CHAPTER EIGHT
J eremy
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J eremy sat perched on the trunk of his car at Los Angeles International, picking through his empty takeout cup for an ice chip to suck on. His phone dinged in scattered intervals as the floozies went back and forth, but he didn t try to keep up. The only alert that needed to be addressed with any urgency was the funky little fox bark assigned to Kevin s number. It d been hours since the last message came in, but Jeremy gamely resisted the urge to check the time.
The air rumbled as a plane took off, and the persistent honking from the clogged traffic out front of the airport was temporarily drowned out. Jeremy found another piece of ice to crunch on, wiped his fingers on his shorts, and gave in to temptation. A quick poke at the buttons lit his screen up, and Jeremy sat up straight when he saw the clock. It was close enough to Kevin s expected arrival time to risk heading in, so he dumped the rest of his ice onto the concrete to melt in the heat.
He was almost out of the garage when he finally heard from Kevin. Jeremy stopped off to one side to send an enthusiastic message back, and he picked up his pace as soon as his phone was safely tucked away again.
Even now, it felt impossible that Kevin was coming here. Theirs had always been an unconventional friendship, in large part due to the sheer distance between their schools. He d been face-to-face with Kevin a half-dozen times at most: last spring against the Foxes, and then in semifinals and finals against the Ravens his freshman and sophomore years. Every other conversation happened over text, checking in on each other after games and sharing insights on the opponents they would both face in their climb to the top. Kevin had dropped out of contact for over a year after breaking his hand, but Jean s transfer had brought him back in force.
This was the first time they were meeting when there wasn t a game to play, but it still wasn t a social visit. Kevin was here to help introduce Jean to the world and assist with overdue damage control. He was in town for two nights only, and Sunday morning he d be on his way home again.
Jeremy understood why it was such a tight turnaround, but he wished Kevin would stick around longer. He wanted to show Kevin the best Los Angeles had to offer. If this trip went well enough, maybe he could convince Kevin to fly out again. Maybe he could go out to South Carolina, though the last time he d looked up Palmetto State there d been a genuinely impressive lack of things to do in the area.
It was a short walk to baggage claim. Jeremy had a printout in one pocket with Kevin s flight information on it, but he d skimmed it so many times he had the details memorized. He scanned the screens over the luggage carousels out of habit, knowing it was unlikely Kevin had checked anything for such a short trip, and moved to where he could get a better look at the incoming crowd. It was a funny bit of d j vu, as Kevin was on the same airline Jean had used a few months back.
Thoughts of Jean had him checking his phone for any individual texts from Cat or Laila. Jean had been moodier than usual this week, and Jeremy honestly wasn t sure if he was more uptight about the interview or Kevin s visit. Jeremy had almost asked a half-dozen times, but every time he had the chance, he remembered the angry honesty in Jean s I wanted him to die. The best he could do was keep an eye on them both and hope they made it through the weekend unscathed.
Jeremy forcibly turned his attention to the incoming crowd instead and was rewarded a minute later when he spotted Kevin coming down the tunnel. Jeremy knew Kevin wasn t alone, but he couldn t yet tell who d been assigned as his traveling partner. Even if Kevin hadn t admitted this summer that he wouldn t travel off-campus by himself, he d said we this morning when he was boarding his flight at Upstate Regional. Jeremy hadn t asked because it honestly didn t matter; he d happily chauffeur the entire Fox lineup around the city if it meant Kevin was here with Jean for this.
He raised a hand to get Kevin s attention, and Kevin motioned to his companion before changing course. The crowd finally shifted enough to reveal the Foxes impossibly short goalkeeper. Jeremy clapped Kevin on the back as soon as he was within reach and offered Andrew Minyard a cheery nod. Andrew s bored gaze slid past him almost immediately, so Jeremy turned his full attention on Kevin guilt-free.
Good to finally have you here! he said. How was your flight?
Unremarkable, Kevin said. My phone hasn t updated yet. What time is it?
