CHAPTER SIX
J eremy
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F inding out the Ravens didn t recognize federal holidays was not how Jeremy thought he d start his morning. He stared Jean down over his mug of coffee, willing the caffeine to hit his system a little faster so he could keep up with Jean s startled anger. Maybe someone should have reminded him that the team wouldn t have practice on Wednesday, but who would have guessed he needed the heads-up? Jean was French, but he d been in the United States long enough to know about the 4 th of July.
It s a holiday, Jeremy said, for the third time.
Every year? Jean demanded.
Like clockwork, Cat said as she cheerily pushed eggs around a pan. Considering the role France played in the war, you should consider it your patriotic duty to spend today partying.
Missing practice for something that happened two hundred years ago is irresponsible.
You really are a ray of light sometimes, Laila said. She set her coffee aside and cradled her face in her hand to consider him. If this doesn t count as a legitimate holiday at Edgar Allan, then what does? New Year s and Christmas, I assume, but what...
Jeremy didn t like the way she trailed off, but he knocked back the rest of his coffee before looking between them. The stubborn set of Jean s jaw was answer enough, but Jean didn t hesitate to spell it out: Ravens cannot recognize winter holidays when championships start in January. That time is critical.
They have to have a day off, Laila insisted. Don t tell me they never stop.
For a moment Jeremy feared Jean s answer, but then Jean said, The last day of each month and first four days after finals are enforced recovery periods.
Jeremy tested the weight of the coffee pot but didn t refill his mug yet. When else?
Jean looked over at him. When else what?
Good lord, Cat said. Effective immediately you are required to acknowledge every major holiday. When s your birthday?
November.
Cat waited, but nothing else was forthcoming. Like all thirty days of it, or do you want to narrow it down some for me?
Jean tipped his head as he thought, and Jeremy wished he d find a trace of suspicion on Jean s face. Reticence due to distrust would be better than whatever this was. But Jean kept thinking, idly tapping a thumb to the island as he worked through it, and he came up emptyhanded. November, he said again, and shrugged his unconcern. It will be on my file somewhere, perhaps.
You don t know your own birthday? Jeremy asked.
Jean looked at him. Why would I? It is irrelevant at Evermore.
Not recognizing it and not knowing it at all are two very different problems, Jeremy said. Jean tried waving him off, so Jeremy tried, Kevin knows his birthday, and he was at Evermore longer than you were.
Jean s stare was steady. And?
The challenge in that simple response made Jeremy hesitate. He conceded with a weary, And he refuses to celebrate it. But you know why as well as I do, I assume. Jean didn t answer, but he did look away. Jeremy tried again: Even if the Ravens didn t care for birthdays, you were at home until you were fourteen. When it was clear Jean was waiting for him to get to the point, Jeremy was forced to draw the only conclusion he could: You mean they didn t do anything for it, either. Really? Your own family?
And I thought your parents were assholes, Cat commented, grimacing at Jeremy.
Laila didn t even hesitate. They are.
Thanks, guys, Jeremy said as he refilled his mug.
Yeah, anytime. Cat sounded distracted as she scrolled through her phone. Jeremy was halfway back to the island with his drink when Cat dialed out, and he didn t miss the way Jean went tense at her cheery, Heyyy, Coach. Are you busy? I was hoping you could look something up for us. She waved off Jean when he reached for her phone. Did Edgar Allan tell you when Jean s birthday is? Yeah, we already tried that. Three guesses as to why I m asking you.
Jean swore quietly and put space between them. Jeremy put out a hand, trying to beckon him over, but Jean wasn t getting anywhere near Cat until she hung up.
Oh, shit, really? Awesome, thanks, you re the best. Cat set her phone aside, beaming with triumph. Lisinski says it s on the ninth.
You can t just call a coach, Jean insisted.
I can and I did. Cat went to mark the calendar. Why else would I have their numbers, if I wasn t allowed to use them? Look! She tapped the square she d written Jean s name on before counting ahead a few spaces. You re three days before Cody. We could have a double birthday bash and go all out.
