CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Jean
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Laila waited to tell Jeremy until he picked them up the next morning, and Jean understood why as soon as she cornered him in the kitchen. Jean could watch every other reasonable thought evaporate from Jeremy s brain as Laila went over breed restrictions and basic ground rules. Jeremy nodded along to everything she said, but Jean wasn t entirely sure he was listening. He was practically vibrating as he endlessly shifted from one foot to the next.
Laila had researched nearby shelters last night, so she handed Jeremy the address to the nearest and said, It s open until eleven tonight. Go after practice.
Yes, Jeremy agreed immediately.
What ll you tell your parents? Cat asked.
Jeremy didn t miss a beat. Group meeting pushed late because of Exy.
That he could lie so easily for a dog and not his day-to-day happiness was more than a little annoying, but Jean was staying out of this. He d done his part by consenting to the madness; everything else was their problem to sort out. Or so he hoped, but it was impossible to distance himself from this decision once Jeremy was involved. By the end of morning practice all of the Trojans knew Laila and Jeremy were getting a dog, and the floozies were hard at work brainstorming a list of names.
If Jeremy lost focus during afternoon practice, Jean could at least take him to task, but his captain went full-tilt into every single drill and scrimmage. He was out of the shower only two minutes behind Jean, and he paced restless circles around the strikers bench until Cat and Laila showed up.
Jean assumed they d go straight to the shelter, but Jeremy parked at the Lofts. On her way out of the car, Laila said, Take Jean with you.
Jean stared at her. No. It s your beast, not mine.
Laila leaned over to eye him. Technically it s Jeremy s.
Your partner, your problem, Cat chimed in. The boy can t be trusted. Let him go to a shelter alone and he ll probably come home with a half-dozen puppies. Thank you for your sacrifice, Jean. I said thank you and goodbye, she added, when Jean started to argue again. She gave him a meaningful look and gestured between herself and Laila. Read the room.
You don t even have a bed yet, Jean complained.
I have a face she can-
Laila hauled her out of the car before she could finish and slammed the door closed. Jean pinched the bridge of his nose until he thought he d break it and slowly counted to ten. At seven Jeremy jostled him and said, We re walking from here. Let s go, with such childish glee Jean had to put both girls from mind. He got out of the car like he was marching to his doom and followed Jeremy deeper into the city.
The shelter they were looking for was only a ten-minute trek up the road. The young woman at the front desk had a series of questions for Jeremy that Jean tuned out halfway through. Most of it sounded tediously particular, though he assumed it was all necessary: what type of animal was he looking for, what sort of home was he bringing it to, what kind of time could he devote to its wellbeing, and so on. Jean bit back his uncharitable opinion about this entire decision and let his gaze wander.
There were bird cages in the front two corners. Past the desk was a kennel with a half-dozen clumsy kittens. Jean honestly wasn t sure which side of the room was producing more noise right now. The room stank of air freshener, presumably to cover up the messes such beasts were creating. Jean breathed as shallowly as he could and wondered if he ought to wait outside until Jeremy was done. He glanced Jeremy s way just as the two finally wrapped it up, and Jeremy motioned to him with an uncharacteristic nervousness.
The kennels in the next room seemed to be primarily smaller rodents, and here the smell of bedding and wet little bodies was a little more prevalent. Jean heard the dogs long before they passed the second room of cats, and at last they pushed through a final door. One wall was all kennels, two rows atop one another. The other had filing cabinets and three metal tables for checkups and grooming. The assistant handed off her notes to the young man filling food bowls.
Apartment with students, she said. Smaller breed, preferably a few years old so it ll require less hands-on care and is used to being left alone for a few hours. Gender unimportant, usual restrictions otherwise. When he nodded, she turned a perky smile on Jeremy and said, Christian will recommend the best fits for you based on our current selection and walk you through the rest of the process. I ll be up front if you decide to move forward.