Half past seven, give or take a few. I can swing you by the hotel first if you want to check in, otherwise you re welcome to come unwind with us. Not sure if you were able to eat on account of what time your flight was, he said, and waited for Kevin to shake his head. Great! Dinner it is. We ve got water and beer at the house, or do you prefer something else?
Vodka, generally, Kevin said, but I can work with beer.
I know where we can get some, Jeremy assured him. No other bags? All right, car s out this way.
The two had a single hard-sided carry-on between them, and Andrew took it from Kevin at the crosswalk so it could sit in the backseat with him. As soon as Kevin buckled up in the passenger seat, Jeremy got them on the road back to USC. He started the AC but motioned for Kevin to adjust the vents as he liked. Jeremy tried to keep his attention on the road and not the pale scars on the back of Kevin s left hand, but knowing now who d broken Kevin s hand two years back put an anxious knot in Jeremy s chest.
Tell me what s new, Jeremy said. How s the team?
Dreadful as always, was the sour response. But they are twice as worthless off the court as they are on it, so I will suffer them for two more years.
Jeremy felt compelled to say, It wouldn t hurt to cut them some slack, you know? They are your teammates.
Kevin waved that aside with an impatient hand. That makes their countless failings less forgivable, not more. The Foxes have always known how little I think of them; I will not sugarcoat facts to spare their feelings.
A boring broken record, Andrew said. They ll learn to tune you out like I did.
Kevin flipped down the mirror on his visor to give Andrew an arch look, and there was a heated accusation in his, You tried, that had Jeremy glancing at his rearview mirror. He studied the cool expression on Andrew s face, wondering what he was missing, but at last Andrew looked away. Kevin snapped his visor back into place with a smug smile.
You re very good, Jeremy said over his shoulder, hoping to ease the new tension in the car.
Kevin nodded. He will be Court.
Jeremy glanced back once more to see what Andrew thought of that assessment, but the goalkeeper appeared unmoved. He was gazing out the window like he d already checked out of the conversation, and Jeremy idly wondered if that boredom was real or an attempt at modesty. If it was anyone else in his backseat he would ve gone with the latter, but he d heard enough rumors about Andrew over the last couple years he hesitated. It should be impossible for someone with such a phenomenal reputation to care so little, but Jean was equally complicated.
Jean hates Exy, too, he said.
It doesn t matter, Kevin said. He has no choice but to play.
For two more years, Jeremy agreed. I wonder what he ll do after graduation? He waited a few moments to see if Kevin would speculate with him, but of course Kevin had nothing to add. Jeremy let it slide and said instead, He thinks we have a real chance to take first place this year.
It worked like a charm. Kevin latched onto the new topic with enthusiasm, and they spent the rest of the ride picking through the list of potential contenders to the throne. There were only two schools in USC s home district that posed any threat during the fall season, and neither one could do enough damage to keep the Trojans from making championships. Getting to the finish line was not the problem; it was only at the very end that the Trojans choked year after year.
The Ravens were an unknown factor now that they were self-destructing, but Jeremy wasn t quite ready to write them off. They d been on top of the world for too long to give up now. Surely they would find a way to pull together and salvage their reputation, if only to spite those who celebrated their overdue comeuppance.
Penn State was an obvious threat, but the Foxes were the biggest question mark where Jeremy was concerned. Wymack might have caved to pressure to recruit a larger team this year, but he would never change his recruiting policies. Whether last year s unprecedented synchrony could survive six new tumultuous teenagers was anyone s guess.
Only if Neil develops a tolerable personality, Kevin said when Jeremy asked, and Jeremy tried to pass a laugh as a cough. The sidelong look Kevin sent him said he wasn t fooled, but Kevin didn t waste his time being offended. The freshmen have united against him, even that pathetic excuse of a striker he fought so hard for. If he can t win their respect, the Foxes might as well throw their racquets in the trash.
