The Girl Most Likely To

Chapter Twenty-Two

Getting to LAX was a behemoth task. Nat was frazzled from the constant notifications she was receiving from her own team. Her publicist kept texting a variety of talking points to control the narrative because news outlets had moved on to theorizing about the demise of Beyond the Dark. In addition to FreeStream getting folded into ABN, there were baseless rumors that Nat was a diva on set. According to some “sources,”

Nat fought with directors and rewrote her own lines. The rumors spun out of control from there.

A group of fans created an online campaign for another streamer to pick up the show, which Nat found endearing but which also brought a whole new level of attention that would have to be addressed. Nat was going to be asked about it, and she wouldn’t have any answers. Entertainment didn’t move that quickly, even for shows with a devoted fan base. When it came down to it, if it didn’t bring in a profit, Beyond the Dark was unlikely to find a new home.

I had to help Nat pack her clothes and make a last-minute call to her stylist to confirm that I had the right shoes and accessories. I wrote down all the designers’ names so that Nat could credit them properly when she inevitably got hard-hitting questions about her outfit on the red carpet. This left me with no time to curate my own suitcase, so I threw whatever I could into it. Nat and I thought we’d be safe once we got to the airport, but as soon as she stepped out of our Uber, paparazzi swarmed around her.

“Natalie!”

Cameras flashed from every direction. “Look here!”

“Natalie!”

some pushy man shouted from behind a camera. “Sorry that your show was canceled. How are you feeling?”

“Sad, of course,”

Nat said, pushing up her sunglasses. “There were more adventures left for our space crew, but hopefully we can find a new home.”

She smiled politely and waved off any questions as she walked in.

I extended my arm and acted as a human buffer, clearing the way for Nat. Luckily, the assholes didn’t follow us inside. They were probably staking out, hoping to catch someone more famous going to South by Southwest.

Once we were a safe distance away, Nat dropped the facade. “Damn. That’s never happened before. Are you okay?”

I nodded, though if I never experienced that again, I’d be happy.

I directed Nat to the PreCheck line. “Does this mean you’ve made it? Have you graduated to the B list?”

“Does it?”

Nat’s eyebrows lifted. I couldn’t tell by her expression if she was excited or scared. “If this is a preview, I better be on top of my game for the red carpet.”

We made it to our flight. Nat took the window seat and inserted her earplugs. “I need to center myself. Flying makes me nervous.”

She closed her eyes, but left one last instruction. “Let me know when they come by with drinks.”

Wow. I made the choice to come on as her personal assistant out of friendship, but somehow I didn’t think I’d actually feel like her assistant. It wasn’t as nice as accompanying her as a plus-one.

“Nat.”

Only her left eye opened. “I was thinking about flying home after South by Southwest.”

I had Nat’s full attention now. “So you can get back to Danny?”

“That’s not why,”

I said as I put my phone on airplane mode. A text from Danny came through right before I disconnected from the Wi-Fi.

Danny: Text me when you get there ?

Nat hovered over the armrest. “Is that a heart I see?”

“That’s not the whole reason.”

I flipped my phone around before I stared at the text any longer. “I need some time to focus on myself for a while.”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing?”

“No, not really.”

I had thought that going to the reunion would open up some clues to regaining my confidence. What it really showed me was that I’d been too afraid for too long to make the changes I needed to in life. There was no joy in dedicating my energy to meaningless awards or places that didn’t value me. Why was I spending so much time feeling like I’d failed for not advancing my career in a company that cared more about the bottom line than it did about me? I had to redefine what would make me happy. The only person who could answer that was me.

“You’re free to join me in meditation,”

Nat offered, shutting her eyes once more.

“Not to sound ungrateful for the invitation, but listening to my own breathing isn’t my thing.”

“So what’s your plan? Are you going to find a younger man and get your groove back? Or will you be eating, praying, and loving through your self-discovery?”

