The Heir's Bargain (Of Fire and Lies)

Chapter 30

The moment I saw Fynn,I should have told him I had been chosen for the mission. But I couldn”t. The words became lead in my mouth and concrete in my stomach.

This mission was too critical.

After my father had announced who was chosen for it, he finally told us what we had trained so hard for over the past few weeks.

The Royal Seer had another vision. Soon, bloodshed and death would mark Pontian soil. The previous attack was only a precursor, a prequel for the story to come. For years, our kingdom had not retaliated. With the peace treaty from the Great War still in place, retaliating would put our kingdom at risk. So, for fifteen years, we had waited.

And waited.

But now it was time to start acting.

Details of Fynn”s sister were carefully guarded. Few spoke of her, and even fewer knew the details of her capture. According to the queen, her daughter was safe and alive. While this wasn”t a rescue mission—not yet anyway—my father had said it would help retrieve the lost princess.

I was five when the princess was taken. Although my memories of her were sparse and quickly fading, I knew how much she meant to Fynn despite the years that had passed.

And perhaps that was why I didn”t confide in him when I saw him. I knew how much this mission would mean to him if he knew the truth.

Hope, while one of the most powerful tools, was also the most dangerous.

I had no idea, however, that he was the one who had set this mission into motion.

I thought I was protecting him, but I was wrong. So incredibly wrong.

”Menides and Sorinia, dinner was delicious. Thank you. However, I must be going.” Wood scraped against the floor as Fynn pushed his chair away.

Everyone around the table stood. I was the last one to do so, my legs numb and stiff.

”It was a pleasure having you, Your Highness,” my mother said, offering him a small curtsy, her gaze bouncing to me for a moment.

Fynn nodded to the others and turned away, leaving the room without sparing me a glance.

My palms pressed into the wood as everyone else sat down. My heart thumped in my chest as my gaze bounced around the room, as the ghost of Fynn”s handprint on my leg burned a hole through the dress my mother had picked out.

When I turned to my father, he tipped his head toward the doors. ”Go,” he mouthed.

I didn”t hesitate. The stiff fabric of my dress wrapped around the chair, tugging it with me. The legs scraped the floor, and my mother gasped in horror.

”Sorry,” I mumbled, quickly righting the chair before flying out the door. A sea of pink fabric chased me as my heels struck the floor.

When I turned out of the dining room, Fynn was already halfway to the door, his usual swagger long gone and his back rigid. I sped up, my footsteps quick across the freshly polished floors as I chased after him.

”Fynn, wait!” I grabbed his arm, but he shook my hand off and continued for the door. ”Let me explain.”

”There”s nothing to explain, Dani,” he said, his voice even, flat. Cold.

Pain pierced my gut, but I wouldn”t let it stop me from reaching out again. ”Fynn, please.” I reached for his hand, my fingers brushing against it.

Yet he snatched his hand away. Stopping, he spun around so abruptly that I almost smacked into his back, barely catching myself before running into him.

”Fine,” he said.

”I—” My tongue twisted, the words suddenly becoming too heavy to say aloud. I averted my gaze, unable to look Fynn in the eye. I glanced at the hall leading to the dining room, where everyone else still chatted and laughed the night away.

In a matter of minutes, I had ruined everything.

Fynn.

The promotion.

Everything.

He sighed, and the noise was full of all the words unspoken between us. He tugged me into the nearby sitting room and shut the door behind him. The last time I stepped into this room was when my mother had filled it with eager suitors. The room felt so small then, but now it was far too big and the air too stiff. The sun slipped in between the cracks of the curtain, yet despite the golden hue it cast, there was nothing golden about this moment.

Fynn crossed his arms over his chest. ”Let”s talk then. Dani. Were you going to tell me about the mission?”

As Fynn stared at me for a moment, time ticked by at a sluggish pace. I couldn’t rewind time. I couldn’t go back and tell him the truth the moment I saw him. And in seconds that ticked by, a heavy silence grew between us.

Until Fynn cut through it like a knife with three words: ”The truth, Dani.”

My brows quivered. Twisting my fingers together, I said, ”I would have told you if I had known.”

Fynn rubbed his palms over his face. ”That is not the truth, and you know it.”

”Yes, it is,” I hissed, though I didn”t believe the words I spoke aloud. ”I was trying to protect you.”

Fynn scoffed. ”You thought you were protecting me?”

”Yes,” I said, and for the first time since Fynn had found out about the mission, I looked at him—really looked at him. His countenance was painted with pain, his brows drawn together, and his hair ragged from his fingers running through it.

The truth was a burden, and I would not have wanted to burden Fynn with it—not this time, not unless I absolutely needed to. When it came to the Bull King, the less Fynn knew, the better.

At least, that’s what I had thought. A part of me still did.

”The truth, Fynn.” I took a step forward. ”Are you mad at me because I didn”t tell you, or are you mad that I was chosen to go?”

His lips parted, but no words came out.

I had my answer.

”What is the difference if it was me or someone else, Fynn?”

”Because, Dani!” Fynn dug his fingers into his hair. ”That—that man has taken too much from me already. I cannot—” Fynn groaned, and the charming prince with smooth, sweet words disappeared before me.

Fynn was scared, and he was finally showing it.

While I could understand his fear, I would not let his fear deter me.

”I am not your sister, Fynn. I am not being taken against my will. We are not even going to Ardentol.”

