Chapter 24
24
Charley
I hold on to Cade’s hand. “It was the weirdest thing,” I tell Cade. “I don’t know what it was about Coach visiting, but Dad’s really stepped up to the plate.”
Outside Cade’s car, Warner breezes by. The streets are empty of pedestrians, but there are a fair few cars on the road, most likely everyone traveling to spend Thanksgiving with loved ones.
“That’s great, Charley. So, he’s on board with getting in shape?”
I shrug because I never really know with my dad. “He seems to be. Coach showing up like that was such a shock. I mean, I thought my dad was going to lose it at first. He got super agitated but then Coach sat next to him, holding his hand and patting his shoulder. I’ve never seen Coach outside of practice or a game. I had no idea he could be that gentle.”
“He’s a good guy.”
Cade shifts in his seat. In fact, now that I notice it, he’s been stiff and distracted since he picked me up. He said he just wanted to take a ride with me before he went to Spring Hill.
He crawls to a stop about a block away from my house, pulling over to the side of the road. Turning to me, he smiles.
My stomach flips. “What’s going on?”
“We did something for your dad. For you, too, I guess.”
“We?” My heart starts to hammer.
“The team. My friends. Some of my family, too.”
My hands start to shake. “You’re scaring me…”
He chuckles. “It’s nothing bad.”
My mind whirs, adrenaline kicking in to the point where I can barely think. My anxiety meter rockets all the way to full speed.
“You should have seen everyone come together. It was nothing short of a miracle.”
My blood races in my ears, a rhythmic knocking in my head.
“Are you ready?”
Cade doesn’t wait for me to answer. He pulls the car forward. I close my eyes, fingernails sinking into the fabric of the car seat while I try to calm my breaths. It feels like the moment before a thunderclap—anticipating, watching the ugly clouds roll in and the rumble of warning until everything hits a fever pitch.
My eyes open, and I spot the front gate first. It’s not crooked, and…the paint isn’t chipped. In fact, it’s brand new.
Wait, the lawn is mowed.
Cade stops in front of the house, and I scramble out, my gaze darting everywhere. He talks in the background, but all I hear is the warning rumble of my heart as it fissures.
A ramp, frosty with the morning dew, switches back and— I gulp. New porch. Is the house painted, too?
Tears spring to my eyes. I catch the words “dozens of people” and “I met your neighbors.”
A cold sweat breaks out across my face and shoulders. Nausea rolls in. Oh my God, they didn’t. My space. My dirty little secret I tried so desperately to keep.
I run toward the gate, throwing it open, and race right up the new steps. My hands shake as I put my key in the lock, twisting. Bursting inside, I run through the living room, the kitchen, and grip the counter over the sink.
Everything looks untouched in here. The quick sigh of relief I let go is replaced with a scowl when Cade’s voice sounds behind me.
I whirl, panic stricken.
He sees me and takes a step in reverse. The smile dies from his face like a cardiac monitor announcing a flatline. “Charley?”
“Get. Out,” I growl.
He blinks. “I?—”
“Get out!” I scream, a cry erupting from the depths of my throat.
He backs up as I move toward him like a battering ram protecting my space. Cade’s always had a way of weaseling his way in, but this is an assault on my privacy. Horror. Mortification. All those prying eyes. What did they think when they saw where I lived?
I can’t even bear to think about it. My stomach rolls again, and I think I might be sick. I band my arm around my middle like I can prevent it from happening.
“I’m not your charity case,” I stumble forward, hand gripping the doorjamb. His perfect sneakers step on the brand-new wood of the porch. The floor doesn’t creak or give.
“Of course you aren’t. Charley. You said you needed a ramp.”
“I was taking care of it!” More tears run down my cheeks, and Cade looks on, distraught.
“I’m helping because I love you.”
I shake my head. No. No, no, no. My mind keeps repeating the word. I’d forgotten love brings nothing but pain. Just like this. A sob escapes. “I can’t believe you did this.”