She started back toward July one month at a time and paused on August. Jeremy couldn t read her notes from the island, but he knew in a glance what was on the page already. August 27 th was the first day of classes, and two weeks before that was Jean and Kevin s joint interview. Cat tapped the 11 th , decided not to bring it up, and came back to July at last. The only thing she d written on this month was a starred note at the bottom: a reminder that someone ought to check in with the Foxes on July 23 rd .
Coming up quick, Cat said, distracted by the same set of days. She ran her finger along the week and sent a grim look over her shoulder at Jeremy. Has Kevin said anything about it yet?
No, Jeremy said, and admitted, I haven t asked him. I m not sure what to say.
Hope your teammate gets acquitted, XOXO ? Cat suggested as she pushed away from the calendar. Word online is Aaron waived his right to a jury, but I can t track those rumors back to a credible source yet. Risky business, trusting your verdict to a single man, but it s probably for the best considering the Foxes reputation. Who could they trust to be fair?
Laila sighed. They really can t catch a break, can they?
Maybe this will be their year, Jeremy said.
Jean waved that aside. Last year was their year.
Sure, Laila said dryly. Ignoring the fatal overdose, the kidnapping, the murder charges, the rampant campus vandalization, and-Andrew, she said, with an uncomfortable pause. Great year for them otherwise.
They won finals, Jean pointed out.
Laila looked to the ceiling for patience. Oh, right. How could I have forgotten?
Seeing how you needlessly threw away your season against them, I would hope you remembered.
Jeremy set his coffee down and fixed Jean with a serious look. Jean, look at me, he said, and waited until Jean obediently gave him his undivided attention. It s important to me that you understand we didn t throw anything away.
Never before in Class I history has a team done what the Foxes pulled off last year. And yeah, they were building on momentum from the year before, and Kevin made a major difference on the lineup, but that only explains so much. We wanted to understand that meteoric rise, so we needed to test ourselves against them at their level. We weren t sure we d ever get the chance again. Who s to say they can pull it off two years in a row, right?
You gambled and you lost.
The Ravens didn t, but so did they, Jeremy pointed out. Jean looked away: not in avoidance, but in thought. Jeremy gave him a few seconds to interject before continuing. We can do what the Ravens can t, what they ve never learned how: we can weather a loss and learn from every team we face. We re stronger for playing against the Foxes, and we re stronger for losing. It s what we needed, so we ll focus on that golden opportunity instead of the disappointing outcome. If Palmetto makes it that far again, I have every faith we can come out on top.
If they do, Kevin s going to be your problem, Cat said to Jean. It was a bold assumption to make when Jean would start the year as a sub, but Jeremy couldn t imagine Rhemann making any other decision. Can you handle him?
Jean was honest enough to say, Unknown, considering the Trojans restrictions. First I have to destroy Allen.
Derrick? Jeremy asked, startled. What did he do to you?
He thinks he s better than me, Jean said, with a sour look. He tapped another agitated beat on the side of his mug and said, I don t face him enough on the court. I need to study more games to see how he plays outside of drills. No practice at all today?
No practice at all, Jeremy confirmed.
Jean said something that sounded rude and left the room. Cat sent an exasperated look after him where she was halfway through dishing up their breakfast, then quirked a brow at Jeremy and asked, When are you gonna tell him we re going to Santa Monica for the fireworks?
Maybe when we re putting him in the car, Jeremy suggested.
Laila smiled. At least let him watch a match or two first. It ll calm him down.
One can hope. Jeremy held out his hand for Jean s plate. Do you need the TV, or can I plant him in front of it?
All yours, she said, so Jeremy went to pry Jean off his laptop.
This wasn t how he d planned to spend his morning, but once Jeremy got a game going on the TV it was easy to settle in beside Jean on the couch. He d picked a game at random, but by ten minutes in he remembered the match and was pleased with his choice.
