Chapter 21
I had flippedthrough eight pages of my book yet hadn”t comprehended a single word.
I think someone died on the page, but I couldn”t even explain why or how.
How could I when Dani was lying next to me?
The only thoughts that came to my mind as Dani slipped beneath the comforter were the exact things a friend shouldn”t have been thinking about. How would her short black silk slip feel beneath my palms? Would it be like water running down her smooth skin as I grabbed her waist and explored her body? How would it feel as I cupped?—
Fuck.
I flipped the page, the parchment coarse against my fingertips and nearly ripping from the book”s seam. I scanned the words, but they were no more than splotches of ink. As if the book were written in the ancient language of the gods, I couldn”t comprehend a single sentence while my attention kept returning to Dani.
Her chest rising.
Her legs sliding beneath the sheets.
The cotton duvet shifting when she turned to her side.
I exhaled. ”Is something wrong?” I asked, my muscles growing taut.
”Why would something be wrong?”
My brow arched as I peered at her from the corner of my eye. The braid she had twisted her hair into was draped over her shoulder, curving over her breast.
”You seem. . .”
She shifted again, and one of the thin straps of the slip slipped down the soft curve of her shoulder.
I swallowed, blinking and forcing my gaze back to her eyes. ”Restless.”
She fixed the strap and swept a hand across her collarbone. A sweet golden hue hummed across her skin in the lantern’s flickering light. ”It”s just warm in here, that”s all.”
Peeling my gaze away from her—a task more difficult than it should have been—I surveyed the windows lining the exterior wall. ”Do you want me to open up another window?”
”No, I got it.”
She moved, and because I was a glutton for punishment, I watched her from the corner of my eye. My book slipped an inch in my hand as she threw off the covers. Her slip had ridden up slightly, revealing more of her toned thighs. She threw her legs over the side of the bed and strolled to the window. Her hips swayed, and with each step, the slip rose.
When she reached the window—a distance that I selfishly wished to be longer—she pushed it open. The breeze that rolled in swept over the loose strands of hair surrounding her face, picking them up and twisting them into the air.
Dani leaned against the window, and my gaze dropped to her backside. As she leaned against the window with her arms on the windowsill, her back arched, and the fabric rose higher.
And for a moment, I let myself admire the woman before me.
As she stood in nothing more than a slip that barely kissed her thighs, her physique was proof of the work she had put in over the years.
She was bewitching.
Months ago, those words would not have entered my mind so easily. I had never looked at Dani that way before, not really, anyway. Not so. . .absentmindedly.
When we were kids, the thought did cross my mind once or twice—especially when I was a hormonal teenager who was easily distracted by any woman who looked at me. I once made the painful mistake of mentioning that Dani was attractive—perhaps not in such respectable terms, but the point was all the same. Instead of taking my comment about her growing curves as a compliment, she had kneed me in the balls.
Rightfully so, of course.
Back then, however, I didn”t even realize what I had said was wrong. As a child and teenager, I struggled to keep my mouth shut. When you have so many thoughts running through your mind, you were bound to blurt out a thing or two by accident and at inappropriate times.
After Dani made me keel over, I tried never to repeat that mistake.
But on the shortest night of the year and in the privacy of my mind, I admired her.
She was lethal with a weapon.
She was powerful in a dress.
She was as beautiful as a freshly forged sword.
She was feminine and strong. Two words that so many men kept separate, as if they were opposites on a spectrum. And yet, Dani was the embodiment of both. Her strength was not diminished because of her femininity, nor vice versa. Instead, like a recipe requiring salt and sugar, they only enhanced one another.
I set my book on the bedside table, not caring to save the page at this point. I was more interested in the story unfolding before me.
Because, as if she was the moon and I was the sea, some magnetic force I could not explain pulled me toward her.
I kept my footsteps soft across the pine floors as if she was a doe in a forest. When I approached, Dani didn”t move. She didn”t even look at me as I leaned against the windowsill beside her.
We stood there in silence. As if were we to speak, whatever magic twisted in the air would disappear. So, instead, we watched the waves tumble over one another out at sea. As a cool gust swept in, the smell of sea salt wrapped around us. Beneath it, though, I could make out the faint notes of cinnamon kissing my cheeks as the breeze brushed past Dani”s hair. A loose curl fell from her braid, and it took everything I had not to brush it behind her ear.
Her brows were drawn tight together, and a deep crease formed in the center of her forehead. I had the urge to wipe the worry away, too, but I kept my hands to myself despite the buzzing spiraling through my veins.
Earlier tonight, I had thought that maybe, just maybe, Dani felt the same about that kiss that I did. I thought I had seen a flash of something slip through her tightly sealed walls, but I couldn”t be sure.