Jeremy filed that important insight away for later but only said, Speaking of Neil, I m surprised he didn t come with you. Not that we re not happy to have you, he added over his shoulder at Andrew, but I assumed he d want to visit Jean again.
It took him a minute to realize he d said something wrong. He made it past another exit before realizing Kevin was staring at him. Jeremy studied his curiously blank expression and realized he d finally gotten Andrew s undivided attention.
Jeremy forced his gaze back to the road, bewildered. Is it something I said?
What do you mean, visit Jean again ? Kevin asked.
What do you mean, what do I mean? Jeremy returned. He was here in June.
Kevin twisted in his seat to stare at Andrew. Jeremy risked a glance at the rearview mirror, but Andrew was gazing out the window again with a distant look on his face. Kevin gave him a few moments to come up with something before settling in his chair with a curse. He had his phone out and at his ear a moment later. Whoever he was calling picked up within a couple rings, and Kevin tore into them in furious French.
Jeremy put a warning hand out toward him and interjected with a firm, Is that Jean?
Neil, Kevin said, and went back to chewing out his teammate. Whatever Neil had to say on the matter did nothing to improve Kevin s mood. It was a blessedly short call, but Kevin looked fit to throw his phone after he hung up. Luckily he remembered whose car he was in before he followed through. He subsided somewhat grumpily, holding his phone in a white-knuckled grip.
Jeremy considered giving him time to calm down, but he couldn t help asking, How did you not know?
Neil didn t tell us where he was going, but we assumed we knew based on who he was supposed to be meeting. He never said Jean was involved. Over his shoulder Kevin said, He refuses to explain himself over the phone.
Typical, Andrew said, unconcerned.
Jeremy cast about for a way to ease the tension. It worked out for the best, he offered. That was the same weekend Grayson Johnson passed away. Before they ruled it a suicide, the police wanted to hang Jean out to dry as the most obvious suspect. Neil s visit is the only reason he had an alibi they couldn t refuse.
Kevin was not at all reassured, judging by the way he buried his face in one hand.
Andrew pushed the back of Kevin s seat. Raven backliner. Who was he to Neil?
No one, as far as I know, Kevin said. He had... history with Jean.
That hesitation made Jeremy ill, and he couldn t stop a quiet, Did you know?
Not here, Kevin warned him. Not with Andrew in their backseat, he meant, and it was answer enough.
Jeremy let the last few miles slide away in miserable silence and was glad to pull up behind Laila s car. They left the carryon in the back, since Jeremy would take them by their hotel later, but Andrew dug a pack of cigarettes out of it before getting out of the car. He gave it a shake and held it up toward Kevin.
Is there a corner store nearby? Kevin asked Jeremy. He had to toss his lighter at security.
Oh, I ve got one you can borrow, Jeremy said, and slipped past Kevin to reopen the passenger door. Kevin arched a brow at him when Jeremy dug a pack of clove cigarettes out of the glove compartment, but Jeremy only smiled disarmingly. I ve picked up more people at bars by having a lighter handy than I have by being charming. Just walk it off before you come in? he asked, shaking the lighter free and passing it into Andrew s waiting hand. Laila is really sensitive to the smell.
Rather than answer, Andrew glanced at Kevin. Kevin nodded and motioned to Jeremy, so Andrew set off down the street.
Something I said? Jeremy asked when Andrew was out of earshot.
It s California, not you, Kevin said. Too many memories, especially this soon after Aaron s trial. He ll be in a foul mood all weekend.
Jeremy locked his car and led Kevin up the stairs. Kevin followed his lead when Jeremy toed out of his shoes. Cat and Laila were waiting for them in the living room, tangled together on the couch, and Cat pumped her fist in enthusiastic greeting.
Hail, Queen. Was starting to think you d never visit us.
