Chapter Twenty-One
She loathed the month of February. It was the worst goddamn month of the year. Tax season. Calving season. Come to think of it, March wasn’t so great either, but it warmed up some at least.
Emily threw a frozen dinner in the microwave, leaned on the counter, and sighed. Her mom was at her office in town, where she’d stay until fuck knows when. Arien was happy at home, making vlog posts and getting fat, and Shiloh, due to have her baby any day now, was busy…nesting.
Yeah, that’s what she said.
When the boys weren’t up at the ranch pulling calves or mucking in cowpoo, they were at home, doting on Carrie. Not that Emily begrudged them for it. She didn’t. At all. They loved their mama; if anything, it proved what good men they were. Of course, she already knew that. Besides, wouldn’t she do the same for hers?
It’s just that it was February—no, scratch that—almost March, and she missed seeing their faces a whole heck of a lot.
The microwave signaled her dinner was done. Emily tossed it onto the island, burning her finger in the process, and sat down to eat it.
She poked at what the package said was Salisbury steak. It resembled a hockey puck covered in… “Shit. It looks like shit.”
“Probably tastes like it, too.”
Startled, she screamed, and throwing her fork up in the air, she turned around. “Jake? Jesus, Jake, you scared me.”
“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to.” But he was laughing. Then he handed her a white paper bag. “I brought you dinner.”
“Harry’s?”
“Wednesday’s meatloaf special,” he said with a wink, his arms coming around her. “Mashed potatoes, mushroom gravy, and a slice of cherry pie.”
“I got your cherry pie right here, cowboy.” Emily licked her lips, and sliding her hands inside the back pockets of his jeans, she pulled him close against her.
Warm breath fanned her face, his lips skating across her skin. “Yes, you do.”
And gazing into eyes of liquid metal, those perfect lips found hers. Effortlessly, his tongue slipped inside as fingers pressed into her spine, holding their bodies together. One kiss and the winter blues went out the window. They might come back again tomorrow, but even if it was just for tonight, she’d take it.
She nuzzled into his neck, taking comfort in his warmth, the familiar scent of his skin. “You’re stayin’ to have supper with me, aren’t you?”
“I wish I could, but I have to get up to the ranch. I’m already late.” With his fingers trailing through her hair, he kissed her crown. “I wanted to come see you, even if it was just for a minute.”
“I miss you.” She expected as much, but hoped they’d have a little longer.
“And I miss the hell outta you.” Jake squeezed her tight, emphasizing his words. “This isn’t gonna be forever. My mom’s gettin’ better every day, and calving will be over soon.”
Feels like forever.
“Not for another month.”
“Emily…”
Her nerves fired all at once. She clasped her hands around his neck and kissed him with every ounce of longing she had in her. And when she was done, Jake would leave here with swollen lips and a hard-on in his pants to think of her by.
He pulled away. “I’m sorry.”
“I know. You’ve gotta go.”
“I do,” he said, his lips skimming over her forehead. “I’ll try to stop by on my way home in the morning. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“I love you.” And he kissed her once more.
“I love you, too.”
She watched him go, tossing the shit-covered hockey puck into the trash.
Harry’s meatloaf, while delicious, was little consolation. Her vision blurring, Emily stared at the slice of cherry pie. Any other day she would’ve devoured it, but with the funk she was in, she had no appetite.
“Might as well just go to bed.” She huffed out a breath. “Great, and now I’m talkin’ to myself.”
The scrapbook Billy gave her for her birthday sat on her bedside table. Every memory they shared was in it—from playing in a sandbox as toddlers to the last bonfire party they went to before she turned eighteen.
Her fingertips rubbed over the leather cover. She opened it to the last page. A picture of her with Arien and Shiloh on the dance floor next to a shot of her sitting on a hay bale with her arms around Billy and Jake.
“That’s my future right there.” Emily smiled through the tears sliding down her face.
She realized then why he gave it to her. Not only to remember the past, but to remind her of what lie ahead. A crazy, beautiful, wonderful life . And with that thought, she wiped the tears from her eyes, turned off the light, and went to sleep.
Jake never came by.
Emily lingered in the kitchen, long after her mom left for town, but after two cups of coffee and a bowl of instant oatmeal, she headed out to the barn. He’d know where to find her. Besides, she couldn’t leave Ruby hungry and waiting.
“Mornin’, sweet girl,” she cooed, giving the horse an apple from her hand. “You know I’d never forget about you.”
Uncle Matty gave her the dapple gray mare on her tenth birthday. Tanner trained her himself, knowing who she was going to. A darker gray when Emily got her as a two-year-old, her coat changed drastically as the dapples appeared. Eventually, as Ruby got older, she’d likely turn all white.
“And you’ll still be gorgeous, won’t you?”
She made quick work of cleaning the stall and laid down a fresh layer of bedding. After giving her water and filling the feeder with a mix of hay and grain, Emily led her toward the door. “How about a little fresh air, huh? It’s cold, but you can run in the snow for a bit, then I’ll give you a good brushing.”
