The Heartbreak Hotel (Sandy Springs #1)

Chapter Five

Ella

The morning sun shone brightly, warming the back of Ella’s neck and legs. She and the other ten people from her group were facing the front, awaiting Riley’s arrival. Their yoga mats lay on their left, and the grey stone courtyard stretched ahead of them before disappearing into a beautiful view of the ocean. Green vines snaked up the wooden beams on either side, their pink and yellow flowers overhanging the pathways to the breakfast hall and reception building. At the front, a round fountain shot water up into the sky.

Everybody was silent, even Pauline next to Ella—though she was probably all cried out from earlier. Despite Ella’s best attempts, the woman had depleted Ella’s tissues and rubbed snot all over her favourite pyjama top. The rest of the group were women, except for a tall, skinny man called Rick and a balding guy who was dressed like it was winter instead of the hot Portuguese summer. Ella’s gaze roamed over his multicoloured wool jumper before settling back at the front. She dreaded to think what he smelt like under there.

Waves crashed in the distance, mingling with the tinkling of wind chimes. Ella was more than ready to learn some new poses to make Maeve’s girlfriend eat her free designer hats—and then some. How hard could it be?

A gong sounded, the deep hum echoing through the air. Riley appeared from underneath the canopy of flowers, dressed in her smart green uniform, and took her place in front of the fountain.

Ella’s belly tingled against her best efforts. Riley’s long blonde hair was pulled up into a bun on top of her head, two strands framing either side of her face, drawing attention to her strong jaw.

“Good morning, everyone.” She brought her hands together and flashed a practised smile at the group. When her gaze avoided Ella’s, the tingles in her stomach dropped like falling knives. “I’m Riley, and I’ll be taking your yoga sessions for these three weeks. Every morning, we’ll convene here, join together for breathing exercises, and start the day by tuning into the earth’s natural energies.”

Breathing? Ella’s disappointment sunk even lower, curdling around her insides. That was hardly the tricky headstand-bendy-legs pose Annabelle constantly bragged about.

Riley took a few steps, her bare feet graceful on the stone. “I know some of you are probably thinking ‘ Breathing? What does breathing have to do with anything? ’ but it is the very core of our being. There’s nothing more natural and universal than breathing. We do it all the time without thinking about it at all, and by making this a conscious effort, we can strengthen the connection with our minds and bodies.”

Her attention drifted over the group again, passing over Ella like she didn’t even recognise her.

Ella hadn’t known what to expect seeing her today, but the lack of acknowledgement stung like a wet fish to the face. She’d hoped their afternoon spent cloud-gazing and talking had meant something, and had proved she still had those qualities Maeve once fell in love with. But the message was loud and clear: Ella was still at the top of the loser pile. Riley had just been doing her job, after all.

Of course that’s all it was. She was so desperate to be wanted, she’d misread her kindness as attraction. You idiot, Ella.

“Many of you might think the most important part of yoga is the poses,” Riley continued, “but in fact, it’s our breath. How many of you feel stressed in your day-to-day life?”

Everyone raised their hands, but Ella watched on, squashing her mouth into a hard line to stop it wobbling.

“Part of your time at Sandy Springs is reminding yourselves about the simpler things in life that are often overlooked or forgotten. Something as simple as a few minutes focusing on your breathing can have many positive effects, like relieving stress and anxiety, improving sleep, and lowering blood pressure. The best thing?” She grinned, and Ella could see the dimples in her cheeks, even from metres away. “Anyone can do it.”

Riley guided the group through some breathing techniques as the sun arched higher. Even with the peaceful atmosphere and the lulling waves of the sea, Ella’s temple throbbed. She relaxed her jaw and tried to focus on inhaling and exhaling, but it looked stupid—she knew. She’d been peeking at everyone else sitting cross-legged on their mats.

The fact that Pauline kept trumping out of time with the windchimes didn’t help matters, either.

She didn’t want to look stupid. She’d spent her whole life trying to fit in. To be as talented as Devin or as thin as Winnie. To be pretty enough for Maeve, and smart enough for her family. But it was never good enough. Ella always fucked it up somehow. Even trying to help Pauline, she ended up falling down the cliff and acting like a deranged ape in front of Riley.

No wonder she isn’t interested.

She scrunched her eyes tighter, trying to focus, but her mind drifted to Maeve’s long legs. Her mother’s cheerful holiday face. Her brother, his perfect fiancée, their perfect twins and their three show-quality Ragdoll cats. And here Ella was, sitting with a bunch of life’s rejects, with no job prospects, barely clinging onto her own self-worth. Even getting rejected by Riley hurt, and she’d only known her for two minutes. Maybe Riley would prefer Annabelle over Ella, too.