Thank you, Jeremy said, already distracted by the kennels. She d barely left the room before he was poking his fingers through the grating of the nearest one. Hi, he said, in a soft tone Jean didn t recognize. Hi, how are you? Yeah, I love you too, you re so cute. I d take you home with me but you re a little big for us, baby girl. Yeah.
Jean glanced from him to the worker, who didn t seem at all unnerved by this silliness from a grown man. Christian was comparing his coworker s notes to his own files, and he wrote a string of numbers across the top of his page. Kennel numbers, Jean realized a moment later, because Christian scooped up his clipboard and offered Jeremy his hand.
Hi, I m Christian, he said. Let s find you your new best friend.
Jeremy, Jeremy said, accepting his hand.
Christian glanced toward Jean, noticed how far back he was keeping, and beckoned to Jeremy. We ll start at this end, he said, and Jeremy hurried after him.
Jean went the other direction, hoping the barking would drown out Jeremy s adoring conversations with each of his prospects. His gaze went unbidden to the kennels, with their assortment of beasts in every color and size. One dog was tearing a stuffed toy to shreds, filling the corner of his kennel with piles of cottony fluff. Three fist-sized little pups were sharing space, two barking at each other for no discernible reason while the third tried and failed to scale the grating. Each cage had a card pinned to it with information about the dogs trapped within.
Jean made it to the far corner at last and leaned against the wall to wait. He checked his phone, saw a string of missed messages from Renee and Cody, and decided he didn t have the energy for conversation right now. He put his phone away and looked up to see how far Jeremy had gotten, and in so doing accidentally made eye contact with the dog across from him.
At first glance he thought it was sleeping, it was so still and flat on its side, but its gaze tracked his face with unblinking calm. Jean waited for it to look away, but he bored of the staring match first. Jeremy was in an animated conversation with Christian, so Jean turned back to the dog. It was still watching him, and this time its tail thumped a few times in either warning or approval. It was an uneven mess: its tail and ears were scraggly, but it had short fur everywhere else, black and white most everywhere with brown splotches on its face and legs.
I don t see the appeal, he told it. Its tail thumped harder, and Jean reluctantly crossed the room to study it better. In French he said, He has so many distractions already, and not enough time to sleep as it is. You are an unnecessary complication. He ought to wait until graduation.
One ear went ramrod straight, as if the dog could understand him. That was ridiculous and offensive, and Jean poked a finger through the grating to press it flat. You are fooling no one, he said, as the tail went thump-thump-thump against the bottom of the kennel in earnest. The dog finally half-rolled onto its stomach, and Jean snatched his hand to safety. It watched him for a few moments, then curled in on itself to kick at the ear he d touched.
Your foot is dirtier than my hand, Jean said, but it was undeterred. He didn t care and wasn t interested, but his gaze went to the card hanging from the bottom corner. The scrawling handwriting was such a violent turnoff he almost walked away, but Jean put a finger to the first word and fought his way through the description. A six-year-old mutt who d been given up when the owner moved out-of-state, supposedly.
Jean pressed his fingernail hard against the paper. Your parents threw you away, too. That was too sour a thought to dwell on, so he flicked the dog a bored look. Did this creature ever blink? Maybe it perfectly timed its own to his and that was why he always missed it. Jean stared it down, refusing to lose to a beast he could easily shove inside his backpack. He lost, but only because the dog pawed at his hand through the grating and startled him into withdrawing.
Oh, that s Rex, Christian said from a few kennels down. He s not very friendly.
Neither am I, Jean said.
He doesn t bite, Christian hurried to say. He s just a bit depressed, I think. Last owner gave him up a couple months ago. He wasn t crate trained, so he s not adjusting well to the kennel life, and people seem put off by his age. Everyone wants a cute puppy, right? If he d perk up a bit more, he d have a better chance of getting out of here.
