The Forever Play (Nolan U Football #1)

1. Sienna

CHAPTER 1

SIENNA

“Say hi to Grammy, Zoey.” I point at my phone screen while my parents wave, their smiles wide and dopey as they try to interact with their granddaughter from miles away.

I miss them.

I want to tell them, but I can’t because convincing them to go on this cruise took so much effort. I can’t go making them feel bad about finally putting themselves first for once.

They left a month ago and get back in February. Six months cruising the globe. It’s pretty epic… and some days I wish I had accepted their offer and gone with them. But I could tell they really needed a break, and the adult-only cruise was the one they wanted the most. They would have compromised for me, but they’ve been doing that so much over the last few years, and I can’t ask them to do it anymore.

So, here I am, with my butt on the couch in the small university town of Nolan and my two-year-old crawling all over my lap while my parents lounge on the upper deck, drinking mimosas and giggling at Zoey’s antics.

“Gamee, look!” Zoey shouts, pulling a face that cracks my parents up.

My dad sticks out his tongue and crosses his eyes, making Zoey giggle.

“Me! Me!” she shouts, sticking her fingers in her mouth and stretching her lips wide while growling like a monster and drooling like a bulldog.

Gross.

No one ever warned me how much fluid came out of baby humans.

I swipe my finger under her chin, catching the worst of her saliva and wiping it on her already stained shirt. Seriously. The washing never ends, and now that I’m not living with my parents anymore, I’m really noticing it. I had no idea how much they’d been doing for me in the background. Moving in with my old family friend, Russell, has been a huge adjustment. This solo mom life is freaking hard.

“Zoey Moey Pa-Poey, my sweet girl, what are you going to do with Mommy today?” my dad asks.

Zoey shrugs, then starts picking her nose.

I gently pull her hand away from her face and brush her messy curls back while I smile at the screen. “We’re thinking maybe the park? It’s a nice, sunny day.”

“Pak!” Zoey raises her hands in the air and squeals. “Les go!”

I wince against the high-pitched sound and grin at her. “We’re just gonna finish talking to Grammy and Papa first, okay?”

“Go now?” Zoey gives me her puppy dog eyes .

I bop her nose with my finger. “Soon.”

“Now.” Her eyebrows dip together, and I laugh at her.

“Soon.”

Her lip starts to pull into that cute little pout of hers—manipulation number three. “Now.”

I give her a pointed look. “Soon.”

“You can get going if you want, sweetie,” Mom assures me, but I’m not letting my two-year-old dictate the schedule.

“She’s okay.” I move my head so I can see around Zoey’s curls and smile at my parents. “We’ll finish up our call and then get ready.”

“Now, Mommy! Now!” Zoey starts to kick her legs, so I lift her off my lap and am about to tell her she can sit and play on the floor until I’m ready, but then Russell breezes in, pushing up his Henley shirt sleeves in that habitual way of his.

“Snacks! Snacks in the kitchen for anyone who needs an energy boost before going to the park!” He’s announcing it to the room as if it’s filled with people.

Zoey’s hand shoots into the air. “Me! Me snacks!”

“Come and get your snacks in the kitchen.”

“Me!” Zoey jumps up and toddles toward him, her arms raised. “Me, Unca Russy. Me.”

“Well, hello, little lady.” He crouches down. “Has somebody got a little hungry in their tummy?” He gives her a light poke in the stomach, and she giggles. “Come on, then.” Hoisting her up, he throws her over his shoulder, eliciting more squealing giggles as he dances her out of the room.

I catch his eye, and he winks at me before calling out, “Hey, Al and Beth. ”

“Hey, Rusty!” They laugh out his nickname in unison, giving me adoring smiles as my new housemate walks away with our little girl.

“Oh, he is the sweetest.” Mom pats her chest, giving me that look I’ve been avoiding every time Russell comes up in conversation.

“Mom, don’t start. Please.”

“I can’t help it. You two would be so perfect together.”

“Mom,” I whine.

“Well, why not? He’s a great guy. He’s got a secure job. He’s just bought his first home. He’s sweet and adores Zoey. He’s so good with her.”

“You could be the cutest family on the block, Blue,” Dad tries to encourage me, but I can’t help wincing at them.

Glancing over my shoulder, I turn back and lower my voice. “I don’t see him that way, you guys. He’s just a friend. If anything, he’s more like a brother.”

“I know you grew up together, but he’s always been sweet on you. It’s so obvious.”

“No, it’s not. Seriously, Mom, we are just friends.” I pull a face. “I’m not attracted to him that way. There’s no chemistry.”

“You could learn to be attracted to him. And chemistry is overrated.”

“Are you serious right now?” I shoot her an incredulous look while Dad laughs and nuzzles her neck.

She flushes red, and I roll my eyes while she giggles and tries to keep talking. “Okay, fine. But just think about it. There’s never been anyone else since…” Her voice trails off with a pained sigh, and I close my eyes, my chest re stricting like it always does when Zoey’s father flashes through my mind.