Jeremy only half-listened to their easy chatter. He caught Laila s eye, and she gave a quick tip of her fingers. Jeremy leaned back, looking down the hall toward the kitchen. Jean had to have heard the door; even if he missed it, Cat s greeting was too loud to be missed. But he failed to appear, and Jeremy wondered if he should slip away from Kevin to check on him. Would it be rude?
Cat saw his distraction. There s coffee, if you need a pick-me-up for the jet lag.
Thank you, Kevin said, and Jeremy had no choice but to lead him to Jean.
Jean was leaning against the sink to drink his coffee, and Jeremy didn t think it a stretch he d gone there to put a whole room between himself and his unwanted guest. His mug stilled halfway to his mouth when they walked in, and his gaze went right past Jeremy to Kevin. Jeremy searched his face, looking for any hint of violence or anger, but Jean s expression was curiously blank. He didn t move as Kevin crossed the room toward him.
Kevin took his mug from unresisting fingers and set it aside. You look better. California agrees with you.
Jean curled his lip. You could sound less proud of yourself.
Why? Kevin asked. Jean reclaimed his mug instead of answering. Kevin let it slide in favor of giving him a onceover. Your hair s grown back enough the cameras shouldn t pick it up, but you could have at least trimmed it to the same length. He was uncowed by the deadly look Jean sent him and insisted, We won t have time to fix it in the morning, and I doubt anyone is open this late.
It blends in enough now to give him a layered, wind-tossed look, Jeremy said. Carefree summer break kind of style. I like it.
You re not helping, Kevin said, and motioned to Jean. Show me what you re wearing tomorrow.
Jeremy quirked a brow at him and counted off more appropriate greetings on his fingers. It s good to see you, been a while, hope you ve settled in okay, heard your team loves having you around.
Rather than take the hint, Kevin stole Jean s coffee again. Jean barely gave him time to set it aside before pushing Kevin out of his way. Jeremy had to move to let them pass, and he followed them down the hall to the bedroom. Jean tugged open the closet door, gestured wordlessly to his half of the closet, and sat on his bed to wait for Kevin s decision.
Kevin started at one end and made his way to the other, a small frown on his face. Jeremy refused to believe he was that disappointed in their options, since Laila had handpicked almost everything Jean now owned, but then Kevin lifted a shirt off the rack and said, I can t imagine you in color. Seems unnatural.
You ve doomed me to wearing gold this fall, Jean said. Deal with it.
Kevin settled on four shirts and brought them to Jean to try on. Two he rejected as soon as he saw Jean in them. The third gave him pause, and he folded his arms across his chest as he considered it with a serious look on his face. Jeremy wasn t sure what the problem was; Jean looked just as good in this shirt as he had the last two.
He almost said as much, but managed to censor himself at the last moment: What s up?
It s a closed studio, Kevin said. The lighting will be significantly different than if it was built for an audience. We ll have to see what this looks like in morning sunlight to know for sure. Try the last.
Jean muttered something rude under his breath but obediently changed. As soon as he dropped his hands Kevin reached out to fix his collar and tug the top two buttons loose. Kevin hesitated, then hooked a finger under the silver chain around Jean s neck and pulled it free.
This is Renee s, Kevin said, but Jean only stared him down in silence. Kevin didn t press him for an explanation but withdrew. Let it show. The people who are most likely to have a problem with you will be the ones most comforted by such a symbol. You need all the good favor you can scrape together right now.
I don t care, Jean said, moving to tuck it away again.
Kevin caught hold of his hand to stop him. We re trying to sell you to them. An image of you, rather. Don t make it harder for us than it needs to be. He waited a beat to see if Jean would argue, then withdrew and motioned to the shirt. Keep this one with the other. We ll compare them in the morning.
He draped the third shirt on Jean s bed before carrying the rejected two back to the closet. Jeremy assumed Jean was used to Kevin s bossiness after so many years together, but he glanced at Jean s face to gauge his mood. The look on Jean s face, there and gone again in a heartbeat, was almost enough to startle him off the doorframe. Jeremy had no time to dwell on this sudden understanding; Jean felt Jeremy s stare on him and was thoughtless enough to return it.
