The Heart of a Monster: The Complete Series

Chapter 18

Quinn

My ninth morning at the Sunshine Sin Hotel, I choked down my breakfast with nerves on edge, braced for Rollick’s arrival. He’d given me the rest of yesterday to recover from my escape attempt, but he’d taken precautions. When I’d tried to step onto the terrace just to get some fresh air in the afternoon, I’d found that both of the sliding doors were locked in some way I couldn’t open.

I guessed I couldn’t totally blame him for that when my last venture outside had nearly ended not only in my getting free of him but in my death as well.

I couldn’t really rest easy in the suite, though. He’d said he had no interest in killing me, and he’d sounded like he meant it. But the expectations he did have for me weren’t much better. I didn’t want to be the key figure in some supernatural war. And no matter how he phrased it, he clearly did see me as a tool… or he’d have cared more about my feelings on the subject.

Whatever he’d said, I was a prisoner here. I was trapped both by what my unwelcome powers meant to the shadowkind and by Rollick’s determination to use me to stand against them.

At least I had a better idea of the full situation and his intentions now. My escape attempt had gotten me that much, somehow or other.

When the demon finally did stroll into the suite—without knocking, like usual—I found his lack of concern for my privacy weirdly comforting. If he’d waited outside politely, I wasn’t sure I’d have trusted that to be real concern anyway rather than a gambit to try to convince me that he was reformed from his previous habits. He still saw me and these rooms as totally his.

I didn’t like it, but I knew where I stood.

He was carrying the same larger black box as yesterday, the one that presumably held a somewhat stronger shadowkind creature. I eyed it and then him as I got up from the chair where I’d been attempting to concentrate enough to work on a sketch. Rollick stopped on the other side of the sofa from me and arched an eyebrow as if inviting a comment.

Yeah, he was still the same arrogant jerk as he’d been before, even if he’d opened up a little more. Also still way too stunning to look at, but I could keep ignoring that. All I had to do was remember how he’d remarked on my supposedly private interlude with my men, and any heat that’d formed over my skin crawled away in disgust.

“Are you going to risk your upholstery or will I be allowed terrace access again?” I asked, keeping my voice dry even though my heart was thumping at an uneasy rhythm.

The corner of Rollick’s mouth quirked up in a crooked smile. Maybe he was relieved that I had enough spirit left to hassle him about his security precautions.

“I thought, just for the one night, it was better to give you time to totally gather your thoughts,” he said. “I don’t want to restrict your movement any more than necessary to keep you safe, even if it’s from yourself. But we do need to work together, which means a certain level of mutual trust is required. Are you willing to fully cooperate for the time being?”

“I won’t run off like that again,” I said, and meant it. I didn’t for a second believe he was really going to give me the leeway to try. He’d probably set up additional security to prevent me from getting anywhere near that far across the building even once I could go out onto the terrace again.

It was better if he thought I trusted him, though. The more freedom he allowed me, the more space I had to figure out other plans.

“Then we have no problems,” Rollick said with a wider smile. “Come on, I think you’ll like this beastie. We won’t do anything bloody today.”

Not today, but maybe tomorrow, that remark implied. I sighed and followed him out.

Once I’d stepped into the bright sunlight, I couldn’t help glancing around at the walls, checking for concealed devices. “Have you been recording me out here too? All over your suite?” In the bedroom? In the bathroom? I restrained a shudder.

Rollick paused, cocking his head as he studied me. “You’re still very bothered about that one point, aren’t you?”

I glowered at him. “You violated my privacy in a huge way. I didn’t want to star in a porno for your enjoyment. And you were trying to use it against me, to manipulate me—of course that ‘bothers’ me.”

The demon set down the carrier on the usual table and then walked over to lean back against the railing. The breeze ruffled his light brown hair. He looked unusually serious while he pondered his answer.

“I can see that,” he said finally. “I thought we were playing a different game from what it turned out to be. And really, I shouldn’t need to resort to deception to convince you of my charms. It was an ill-advised shortcut that I will not attempt again. I’m sorry.”

My eyebrows rose with automatic skepticism. “Are you really?”

His smile came back, sly around the edges. “I’m not going to get down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness. That’s not really my style. But yes, I’m sorry that I intruded where I wasn’t welcome and upset you.”

“Because now it’s going to be harder to charm me.”

He laughed and gave a brief shrug. “Sure, that’s part of it. But I also don’t like that it drove you to the point that you risked hurting yourself yesterday. And I’m not a sadist—I only enjoy tormenting beings that deserve it, which as far as I can tell you don’t. I regret doing so inadvertently.”

“For a millennia-old demon, you sure aren’t well-versed on what things upset humans,” I said with a grimace.

“Oh, you might be surprised by how many mortals get off on voyeurism. But like I said, I thought we were engaged in a different sort of game. Absolutely my fault.” He glanced toward the suite. “As for the rooms here, there are plenty of things I don’t want there to be any concrete record of me doing. And I have better things to do than spy on your every movement or peep at your body. If I want to see a naked woman, there are plenty who are happy to show off right in front of me downstairs.”

“So reassuring,” I muttered. I didn’t know if he was telling the truth about all that, but he still hadn’t shown any sign that he was aware of my scheming against him with the other men on the terrace, so maybe we were safe at least out here.

I paused and decided I might as well find out if I could push whatever leverage I’d gained yesterday a little farther.