His face is still so crystal clear in my soul. Probably because I can’t bring myself to delete the last two selfies on my phone. During my raging I-hate-Zander phase, I got rid of most of them, but then I got to my favorite ones and couldn’t move them to my trash. Instead, I stared at our happy faces, laughing at the camera. I was wearing my favorite blue bikini, nestled against his naked torso while a crowd of summer festivalgoers partied behind us. That was one of our best weekends ever.

So yeah, I couldn’t get rid of that photo, or the one of him lying next to me on my bed—the loved-up dreamy looks on our faces said it all. Instead, I brushed my thumb over his gorgeous face and bawled my eyes out.

Our year together had been perfect… until it wasn’t.

My heart spasms, my chest starting to hurt as my broken soul continues to mourn, even after everything that went down. Even though he doesn’t really deserve my tears.

Somedays, I wish I could just stay in that raging inferno of anger and betrayal. It’s less painful than the sorrowful ache.

You know what I really want? To just feel nothing. To be able to hear his name or think about him and feel absolutely nothing. Now that would be bliss.

“You have to move on at some point, sweetheart.” Mom’s voice is soft and encouraging. “Don’t you think it’s time to let go?”

“I want to.” I sniff and swallow, putting my brave face on. “Don’t you think I’ve been trying?”

“You haven’t been on one date. ”

“Because I have a daughter who needs me. I don’t have time to date or put myself out there. Zoey is my sole focus.”

“We get that.” Dad nods. “But what happens when she grows up and doesn’t need you anymore? What then?”

Sudden tears make my eyes burn, my throat swelling uncomfortably as I try to counter their questions.

Don’t make me think about my baby girl growing up and leaving me! She’s the best thing in my life!

“Just think about it, Blue. Okay?” Dad’s expression is so sweet, I wish I could jump through the phone screen and hide away in one of his big hugs. He always gives the best hugs.

Mom rests her head on his broad shoulder. “Rusty is a good guy. He’s seriously the best.”

“Mom, stop.”

“Okay, fine. If not him, then someone else. Just promise me you’ll stay open to the idea of falling in love again. I know you got burned once and you’re afraid to move on, but there are good people out there, and one of them is just waiting for you to find him.”

How do I even respond to that?

Romance is the last thing on my mind right now.

Don’t they get that I’ve moved to a new town? I know no one except Russell, and simply navigating life is a challenge all its own. I don’t have the time or brainpower for romance. Zoey takes most of my attention. When would I even fit a date in?

And just to prove my point, Zoey runs back into the room singing, “Pak, pak, pak!”

Jumping onto my lap, she accidentally digs her knee into my stomach, and I let out a soft “Oof” before wrapping up the call.

“Love you, girls!” Mom and Dad wave and blow kisses at us.

We do the same and I hang up, trying to shake off my parents’ unsettling suggestions.

Romance. Love.

Seriously. They’re delusional.

“So, you guys ready to go?” Russell claps his hands together.

I look up from the couch at him, forcing a smile. I didn’t realize he wanted to come too. Why am I not jumping all over the idea? It’s always handy having two sets of eyes on my little girl.

But Mom’s comments have really thrown me.

Is he really sweet on me?

My stomach curls into an uncomfortable knot.

Ugh, Russell crushing on me would be so awkward. I just want to be friends with the guy. He’s helping me out while my parents are away. That’s it.

When he suggested I move in with him, I figured why not? We’ve been friends forever. I trust him like a brother. He could help with Zoey. Logically, it works.

But if I’d realized he had a thing for me, I wouldn’t have said yes.

Please let my mother be delusional. I so don’t want to have to deal with this!

I shake my head and smile at Russell. “You don’t have to come. I know you’ve had a really busy week, and it’s only going to get more hectic as the hockey season kicks into full swing. You should take the chance to put your feet up and relax. Why don’t you watch one of those documentaries you love?”

His eyes dart to the TV. I knew he’d love my doco suggestion. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, totally. We’ll be about an hour, so you should seriously take the chance to get yourself a little peace and quiet.” I bulge my eyes at him while Zoey dances around my feet, still singing the word “pak” and getting louder by the second.

He laughs, brushing his fingers through her curls and smiling at me. “As long as you’re sure.”

“Yeah, totally. I can handle the park on my own. I totally know the way now and promise not to get lost this time.”

He gives me a skeptical smirk. “Just call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Absolutely.” Picking up my daughter, I perch her on my hip and walk out of the room to get ready, relieved that Russell didn’t insist on coming with us like he did last time.

As soon as Zoey is geared up for the park, smelling like sunscreen and wearing the cute little hat Russell bought her last week, I walk her out to the main living area and start buckling her into the stroller.

Russell helps me carry the stroller down the two front steps and squints against the sunshine as he gazes down at me. “Promise to call me if you need me?”

“Of course.” I try to make my smile as broad and believable as possible.

There’s no way I’m calling him.

I just need some space right now. I can’t have memories of Zander skipping through my head while spending time with the man my parents think is a perfect fit for me.

Honestly. Why would they think that?

Russell is like my big bro. A cousin. I’ve never once been attracted to him.

I don’t want him to be anything more than my buddy.

“Have fun, family.” He leans down and kisses my cheek.

Gripping the stroller handles, I force my smile to stay in place as he pecks Zoey’s nose, then waves us off.

I can feel his eyes watching me the entire way down the street.