Maybe Jeremy should have schooled his surprise, but he wasn t expecting Jean to flinch like he d been struck. Jean turned sharply away, a vain attempt to hide his reaction, and yanked his buttons loose with a force that should have ripped at least one off its threads.
With a little more care, Kevin said, aggrieved. We might need that tomorrow.
Get out, Jean warned him. Kevin made a disapproving noise but left the room. Jeremy lingered for just a moment, but the hint of panic in Jean s second, Get out , had him beating a hasty retreat after Kevin.
Confusion left Jeremy rattled, and he was glad to subject Kevin to Laila s and Cat s enthusiastic questions so he could think. Jean hadn t denied his sexuality the first time Jeremy brought it up, and he d been more annoyed than anything when Jeremy teased him about Laila last month. He d gotten caught checking them out more than once this summer, but he was always quick to retreat into his own space afterward. It always felt more like caution and avoidance than fear or self-loathing. Jeremy couldn t imagine why Kevin alone would inspire such a vehement reaction.
Whatever it was, it wasn t enough to keep Jean away for long. He came looking for them just a few minutes later, and Cat gleefully relocated everyone to the kitchen so she could start on dinner.
Jeremy noted the clock as he stole one of the stools and asked, Should you check on Andrew? He s been gone a while.
Laila perked up. Oh, is he here?
Ravens do not travel alone, Jean said.
Can you point at the Raven in the room? Cat asked without looking up from her mixer.
He likely won t come back until I tell him we re on the way to the hotel, Kevin said. It s better that way.
Laila sighed in disappointment. I d love to talk to him one day. He s very good.
He will be Court, Jean said.
So will you, Kevin said.
Such an unhesitating endorsement from Kevin Day would have knocked anyone else off their feet, but Jean s expression went smooth as stone. Jeremy chipped in with a quick, If you want to be.
I am perfect Court, Jean said, inflectionless and quiet. I will play where I am signed.
Cat picked up on the dip in Jean s mood immediately. Kevin! Help us with the arepas. Jean will show you how. She nudged him with her elbow. When Jean scowled silent refusal, she jabbed him again and said, Make the Queen roll up his sleeves, it ll be good for him. Nothing s better than a meal you ve had a hand in.
I can also- Jeremy started.
Touch nothing, Cat said, brandishing her knife at him.
Kevin arched a brow at him, but Jeremy sliced a hand across his neck in a desperate Let s just forget it . The mischievous look on Cat s face said she was two seconds from listing off his various disasters, but then Jean dragged his bowl to where Kevin could reach it. Jeremy watched as Jean showed Kevin how to shape the arepa dough around slices of fresh mozzarella. Kevin s first attempt was messy but serviceable, but Jean took it away from him to press it into a cleaner shape. Kevin watched him work with a distant gaze.
When did you learn how to cook? he asked.
Cat is teaching me, Jean said. He could have left it at that, but after a beat, he admitted, I like it. It makes everything else go away for a while.
He d never hesitated to join Cat in the kitchen, but this was the first time he d offered such an unguarded opinion of it. The smile that curved Cat s lips was gentle; the look Laila sent Jean was fond. Kevin studied Jean like he wasn t quite sure who he was looking at: not with any trepidation, but quietly reevaluating a man he d known for so many years. For a moment Jeremy felt the history between them and was dizzy; in another he was keenly aware there was too much there for him to ever understand.
Kevin offered Jean a second arepa, waited for Jean to reach for it, and said, I m glad.
Jean went still with his fingers on the dough. His jaw worked for a moment as he weighed his possible responses. In the end he said nothing, but when he finally curled his fingers around the little flatbread he pressed his knuckles into Kevin s palm. Maybe it was optimistic, but Jeremy interpreted it as a silent thank you .