More interesting than the game was how Jean interacted with it. He d been silently avoidant with every movie they inflicted on him, but Jean was hooked on this from the start. He peppered the match with idle observations and rude commentary, and even tried to hush the commentators when they talked over him with an opposing opinion. It was more endearing than it should be, and Jeremy hid a smile against his long-empty mug whenever Jean got particularly rude.
When on-screen Jeremy missed a shot he really shouldn t have, Jean turned to stare at him. He looked so genuinely scandalized Jeremy couldn t help but laugh. Sorry. He and I have history, so I was distracted by our conversation. More specifically, Ivan Faser had been listing everything he d let Jeremy do to him if Jeremy came by his hotel room after the match. Jeremy attempted a solemn look and crossed his heart. Won t happen again, scout s honor.
Past-Jeremy redeemed himself ten minutes later when he managed to escape both defensemen and score. The goalkeeper wasn t expecting him to make it from that angle or distance, and he smashed his racquet against the floor in frustration.
Jeremy grinned over at Jean and said, That makes up for the last fumble, right?
A solid play can t erase a critical mistake, Jean said. Jeremy rolled his eyes and sank back to his side of the couch. He was nearly settled when Jean said, But most of the time you are very good.
It wasn t the words that set his heart tripping; Jeremy had heard variations of the same compliment for years from teammates and strangers alike. It was the heavy satisfaction in his tone that put a needy heat in Jeremy s stomach. Jeremy opened his mouth, closed it again, and settled on a bright, Thanks! I try my best. Hey, want some water? I was about to go get some.
Yes, Jean said, and Jeremy escaped the room before he said something they d both regret.
He was putting the pitcher back when he noticed an odd brown square poking out from behind the fridge. A careful tug revealed a foot, and Jeremy laughed when he realized what he was looking at. He slid the standee out of its hiding spot and dusted the cardboard off with a careful hand. Barkbark looked none the worse for wear for the misadventure: whatever fit of pique drove Jean to hide it there, he d at least been careful not to scratch the dog in the process.
He cupped both glasses in one hand, checked to make sure his grip was good, and carried Barkbark back to the living room with him.
Look who wants to watch the game with us, Jeremy said, and put the dog on the empty cushion between them. The sidelong look Jean gave it said he was considering flinging it across the room like an oversized paper airplane, but he took his water without comment. Jeremy reclaimed his spot and settled down to watch the remainder of the match.
The second game was winding down when Laila popped into the doorway to give them a five-minute warning. She was already dressed to go in her black bathing suit, long legs on full display and hair pulled up into a pinned French braid. A few seconds after she left, the Trojans scored, but Jean didn t even react. He was staring through the TV like he d forgotten where he was.
Jeremy couldn t help himself. Must be nice, liking both. I bet it makes things easier.
Stop dyeing your hair. The bleach is rotting your brain, Jean said, with more acrimony than Jeremy thought his comment warranted. Why is she dressed like that?
I ll tell you in five minutes, Jeremy promised.
Jean grumbled something rude under his breath but let it slide, and they watched the final two minutes in silence. Jeremy found a new spot for Barkbark before leading Jean to their bedroom, and he explained their plans to spend the afternoon barbecuing and playing beach volleyball. Jean was predictably unimpressed with the plan, but he d been soundly outvoted and wasn t going to stay home by himself. He changed into the coolest clothes he owned while Jeremy slipped into swimming trunks and a tee, and they found the girls waiting for them at the front door.
Cat snagged Jean s wrist and chucked her tote of towels and sunscreen at Jeremy. We ll meet you there! she said as she hauled Jean out the front door behind her. Jeremy caught the door with a foot and saw she d already moved their helmets and jackets out to her motorcycle. Jeremy honestly expected a bit more resistance from Jean, but he hesitated only a moment before taking his helmet from Cat s outstretched hand.