Nat knew I never needed an excuse to stuff my face with pasta. “Are you done?”

“Aw, come on,”

she said in between breaths. “Let me have a little fun.”

“What about the fun you had with Bo?”

Nat had dodged every question about Bo since the reunion. That could only mean one thing. It was either really good or really bad.

Nat shushed me as she ducked in her seat. “Don’t say that so loud. I don’t want to see that in TMZ tomorrow. That was strictly a onetime thing.”

Nat was a good actress. To an onlooker, she was the picture of serenity. Her face was content and her breath even, but I heard that dreamy sigh. She couldn’t fool me. “It was good, wasn’t it?”

“Oh my god.”

Nat hid behind her hands. “Part of me is so grossed out that I—you know—with Bo.”

Her body clenched like she might dry-heave. “But why is he so hot now?”

It was one of life’s wonders.

“There, there,”

I said, pretending to comfort her. “There are worse things than having a night of passion with a hot man.”

“You cannot tell a soul!”

Nat groaned, but soon her body shook with laughter. “Why do we do this to ourselves?”

I put my headphones on and selected my in-flight movie. “I guess we’re never too old to be young and dumb again.”

Once we got into the hotel room, I started unpacking. Nat sat at the end of the bed and immediately popped back up after checking her phone. “The cast is getting together for dinner. Do you want to come?”

The Illustrious Five, the movie that Nat was promoting, had been filmed over a year ago. From the stories Nat told me, it seemed that their fictional heist crew had become a tight group. I didn’t want to impose. I’d be the lone assistant/friend sixth-wheeling their reunion.

I hung one of Nat’s shirts. “I’ll grab something later. I’m drained from the flight.”

“Let me know if you change your mind. When you have a sec, can you check where we can get a green juice around here and a good breakfast sandwich? Gluten-free, of course.”

Nat made her way toward the door, but came to a halt behind me. “Ooh, can you iron that for me?”

I signed up for this. I signed up for this. “Yes. No problem.”

My time as an assistant was going to be over soon, so I wasn’t going to stress over the niggling annoyance of dealing with Nat’s laundry. After she left, I finally had a chance to text Danny.

Rachel: Hi. I made it to the hotel.

Danny: Good. How is it so far?

Rachel: Good

Minutes passed. It felt like a black hole had opened and my message fell into the void. What happened? We used to be good at this.

Danny: Sorry. I’m not as fast at texting

I smiled, imagining Danny fumbling on his phone. I couldn’t compare it to our AIM days. We weren’t sitting around typing on our keyboards anymore.

Danny: Will you get to watch any films while you’re there?

Rachel: Doubt it

Unfortunately, Nat’s days were filled with press and events. If I hadn’t been obligated to keep her on schedule, I would’ve tried to attend a screening. I’d only been to South by Southwest once before, when a producer friend of mine offered me a pass to the film and TV festival. I finally used some PTO to attend and spent the whole time watching movies. Those were the days.

Danny: You can’t sneak out?

Rachel: You’re a bad influence

Danny: Says the person who ran from the principal

Danny: and jumped in a pool

Rachel: don’t you like it when I’m wet

Danny: dang Rachel Dang

Rachel: have I tainted your virgin eyes?

Danny: where else would you like to taint me?

My thumbs paused. What had gotten into him? I checked the time. Wasn’t he at work?

I wasn’t used to seeing this side of Danny, but I liked it. I started typing all the things that made Danny sexy. The confidence he had in his own skin. It showed in the way he moved easily wherever he was. How his mouth always landed somewhere that’d make me pause to savor it a little longer. How his arms were my favorite place to be. How being with him made me excited about what was next.

I stopped myself. I’d written a thesis by texting standards. Seeing the words on my phone screen gave me secondhand embarrassment. What started as a playful attempt at sexting had turned into something that made me feel even more naked. There was a level of commitment involved when putting feelings into written words, and I wasn’t sure if I could do that just yet. I backspaced as fast as I could.

