anyone told you not to bounce so much? It makes you look antsy and inexperienced. Nobody will take you seriously.”

“I don’t need anyone to take me seriously. I just need them to be hurt enough to leave me alone,” I countered as I balled my fists. “My Uncle taught me a lot. We did weekly lessons my entire childhood and into adulthood, but when he passed, the lessons stopped. It’s been a while, and I’m rusty.”

“Did you actually listen to the lessons?”

I narrowed my eyes. “You don’t need to be rude. ”

“Either you didn’t listen, or your uncle sucked ass at fighting. Knowing you, it was probably the former.”

Jaimie had been here a lot, and I couldn’t tell if I wanted her as a lifelong friend or if I wanted to genuinely fight her. Both were options right now, and I wondered if I should take full advantage.

“ You’re supposed to be teaching me, not insulting me.”

“Fine,” she said, and the look of mischief in her eyes had me hesitating. “Defend yourself.”

She moved forward with a punch that would have left a nasty bruise on my cheekbone if I hadn’t stepped back. But she was on me again with another blow that I absorbed with my forearm. Shit, it hurt. I hadn’t practiced these moves in long enough that the blow jarred me enough to miss her next attempt.

I took a knee to the gut and crouched over with a wince.

“Damn, you are out of practice,” she declared with a slight chuckle.

Her voice and words blinded my pain. I whipped up and swung my arm at her, cocking her across the jaw before she could react. I moved as fast as I could, sending a kick and another punch, both of which she deflected.

“Good one,” she replied as she rubbed her jaw approvingly. “Damn, you’ve got a good hook. Maybe the uncle did teach you something.”

“He was the best,” I said.

Jaimie struck again, but I was ready and easily deflected. For a moment, we exchanged blows, neither of us gaining the upper hand over the other. I could tell that she was going easy on me, but she didn’t pull punches. She just moved slower than I knew she would in a genuinely dangerous situation.

“I don’t think self-defense is a concern for you,” she said as she took a step away.

“I have to agree.”

The male voice from across the room startled me, and I turned my attention to Zeke. I frowned, my nostrils flaring as I stared at him for the first time since he had walked out on me yesterday. Jaimie had been here soon after, and she knew nothing about his whereabouts or thoughts on the situation. Hell, she didn’t even know about the situation, and I didn’t particularly want to relay it to someone else.

“You’re back,” I said between pants.

“I had a lot to do.”

I didn’t care.

Jaimie stepped back and looked between us. “You take over this. The last thing I need is to be in the middle of a lover’s spat.”

She had no idea.

He didn’t say anything to Jaimie as she walked out, just stared intently at me.

When she left the room, he stepped forward. “What were you working on?”

I didn’t think I had the capacity to speak to him right now—not after I had opened up and told him the truth, only for him to walk out on me. I had never lied to him, but now I regretted taking the high road. He didn’t deserve it.

I turned my back on him and went to step away, but he grabbed my upper arm to stop me.

Maybe it was the anger that I had kept suppressed for so long, or maybe it was the hurt from his betrayal that fueled me. But the second I felt his fingers wrap around my arm, I turned, grabbed his wrist, and extended my leg. When I pulled him, he stood no chance of catching his balance as he dropped to the floor.

I had to give him credit where credit was due. He immediately caught himself and pushed up off the floor. It was impressively nimble watching the way he so easily righted himself, but as he took a step toward me, I swung.

He dodged, but I swung again and again. Over and over, I tried to hit him. I aimed anywhere I could at the thought of my little girl fatherless. I reminded myself that he walked away. He did that. He walked away once, and when he learned the truth, he did it again.

“How could you?” I screamed.

He stopped deflecting as I punched his arms. His chest. Anywhere I could land a blow.

Years of building a dam inside myself and holding all my emotions back had broken, and it was because of him. My fists throbbed, but I kept going, and he let me. He stared down at me, but I didn’t meet his eyes as I felt the tears well and spill over—as my voice grew hoarse with them.

“I gave myself to you. I trusted you, and you walked away!”

“You have to stop,” he said in a tone that reminded me of someone trying to soothe a wild animal. He moved in closer, but I didn’t. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“You did this,” I screamed at him through tears. “You left me alone to do it, and I did . I fucking did it all, and then this happened, and—”

My words broke, and my punches grew weaker.

He grabbed both of my wrists, and I didn’t realize until there was a pressure at my back that he had cornered me against the front door. He held me, and as I thrashed, he held firm.

“Evelina, I’ll let go when you are calm.”

I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes as the tears continued to fall. Had I been strong for too long? Why would I break down to the man who clearly didn’t care about me and Beatrice?

He pressed his body into mine tightly, forcing me to look at him. “You can be as pissed at me as you want. You can do whatever you want to take that out on me, but don’t hurt yourself.”

I continued shaking, the sobs finally giving way to another wave of that anger.

He surprised me.

He released my wrists and pulled a pistol from a holster at his side. Without hesitation, he pressed it into my hand and pointed the barrel into his own chest. The weight of it jarred me, and as I went to drop it, he held it in place.

“If you want to hurt me—if you want to kill me—do it. Everything I am is yours, Evelina. I’m fucking sorry. So sorry for leaving like that. I was never angry with you. I didn’t know what to do, and I had to get out. I left you alone. I didn’t give you a way to contact me. I did that, and I should have owned up to it. But sorry doesn’t excuse all of that.”

I shook my head quickly, but he didn’t release the barrel.

“Pull the trigger, Evelina. I deserve it for everything I’ve done. I hurt you, and that’s the one thing I never wanted to do. But I did it anyways.”

He did. He had.

But he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to feel like I had a right to his life.

“Zeke,” I said, pulling the gun from his hand and tossing it aside. “God, Zeke.”

I didn’t know what to do with him so close to me. I couldn’t compartmentalize the way my body craved him and would never stop wanting him. I couldn’t quell the heat that immediately rose in my core as he pinned me in place with his body.

He rested his forehead on mine, and I instinctively wrapped an arm around his waist and drew him closer.

“I should have never left. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking by walking out like that. I… I…” His voice caught. “Fuck, I don’t know what to say.”

Frustration ran through me again, and I released him, pushing at his chest. I didn’t know the best way to reply. I didn’t even know how I wanted to reply until the hateful words left my lips. Words that I know would burn him.

“At least your father was there for his family before he killed them. At least he didn’t walk away and act like they didn’t exist.”

The words hurt coming out, and as I said them and watched the blow land, I knew I had gone too far. I hadn’t just hurt him. From the look of devastation on his face, as he took a step back and walked into his room, I knew the wound I had given him was far deeper.

I had never regretted anything more in my life as I put a hand over my mouth and sank to the floor.