They were gone before Laila had even locked the front door. Laila sent Jeremy a sidelong look and said, Oh, surely this won t backfire on you at all.
She can t even get in, Jeremy pointed out.
Laila only shrugged and followed him to his car. The rest of the floozies would head straight to the beach so they could stake out some sand, but Jeremy s group had a stop to make. Both Mathilda and Warren were at work today, and Bryson was in Edmonton. That left Jeremy s house unattended, so he d offered the use of their grills for dinner. He lived only twelve minutes away from where they were spending the afternoon, so the food would still be hot by the time they lugged it down there.
Holiday traffic made the drive longer than he wanted it to be, and Cat had the advantage of being on a smaller ride. When Jeremy pulled up at his house, the motorcycle was alone out front with a helmet hanging from each handle. Cat didn t have a key to place, and William was out of town for the holiday, so Jeremy assumed Cat and Jean were loitering in the backyard. Instead he found the grill burning unattended.
Jeremy only had a moment to wonder before Cat opened the back door and said, About time! Did you guys walk here? She noted the nonplussed look on his face and jerked a thumb over her shoulder. Dallas let me in, said William told him you d be by to make dinner. Of course he panicked.
She moved aside to let them in. The family chef was hard at work at the kitchen island, sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he shaped patties with his hands. The Trojans had decided on black bean burgers tonight so they could grill theirs and Ananya s all at the same time, and William must have passed that verdict on when enlisting Dallas to the cause. A small pile of cutting boards and knives were off to one side, evidence he had already diced up any possible topping he could think of.
You should be home relaxing today, Jeremy said.
When all the good food is here? Dallas asked. Give me fifteen more minutes and I can start packing everything up for you.
You sure you don t need a hand?
Dallas s smile didn t even waver. Get out of my kitchen, Jeremy.
Cat laughed and hooked an arm through Laila s. Come on, Jean s in the dining room. The normal one.
She hauled Laila out of the room, and Jeremy had no choice but to follow. The door they were looking for was just two down, past the rear closet where the cleaning supplies were kept and the stairs down to the wine cellar. All six seats at the table were empty. Cat didn t look nearly as concerned as she ought to find Jean missing and instead went to pour herself lemonade from the jug sitting in the center of the table.
That s weird, she said when Jeremy turned on her.
You sent him on a tour, Jeremy guessed.
Cat clasped a hand to her chest. Would I have been so bold?
Laila pulled out a chair, silently ceding the search to Jeremy, so Jeremy left them to each other s company. Warren s office door was firmly closed, as was William s bedroom door. The laundry room was of course empty. Jean wasn t in the formal dining room or the day room either.
Jeremy was starting to think he d gone upstairs or ducked into the first-floor bathroom when he found Jean in front of the sitting room fireplace. Most of the mantel was covered in tasteful knickknacks Mathilda s late mother brought home from her various sets, but the centerpiece was a family portrait from eight years ago. Jean was still as stone as he studied it.
Pretty cool stuff, right? Jeremy asked as he approached. He lifted a delicate pipe and showed it off. This is from Eternally Yours. Nan s costar planned on taking it home, but he gave it to her as a parting gift when he heard it was her last film. He set the pipe back and smiled over at Jean, but Jean didn t even glance his way. Jeremy tried again to distract him: I don t know if I ever told you she was an actress? You hate movies so much I didn t think you would care. Angelica Laslo, he said, knowing it would garner no recognition from Jean.
Jean didn t even acknowledge that but said, There are four. He couldn t mean people when there were seven faces in the portrait, except he did: Cat said you only had three.
Siblings, Jeremy realized too late.
Jean lifted the portrait from its spot and tilted it toward Jeremy. Jeremy waited for him to ask, but Jean s finger settled unerringly on Noah s face. He d seen the rest of the family portraits on his self-guided tour, then. This was the only one still on display that Noah was in. Mathilda packed the rest away years ago, claiming she couldn t bear to see his face staring back at her in every room.