My phone rang. It was Angela. I’d been anticipating her call. My parents had been eerily silent since I left their house a week ago. That could only mean one thing. They were complaining about me to Angela.

“Rach. Mom and Dad keep calling me, and it’s getting annoying,”

she said, jumping right into it. “What do you want me to do?”

“Ignore them,”

I said. I didn’t need her to be my PR person. “I’ll handle it.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one they’ve been calling.”

Angela paused as some fumbling and tapping sounds came through. “See? They’re calling me right now.”

She sighed. “Rach, they just want to know if you’ll be okay. If not, they’re going to tell you to move back home to save money.”

It was a generous offer, but I wasn’t jumping at the chance to be treated like a kid 24/7. It was enough to know that I had somewhere to go if it came down to it. “No, I’ll find something soon.”

“I’ll keep my eye out for any jobs,”

she offered. “If you need to, you can crash at my place.”

“No, that’s okay,”

I replied. The truth was, even though the entertainment industry had chewed me up and spat me out, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. I’d put too much into it to let it go so easily. But I still had to figure out how to make work a part of my life instead of my entire life.

“You know that’s not even half of it. Who’s the guy who showed up at the house that Ma keeps going on and on about?”

Angela gave herself away with that sly tone. She was asking for herself as much as she was asking on my parents’ behalf.

“Danny.”

“Am I supposed to know who Danny is?”

“He’s a friend from high school.”

“A friend from high school who drove you home early in the morning after you stayed out last night? Who, according to Dad, waited for you like a puppy in the driveway?”

There was no use denying it, so I gave Angela a truncated version of our relationship timeline. “It’s still very new.”

“Uh, I don’t know how new it can be if you’ve known him since you were fourteen and you slept over at his place. I’m assuming you showed him your flower.”

“Oh god,”

I muttered while Angela cackled like an evil witch. “You’re the worst.”

“I can tell you like him,”

Angela mused once she settled down. “You never talked about Josh like that before.”

I wasn’t sure if I should be worried that Angela picked up on that so quickly. Danny was different, though. He occupied his own section of my heart. But since she seemed to know me so well, maybe she could help me figure my life out. I could use a blueprint. “Can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“How do you do it all? You’re married. You’re a parent. You have a whole career.”

I only knew how to do one of those things. “How do you juggle all of that?”

“Uh . . .”

Angela laughed. “I don’t do it all well, and I don’t do it all at the same time. There aren’t enough hours in the day. You know that. You’ve seen my messy house. Why are you asking me all of a sudden?”

“I want to have it all too,”

I admitted. “I don’t know how, though. Nothing seems to stick these days.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Rach. There are no right or wrong answers with this stuff. You can only plan for so much. My only advice is, once you find a good one, whether it’s a job or a person, you hold on to them tight for as long as you can. After that, it’s kinda like anything else you’ve ever done. You have to keep working at it, and ideally, you get better at it. That’s all we can ever do.”

“I guess,”

I replied. None of that helped me feel better, but Angela was right. She couldn’t give me a clear answer because it wasn’t hers to give. I had to come up with it myself. Texts started coming through, so I ended my call with Angela. “I have to go. Don’t pick up any more of Ma’s phone calls.”

Angela scoffed. “Like that would solve anything. Call me if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

I hung up and swiped my screen.

Danny: that bad huh? it sounded better in my head.

Was it bad that I laughed?

Rachel: sorry. my sister called

Danny: I was starting to think you forgot about me

Rachel: never

But given Nat’s hectic schedule in the coming days, I had to set Danny’s expectations straight.

Rachel: I won’t be able to check my phone as much once Nat starts her appearances

Rachel: but don’t let that stop you, if you want to send me a reminder every now and then

Danny: is that your way of requesting nudes?

Rachel: I was thinking more of a hello, how’s your day kind of update but by all means.

Danny: your virgin eyes are about to get tainted

Rachel: can’t wait