“Helped you? You can’t believe I helped you, Charley? I care about you. So many other people care about you. My cousin did the work for free. All the guys. Kenna. Bailey. My friends from home. We all came together so your dad could return to the house safely, like you needed.”
With each listing of the names, all I do is add them to the list of people I can never see again. It’s like he’s hurling spikes at me, ripping out my insides. They saw my house. Every embarrassing detail. And now, what? I owe all of them for the luxury of them “helping” me?
I clench my stomach again.
Cade reaches out, but I bat him away. “You brought everyone here like I’m this lonely girl shaking an empty cup on the street. Don’t you get it, Cade? I didn’t want you to see my house, and you brought everyone here. Everyone .”
“We—”
“Picked up after me like I’m some sort of slob. You painted the house. You replaced the whole damn porch. Why? Because I’m a lazy piece of shit?”
“They needed a stable foundation to attach the ramp to.”
I run my hands through my hair, tugging at the ends. I look all around. Everything broken made brand new. It’s like he had to fix me up in order to be with me, and I finally pinpoint the words my brain has been trying to tell me. He doesn’t think I’m good enough. He had to bring all his friends here to elevate me.
“Charley, I don’t know what’s going on here. I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that. I thought you were going to be happy. You could be with your dad while I did this. You told me on the phone you didn’t know how you were going to do it, and I did it for you because I love you.”
“Stop saying that.”
His face contorts. “Why?”
“Because you don’t know what it is. Love is heartbreak. Just like this. I told you when we first met that love was a disease, and I fucking meant it.”
“No. Don’t do that. Don’t say that.”
“It’s true! I’m so sick right now I can’t stand it.”
“I helped you!” he screams.
The full force of his anger makes me take a step back inside the house.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he repeats, moving forward. I wrangle just out of reach, warning him with my glare not to come any closer. His whole body deflates. “Why don’t you love me?” His face pinches. “Why won’t you love me?”
Instead of answering him, I return to the real problem at hand. “You knew how embarrassed I was of this house. Of what I went through. Yet, you thought that I would be pleased that you had the whole damn football team, plus my new friends and your family, walking around here, cleaning it up?” I scan my yard, biting my lip. “They trimmed the bushes!”
Cade’s jaw hardens. “Stop. Think about what you’re saying. You sound…crazy.”
“Oh, I’m crazy? You think I’m crazy? Why? Because I didn’t break down and bow at your feet because you swooped in and tried to fix my life when—oh, guess what? No one asked you to!”
He swallows, then looks away, nodding. “You’re right. No one did. I thought that was the point. That I would step up when you needed me without asking.”
“Everyone was here !”
“Get over it!” he snarls. “They were here because they care about you. They heard your dad was sick and wanted to help. Or at least they did. Maybe when they find out you couldn’t care less, they’ll wish they never did anything.”
“Good,” I force out. “I hope so. If that was supposed to guilt me, it didn’t work. You overstepped. You all overstepped.”
“Fine.” He lifts his shoulders. “I have a Thanksgiving meal to catch. With people who actually care about me.”
I clench my jaw.
“I’d ask you if you want a ride to your grandma’s, but I wouldn’t want to invade your privacy anymore.”
He turns, bounding down the steps and marching across the sidewalk toward his car. What little was left of my heart severs completely.
At the gate, he suddenly turns. “You know, I’m really glad you did this. Now, I can find someone who wants to love because you actually showed me that’s what I want.” He throws up his hands. “Ironic, huh?”
He gets in his car and starts it. He lingers there, glaring at me through the window, but I stay in place. His stare turns colder, and then he looks away. But what really gets to me is the exact moment he drives away. He doesn’t look back. He doesn’t peer at me wistfully, he just drives and then it’s like he was never here at all. Ever.
I sink to my knees just inside the house, all the fight leaving me in an instant. I clutch at my heart, the cries escaping me foreign and unbidden. He left.
Like everyone else. My mom. My grandma. Checked out just like my dad.
An animal-like cry pours from my mouth before I curl into a ball and sob on the wooden floor.