Jeremy took the portrait from Jean s unresisting hands and put it back in its spot. He s gone, four years this August. The hoarse edge in his words earned him a pensive look from Jean, but Jeremy feigned not to notice. He cleared his throat as he turned away. Let s see how the burgers are coming along, yeah?
He made it halfway to the door when Jean asked, Does it get easier?
He wished he could pretend he hadn t heard, but his feet betrayed him and went still. When Jeremy turned back, Jean was again studying the portrait like it somehow held all the answers. Why it was so important to him, Jeremy wasn t sure, but Jeremy had asked too much of him this summer to not at least attempt some honesty.
No, Jeremy admitted, and Jean turned his distant stare on Jeremy. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything else that I just-forget, he said, though it was such an awful thing to admit. Then I remember and it s like it happened yesterday. But Dr. Spader said grief isn t supposed to get easier: you just become someone strong enough to weather it. You let the good things and the good days shore you up so the bad days can t tear you down.
Jean considered that, then slowly tapped his fingers to his thumb in turn: one, two, three, four. I think I understand, he said, and started toward Jeremy at last.
They found the girls right where they d left them. Cat looked between them, furrowed brows at odds with the teasing tone she affected. Most people come back from Jeremy s house looking impressed, not like they stepped on some tacks. I thought you said Bryson was out of town this week?
Up in Edmonton, Jeremy agreed. Ready to go?
Yes, Jean said, and Cat frowned but let it slide.
They returned to the kitchen to see Dallas packing a half-dozen Tupperware into a cooler. He glanced up at their approach and rattled off what he d prepped, everything from avocado to two different kinds of onions and five condiments. There were four types of cheese beneath two kinds of lettuce, and fruit salad if they wanted a refreshing dessert. He needed a few seconds to layer more ice on top, then snapped the lid closed and set it near the end of the island. The burgers were packed separately to keep them warm, and he had three packages of buns in with an obscene amount of chips.
Last but not least, Dallas said, taking a mailer off the top of the fridge. William left this for you, Jeremy. Jeremy took it, mystified, but Dallas didn t wait for him to open it. Off you go. Have fun, wear your sunscreen, no drinking and driving.
They left in a chorus of thanks and farewells. Jeremy passed Laila his keys so he could open his package in the passenger seat, and he laughed in delight at the sight of French language lessons. The set included a slim book, but the bulk of the lessons were spread across eight CDs. He showed it off to Laila, who motioned to the radio. The drive was too short to make any real progress, but Laila and Jeremy were content to echo Bonjour, salut at each other as she circled for a parking spot.
Between the four of them it was easy to carry everything to where the rest of the floozies had managed to snag a volleyball net. Cody and Pat were squaring off against Ananya, Min, and Xavier. To make it even, if not at all fair, Min was riding on Xavier s shoulders.
They relinquished the net in favor of stuffing their faces, and Pat produced a football from his bag afterward. To no one s surprise, Jean refused to participate. Cody sat out with him, needing time to recover from the three burgers they d eaten. The rest set to the game with glee, pouncing on each other and kicking sand everywhere. Cat managed to tackle Xavier before he could score to tie the game, and Jeremy scooped her up for a triumphant spin. As he was setting her down again, he caught a glimpse of Cody and Jean.
Cat noticed the immediate change in his mood and turned in his arms to look. Before Jeremy could decide whether he ought to go over there, Cody pushed off the blankets and started their way. Jean looked confused, not angry, but Cody s shoulders were tense. The floozies exchanged startled looks as they collapsed to a tight group, but Cody had eyes only for Xavier.
Jean s pretty riled up about you getting knocked over, seeing how you re on a no-touch jersey at practice, Cody reported. He asked if your heart recovered enough to take a hit like that and whether it was going to be a problem. Your heart! Turns out he s been operating under the assumption this was heart surgery. They waggled a hand toward the twin scars on Xavier s chest. Do you want to handle it, or do you want me to run interference and explain it to him?