She never used to be so closed off. When we were children, she was an open book. But at some point, things had changed. I didn”t know when. I didn”t know why. All I knew was that as we grew up, her walls grew taller.
I would do anything to tear down those walls now, though.
”What are you thinking about?” I asked.
At first, I wasn”t sure she would answer as the silence deepened. But then she whispered, ”What are we doing?” The question was almost too faint on her lips, and I was unsure I had heard it until her fingers flexed around the windowsill.
That was not the response I had been hoping for. Still, I chuckled, but the once easy sound felt too heavy, too forced. ”Standing here?”
”No, Fynn. What are we doing?”
”I—” The words disappeared on my tongue. I didn”t want to lie to her, but I also couldn”t fabricate a story that wasn”t entangled with the truth. I couldn”t tell some joke or brush off her question with a smug smirk or a wave of my hand because, in truth, I didn”t know what we were doing. I didn”t know what I was doing.
All I knew was that I needed to be by her.
Dani shifted on her feet, her hazel eyes wide as she peered up at me. ”You want to know what I”m thinking?”
There”s nothing I want more, Ferrios, is what I wanted to say, but I only nodded.
Her nails tapped the windowsill. ”I’m trying to figure out why you kissed me.”
I blinked.
”Was it for show?” Dani asked as she turned to face the sea.
I mimicked her as if we would find the answer somewhere in the depths of the water.
I could have blamed the kiss on the alcohol.
I could have blamed it on the need to make everyone else believe we were a real couple.
But I would have been lying if I had said any of those things.
Because, while the buzz of the wine had dissipated long ago, I still wanted to recreate that kiss even if there was no one here to put on a show for.
There was only Dani.
Only my best friend.
And maybe, if I could be honest with myself, I could be frank with Dani, too.
I took in a deep breath. When I exhaled, I let out the truth that I had been harboring inside since that first kiss outside the tavern. ”No, Dani,” I said, shaking my head. ”I kissed you because I wanted to.”
With her gaze fixed on the sea, her hands tightened around the edge of the window, gripping the wood. ”Why?”
This version of Dani was new—the one who doubted herself, the one who didn”t see that I now craved the taste of cinnamon in my tea. And as cute as she was, this wasn”t the Dani I knew.
This wasn”t my Dani.
”Look at me.”
When she refused, I shook my head in amusement. Reaching out, I finally brushed that incessant loose curl behind her ear. My finger trailed down her jaw, light and soft. Curling it beneath her chin, I turned her head toward me. ”You are absolutely vexing.”
Her lips parted, but no words escaped.
”There is no other explanation or reason. I could tell you I kissed you because we were in front of hundreds of people who expected us to. I could tell you I kissed you because we needed to make them believe. I could tell you that I kissed you because it is what two people courting each other do. But if I told you any of these things, they would all be lies. I kissed you because I wanted to. Plain and simple.”
She shook her head as if she still didn”t believe me. ”But you said that some people didn”t believe we were telling the truth.”
A breeze entered through the window, wrapping around us and sending goosebumps crawling across Dani”s bare arm.
”That was a lie.”
”I don”t understand.” Dani took a small step back.
She was preparing to run—I could see it in her eyes. But I wasn”t done talking about this.
I took a step forward, matching her. ”Would you believe me if I said I wanted to kiss you right now?”
”Why would you—” Her head tilted to the side as she sucked on her bottom lip. Dani shook her head, releasing her lip, which was now plump and red. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet. ”There”s no one here.”
”Does there have to be?” I asked.
”I—” Her gaze dropped to my lips. There may have been fear in her eyes, but there was also desire.
And desire looked good on Dani.
”Do you mean to tell me you”re not replaying that kiss in your head right now?” I leaned closer, my lips brushing lightly across her ear. Her chest rose as she inhaled sharply, and a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. ”Do you mean to tell me you”re not thinking about my hands on your back? My hand gripping your thigh? That you”re not at all curious about what would have happened if I didn”t stop kissing you?” I leaned back and tipped her chin up, my fingers coarse against her soft skin. ”Because I am.”
Her cheeks reddened, and her fingers curled around the hem of her slip, bunching the silk fabric in her palms. ”What about rule number three?” she mumbled.
”I”ve never been a big fan of rules,” I said, my thumb brushing across her chin, ”especially rule number three.”
She swallowed, her throat dipping. Her eyes flicked to my lips again as I licked them.
”Dani, tell me the truth,” I said, noting every freckle on her face and every twitch of muscle. ”We don”t have to do anything you don”t want to. If you tell me no right now, I will walk away. I will sleep in Terin”s room and throw Riley out of his room. I will take his wrath if that”s what?—”
Dani cut my words off, pressing her lips against mine.
Her hand gripped the back of my neck as she pulled my head down with a fervor I wanted to drink up and never run out of. I wrapped my hand around her waist, pulling her tighter to me.
