Chapter 20
Quinn
Iwas examining the frame of the bed when the rasp of footsteps in the living room reached my ears. I leapt to my feet, my pulse stuttering, abruptly overwhelmed with gratitude for my past self’s wisdom in keeping the bedroom door shut so my visitor couldn’t have seen me in that odd pose.
I opened the door to find Rollick on the other side, about to reach for the handle. He didn’t look at all startled by my abrupt appearance, stepping forward to glance past me into the room with an upbeat but oddly intense air. “Do you still have the wig and the dress I had you wear for your arrival?”
My pulse hiccupped to even greater effect. “Of course,” I said. “Why? Do I need to leave?” Had the plans we’d made been thrown off just a day before we’d meant to carry them out?
But Rollick took in my reaction and smiled in his annoyingly charming way. “Don’t panic. You wanted to see more of the hotel. I might not be able to offer you a view of your parents anymore, but I’m giving you the chance to stretch your legs, so to speak. In a less precarious way than previously.”
I blinked at him, taking a moment to process the words. “You’re letting me go out into the rest of the hotel? But?—”
He raised a hand dismissively. “I know what I said. I have a very good memory. That’s why we’re having you put on your fancy vest with the dress to hide it, and the wig to disguise your looks even more. And we’ll stick to parts where you won’t be available for close inspection, at least to begin with.”
Why was he offering this gesture now? My heart thumped faster again, but this time it was more in anticipation than fear. I might get the chance to learn something that would strengthen our plans or help us stay ahead of the demon if he gave chase afterward. No way could I pass up the opportunity.
“All right,” I said, managing to smile back. “Thank you.” I grasped the door handle and looked at his position right on the threshold. “I’m going to close the door before I get changed. Just because you got a show without my knowing about it doesn’t mean I want to do a repeat performance.”
A bit of an edge crept into my voice with those words, but Rollick took it in stride with a chuckle. “Your maidenly honor is perfectly safe,” he said, and turned on his heel.
As I pushed the door shut and turned to riffle through the wardrobe to figure out where I’d stuffed my previous disguise, Rollick started to hum a jaunty little tune to himself. At first, I thought he was trying to irritate me. Then a thought occurred to me that was startling enough that I froze in place.
He was making noise so I’d know for sure he was out there and not spying on me from the shadows in here. I hadn’t really thought he would, but it’d been important enough to him to confirm it for me all the same.
I didn’t know how to feel about that consideration.
Well, I’d known he could be considerate, or at least act like it, when he wanted something. He was still trying to win me over like he had been all along. He’d just learned more about what tactics I’d appreciate.
I couldn’t trust a single thing the demon did, not really.
Finally I dug out the dress and wig from amid the heap of clothes Rollick kept in his bedroom for purposes I could only speculate on. There were women’s and men’s things, but I knew the shadowkind could conjure their clothes around their physical bodies as they took on concrete form. Mementos from past “guests”? Spare clothes in case those guests needed a change of outfit? Stale perfume clung to a few of the items, suggesting they’d been worn at some point.
I tugged on my silver-and-iron vest with a soft hiss of the beads and then layered the loose dress on top of it. Studying myself in the mirror, I adjusted it until I was sure it didn’t reveal any odd bulges when I shifted my position. Then I pulled my hair into a quick braid so I could tuck it under the wig.
I’d left the makeup bag on the vanity, untouched since my arrival. I dabbed on some lipstick for good measure, deciding not to bother with the bronzer. It would probably look too obviously fake if I did end up passing close by anyone. I was no makeup genius.
When I emerged from the bedroom, Rollick stopped his ambling circuit of the room and his humming to look me over. I expected to cringe under his attention, but his gaze felt more assessing than leering. He gave a brisk nod of approval and motioned for me to join him.
“You should keep quiet unless I indicate that you should speak,” he said as we headed out and up the stairs that led to his office level. “For your own safety. It’s not likely we’ll end up in a situation where we’ll be chatted up anyway, but just in case.”
“I get it.” A nervous shiver rippled through me. As much as I wanted a better understanding of my luxurious cage, I couldn’t help asking, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“I wouldn’t be doing it if I wasn’t,” Rollick said smoothly. He shot me another smile. “You know, I didn’t shut you away in my suite for any reason other than your own protection. I’d happily have given you free run of the hotel if I thought there wasn’t a danger in it.”