Oh, I ve got it, Xavier said. Sub in for me, will you? Pat ll enjoy tackling you more, anyway.
Jesus, Cody said, but obediently took the ball Xavier offered.
Good? Jeremy asked.
Good, Xavier promised as he set off.
They got the game going again, but it was more for show than anything. They missed most of their throws, too distracted sneaking peeks at the other pair. Laila plucked the ball from Min s unresisting fingers and handed it directly to Jeremy. Jean looked baffled as Xavier tried to explain top surgery to him, which was worlds better than disgust, but then he gave a sharp jerk of his hand in violent rejection. Jeremy started that way automatically, but Xavier laughed as he got to his feet.
He jogged back toward them, and Jeremy met him halfway. Xavier paused long enough to say, Since it has no impact on how I play, he says it s my prerogative to fix whatever s broken. He doesn t understand why he should have an opinion on my personal life one way or the other. He smiled, slow and bright, and said, I like him, Jeremy. Let s keep him forever.
That Jean had grasped in seconds what it had taken some of the Trojans weeks or months to come to terms with left Jeremy almost dizzy with relief. That s the plan, he said, and continued toward Jean alone.
Jean scowled as Jeremy dropped down beside him. He said I didn t belong on the Ravens. That is not the compliment you all seem to think it is.
Jeremy smiled. Sorry. We ll try to be better about that.
I don t think you will, Jean accused him.
Jeremy drew a sun in the sand with his finger and admitted, Probably not.
Jean sighed, tired and aggrieved, but let it slide without further comment. They watched their teammates cavort around until it was time to pack up and move for the fireworks. The cooler s ice was dumped in the gutter to melt while the empty bags were tossed into Jeremy s trunk, and Cody stole the last package of cheese slices to eat on the ride.
One of the local high schools had offered up their football field for people to party in, and the place was packed by the time they made it over there. Parking was free, but entry to the field had a fee. The attendant gave Jeremy a funny look when he asked about receipts, so Laila acquired yellow wristbands for everyone in his group. A security guard ensured all bands were in place before letting them through, and the Trojans pushed forward into the chaos and music.
Jeremy lost Xavier and Min first, then Ananya s group not much later. Cat and Laila came and went as the swelling crowd swept them this way and that. The first time a family almost pushed Jeremy away from Jean, Jean caught hold of his wrist in a death grip. Jeremy took one look at his tense face and hauled Jean closer. Jean would feel better when the show started and the crowd went still, surely, except the first crackling pop startled a violent flinch out of him.
Jeremy flicked him a worried look, but Jean s transfixed gaze was on the fireworks crackling to life above them. Surprised, not afraid, Jeremy decided, but he couldn t look away again. He watched colored lights dance off sun-reddened cheeks until Jean finally caught him at it. Gold peonies reflected in Jean s eyes as he turned a curious look on Jeremy.
Between the delighted crowd and the fireworks, it was too loud for Jean to hear him. Jeremy rocked onto the balls of his feet to say at his ear, I m glad you came.
I could ve watched three more matches in the time we ve been gone, Jean said.
Predictable to a fault; Jeremy couldn t help but laugh. Maybe he ought to apologize for upending Jean s plans so thoroughly, but then Jean tapped idly at Jeremy s wrist. Jeremy glanced down, curious, but didn t get a chance to ask. Jean s lips grazed his cheekbone as Jean turned his head, and every coherent thought Jeremy had crumbled to dust. Jean had to feel Jeremy s pulse kick up beneath his thumb, but all he said was, But I d forgotten-I do not know them in English.
Fireworks, Jeremy said.
Fireworks, Jean echoed. He tipped his head back to study the sky once more, and maybe Jeremy imagined his, This is good, too.
It was more than Jeremy had expected or hoped for, and he was still smiling when he went to bed that night.