“I want to see Torrent and Crag and Lance again,” I said, fixing him with my steadiest stare. “Without them having to sneak up here or worry about how you’ll react. If you want me cooperating, it’ll help a lot if I can actually spend time on a regular basis with the shadowkind I do totally trust.”

I thought Rollick’s jaw tightened just slightly, though he didn’t let his smile falter. “You won’t have the opportunity to make use of the guestroom next door again.”

“I don’t care about that. I don’t only enjoy their company for hooking up, you know. It’d give me someone to at least talk to now that you’ve cut me off from all the rest of society.”

“My conversational skills are so lacking?”

I rolled my eyes. “Other than the fact that you’re not even here for most of the day—not that I’m suggesting you should stop by more often—I’d rather talk to them. Sorry if your ego is so fragile that you’re offended by that fact.”

Rollick blinked at me and then tipped his head back with a laugh of pure amusement. “Well, when you put it that way, I really can’t deny you, can I? They are quite busy with discovering all we can about your real enemies, a mission I’d imagine you wouldn’t want to interrupt—they’d have been sneaking in more often if they’d had the chance, no doubt. But the next time they have a break, I’ll let them know there’ll be no punishment for coming up here for a visit.” He tsked his tongue teasingly at me. “Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

I couldn’t help snorting. “Somehow I have a feeling that doesn’t cover very much.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong.” The demon was outright grinning now, so I guessed the request hadn’t bothered him too much. He motioned to the carrier. “Can we begin, or do you have more demands to make, my stubborn sorcerer?”

Stop calling me yours, I thought, but I kept my mouth shut on that one. I could choose my battles for now, and somehow I suspected he’d laugh harder at that request. “Bring it out.”

When he opened the door to the carrier, this creature emerged of its own accord, slinking from the brightly lit space and cringing at the sunlight outside. It was an oddly spindly thing, nearly skeletal in the vague shape of a wiener dog, with wings protruding from its back that were covered in flesh so gauzy it might have been made out of spun spider webs. It glanced at me and bared a mouth full of piranha-like teeth.

Okay, I definitely didn’t want to get too close to that one.

“What do you want me to do with it?” I asked doubtfully.

Rollick tapped a finger against his lips. “Let’s start with a sprint around the terrace. Give it a good warm-up.”

I dragged in a breath and focused on the small beast the way I’d been learning to do. Part of my concentration roused the wavering energy in my chest. My pulse beat faster, one of those unnerving wobbles rippling through it.

I pictured the creature darting around the edge of the terrace, focusing on the idea of it staying clear of me while it did, which I definitely wanted. And in that way I still didn’t understand, a surge of energy pushed a burst of sound from my lips.

The creature leapt forward. It jumped off the table and dashed past me toward the far end of the terrace. I spun to follow its course, and weirdly… felt as much as saw when my control started to slip.

As it reached the far wall, its muscles coiled to spring right over the railing into the shadows farther along the building. But I knew that less because of observing its odd anatomy and more because a hint of the impulse flickered through me: to flee, to get away.

Or maybe I was only imagining that from my observations because it matched my own urges so well. I opened my mouth, knowing I needed to rein it in and having no idea how—but my sorcerer instincts kicked in again of their own accord.

The magic crackled up from my chest and over my tongue. I barked a command, and the thing swiveled in mid-spring. It darted around the side of the terrace by the suite windows without missing another beat. Then it stopped and huddled under the table where it’d started. The edges of its body hazed, but when Rollick crouched next to it with what must have been an implicit threat, it flinched and resolidified.

He looked up at me from that vantage point, grinning. “That was a nice catch. You’re adapting well on the spot.”

Only I had no clue how or why… I didn’t understand any of this still. Cool nausea clamped around my gut again. How was I supposed to be the deciding force in a battle when I couldn’t really control my own powers or predict how they’d present themselves? I would be just a tool if all I did was follow Rollick’s commands by rote.

Not to mention…

“It wouldn’t have worked if I couldn’t see it to know I needed to adapt,” I said. “My magic wasn’t controlling it completely. And it’s just a little lesser creature, not the powerful higher shadowkind you think we’re up against.”

“Patience,” Rollick said. “You’ve made major strides in just a few days. Usually with these sorts of things, once you’ve grasped the basics, the rest comes much more quickly.”

He couldn’t know that for sure, though. He’d just been telling me yesterday how rare I was.

I paused and met his gaze. “Why are you relying on me? You’re a super powerful demon, as you like to remind everyone around you as often as possible. If you’re so worried about these assholes, why don’t you just crush them before they can carry out their plans?”

“We don’t know who we’re up against yet,” Rollick reminded me. “It is possible they could prove a real challenge to me on my own, although I’m flattered by your faith in me.” When I wrinkled my nose at the assumed compliment, he laughed and went on. “I think I might have mentioned before that I like to be thorough in my preparations. It’s better if you’re ready if we need you, don’t you think?”

“Sure,” I said, but I doubted that was the main reason. He’d also mentioned more than once that he didn’t like to draw attention to himself by interfering with other shadowkind or even sorcerers. He probably just wanted to hang back in the shadows and not take any of the heat, even if tackling these villains directly would have been much simpler and easier for the rest of us.

As I turned my attention back to the creature under the table, anticipating the demon’s next instructions, a renewed sense of resolve eased my earlier edginess. Rollick might not want to deal with the other shadowkind head on, but if I got my way, he wasn’t going to have a choice. This was his fight, his game, and so he ought to be the one playing it.