Yeah, I believed he would have. He’d have trusted that I wouldn’t make a run for it because I’d have known how quickly he could track me down—and the consequences that I and the people I cared about might face for my defiance. My lungs tightened as I thought of my parents back in Florida?—
No. If we escaped his clutches, if he had no idea where we were and was busy licking his wounds from a battle with my other enemies, threatening my parents wouldn’t do him any good. And if I didn’t get free before he arranged another deal, I might lose what little protection I’d already arranged, as well as my chance to escape.
We stepped onto the elevator, which whirred down to the second floor. It opened to a narrow hall where bass pounded through the walls. Rollick led me down the shadowy space to a door he unlocked with his thumbprint.
He slipped through the doorway first, paused, and gestured for me to follow. As I crossed the threshold, the music washed over me with a reverberation I could feel down to my bones.
We were in a room about the size of the bedroom upstairs, with a couple of small tables surrounded by sleek but cozy armchairs in the same wine-red as much of his other furniture. A window that filled the entire opposite wall let in multi-colored strobe lights and a view of the club beyond.
It wasn’t that late, only around nine at night, but dancers already undulated throughout the space, both on the floor below us and on the second level of the club that stood across from Rollick’s private, enclosed room. The strobe lights wavered over them, shifting to a green and blue that made their bobbing forms look as if they were rolling in the ocean surf. The boldest dancers—maybe they were trained professionals—gyrated on a low stage at the back of the room.
“Are all of these people staying at the hotel?” I asked, staring out at them.
Rollick came up beside me and shook his head. “Hotel guests get special benefits like a free drink, but the club area is open to the general public. It’s quite popular. People line up for over an hour to get in. There’ve been catfights over the guest list.”
I turned to face him. “Am I supposed to be impressed by that?”
“I suppose you wouldn’t be.” He swept his hand toward the hundreds of people enjoying the club. “It means something to all of them, though.”
“So this is your grand achievement?” I asked, unable to restrain a note of skepticism. “You’ve spent millennia building up your power and influence so you could give people a place where they can party?”
The demon shot me a look that was both amused and baleful. Then he sank into an armchair that was just a couple of feet from the glass. He patted his knee. “They can see us too, if not in much detail. They should think you’re ‘entertaining’ me if we want to keep up appearances. Come sit.”
I balked. “Please tell me this isn’t the real reason you wanted me to come down here. I’m going back to the suite—alone—if you’re just looking to cop a feel.”
Rollick laughed. “I promise I can keep my hands to myself. Just perch there; it won’t kill you. I’d like to show you something—about the club, not anything perverse.”
He sounded relaxed enough about the situation that I relaxed too. I didn’t want anyone looking up and thinking Rollick had brought a woman around who was acting strangely. If suspicion somehow came down on him before we were ready, that could be disastrous.
Tentatively, I walked over and lowered myself onto his lap, trying not to look awkward about it while staying perched a few inches away from the rest of his well-built body. No way was I going to lean right into him like I was actually cuddling up with the demon.
Rollick let out a soft chuckle and set his hand on my waist to steady me. It stayed there, a mild warmth seeping through my clothing to match the warmth of his thigh beneath mine, and didn’t venture anywhere more sensitive. Still, every nerve in my body was on edge.
“There,” the demon said. “That isn’t so horrible, is it? I can behave myself when I need to.”
I ignored both him and the thrum of tension that had formed between my legs at the feel of him beneath me, focusing on the dancers beyond the window. My stance swayed a little with the rhythm of the music. “What is it you wanted to show me?”
“All work, no play.” Rollick tsked teasingly at me, his thumb tracing a careful arc over my side. “Take a look at all those people out there. Notice anything unusual?”
I frowned and leaned forward, squinting through the uneven patches of light. At first, I had no idea what he was talking about. The dancers shimmied and swiveled in their club clothes—a little fancier than I typically saw at the club near the university that I occasionally popped into, but that was the only difference.
Then a few details here and there caught my eye. A guy near the platform adjusted the hat he’d left on, and I’d swear I caught a glimpse of a shape like a small horn above his ear. Another man deeper into the crowd twisted in a way that brought out the impression of small spikes down his spine pressing against his shirt just for an instant. And a woman near him spun with a flash of red in her eyes.