-
O n Thursday morning , Rhemann ruled in Jean s favor: effective immediately, Jean was allowed extra court time after practices with any Trojans interested in learning his Raven drills. Rhemann was generally trapped doing paperwork for an hour after his team left anyway, so it made sense to let them use it productively. All he wanted was a promise they d clean up behind themselves.
Jeremy was glad for them-it was hard not to be, when Tanner was so stoked and even Jean looked satisfied with the outcome-but he quietly worried what would happen in August. Once classes started, he d be living at home again. The trek home after afternoon practices would take nearly an hour. Staying here later might allow some traffic to clear up, but it was just as likely to work against him. He did the math on his fingers and found the numbers too uncomfortable to dwell on.
Either Laila caught him at it, or she d been his friend long enough to sort it out herself. She waited until Tanner and Jean took the court Thursday evening before joining Jeremy on the home bench.
Remember that Jean s our responsibility this fall, not yours, she said without preamble. If you try and wait him out, you won t get home until ten. I don t need you falling asleep on the road again.
That was one time, he protested. She leveled an arch look at him, and Jeremy relented with a sheepish, Three or four times. If I d realized you would hold it over me this long I never would ve told you about it. But thank you, he added before she could lecture him about his safety, and he tipped his head toward the court so she d understand what he meant. Have I told you yet you re perfect?
This week? Laila considered it. Not yet. Feel free.
You re perfect, he said. Must be why Mom wants me to marry you.
It startled a laugh from her. You re joking. She can t even look me in the eye. It would make for such an awkward ceremony. She pressed her shoulder to his, and he was content to lean back. Laila held her left hand out so they could study her imaginary ring. Tempting as the offer is, I will have to decline. Can I keep the rock?
Family heirloom, Jeremy said gravely. I m afraid I need it returned.
Alas. Laila mimed slipping it off, but instead of pressing it to his hand she settled her fingers on the open book at his lap. There was no humor in her now, just quiet reluctance as she asked, Are you sure about this, Jeremy?
Jeremy refused to look down. This was his fifth time attempting the section on logical reasoning. Every time he made it further than two paragraphs in, his thoughts wandered off without him, and he didn t have the energy or willpower to call them back. Having a deadline would make it easier to focus, but every time Jeremy considered registering for an exam, he remembered Bryson s warning. The chances of it being an empty threat were slim to none, but Jeremy didn t have it in him to fail on purpose.
Jeremy, Laila pressed when he took too long to answer.
Yeah. Jeremy watched Jean obliterate cones at dizzying speed so he wouldn t have to see Laila s disappointed face. I m sure enough.
Peas in a pod, Laila said wearily. You re both terrible liars.
He s so bad at it, Jeremy agreed, almost admiring. Unexpected.
Is it? Laila wondered. Jeremy sent her a curious look, but she thought it over before trying to put it into words. Jean s often said he s not allowed to talk to outsiders, but what about the Ravens? They were trapped in the Nest, bound to each other and the dark almost twenty-four-seven. How do you keep secrets in a place like that?
She shrugged, as if warning him not to take her too seriously, but continued, We re his team now, and you re his partner. Maybe he can t lie to us because we re his people.
Jeremy tested it out, liking the sound of that: We re his people.
It s just a theory.
We re his people, Jeremy said again, and was heartened enough to return to his studies. He used a finger to follow along, then two when he kept zoning out. Laila was thumbing through something on her phone, but she still noticed how many times he flipped back to the first page. She grumbled under her breath and took the textbook from him.
Listen, she said, and read it aloud.
This didn t make it any less awful or boring, but Jeremy appreciated Laila s help too much to tune her out. Every other paragraph she d stop and wait for him to summarize it before continuing. Bit by bit they conquered the section. Just as Jeremy thought he d finally make it out of this chapter, Rhemann stepped into the inner court with a piece of paper in his hands. Laila trailed off at his approach and used her thumb as a bookmark.
That time already, Coach? Jeremy asked.