Maybe not, or maybe that was as vulnerable as Jean felt like being tonight, because Jean turned to Jeremy a few moments later. He s underfoot. Take him away and show him your most recent match against Arizona.
I don t think Kevin wants- Laila started.
Kevin didn t even hear her. It was a phenomenal game, he said, eyes alight.
Maybe he will forgive your fumble, Jean added, and Jeremy made a face at him.
Against Faser, Kevin said. The fact that he knew exactly what play Jean was talking about was equal parts mortifying and fascinating, and Jeremy could only stare at him. Kevin made an annoyed sound and said, You are his better in every way. You should have slammed him into the wall.
He had, later that night at the hotel room, but Jeremy didn t think Kevin needed to hear that. He gamely ignored the I-told-you-so look Jean sent him. That s the trouble with playing opponents you re familiar with. They know how best to distract you.
A rookie excuse, Kevin said derisively.
We can t all be perfect, Jeremy said with a smile.
Kevin shrugged that off. You are close enough to count.
Jeremy had all of one second to revel in that praise before Jean sent Kevin a sullen look and said, Jeremy is studying for law school.
Kevin s jaw dropped. No.
He rounded on Jeremy, and Jeremy barely beat him to the punch. If it s all the same to you, I d rather not get into it tonight. I m not asking, he added when Kevin wasn t so easily deterred. Kevin continued to stare at him like Jeremy had personally betrayed him, but he wisely kept his peace. Satisfied, Jeremy changed the subject with, What s the plan for tomorrow?
At length Kevin said, To somehow present Jean as someone to root for. A thankless task, he said, and ignored the withering look Jean flicked him. So long as we stick to the script, everything will be fine.
Good, Jeremy said, smiling at them in turn. Nothing to worry about, then!
Put a jinx on the whole thing, why don t you? Cat lamented. Go knock on wood.
Elsewhere, Jean added pointedly.
Jeremy pushed away from the island. Kevin and I are running up to the store real quick, then. Do we need anything? He waited while Cat gave the fridge a cursory inspection and answered a negative, then caught Kevin s eye and started for the door. They paused at the entrance to put their shoes back on. Kevin took the keyring from Jeremy after he d locked the door behind him and inspected the Traveler keychain.
I wish you d come to USC. It would ve been fun to play with you all these years.
I would not be me without Edgar Allan, Kevin said, returning Jeremy s keys. Everything I am and have today is because I grew up at Evermore.
Up to and including the broken hand, Jeremy said quietly as they set off. Kevin rubbed the back of his left hand and said nothing. Jeremy was loathe to kill the good mood they d fostered in the kitchen, but with the Ravens on the table it was hard to resist. He drummed his hands against his thighs in a nervous beat before finally asking again, Did you know about Grayson?
Kevin didn t hesitate. All Ravens know a variation of the story.
Don t ask, Jeremy thought, but how could he not? Did he ever-were you-?
They had no reason. Kevin caught his poor wording even as Jeremy rounded on him. That s not what I meant, he said with a grimace, and Jeremy stared him down as he searched for a better way to phrase it. The Nest thrives on violence, but every punishment doled out is calculated and executed with purpose. Unsatisfactory times on drills, missed shots, failure to block a striker or failure to outstep a defenseman, there is always a triggering factor.
Jeremy refused to listen to this. There is nothing that justifies what happened to him.
Kevin opened his mouth, thought better of it, and looked away. Jeremy honestly wasn t sure what was worse: that the Ravens thought themselves right for hurting Jean so horrifically, or that Kevin knew what their excuse was. He felt ill as he demanded, Why didn t you say something this spring when they were tearing him apart?
Because I know better than to put Jean s back to the wall.
I don t understand.
You do, Kevin said.
The hell I do.
Jean cannot betray them. He doesn t know how. He will always betray himself first. If I had spoken out this spring and accused Edgar Allan of fostering such abuse, Jean would have felt compelled to undermine me. He would have embraced the Ravens lies no matter how much it killed him to accept the blame. I have heard it before, he insisted when Jeremy started to argue. I will not listen to it again.