“Jake told me you were sad.” Billy stood with his hip propped against the wall. How long had he been standing there, watching her?
“I’m not sad, exactly.” With a pat on the rump, she sent Ruby out into the paddock. “I just…”
“I know. I miss you, too.” He pushed himself off the wall and came toward her. “So fuckin’ much. You have no idea.”
“I think I do.”
“Trust me, you don’t.” Billy shook his head. He picked up a strand of her hair, rubbing it between his fingers. “Baby, I’m dyin’.”
“Oh, Billy.” She took his hand, and kissing it, Emily held it to her face.
Calloused fingers stroked her cheek. “With my mom and everything…”
“Jake told me she’s getting better.”
“She is.” With a subtle nod, his forehead dropped to hers. “Justin takes her to Jackson for therapy every day. She’s determined to speak like she did before in time for our weddin’.”
“Then she will.”
“She just might. Stubborn woman.” He chuckled, his fingertips still on her face. “Don’t matter to me none. She’s still here. And to think I almost lost her.”
“But you didn’t.”
He looked lost, and so very tired, the worry and fear etched in the lines of his eyes. Lines that shouldn’t be there yet. When had he slept last? Everyone was taking care of his mother, but who was looking out for him?
“Can’t I just hold you, Billy?”
“Prob’ly not a good idea.” His lips pursed, he stared down at his boots. “Bein’ we’re alone and all, we’re playin’ with fire here.”
“Yeah, in a smelly, cold barn.” She cupped his cheek. “Don’t be silly, now. C’mere.”
He stepped into the circle of her arms. Holding his head to her shoulder, she traced soft circles on his back. Emily could feel his cock grow hard beneath his jeans, but she ignored it.
“See, baby?” She kissed his brow. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” he rasped, his nose buried in the hollow of her throat. “You don’t know how close I am to sayin’ fuck the damn rules.”
“Aren’t rules made to be broken?”
“Not this one.”
But his lips were on her skin. He dragged them up the side of her neck, catching her earlobe between his teeth. And all good reason left her, then. A tremor shooting through her at the contact, tingles popped between her thighs, and she whimpered.
“Fuck it.”
Maybe it was instinct. Maybe he didn’t mean to do it, but in a swift move along her jaw, those teeth took her bottom lip into his hungry, wet mouth. And like an animal who’d been deprived of his food, he kissed her.
Messy and primitive and raw. Choking on tongues. Biting on lips. Hands groping at whatever they could reach. They found an oasis in each other.
He rucked up her shirt and pulled down the cups of her bra. “Gimme those tits.”
Then his mouth was on her nipple, sucking and nipping the sentient flesh. God, how she’d missed this with him.
“Has Jake been takin’ good care of you, baby?”
“Yes.” Now, she could imagine what it was going to be like to have them both together.
“I can’t wait to watch him fuck you.”
Billy unzipped her jeans.
“Stretch that little hole wide open for me.”
His fingers went inside her. She was dripping.
“Yeah, baby, I’m gonna shove my dick right in there beside his and fuck you with him.”
And she gushed into his hand.
“That’s what you dream about, ain’t it?”
Please .
“Yes.” She grabbed onto his wrist. “Finger-fuck me, now. Hard. I need to come.”
He pushed her into the tack room and, pulling her pants down to her knees, Jake bent her over a chair. “How many fingers, baby? Jake get you up to four yet?”
“Sometimes.” Her thighs were shaking.
“Mmm.” He put in one, then two, then three. “Just wait ’til you take all five.”
“Fuck.”
“Like the thought of that, too, do ya?”
“Yes.” She heard his buckle unlatch.
He rubbed the hot fluid dripping out of her up the crack of her ass. “Me too, baby. If you can take my fist, then you can take us both inside you.”
“Are you gonna fist me now?” God, she wanted him to.
“Fuck, Em.” He fucked her cunt with his fingers, kissing his way up her spine. “You don’t know how bad I want to see my hand disappear inside you. It’s gonna happen, I promise, and when it does, we’ll all be together on our bed. Jake suckin’ on your titties. Rubbin’ your clit.”
Jesus .
“We’ll always know what you need.” The head of his dick poked at her asshole. “Play with your nipples, baby.”
“You don’t have lube.”
“I could get enough right here from you.” Billy’s fingers were in her pussy. He wasn’t wrong. “But don’t worry, I ain’t fuckin’ your ass here.”
He slid his dick between her cheeks, pumping his hips while he fucked her with his fingers. “I just love you so much.”
“And I love you.”
Sweat dripped from his hair onto her back, and he thrust faster and faster. His dick and his fingers were in perfect sync.
Hot semen spurted onto her skin.
Then he went still. He stayed like that for a moment, then catching his breath, Billy turned her around.
“I’m so sorry.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “Fuck, what have I done?”