If I hadn’t known the shadowkind existed, I might not have noticed those glimpses at all or would have assumed they were tricks of the light. But I did know now, and I also knew who this club belonged to.
“You have shadowkind patrons too,” I said.
Rollick hummed in agreement. “It’s hard for all of them to stay completely under the radar to someone alert. But if they can pass, they’re welcome. Nearly half of the beings here tonight are shadowkind, like usual.”
“Half?” I stared at the dancers again, picking out a few more figures who looked supernaturally attractive or graceful or whatever—though not so much that I’d have thought they were anything other than exceptional humans before. Others, I had no idea which might be mortal and which were simply pretending at it.
“Why do they all come here?” I asked. “I mean, I’m sure you’re a great host and all, but they really care about dancing that much?”
“It’s not just about the dancing.” Rollick gazed past me out the window in a moment of unusually pensive contemplation. “You took a jab at me about what I’ve built over all this time. I’ve built places where the shadowkind who feel more at home in this realm than our own can enjoy everything it has to offer while knowing their interests will be protected, and I’ll continue to build more every time the currents shift.”
I cocked my head. “Do they really need protecting?”
“Does Torrent?” Rollick asked simply. “Or Lance, or Crag? You seem to think they do, and there are plenty of beings down there less capable than they are. I’m not going to deny that there’s a tendency in us toward aggression and brutality. There’s a reason mortals have labeled us monsters on the rare occasions they’ve stumbled on us. But plenty of us aren’t interested in indulging in those urges unless forced to, and I keep those who’d want to hunt and exploit out so they can’t bother anyone. I lay down rules so less experienced or… intelligent beings don’t make any mistakes that’d come down on the rest of us.”
He made it all sound so fair and even generous. The impression didn’t sit totally right with me. “What about all the mortals down there? Who’s protecting them?”
“Don’t you worry about that,” Rollick said with another stroke of his thumb. “I might not always have enormous respect for humankind, but I have nothing against them. Some of them are amusing or charming in their own ways.” He tapped his fingers against my side as if to count me in that number. “They get to have a good time within the rules I’ve laid down too, no one harmed or disturbed. Unless they try to play predator themselves, in which case I think a little terror is good for them.”
I couldn’t say he was wrong. I glanced over my shoulder at him, my skin increasingly flushed from our closeness. “Why did you get started on this mission of yours?”
Something shuttered behind the demon’s dark blue eyes. He gave me a lazy smile. “That’s a long story and not particularly interesting. I just thought it might help you in arranging your priorities to know more about who you’re working with. What I stand for. What I’m trying to preserve from idiots who think they can rearrange the structure of both the realms.”
The mark he was leaving on society, whether most of us humans had any clue or not. The thought tugged at me in a way that hollowed out my stomach.
Maybe he had built something impressive, something admirable, whatever his reasons were for doing it. He’d gotten thousands of years to lay the groundwork, and he probably had thousands more to repeat his successes.
My own life felt as miniscule as a handful of sand, the grains currently slipping through my fingers too quickly for me to catch them.
A sudden melancholy swept over me, dulling the energetic beat of the music as completely as if someone had tossed a thick blanket over my head. My throat tightened. All at once I wanted to be anywhere but here. And definitely not with the company I currently had.
“All right,” I said, with conscious effort to keep my voice even. “I’ve seen it. Can we go now? It’s probably better if I’m not on display for very long anyway, right?”
If Rollick was bothered by my abrupt request, he didn’t show it. He gave me a gentle nudge, and I stood, folding my arms over my chest and holding back from outright hugging myself. He set his hand on the small of my back to guide me out of the room, and I didn’t argue. It was all for appearances anyway.
“There’s one more thing I’d like you to see,” he said as we walked down the hall to the elevator. “It won’t put you on display at all.”
“All right,” I said, not wanting to make a big thing of my mood—not wanting to invite questions.
We got off at the top floor by his office, but instead of turning to the stairs that led to his private suite, Rollick ushered me in the other direction, to a different flight that went up. We stepped out into cooling night air onto a patio scattered with empty tables and a shadowed bar area beyond them.
“The rooftop lounge is closed for ‘maintenance’ tonight,” Rollick said in a dry voice, and motioned me over to the wall at the opposite end of the bar. As I approached it, my heart somehow soared and plummeted at the same time.
The only view I’d gotten from the hotel before now was the vast stretch of the ocean. This was the city side.
