The Funny Thing About Love

36. Charlie

36

CHARLIE

‘I literally don’t even know who this guy is.’ Anna points at the photo Blu-Tacked to the writers’-room wall. ‘Seriously – who is he?’

‘He’s that long-jump dude, isn’t he?’ Kerri says. ‘He won Gold at the Commonwealth Games last summer? Can’t remember his name though.’

‘Gulliver White,’ Nate announces, striding into the room and throwing a load of newspapers and files down onto the table.

It’s Monday morning, and we’ve all just been called into the writers’ meeting to discuss a last-minute change to this week’s guest host. As tradition dictates, I am dividing my time between paying attention and glancing through the glass walls to see if Nell might show up. I haven’t seen her yet this morning. I want to know how the rest of her weekend with Will was.

‘Weren’t we supposed to have Tom Hiddleston hosting this week?’ Noah asks.

‘We were,’ Nate replies, ‘but Tom Hiddleston’s agent texted me yesterday to say Tom Hiddleston’s got a chest infection and won’t be able to do it.’

‘Classic Hiddleston,’ sighs Talia.

‘But I had a Loki sketch ready to pitch and everything!’ Rich groans.

Nate jabs his Sharpie at the photo of the good-looking athlete on the wall. ‘Well, shelve it, because apparently the best we can do as a last-minute replacement is Team GB long-jump hero Gulliver White.’

‘Is he actually in the slightest bit funny?’ Rich asks.

‘I saw him on Would I Lie to You? once,’ I offer.

‘Was he any good?’

‘Can’t remember. So probably not, no.’

Everyone laughs, and Nate says, ‘Bishi’s looking into other options, but for now, let’s look at Gulliver White’s positives.’ He gestures at the photo again. ‘He’s well spoken, he’s likeable and he’s got a chin like Desperate Dan.’

‘Ugh,’ Noah rolls his eyes. ‘But sportsmen are always so ridiculously dull.’

‘Don’t be sexist, Noah,’ Talia says sternly. ‘Sportswomen are just as dull as sportsmen.’

Everyone laughs and Noah holds up his hands. ‘Fair. Apologies. Sportspeople are ridiculously dull.’

‘Well, maybe we can get a sketch out of that?’ Nate suggests, clicking the lid off his marker pen and approaching the whiteboard. ‘Like a thing about why sportspeople never seem to have anything interesting to say?’

‘I’m sure Gulliver White will love that,’ Rich shoots back.

Nate glares at him and starts spreading the newspapers around the table. ‘OK, well, let’s at least go through the news and see if there’s anything we can use in there . . .’

‘Can we have coffee first?’ Noah moans, pulling a copy of the Guardian towards him. ‘I swear I’m still knackered from our Jed Greening all-nighter.’

Nate looks over at me. ‘Charlie, mate – would you mind rustling up a few coffees?’

‘Of course, yeah.’

Out in the kitchen, I put some water on to boil and grab mugs from the cupboard. I’m itching to see Nell, and as the kettle rumbles I wonder if maybe I should nip down to her desk to say hi. Or maybe make her a coffee too, and bring it to her. Yeah, that would –

‘Hey!’

A female voice comes from behind me. I spin round, and my stomach flips – but it’s not Nell.

‘Oh, Daphne . . . Hi!’

Granted, my memories of Thursday night are a bit woozy, but she looks even better than I remember. Her honey-coloured hair seems like it’s been curled or something, and it bounces at the shoulders of her T-shirt. Plus, she’s wearing these tight black jeans that show off her – and there’s no other way to put this – frankly incredible bum.

‘The other night was fun,’ she says, squeezing past me to get a mug from the cupboard.

The smell of her perfume shoots the image of us in that photo booth straight into my head: her lips on mine, her body pressed against me as she sat on my lap. The pictures are still in my jacket pocket at home.

‘Yeah, it was cool,’ I say, as the memory of kissing her fizzes inside me again. I can’t deny that it felt good. But I also can’t deny that it’s Nell I’ve been thinking about all weekend, not Daphne.

She drops a herbal teabag into her mug. ‘So, how’s the show? Who’s hosting this week?’

‘This guy Gulliver White?’

‘Oh yeah, the Team GB guy, right? He’s sexy.’

Pathetically, I find her just saying the word ‘sexy’, well . . . sexy. The kettle clicks off and I offer her the first pour.

‘So, how’s things with you?’ I ask. ‘How’s Marie?’

Daphne rolls her eyes at the mention of her boss. ‘Being a bitch, as always.’ There’s a noise at the door and she flinches as she turns round. ‘Shit, I should probably keep my voice down.’

But Marie isn’t there. Nell is.