The Forever Experiment

11. Easton

11

Easton

Muffled whispers and the click of a door falling into place stirs me from the best sleep I’ve had in years. I groan, rolling over and allowing my eyes to blink open, adjusting to the daylight floating through the paneled windows lining Maya’s suite.

I’m disappointed to find the rest of the bed vacant of her, my palm stretching across the mattress as if in search of her body. I lift my head, glancing around the room, smiling as I find my wife turning the corner of the suite’s main area in her white robe and rolling in a cloth-covered cart. Her hair is unwound, braids swaying at her back with each step she takes. The smile on her face tells me she’s well rested, just as content with last night as I feel.

“I ordered breakfast.” She slides the cart in front of the bed, lifting the silver lids covering the trays of fruit, pastries, and coffee. She crawls across the mattress, looking like my personal slice of heaven, before reaching over me to grab two mugs.

She sits cross-legged beside me, handing me my cup. We eat in comfortable silence, laughing about each other’s preferred way to take their coffee and butter their toast. I like jelly, she stacks peanut butter on top of regular butter, which I find insane.

“We probably need to get up soon if we’re going to make it to the Clerk’s office in time for our appointment,” she says, taking another sip of her coffee. “But I thought I’d at least get you breakfast to thank you.”

“Thank me?”

She nods, lowering her coffee between her knees. “Yeah. For this weekend…” She dips her head, tucking a braid behind her ear, appearing almost bashful. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt taken care of, and I think…I think I really needed to be reminded of that this weekend.”

Then let me continue doing it, I want to beg.

Instead, I brush my thumb across her cheek. “You deserve to be reminded of that every day, Maya.”

Her eyes fall closed as she nuzzles into my palm, sighing before pulling back. “I need to go get packed. You should probably do the same.”

I nod, climbing out of the bed, feeling like I’ll be leaving my entire chest cavity inside this room when I exit it. I shuffle back into my clothes from last night as Maya walks into the bathroom, and I can hear her rattling through her toiletry bag.

Once I have all my things, I step into the bathroom doorway, leaning against the frame. “I’ll meet you in the lobby around nine-thirty, and we can get a cab to the Clerk’s office?”

She pauses, her eyes going distant as she watches herself in the mirror, refusing to look at me. Dropping her gaze and lowering the makeup brush she has in her hand, she solemnly nods. It almost seems like she doesn’t want to do this, and that slight hesitation in her body language has me wanting to fall to my knees and beg her not to.

I’m far too aware of how crazy that sounds, though. I know none of this makes sense, and there is no reason the two of us should remain married, but I can’t help the gnawing pit in the center of my stomach, the funneling sensation in my chest screaming at me not to go through with it.

Something inside me makes me feel like Maya’s experiencing the same thing, but neither of us have the courage to voice it. Instead, I resolve to press a kiss to the top of her head and leave the room before she has the chance to meet my gaze.

Everything feels backward and upside down and so fucking wrong as I take the elevator to my floor, pack my things, and check out of my room. Time is warped and my vision is blurred until I’m suddenly standing in the lobby, sweating and pacing and panicking as I wait for my wife to meet me so we can end our marriage.

That thought slams into my gut like a fucking fast pitch, because I realize I didn’t just accidentally get married—I accidentally fell in love, and I’m about to lose her.

I hear the elevator chime, and I spin around to find Maya stepping out of it. She’s wearing a pair of distressed jeans with tears in all the right places, giving me the most enticing glimpses of her smooth, dark skin. A black tee is tucked into the waist of her jeans, accented by a pair of platform, black and gold sneakers. I can’t tell the brand from here, but there is no doubt to me that they’re designer.

“Hi, pretty boy.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Hi, Maya baby.” I smile back, knowing mine doesn’t either. I take her luggage from her, wheeling it behind me as we make our way to the front of the hotel. “I already got us a cab,” I say once we’re outside.

I wave them down, my soul demanding I not. As the car pulls in front of us, the driver gets out, opening the trunk and beckoning for me to hand him Maya’s suitcase. Yet, suddenly, my feet don’t move. Neither do my arms, my mouth.

My entire body is frozen, my wife staring at me like I’ve lost my mind as the cab driver continues to move his arms impatiently.

Forcing myself back into reality, I turn to the driver. “Can you actually give us a moment?” The man huffs before offering me a shallow nod and sliding back into the running vehicle. Facing Maya, I find her dark eyes wide with shock and confusion, though she appears just as hesitant as I am.

“I don’t want to do this,” I admit.

“Easton…” She shakes her head, at a loss for words, and I can’t blame her. “Are you telling me you want to stay married?”

I take her hands in mine, brushing my thumbs over the back of knuckles. “Yes.”