He gave a helpless shrug, then turned his full attention back to Jeremy. Jeremy was currently crouched in front of a kennel with both hands hooked on the grate. Jean wasn t sure what dog he was staring at now, but he looked so blissed out Jean couldn t watch him for long.
Jeremy was running out of kennels; he would have to decide soon if one of these animals stood out more than the rest. Jean looked back at Rex, who had his toenails hooked on the grate now. His toe pads were black and warm to the touch, and he let Jean unhook his foot without protest. The most he did was snuffle at the front of his kennel, and Jean grudgingly left his hand where the dog could smell it. Rex sniffed so enthusiastically Jean started to feel unclean, and then a hot and wet dog tongue had him snatching his hand back again.
Rex, you said? Jeremy said right at his ear, and Jean nearly jumped out of his skin. The wide-eyed look Jeremy turned on him for that reaction had Jean scowling and looking away. Christian went over Rex s story again with unflagging patience, but Jeremy s stare never wavered. Jean refused to return that look but feigned intense interest in the card on the neighboring cage. At last Jeremy took pity on him and put out a hand for Rex to sniff. Hi, boy. How are you? Oh, you really do have such sad eyes. To Christian he said, Can we see him?
You re looking right at him, Jean said.
Christian popped the bar out of place and swung the door open. Jeremy offered Rex his hand, waited while the dog snuffled at it, and brought the other up when Rex got bored of the first. Hi, he said again. Can I touch you? Can I hold you? Is that okay? He waited like he thought the beast might answer, then gently hooked his hands around him.
Oh, oh, oh, he said as he lifted the dog from the cage, and he cradled Rex to his chest like a baby. The dog immediately draped his head on Jeremy s shoulder and let out a world-weary huff. Jeremy closed his eyes at the sound of it and pressed a kiss to the dog s shoulder blades. Thump-thump, went the tail, before Rex tucked it neatly against his legs. Jeremy swayed this way and that for a minute, looking more relaxed and at peace than Jean had seen him in months.
Maybe Jeremy felt his stare, because he asked, Do you want to hold him?
No, Jean said immediately. Never.
He doesn t mean that, Jeremy assured Rex, with another kiss to his shoulders. He opened his eyes and turned toward Christian. He s so sweet, and he looks like he s the right size for our apartment. Does he check the rest of the boxes?
Christian tapped the top of his page, where Rex s kennel number was the last in line. It was one of two that had a question mark scribbled in above it. He s housebroken, neutered, and up to date on all his shots, he said. The only thing we can t guarantee is how he ll react to being left alone in the apartment. Might have some lingering abandonment issues. He doesn t fuss when we leave the room unattended, and we haven t noticed any distress on the overnight security cameras, but it s a strong probably okay and not a promised yes that he can handle it.
Jeremy gave it some serious thought before turning toward Jean. What do you think?
It is not my decision.
It s your apartment, Jeremy reminded him. If you want to keep looking we will.
I do not care, Jean said. That earned another world-weary sigh from Rex. Jean side-eyed him, idly wondering if dogs could understand English, and added, It is a stupid name. It is not as bad as the last, but it is still unforgivable. He is not a dinosaur.
We can rename him, Jeremy said, studying Jean s face like the secret to the universe was just out of reach. It might just take some work and time for him to get used to it, especially if he s six. Here, hold him a sec.
Put him down. He has four legs to stand on, Jean said, but Jeremy had already closed the short space between them.
Shifting Rex from his chest to Jean s was easy work, and if Jean didn t catch hold, it would be a long drop to a very hard floor. Jeremy ignored his muttered complaints in favor of fixing Jean s grip, and he stepped back only when Rex appeared secure. The dog was oblivious to or unmoved by Jean s disapproval and instead pressed a wet nose to the underside of his chin. Jean tipped his head away, earning a huff before Rex went still.
Jeremy studied the dog a minute longer, then said, He s asleep.
He s faking it, Jean said.
He likes you, Jeremy said, pleased. To Christian he said, We want him.