God, what am I talking about? I am pathetic.

She clenched and relaxed her hands in her lap, the soft skin a little sore from her tree-climbing expedition earlier. Her breaths came hard and fast, air pushing through her nostrils like a steam train. That definitely wasn’t the group’s objective. Great. Now she couldn’t even get breathing right. She was the queen reject of life’s rejects. What was—

“Ella.” Riley’s soft voice made her jump, and she snapped her eyes open, finding her calm blues gazing back at her. Riley placed her hands on her shoulders as they heaved up and down. “Breathe with me. In through the nose. Out through the mouth.”

Ella did as she was told, spellbound by her swirling irises and the shape of her lips.

“Breathe slow and deep. One…two…three…four.” Ella breathed with her, looking deep into her eyes. The mix of blue and turquoise steadied her, but the longer she looked, the more variations she noted. A neat hazel ring around Riley’s pupil. A smaller cobalt one, too. She observed a particularly nice fleck of green as it glinted in the su nlight, the colours seeming to liquify and shimmer. Her heart finally settled into a steady rhythm, and the corners of Riley’s mouth quirked, her eyes taking on a new look that made Ella’s belly tingle.

“Good. Now, I want you to try something with me.” She took a seat beside Ella on the stone floor and easily crossed her legs.

Very flexible , Ella noted.

“Close your eyes again,” Riley said, waiting until Ella had shut them before continuing. “Stay with the same breathing cycle, but this time, imagine a bubble forming around you. In, hold, then release, all for four counts. Every time your mind tries to take you somewhere else, acknowledge it, but then focus back on your breathing and building your bubble.”

Ella tried, but she was conscious of the others watching her. Riley too. She didn’t want to look more of an idiot than she already had.

She opened an eye, shooting a glance at Riley. Her eyes were closed, hands relaxed on the bend of her knees, chest rising and falling in a perfect rhythm. Ella could count the freckles across her cheeks.

“No peeking.” Riley’s lips curved into a smile.

Ella’s cheeks flushed. How did she know?

She clamped her eyes shut again and sighed. I can do this. It’s as easy as… well, breathing. She relaxed her hands, trying to mirror Riley, and counted to four. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Her mind protested at first, but then she visualised her breath forming a protective bubble around her.

Inhale … The bubble glowed, its pale blue hue radiating light.

Exhale … The protective circle stretched, growing stronger with every breath.

Inhale…

When Riley’s voice announced it was the end of class, Ella could hardly believe it. A light weightlessness cradled her body, and the floating sensation lifted her to her toes. She squinted against the bright light as Riley brought the session to an end.

The group bowed as a collective, and Ella flinched, pain spreading up her back. Was that from her tumble down the cliff or her near drowning? Who knew.

She stretched, feeling a warm tug in her muscles, keeping her eye on Riley as she spoke with Rick by the fountain. His hands moved wildly as they chatted, like he’d just seen a UFO battle with sky sharks and not spent the last hour practising steady breathing.

Pauline popped into view, lifting her arms up to the sky. “Wowsies! Wasn’t that fantastic? I feel s–o–o–o relaxed.” She plopped the pink hat back on top of her head, almost knocking it into Ella’s forehead. “Who do you have for your energy alignment class, bestie?”

Ella took a step backwards. “Senhor Arenoso.” The official fun sponge himself.

“Ooh, you lucky kitten. I hear he’s the best.”

Ella snorted. Lucky wasn’t a word she would choose to describe herself. Instead, she had to be on her best behaviour. She couldn’t exactly skip the sessions to practise her candid photo shots. The last thing she needed was the course leader on her back too.

“Are you going on the hike to the ruins this afternoon?” Pauline asked, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I hear they’re stunning, and you get the best view of the whole island from up there. But we can only go when the tide is out.”

“No, thanks. I think I’ll pass.” All of Ella’s earlier lightness was already seeping away. That was the trouble with this sort of thing; it never lasted. The bubble always burst. “I’m gonna hang around the docks, see if I can bribe someone to fetch me alcohol from somewhere.”

Pauline laughed uncertainly, unsure if Ella was joking. Ella wasn’t sure either. But it sure beat an afternoon drowning in the sea.

“Do you want to walk to breakfast together?” Pauline asked.

Sensing there was no use in resisting their budding friendship, Ella accepted. She rolled up her yoga mat, tucking it into one of the cubbies at the side of the reception building, before making her way to the front. Pauline trotted behind her.