“We…we can’t.”

“Why?

She laughs in disbelief. “We don’t even live in the same state. We both have jobs and…and lives.”

“My job sucks,” I say honestly. “My friends are surface level. I fucking hate the cold. The only reason I came back to Boise after law school was because my firm was the first to offer me a job, and I had nothing else going for me. I still don’t.” I squeeze her hands. “Until you. I don’t want to give you up, and the life I was living before you walked into my arms two days ago seems real inconsequential now that I realize you won’t be in it when I return. You’ve eclipsed everything I was experiencing before, and I don’t want to let that go.”

Her lashes flutter, and I can tell it’s an attempt to hold back the emotion crawling up her throat. “So, what? You want to move to California?”

“Sure, why not?” I chuff. “I love California. I’m always looking for reasons to go down there and visit my sisters. I’ve just never had the courage to stay before. You make me want to find it. You make me want to start over and finally fucking live for something.”

“What would you do for work?” she asks, beating around every bush except the one that actually matters.

“I can work for you.”

“You’re not barred in the state of California.”

“Then I’ll fetch your fucking coffee, Maya,” I scoff. “I’ll walk dogs or pave roads. I don’t give a shit. I just want to come home to you at the end of the day.”

I watch her throat work as she swallows, contemplating my admission. “Every man I’ve ever dated has left me because my schedule is too busy and my job is too demanding, because I’m too detached and hyper-independent, because I don’t know how to be affectionate and I don’t want to be needed. Most of all,” she inhales sharply, dropping her gaze to the ground, “because I don’t need, and I don’t want to need anyone else.”

For the first time today, I feel my lips tilt up into a genuine smile. “Maya baby. Look at me.” I grip her chin, forcing her to lift her head. “I will never punish you for being exactly who you are. I like your independence and your ambition. I love it, in fact. I want you to be all the things you just said, and I’ll never try and make you different.” Her brows knit together, features softening as she soaks in my words. “But I also think sometimes, you need to remember who you are outside your titles. Daughter. Sister. Attorney. I think this weekend you were reminded, maybe for the first time in a long time, what it’s like to just be Maya. My Maya.”

One rogue tear escapes her glistening eyes, cascading down her cheek before I catch it. She nods, and I lift the hand of hers I’m still holding to my mouth, pressing my lips against it.

“I started falling in love with you ten years ago. Every study group, every stroll between classes, every stolen glance in the library, I was tumbling head first into it. What I’ve realized now is that the timer didn’t start over despite the years apart. No, it began ticking faster the moment I was back in your presence.”

“You love me?” she asks, the question a gasp.

I know I may have said too much, laid myself too bare. I don’t think anyone has ever said something like this to her before, and while a deep satisfaction runs through me knowing I’m the first, I also know it’s going to take a minute for her to process. There were about a million ways I could’ve gone about this conversation, and the front entrance of a Vegas casino while a very impatient cab driver honks at us aggressively wasn’t the place to do it.

“Give it two weeks,” I plead, tone coming out shaky and desperate.

“Give what two weeks?”

“Yourself,” I continue. “Give yourself two weeks to think it through. Please.” I kiss her hand again before rolling her luggage in front of her and grabbing mine. “I have a trip planned to see my sister at the end of the month in Los Angeles. I’m going to go grab the annulment papers right now, and I’ll bring them to you then. I’ll have them signed, and if you still don’t want to give us a shot, we’ll file.”

“Easton…” She sighs. “I….” Her eyes are frantic with confusion and unease, but she’s not telling me no.

“Please.” I lean forward and kiss her head. “Please, Maya. Just…think it through.” I grab my bag and toss it in the back seat of the cab before stepping one leg in. “You stay, and I’ll—”

“Wait!” she says, stepping off the curb. “Our rings. We need to return them.”

The removal of that ring from her left ring finger is like a hot blade slicing itself down the center of my heart, and I swear, I can almost feel both halves of it splatter against the concrete beneath my feet. She holds it out to me, and the expression on her face is unreadable, the only sign she’s feeling any emotion at all the tear slipping down her cheek.

She extends her hand to me, holding out the ring, and I’m obliterated as I take it from her. I slip mine off too, and she opens her palm. I place both inside it, curling her fingers over top. “I understand you need to return my ring, but this one is always going to belong to you. I won’t take it.” I kiss her knuckles. “I will come find you in two weeks, I promise.”

She blinks down at the two sparkling pieces of jewelry she’s holding, and before she can say anything else, I fall into the back seat of the cab and shut the door. The driver pulls away, and I’m too terrified to face whatever expression she may be providing me. I let my head fall into my hands, refusing to look back as we drive away, leaving my shattered heart right at her feet.