Jeremy wanted so badly to refuse that. He thought of Jean flinching away from every mention of Coach Moriyama and Riko, of how easily and quickly and stridently he insisted he deserved everything that had happened to him. He thought of Jean s haunted stare and hoarse, You cannot save me from what came before, and you help neither of us by trying to dig up those graves. It was so cruel Jeremy couldn t breathe.
You can t tell me that not a single Raven would support him if he spoke the truth. I won t believe that.
You don t even know what his truth is, Kevin said, frustration bleeding into his voice.
I don t care. Jeremy waved that off with a sharp jerk of his hand. He was sixteen.
Kevin grimaced at him. It s the age of consent in West Virginia. Without a complaint, there is no crime, and there will never be a complaint.
Jeremy had to walk away, but he didn t get far. Kevin caught his arm to drag him to a stop. Jeremy yanked out of his grip to stare him down, but Kevin s Jeremy- was followed only by miserable silence. Jeremy studied the tension in his expression and shadows in his eyes and knew Kevin was fighting to confide in him. Jeremy wasn t sure which side he wanted to win. He didn t want Kevin giving away Jean s secrets, but he desperately wanted to understand the Ravens wretched mentality.
At last Kevin only said, Silence is the only way Jean has a voice. He does not have to participate in his own downfall. It is not kind or fair, but it is the best we can do.
He deserves more than that, Jeremy said. You know he does.
He deserves peace. That s why he s here.
That s not enough.
It is more than he has ever gotten.
Jeremy studied him in silence. And what about you? he asked at length. They ve wronged you too, more than I think you ve let on. A couple sly words in spring, he said, tapping his fingers to the back of Kevin s hand, but nothing since then. I would ve guessed it kindness, to avoid starting a fight while Edgar Allan grieved Riko s death, but I don t think that s it anymore. You won t fight them either, will you?
I have no reason to fight, Kevin said. Everything I want and need still lies ahead of me; it is a waste of time to look back so long as that holds true.
Justice is not a waste of time.
I don t care about justice. All I want in life is to play the perfect game. After a beat he added, And to know why you are applying to law school. You belong on the US Court with me, but they can t sign you if you re not contracted to a professional team. Don t say you want to quit. I will not believe you.
That topic was already vetoed for the night, Jeremy reminded him. Let s focus on one nightmare at a time.
It was an inexcusable slip. Maybe later he d forgive himself for being careless, considering the conversation they d just had, but right now the look Kevin turned on him had Jeremy taking two steps back. The chirping crosswalk gave him an excuse to turn and walk away, and he made it all the way to the front door of the liquor store before Kevin caught up with him. Jeremy gestured for Kevin to precede him inside, but Kevin stopped beside him.
Jeremy, Kevin pressed.
Promise me you ll protect him tomorrow, Jeremy said. That s all I m asking.
The look on Kevin s face said he wasn t going to let this slide for long, but at last Kevin said, I promise.
Jeremy couldn t manage a smile, but he knew Kevin didn t expect one from him. Thank you. You re a good friend, Kevin. I hope you know that.
He and I are not friends.
But you re mine, Jeremy said, and said again, Thank you.
It took Kevin only a few minutes to get the bottle he needed, and the walk back to the house passed in dead silence. Rather than take his drink inside, Kevin stopped beside Jeremy s car and said, It is for tomorrow. Jeremy unlocked the doors so Kevin could stow the bottle in the passenger seat footwell, and they continued into the house emptyhanded. Jeremy feigned not to see Laila s curious look when they returned without bags but settled in next to her at the island.
Smells great, he said, motioning for Kevin to take the last seat beside him.
Of course it does, Cat said cheerily. We made it. Check this out.
Jeremy only heard every other word as she showed off the recipe they were trying, but that was all right. Here it was warm and safe, and Jeremy could use that to hold the rest at bay for at least a little while.