Before me sprawled Los Angeles. Beneath the sprinkling of stars, the buildings glowed with vibrant colors: purples, blues, ambers, and here and there a gleam of hot pink. Cars wove between the buildings, casting the streams of their headlights in front of them. It was an immense urban jungle, but a gorgeous one.
My fingers curled around the railing at the top of the wall, clutching it tight. More pressure filled my throat and formed behind my eyes. I felt as if I were clinging on against nearly as stark a fall as I’d faced yesterday morning.
“I thought you’d appreciate seeing the city from up here,” Rollick said, leaning against the railing a few feet away from me. “What with all your architectural interests. There aren’t many vantage points as good as this.”
He spoke casually with no hint that he saw the gesture as anything momentous, but his words broke a crack in the dam I’d been holding against my emotions. Before I could catch myself, a sob burst from my throat. I clapped my hand over my eyes as tears gushed out faster than I could blink them back.
Shit, shit, shit. I sucked in a shaky breath, swiping at my eyes, struggling to get control of myself. He must think I was pathetic. How could he possibly understand the fears I’d been grappling with most of my life, the sense of loss that was growing with every day that slipped through my fingers because of this stupid magic I’d never wanted inside me?
It would have been hard enough to make my own mark on the world before my time was up and my heart gave out even before the latent sorcerer powers had kicked in. Now… now I had no idea if I’d ever finish another project for class, let alone see one of the breathtaking skyscrapers I’d imagined brought to life.
Every time I tried to steady myself, another wave of anguish rocked me. I gulped and sniffled, turning away so at least the demon wouldn’t get to witness me falling apart—but then Rollick’s hand was on my shoulder, light but solid, easing me back around toward him.
“Hey,” he said, sounding a little bewildered but not at all mocking. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s not— You weren’t—” I couldn’t quite choke out the words to form any kind of explanation. “I’ll be fine.” Couldn’t he just bring me back to the suite and be done with it?
Apparently not. He leaned closer and wiped a tear I’d missed from my cheek with his thumb, his expression almost inquisitive, as if I was displaying a rare phenomenon he’d never witnessed before. “You’re not fine right now. What can I do for you?”
He could give me my life back. He could make everything go back to normal. Except he couldn’t actually do either of those things. He couldn’t do anything at all—he wouldn’t even if he could—he was part of the problem.
I shook my head, still struggling to get a grip on myself. The flood of tears had slowed, but they were seeping out in a trickle, my breath hitching.
Rollick gave a thoughtful hum and glanced past me toward the view. “It’s a very sad thing if you like Jacksonville so much that the City of Angels disappoints you.”
The remark was so wry and ridiculous that a laugh tumbled through the gloom that’d been wrapped around me. I sputtered something not quite a giggle or a sob and found I could take my next breath without it catching in my throat. “As always, you think very highly of everything to do with you.”
“Only because I have ample evidence that it’s deserved,” Rollick replied with total assurance, a subtle smile returning. “But I suppose we all have our own tastes, as wrong as some of those might be.”
I managed to glower at him, and he shot a full grin back at me, and suddenly my balance felt steadier again. I didn’t exactly feel good, but I wasn’t on the verge of a total breakdown, so I’d call that a win.
“Agree to disagree,” I muttered at him.
He chuckled. “Fair enough. May I escort you back to the suite, Quinn? I’m sure you’ve had enough of my company for tonight.”
I’d had enough of his company for a lifetime, but it seemed rude to point that out when he was being so gracious about the whole situation, pretending I hadn’t just fallen apart in front of him when he could have been heckling me about my mortal sensibilities or something.
I simply nodded and walked with him back to the suite. He saw me in with a promise that we’d “have more fun tomorrow” and a onceover that was only slightly more pensive than usual, and then he let me be.
And as the door shut behind him, I found myself weirdly glad that he’d been there when I’d had the meltdown. That I hadn’t been on my own, drowning in the emotions with no one to snap me out of them.
A prick of guilt formed in my gut. I scowled and strode through the suite to toss myself onto the bed.
I wasn’t going to have any regrets about doing whatever I had to do to escape this place and the demon who’d brought me here. Even when he was theoretically being kind, it was always for his own benefit.
Nothing was going to sway me from making whatever desperate grab I could at reclaiming the life I was supposed to have, short as it might be.