We do not, Jean corrected him, but both men ignored him.
Christian flipped his stack of papers to the last sheet so he could give Jeremy a rundown of Rex s health as the shelter understood it. Jean tuned it out, keenly aware of the slow breaths puffing against the side of his throat, more aware of the small chest that rose and fell against his collarbone. Was it normal to feel a dog s ribs like this? Christian had called him depressed; maybe he d been doing the bare minimum to stay alive. Could dogs even be depressed? Jean knew next to nothing about animals. He almost asked, then decided he didn t need to give the impression he cared. Maybe Renee knew more on the matter, but he didn t think he could get his phone out without waking the beast.
Great, Jeremy said as Christian finished up. Sounds great.
Then let s get you back up front, Christian said. Audrey will take it from here.
Jean would surely wake the dog up if he moved, but at least then Rex could walk. But Rex didn t stir. The blind trust despite their unfamiliarity was bewildering, almost offensive. Did the creature have no survival instincts whatsoever? Something this small and fragile ought to have a bit more common sense. Jean was sure he d carried bags of sugar that weighed more. He shifted his grip until his fingers lined up with the dog s rib cage again. Like this he could feel Rex s heartbeat, soft as a hum.
Oh, Rex? Audrey said, startled to indiscretion when she saw them. She hurriedly tried to redeem herself with an enthusiastic, That s fantastic. Did Christian go over his medical records? Good. Then I ve just got a couple quick forms here, and there s the matter of the fee.
Jeremy passed over his bank card, and Jean didn t miss the way his smile didn t reach his eyes. Can I get a receipt for that? Thank you. Maybe Jean was seeing things, because Jeremy set to work on the forms with unabashed enthusiasm. The only thing that tripped him up was their address. He got halfway through the old one before realizing what he was doing, and he crossed it out with a wince.
Audrey checked the form front and back to ensure Jeremy hadn t missed anything, then returned his card with a receipt. Jeremy tucked both into his wallet, and Audrey snagged a reusable bag off a hook under her desk. She emptied its contents one at a time onto the desk in front of them: a simple black leash and matching collar, a tight roll of plastic something or other, and a few sample bags of dog kibble.
Goodie bag for your new best friend, Audrey said, repacking the food and green plastic. Obviously you ll want to stop and stock up if you haven t already, but at least this way you don t have to rush. You can take him home and get to know him without having to worry about what he ll eat later today. You can also choose a toy for him, she said, pointing to the shelf lining the wall behind her.
Shark, Jeremy said immediately, and she jumped to get it. Jeremy tucked it in the bag as Audrey passed it over, and finally Jeremy deigned to take Rex from Jean. He smothered the dog with apologies as he lowered Rex to the ground. The dog gave a full-body, noisy shake when Jeremy snapped the collar in place, but for the first time there was a hint of energy to the tip of his head.
He knows he s going home, Audrey said when his tail started wagging in earnest. She sounded on the verge of tears, and she crouched to give the dog a few final pets. To Jeremy she added, Let us know if you need anything at all. Our information is printed on the bag. She pointed to the logo of the gift bag she d handed over, and then she went to get the door for them. Rex beat Jeremy outside, moving with purpose with his freedom at hand.
I told you he could walk, Jean said as he followed Jeremy out.
Jeremy was smiling ear-to-ear, completely unbothered by Jean s refusal to play along. He sure can, was his chipper agreement. Look at him go! What a good boy. Look, he knows we re talking about him, he said, because Rex had turned to watch them both. Jeremy leaned over to offer enthusiastic scritches and a giddy, You re a good boy, you really are! Do you want to go home? Yeah? Wait until you meet Laila and Cat. They are going to love you.
He was so deliriously happy that Jean swallowed the rest of his complaints for later.
It took only ten minutes to get here, but twice as long to get back. Jean was sure Rex stopped to sniff every single crack in the sidewalk and dried spot of gum. How the dog managed to piss six times was beyond him, but Jeremy only laughed when Jean insisted, That cannot be normal. Maybe it was, then, but if this thing tried urinating in the apartment Jean was going to return it to the shelter.