Riley looked up as they approached and gave them a small smile. “Hi. How did you find your first class?”

Ella searched her gaze for any flicker of playfulness, but Riley’s stance exuded formality. “It was…fine, thanks.”

“I loved it!” Pauline squealed next to her, the sound echoing through the courtyard.

“I’m glad you enjoyed our first session, Pauline. I look forward to seeing you both tomorrow.”

And that was that.

After breakfast, Ella and Pauline went their separate ways for their first energy alignment sessions. With a happy bellyful of fresh fruit and pastries, Ella took the stone steps down to Senhor Arenoso’s hut. Grass coated the clifftops, small yellow flowers sprouting from the cracks. The humid summer air carried the fresh blend of earth, salt, and pollen, and she inhaled deeply as she passed some derelict cabins with crumbling roofs, wondering what was inside. Compared to the rest of Sandy Springs, they were an eyesore. She’d have to have a peek inside another time.

She descended the steps further, carefully stepping over a colony of ants as they carried what looked like flakes of pastry across the path, and then another hut came into view before her. Nestled in the edge of the cliff, its huge round window looked out across the ocean, and moss and wildflowers sprouted from the roof and clay walls. The wooden bifold doors hung open, a gentle breeze tousling Senhor Arenoso’s shoulder-length dark hair as he sat cross-legged in the centre of the room.

Ella approached him quietly, unsure whether to alert him to her presence or not. Was it against conduct to disturb someone meditating? Were they like sleepwalkers, and waking him could result in a startled fight and end with her broken body at the bottom of the cliffs?

She waited outside the doors for a moment, admiring his rich copper skin and thick, black moustache. He was dressed in a simple red kaftan embroidered with gold markings, very casual compared to his decadent dress for the introductions yesterday.

Just when Ella was about to leave, he blew out a loud breath and turned to face her.

“Ella. Bem-vinda . Welcome. Please take a seat.”

She stepped inside, the strong aroma of incense tickling her nose. Dark wooden slats coated the interior, with colourful artwork adorning the walls. A tall bookcase lined the back, with leafy plants hanging from the ceilings in cream macramé baskets. Ella glanced at the long table centred in the middle of the room and opted to sit in a rickety-looking chair in the corner.

“ Interessante ,” Senhor Arenoso commented in his thick accent, tilting his chin towards her. “Why did you choose to sit there?”

“Erm…” Ella scanned the room, noticing several comfier chairs behind the table that she’d missed. “Sorry. I, uh, didn’t think it mattered.”

“Everything matters. Even the teeniest, tiniest of things.” He stood, the breeze wafting his kaftan as he crossed to the other side of the room. I hope he’s wearing underwear under there. “Can I offer you a drink? Water? Tea, perhaps?”

“Tea sounds great, thank you.” Ella swallowed, picking at the skin of her thumb. Was that a trick question too?

“What flavour would you like?”

He opened a creaky cupboard, revealing far too many variations of tea. Ella just wanted Yorkshire Tea from back home. That many flavours is just ridiculous. “I’m happy with any,” she lied.

No doubt I failed that secret test too.

“Very well.” He plucked two bags from his collection, flipped on the kettle, and spun to face her. “Ella, just by looking at you, I can tell you’re deeply troubled.”

Her mouth dropped open before she could mask it. Talk about brutal honesty. His directness almost made her miss her mother’s not-so-subtle ‘your brother is the best’ digs.

“Most people are troubled,” he continued. “Modern-day living takes a toll on our minds and bodies, trapping us in a vicious cycle of disrepair. But being alive is a gift. The greatest gift of all. We can’t treat ourselves like we’re expendable. There is and only will be one of you, Ella Cargill. Ever.”

Her skin pricked at the mention of her full name. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“Being at Sandy Springs, you’ll become more sensitive to the sensations happening in your body. The energies around you, and how everything on Earth is connected. We’re part of one whole—we’re the earth, and the earth is us.” The kettle hissed, and Senhor Arenoso filled the cups with boiling water, handing her a mug with a cockerel on it. “Our energies are the difference between living a stressed life and a contented one. And do you know who holds the key to unlocking these secrets?”

“Erm…you?”

He beamed, his teeth blindingly white against his sun-kissed skin. “You, Ella. You hold the keys to your own life.”

That explains all the fuck-ups, then.

He sipped at his tea, even though steam billowed from his mug. “I sense your resistance. You’re not the first person to step onto this island with scepticism, you know. But I assure you, if you surrender to the process, your life will never be the same again.”

Surrender to the process? What is this place, a cult?