I smiled against her soft lips. I was right. The silk was just as smooth as the sea, leaving little to the imagination.
She peeled herself away from me, her chest rising hard and fast, but her fingers were still woven into my hair, locking me into place.
”This is a mistake,” she said, her lip swollen.
We had crossed the line.
I knew it.
She knew it.
But with Dani, I was beginning to realize that I wanted to cross all the lines.
I wanted to throw the godsforsaken rule book out the window.
For at least one night.
We could blame it on the summer solstice, the stars, the sun, the pull of the moon. I didn”t care. All I wanted was her lips on mine, her body atop mine.
”Then let”s make the greatest mistake we can, Ferrios.”
A smile split her face,and without hesitating any longer, I picked her up. Her thighs wrapped around me tightly as I gripped her thighs and pressed her back against the wall.
Then, I devoured her.
I pressed my lips to her neck, nibbled the spot beneath her ear, and explored her body. When Dani wiggled against me, her gasp coming out more of a moan, I knew I had found the spot that would not only be her undoing but mine as well.
”The bed, Fynn,” she said through heavy breaths.
”Is that an order, Ferrios?”
”Yes, now move,” she growled as she gripped my head between her palms and kissed me.
A logical part of me told me not to listen, but who was I to deny Dani”s command? So, when my legs hit the bed, I plopped her down. She unwrapped her legs, and I threw caution out the window. Because when she looked up at me with fire sparkling in her irises and a devilish smirk slipping over her face, I couldn”t move away.
And the worst part?
I didn”t want to move. I was lost in her, completely and utterly.
She leaned to the side, and my length strained against the fabric of my trousers as she shifted. With a quick breath, she blew out the lantern. All that was left to light the room was the soft glow of the moon sweeping into the room. Shadows swept over her body, and I marveled at the glow of the moon hugging her skin. I had seen her in dresses that clung to her body, that dripped down her skin, but I had never allowed myself to observe Dani for long.
Looking was dangerous. Admiring a woman”s body often led to other things, and there had always been a clear line between Dani and me.
But right now, all I could do was look.
And I reveled in the sight before me.
Her curves begged to be touched. The arch of her back had my body reacting in ways I knew it shouldn”t. How she propped herself on her arms, her braid falling over her shoulder. How that pesky little strap hung off her shoulders yet again.
I had known Dani was a master at wielding many weapons: the bow, the sword, the dagger. But I had never imagined that she was a master of her own body as well—not in this way, not with such expertise that I would crawl on my knees for her.
”Are you going to do something or just stare?”
I dragged my gaze down her body. ”Simply taking my time, Ferrios. Tonight won”t last forever.”
She stared back with a challenge sparkling in her moonlit eyes. ”Tonight”s only just begun, Nadarean.”
She grabbed me by the neck, but as she pulled me down toward her, she froze. ”Whatever happens tonight will not change anything come morning. Deal?”
I swallowed. I wasn”t so sure about that because this moment felt like it might change everything.
Yet I nodded. ”Deal.” I hovered over her, only inches away from her face. My lips brushed the side of her cheek. ”But Dani?”
”Yes?”
I dragged a finger down the side of her neck, over her collarbone, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. When I reached the top hem of the slip, I ran my finger atop the thin frill of lace and over the swell of her breasts. ”Most don”t forget having slept with me.”
”Most, huh?”
I nodded, her face brushing against the scruff along my jawline, sending a shiver down my spine.
”There”s always a first,” she whispered, her voice husky.
”We”ll see about that, Ferrios.” I chuckled, turning to kiss the spot below her ear.
Friends, I reminded myself.
But would a friend be snaking his hand up his best friend”s collarbone? Wrapping it around her throat before finding his way to the back of her neck and tugging her closer to pull a gasp from those sinful lips?
Would a friend be thinking of how those lips would feel wrapped around his throbbing cock?
No, a friend would not.
But I was, and I wasn”t sure what that made us.
However, I didn”t think I cared what label we placed on this.
Friends.
Acquaintances.
Lovers.
I did not care as she slipped a hand beneath the band of my trousers and fisted my length. She pumped me, her hand firm but soft, twisting around me. My teeth ground together as my arousal grew even harder.
I was already wound up watching her walk across the room in her slip, hearing her laugh, and seeing her swollen lips.
Usually, I was in control.
Normally, I was reading the woman”s thoughts.
But right now, even when I tried to reach out to Dani”s mind, her walls were up and tightly shut.
If she didn”t stop soon, the night would end sooner than I wanted, and I was not done with her. It might have been the shortest night of the year, but this was only the beginning.
I would show Dani why she would never be able to forget tonight.
I grabbed her wrist, halting her, and growled, ”My turn.”