They were nearly home when Jeremy s phone started ringing that awful tone that meant his family was calling. Jeremy didn t look surprised to receive it but passed the leash to Jean so he could answer.
Hi, Mom. Yes, that was me. Classmate s running late from dinner, so I went off campus for a bit. Wanted to get Laila a housewarming gift for her new apartment. Jeremy glanced at Rex but didn t elaborate. Yes, it s a one-off. She ll get everything else she needs after her insurance cuts a check. Sorry, yes, you re right, I should have warned Leslie first. Okay. Yes, I ll let you know before I get on the road tonight.
Jean considered returning the leash, but Jeremy was busy squeezing his phone between his hands. Instead he asked, Leslie?
My mother s bookkeeper, Jeremy said. She oversees the joint account Bryson and I are on, and she gets an alert if I pass a certain dollar threshold on any purchase. Jeremy checked his phone for damage before tucking it away. I ll still have to submit the receipt for review, and that ll start a whole new conversation, but it s a problem for later.
Jeremy.
It s not my money, Jeremy said. I don t make the rules.
The look on his face said there was more to it, but they were out of time. Jean tucked it aside to fight over later and let them into their apartment building. Rex handled the stairs to the second floor easily enough despite his small size. Jeremy freed him of the leash while Jean got the door, and he gave the pup an encouraging scritch as he straightened.
There you go, he said as Jean held the door for them. Welcome home! What do you think of the place?
By the time Jean locked the door behind them, both girls had emerged from their bedroom. Laila hit her knees so fast Jean thought they d bruise. Oh, she said, hands outstretched and entreating. Rex went still as stone to stare at her for a minute, then went to sniff her fingers. Oh, he s perfect. Hello there. Hello, you re perfect. Laila scooped him up into a hug. What s his name?
It was Rex, Jeremy said.
Like a T-Rex? Cat asked.
Jean motioned to her but looked at Jeremy. I told you.
Jeremy laughed and went to sit at Laila s side. He took one of Rex s paws between two fingers so he could rock it up and down. Rex didn t pull away but pushed his nose to Jeremy s hand in silent protest. Let s see what the floozies have for us, then.
Jean sat opposite them, and Rex immediately wriggled out of Laila s arms to steal his lap. Jean scowled down at him. I did not invite you.
Laila should have been offended at being abandoned, but she smiled. He likes you.
It was love at first sight, Jeremy said, tapping away at his phone. He s not crate trained, but he is housebroken and chipped. The shelter got his full medical history from his previous owner, so we re good to go on that front. And we ve got this.
He traded his phone for the shark toy, and Rex decided that was more important than Jean. Jeremy waggled it over his head before flinging it across the room, and the dog gave chase with unexpected speed. Jean listened to the rapid clicking of his toenails against the hard floor as Rex gave chase, then hooked a knee to his chest so he no longer had a lap to offer. Louder was the nonstop chirp and chime of his friends phones as the group chat responded to Jeremy s text.
Name suggestions were quick to flood in, with the three reading them aloud as they arrived. They started off basic and harmless, such as Patches and Fido, before escalating to more ridiculous options like Monsieur Bowwow. The withering look Jean sent them for that had Cat nearly crying with laughter, and Jean valiantly tried to tune the rest of the madness out.
The soft beep of his phone made him worry he d been looped into the cacophony, but it was Renee checking in. The Foxes practice had been rough, and they were still fighting hours later. Neil was irritated to be sidelined, and the freshmen s continued disrespect was adding fuel to the fire. The upperclassmen were taking bets on who d swing first, Neil or someone named Jack. Jean knew it d be Kevin.
Get it together, Jean sent back. The Trojans want to see you in finals.
We will do our best! she said, and then, How are things going there?