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, looking out across the ocean. Ella followed his gaze, watching the waves lift up and kiss the rocks where she and Riley had been yesterday.

Heat prickled her neck remembering their encounter, and she sipped at her tea for distraction. The water scalded her tongue, and she hissed. Then the taste registered, and a mix of conflicting spices assaulted her senses. She scrunched her nose. What in Satan’s mistress is this poison?

Oh, god. Is it some sort of hallucinogenic to unlock my inner and deepest thoughts?

Ella didn’t want that. She’d spent the entirety of her adult life trying to do the opposite of unlocking her thoughts. Life got depressing far too fast when she realised how far away she was from achieving her dreams—or from admitting that her dreams up and left her the moment her ex-girlfriend did.

Senhor Arenoso handed her a glass of water, and she gulped it readily. “Thank you.”

His dark eyes studied her for a moment, and she shifted in her seat. “What your time here aims to do is give you the tools to help build your life the way you want. Everything is intertwined, Ella. Every creature and every element is a thread of pure connection, harnessing energy and contributing to the earth’s heartbeat. You are part of a complex energy system. Amid the grind of daily life, people forget that, and their chakras become blocked, disrupting their emotions and keeping them trapped.”

Nerves gathered in Ella’s belly, tightening at the thought of what unblocking her chakras might entail. She imagined it wouldn’t be a quick-fix over-the-counter laxative.

“Ultimately, what you get out of this is up to you,” he continued, caressing a plant leaf between his finger and thumb. “You have your own free will. The staff here, along with the spirits, cannot fix your problems for you, but they can help guide you as you form your path. The question is: are you ready to take the first step?” He turned to face her, his regal essence flowing off him in waves.

He’d make a killing as a door-to-door salesman.

“Yes,” Ella said, her response sounding more like a question than a definitive answer.

Senhor Arenoso smiled, though it didn’t quite touch his eyes. “ Está bem . Let’s get to work.”

* * *

When Ella left Senhor Arenoso’s hut, her brain ached like it’d been drummed by a hormonal woodpecker. She couldn’t handle any more talk about energies or chakras. She was up to her eyeballs with hippie chitchat.

She’d be lying if she said that some of the things didn’t resonate. The principle that all things on Earth and beyond were connected did give her a swell of purpose, but he was right, she was resisting. Why, though, she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She just wished things were simpler.

“ Surrender to the process. ”

The only thing Ella wanted to surrender to was a soft, cool bed or alternatively, with the same compelling urge, a strong, beautiful woman. But to her surprise, it wasn’t Maeve’s long legs filling her fantasy. It was the smiley yoga instructor.

What is it about the Portuguese sun that makes me so damn horny all of a sudden?

She padded along the sand in her bare feet, taking note of the green lifeguard flags this time. Causing a scene wasn’t on her agenda today, even if it might mean Riley gave her some attention.

“Is that what your life has come to, Ella?” she chided herself, crunching a broken shell beneath her foot. “Throwing your body to the sea with hopes of getting fondled by the attractive yoga instructor?” She laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it. She wished she could call Winnie and tell her.

The thought caused her lips to shrivel as she imagined also telling her about her plan to win back Maeve. She knew exactly what she’d say: what a terrible idea. Deep down, she knew she was right. Both ploys reeked of such desperation, Ella wondered if her best friend could sense it across the Atlantic. She groaned, wishing she could just call her. It was difficult to know what she should do. Loneliness enveloped her like a blanket.

Most of the group had gone on the hike to see the ruins on the island, which meant they’d be gone for hours, and she had most of the beach to herself. The last thing she needed was Pauline chirping in her ear while she tried to unwind, but as she padded through the sand alone, Ella realised that the woman’s company might not be such a bad thing. She was nice, and that was more than most people.

God. She rolled her eyes at herself. Now I’m missing England’s divorcee of the year, too?

She dipped her toes into the sea, letting out a sigh as the water lapped at her ankles. The large rocks came into view, secluding the beach from the main stretch, and she tilted her head back, catching the birds ferrying between the cliffs. Being in nature settled her, and she continued to paddle, breathing in the salty air.

A particularly round bird darted overhead, and she tracked its path towards the crags, catching sight of someone standing at the top. Riley. Again? You’ve gotta be shitting me. Ella stopped walking. She didn’t want the woman to think she was following her. That would be weird.

But she didn’t want to hide, either. She could be normal. Maybe.

She pressed forwards, splashing the water around her calves. Senhor Arenoso said she needed to form her own path and follow the earth’s energies. No matter what Riley or Maeve are doing. Ella needed to try, and she wouldn’t let any beautiful women get in her way.