Schedule s in, Rhemann said, sitting down on Laila s other side. He folded his paper in half and tapped the corner against his palm as he thought. Nothing in their district would give Rhemann pause like this; Jeremy knew where the conversation was going before Rhemann finally said, Arizona wants to get space reserved as soon as possible, so I need a banquet headcount by next Wednesday.
Oh, Jeremy said. It was all he could manage.
Laila gave Jeremy s arm a firm squeeze. You don t have to go.
You don t. Rhemann s agreement was easy, like it wasn t the big deal they all knew it was.
The banquets were a mandatory team event. For a player-a captain, even-to miss them three years straight was otherwise unheard-of in the NCAA. Jeremy s saving grace was the Trojans reputation and the unwavering respect the ERC had for Rhemann. Jeremy knocked the heel of his shoe against the ground and looked toward the court. If he was hoping for inspiration, he came back emptyhanded. Every word he ought to say was lodged somewhere in his chest.
Rhemann figured out nothing was forthcoming and said, It s your senior year, so I thought I should at least ask.
Laila followed Jeremy s gaze and could guess where his thoughts were going. Trust me and Cat to keep an eye on Jean for you. We ll introduce him around to the teams and make sure they understand he s one of ours now.
Jeremy kicked a little harder, until the jarring felt like it would shake his kneecap out of alignment. By Wednesday?
End of day Wednesday, Rhemann confirmed, holding up his paper.
I ll let you know, Coach. Jeremy took his book back from Laila, the schedule from Rhemann, and got to his feet. Sorry, can you-?
I ll get him home, Laila promised, and Jeremy left without looking back.
It was an easy walk home so long as he refused to think about anything. He heard Cat s strident voice down the hall as he eased the front door open. She and Cody had left practice on time so they could log into their game and do some kind of event. Jeremy closed the door as quietly as he could, pushed his shoes into their place off to the side, and went down the hall to the kitchen. Careful hands smoothed the schedule out, as if that tight crease could be undone, and Jeremy stuck it on the fridge to consider it.
One game at a time, he added their matches to the calendar. More than a few made him smile. The Trojans were historically dominant in their district, but he liked almost all of their opponents: some because they made the Trojans work for it, others because their players followed the Trojans lead and just tried to have a good time. The few bad apples were spaced out, and it was unfortunate that White Ridge would be the first team they faced, but Jeremy was satisfied overall.
Hey, Cat said from the doorway.
Jeremy glanced back. I thought you were playing?
Cody s connection is being a bit fussy, so they re resetting their router. She watched him put the pen away and toss the printout in the trash before getting to the point: Laila texted me. What re you thinking?
An easy question with no easy answers. Jeremy chased his ragged thoughts down their twisting paths, but they all dead-ended at a crossroads.
It s my last year. Jeremy wouldn t think if he meant as a Trojan or ever . I should go. I mean, I want to go. I want to be there with and for my team. Cat hesitated, but then her cell phone gave the pewpewpew alert she d given Cody. Jeremy smiled away her lingering concerns and insisted, Thank you for worrying, but I m good, I promise. Go enjoy your star thing.
Celestial Nights, Cat supplied. We re writing haikus. Cody s are so bad.
Read us some at dinner, Jeremy invited her. Speaking of, I ll go ahead and get it ordered. Jean should be wrapping up any minute now, so the timing should be perfect.
Okay, Cat said. Make sure they send us extra chopsticks? Laila broke another set in the dishwasher. I don t know how many times I can tell her to turn them upside-down first.
Will do, Jeremy promised, and Cat slipped out of view.
He ordered enough food to feed a small army, texted Laila with the estimated delivery time, and sent a weary look toward his guidebook. He couldn t think of a better way to spend the time, so he carried it down the hall to the living room.
Ten minutes later he d made no progress whatsoever. He went to chuck it, saw Barkbark watching him from across the room, and said, Okay. Osmosis it is. The standee had no opinion on the matter, so Jeremy draped the book across his face and dozed until Laila and Jean finally made it home.