Jean tapped idly at his keys before settling for, Complicated. Across from him Rex was dangling an inch off the floor, jaws locked on his shark, while Jeremy laughed himself sick. Jean took a picture of them and sent it with the message, Grief has driven them to madness, but I do not think we can return it.
He s handsome, Renee returned. Jean had a flat rejection half typed out when she added a cheeky, The dog is also cute.
Jean stared down at her messages in disbelief, refusing to read into them but unable to interpret it any other way. He erased seven curt responses before settling on, Tell Kevin to stay out of it.
Jean could almost hear her Oh, Jean. After a pause, she sent, I don t ask Kevin about you. Andrew clocked Jeremy immediately, and three of every five messages you ve sent me this past month are about him. It was an obvious exaggeration, but Jean refused to check their messages to prove it. Renee wasn t done but said, I was curious, but it never felt appropriate to ask.
There is nothing to ask, Jean sent. It is against the rules.
Whose rules? Renee asked.
Stuart s voice bit at his memory: The dead kid?
Jean almost chucked his phone across the room. The weight of a body settling on his leg startled him from his gnawing thoughts, and he frowned down at the beast. Rex kept sliding down his thigh, then scrabbling to find his perch again. Cat reached over and clapped Jean s hip until Jean finally sat cross-legged again. He flicked her an unimpressed stare as the dog settled in his lap with a huff.
Do not encourage him, Jean said.
He likes you, Cat said, unrepentant. Don t you, Jabberwocky?
Jean stared at her in disbelief and only tried, Jab.
Cat enunciated it this time: Jabberwocky. From Alice in Wonderland? I used to have the whole poem memorized, but it wouldn t do you good to hear it. It s half-nonsense, she explained before Jean could take offense. Made-up words and the like. But it s catchy, so it stuck, like an annoying commercial ditty. Maybe the English major remembers it.
Jeremy crouched over the dog and hooked his hands like claws as he said, Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch. Something something, snicker-snack. Callooh, callay! He laughed and gave up with, That s all I ve got, sorry.
The dog was staring wild-eyed up at him for the unprompted performance, so Jeremy tipped in to plant a kiss on his furry forehead. Jean lurched away from him so quickly he sent Jabberwocky sprawling, and it took Jeremy only a moment to realize what he d done. He scooped up his frightened pup but kept his eyes on Jean s blank face.
Sorry, he said, tense with concern. Sorry, that was-
Jean pried Jabberwocky from his unresisting hands, needing a barricade between them. Jeremy obediently sat back on his heels to create more space, and Jean forced himself to look at Cat. He barely heard his own voice over his heartbeat: Say the ridiculous name again. Maybe it will be less stupid on the repeat.
Cat glanced between them but said, Jabberwocky. She waited for him to echo it, flashed him two thumbs up, and ruined everything by saying, More precisely: Jabberwocky Moreau.
He d misheard her. This thing is not a Moreau.
Jeremy managed a weak smile. I d rather not name him Knox or Wilshire.
Alvarez, Jean said, but Cat waved him off. Dermott.
You ve been outvoted, Cat said. Embrace fatherhood.
This was asinine and ill-advised, and they would all regret this when the semester and season burned up all their time, but Jean sighed defeat. Jeremy s shoulders were still a tense line when Jean turned toward him, and his eyes were shadowed with regret and discomfort. Jean didn t know how to fix this, so he held the dog out in peace offering and said, If he is going to be a Moreau, he will have to learn French.
Jeremy gave a serious nod. I accept these terms.
Jeremy set Jabberwocky by his shark plush. The dog immediately picked it up and gave it such a vigorous shake he fell over, and Jeremy dissolved to helpless laughter. Jean tucked his knee to his chest again, content to watch while his thoughts went to war. Whose rules? Renee asked, and Neil s voice answered a carefree, The rules have changed.
Not for me, Jean warned himself, but for one moment, just this moment, he would let himself pretend.