Chapter 40
Claire
I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous about going to my parents’ house.
Then again, I’ve never done anything that would make them upset.
Well, there was that time when I got into a fender bender one week after getting my driver’s license.
That time, they were pretty upset but kept their cool and helped me figure out what the next steps were.
This time, I think I’m going to break their hearts.
“Hey, guys,” I call as I enter the front door and kick off my shoes.
My mom pops out of the laundry room. “Claire? What are you doing here?”
Oh, nothing. Simply shattering your dreams and bringing misery upon your day. “Just wanted to say hi, have a quick chat. Is Dad around?”
“He’s in the backyard. I’ll go get him.” She leaves me for a minute.
This is so awkward. Standing around, waiting for them to come, my heart nearly explodes in my chest. I will myself to steady my breaths so my voice doesn’t come out all shaky. It’s hard, feeling so certain of my decision, yet uneasy about sharing it with the people I love.
Is this how Annie felt? Is this why she just ran instead of having the hard conversation?
I won’t lie—it’s tempting to just run away from everything and start over somewhere else. Away from my parents, away from Zach and Mike and Julie. I’d want Ryan there, of course, but who knows how he feels about me right now.
But no. I need to be brave and face the consequences, and in this case, that means boldly telling my parents what I’ve decided.
Instead of disappearing, like Annie, I can hope to avoid completely damaging our relationship.
Maybe they won’t understand, but at least we can have mutual respect for each other.
That’s the goal, after all. Respect. Love. Peace in the family.
I remind myself of these things as I watch my parents enter the foyer. Their worried glances tell me they know this isn’t an ordinary hangout.
“Let’s sit down,” I say, gesturing to the living room. My parents follow me to their couches, and they sit on one together while I sit in the armchair.
“What’s going on, hon?” Dad asks.
I inhale, then let out the words. “I need to talk to you guys about the wedding.”
They wait for me to continue.
“Zach and I are not getting married.”
Dad raises his brows, and Mom covers her mouth with her hands.
“But Claire Bear, why?” she asks, her voice soft.
“Because we’re not right for each other,” I say. The words come out a lot more easily than I expected. “Because I don’t love him the way I should love my husband.”
She shakes her head and lowers her hands. “We talked about this. It’s just a rough patch. You’ll—”
“No, Mom. It’s not just a patch. It’s been months, even before the engagement.” I sit forward and take her hand in mine. “I only kept going because I knew how happy it made you. But it’s not the right thing for me.”
She smiles at me, full of optimism and hope. “How about you and Zach go out on a date? Just the two of you, a nice evening out. On us. You can talk through it all, and I’m sure you’ll see that you’re being rash.”
“It’s already done,” I say. “I talked to Zach this morning. Mike and Julie, too.”
Mom gapes at me. “You told them before us?”
“Well, yeah. I figured Zach should be the first to know.”
“You didn’t even ask what we thought!” She stands and puts her hands on her hips. “I could have helped you see that you’re making a mistake.”
“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you!” I inhale and exhale again, willing myself to calm down instead of matching her frantic energy.
I knew she’d be upset, but I didn’t think it would be to this degree.
My mother, who prides herself on her calm demeanor, is losing her cool.
And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t shake me, too.
But I have to maintain control. So in a calmer voice, I say, “I’m sorry you’re so upset.
But I know this is right. And it’s my life, my marriage, and my decision.
I don’t want to hurt you. But I cannot marry Zach. ”
Mom pauses, holding my gaze, and then rushes out of the room, unable to control her reaction anymore. I watch her leave and hear her running up the stairs, then look over at my dad. I can’t read his expression.
He looks at me carefully, then gives me a sad smile. “I’m proud of you, kiddo.”
My eyes widen. “Wait, what?”
He nods. “I’m proud of you. I’ve been wanting to sit you down for the last few weeks to have this conversation, but I didn’t have the guts to do it.
” He gestures up toward their bedroom. “Mom will see it, too. She needs some time to process it, and I’ll work on her.
She’s been looking through rose-colored glasses, but I’ve seen the way you two are around each other.
That’s not the way an engaged couple should act.
You guys are more like siblings than fiancés. ”
I grimace, but that’s exactly how it feels.
“You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel special, and I don’t think Zach made you feel that way. I also didn’t want you supporting him while he’s off doing who knows what, masquerading as an entrepreneur. So all in all, yeah. This was the right thing to do.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I say quietly. “And I know there’s a lot of money involved, so I’m happy to help, and—”
He holds up a hand. “Don’t even worry about it.”
“I want to contribute.”
“Sure. If that’ll make you feel better. But we can just throw the anniversary party Mom and I have been putting off. It’ll all work out.”
“I hope so.” I bite the inside of my cheek. I feel so good getting this out that I can’t control the next secret that comes out of my mouth. “Annie is staying with me.”
He raises his brows again. “Oh, really?”
I nod. “It’s been really nice. I still don’t think she should have left the way she did, just running off without telling anyone, but…considering Mom’s reaction…”
Dad nods. “Yeah. I know. So with all that in mind, I’m glad you still came and talked to us.”
“Me, too.”
We sit in silence for another few seconds, and I feel better. I’m glad I told them about the wedding, and I’m relieved I told my dad about Annie. He can tell Mom at some point once she’s calmed down.
Now I want everything out in the open.
“There’s one more thing,” I say, my stomach twisting. I say the words quickly before I can swallow them down. “I wrote a book.”
“Yeah?” His smile reappears. “What kind of book?”
“A Young Adult, dystopian future kind of thing.”
He holds my gaze for a minute, and I see pride in his eyes. “I’d love to read it.”
I laugh. “I don’t know about that. You might not want to read all the parts about teenagers kissing, and the cheesy way they save the world.”
He puts a hand on my knee. “I want to read it,” he repeats, emphasizing the words carefully.
My eyes well up with tears. “I thought you’d think it was dumb.”
He furrows his brow. “Why would that be dumb?”
“Because I already have a job. And it’s not like I’m trying to become a full-time writer. I just want to do something I enjoy, something to fill my time outside of work, you know?”
He gestures up at the TV. “And my hobby is watching old Rush concerts. Your hobby is your hobby. Why should anyone judge you for that?”
I shrug, knowing there are reasons I’ve told myself for years why I couldn’t share this with my parents and realizing they were all lies I’ve told myself. That making up imaginary people and worlds is a waste of time, and I should be focusing on what’s happening in front of me.
But there’s been one person who knew about this all along and supported me every step of the way.
And he isn’t here.
Sometimes I swear my dad can read my mind, because he tilts his head to the side. “Claire, is there someone else?”
I bite my lip. I’ve already been fighting tears for the last few minutes, and this might send me over the edge. I just nod.
“Does he know?” Dad asks.
I shake my head and swallow. “No. I wanted to get everything cleared out before…”
“Before what?”
That’s a great question. Because what do I do now? Text Ryan? Call him? “I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you tell me about him? And we’ll make a plan.”
I smile at Dad, and a stray tear falls down my cheek. “That sounds great.”