”It doesn”t matter if you are going to the castle or not! Pontia was supposed to be the safest kingdom in Vaneria, yet we were still attacked! My sister was taken from us all because we weren”t quick enough or strong enough. How am I supposed to protect you from him if he somehow discovers that a group of Pontians have been sent south?” He shook his head, stumbling over his words. ”This isn”t—you can”t?—”

And it was the sound of those two words that washed away any conflict in my mind. I no longer cared if I hurt his feelings. I was a warrior, and Fynn would do well to remember that.

”You may be the Crown Prince, but you do not tell me what I can or cannot do, Fynneares.” I took a step forward. My heart beat faster and faster, but my voice was ice-cold and steady. ”This is the job. My orders have already been given, and they come directly from the commander and the queen. At the end of the day, our lives—my life means nothing when it comes to protecting Pontia. When I joined, I made a vow to protect this kingdom at whatever cost.”

”A vow?” Fynn”s jaw popped as he clenched his teeth. His hands fell from his hair, the blood rushing from his face. ”What is a vow compared to your life, Dani?”

When I spoke, my voice was steadfast, unwavering. ”It is everything.”

Once again, his mouth fell open, yet he didn’t utter a word.

But I was done waiting for other people to make their judgments about my choices.

I pushed my shoulders back. ”I am not a queen, Fynn.”

His face twisted with confusion, deep wrinkles creasing his forehead. ”How does that—that doesn”t?—”

I shook my head, lifting a hand and silencing him. ”I am neither a queen nor a princess. I am a soldier. I love this kingdom. I love my family and friends. It is my home, and I will do anything and everything I can to protect it.”

”You are more important than a mission, Dani.” Fynn took a step forward. Only a foot or two separated us, yet it felt like a mile stretched between us.

He reached out a hand as if he wished to console me, but I did not wish to be consoled. I didn”t need to be consoled.

My lip curled. ”You don”t get it. You”re not a soldier.”

His hand, having dropped to his side, rolled into a ball, his knuckles blanching. ”But I am a servant to this kingdom. I know about sacrificing your life—your dreams, your wants—for the kingdom.”

I scoffed. He still didn”t get it, but I was beginning to think he never would.

”It”s not the same thing, Fynn. You”re the Crown Prince. When Queen Esmeray steps down, you will take her place. You”ll sit on your throne giving orders. But who fulfills those orders? Who has to protect the kingdom while you sit in the safety of your castle walls?”

He jerked back. There was no sign of the smug prince, no smirk twitching at his lips, no dimple appearing at the corner of his mouth. The man before me was almost unrecognizable as he pointed a finger at me.

”You didn”t have to join the military, Dani. That was your choice,” he said.

I tipped my chin up. ”And I will gladly make that choice over and over again because it is what I am meant to do. You might have been born to rule, Fynn, but I was born to fight.”

He pointed in the direction of the castle, the tip of his ears turning red. ”Do you think I want to sit in that castle all day in meetings?” He gripped his shirt, his fingers wrinkling the expensive fabric. ”Do you think I would not rather be fighting for my kingdom—actually doing something worthwhile rather than planning frivolous balls?” As the words spilled from his mouth, something akin to anger flooded his face, tinting it pink.

No, it was not anger. It was hurt.

But I was hurting, too. ”That”s not how this works, Fynn.”

”You may think this is only a reconnaissance mission, but that man is always one step ahead of us! There is a reason that my mother has not made a move against him yet. It is dangerous.”

”The life of a soldier is dangerous, Fynn.”

”But it doesn”t have to be! You can—you could—” He swallowed the rest of his words and spun around, giving me his back.

I didn”t know what I wanted him to say, but him saying nothing was almost worse. Because in the silence that filled the space between us, everything my mother and Rosalina had said within the past week spun in my mind.

If you put anyone in an elegant dress, they are bound to catch someone”s eye.

You are a soldier. You were never meant to be a queen.

Whatever you and Fynneares have will pass. It always does with him.

I do not wish for your heart to be broken, Danisinia.

I might not have expected to be Fynn’s queen, but knowing that he couldn”t even say the words was more painful than it should have been.

I brushed my hair back and steadied myself. ”You have known from the beginning that this is who I am.”

He shook his head but didn”t say anything. He didn”t even turn around.

”This kingdom,” I said, pointing in the general direction of the castle, ”has been handed to you. While I know you love your kingdom, no matter what you do, you will become king. But that”s not how it works for everyone else. We aren”t all handed our parents” titles. Because my father is the commander, it doesn”t make things easier for me. I”ve had to work ten times as hard to rise in the ranks and earn the respect of my counterparts. I have had to face constant ridicule because my father is the commander. And now? I practically have to ignore his mere existence when we are in uniform.”

Fynn scoffed. ”I never asked to be king. If Terin had been born first, if he had been given my ability. . .” Sighing, he cracked his knuckles before shoving them into his pockets. He rolled his shoulders back, shaking his head. ”I can”t change who I am. But you”re right. It doesn”t matter what I do. All that matters is that I marry a respectable woman who will bear the kingdom an heir. I”m a glorified figure-head. The advisors. . .they”ll be the ones who get the final say in the policies. It doesn”t matter what I think.”

Fynn turned around and grabbed my shoulders, squeezing them gently. When he looked at me, his eyes pierced my soul. As he exhaled, his shoulders sank. He took a step closer and pressed his forehead against mine. His breath was warm against my face, a light whisper against my cheek. ”But you? When you are promoted to general, it will be because you have earned it, Ferrios.”

My mouth was sealed shut. There were a million things I could have said and a million things I should have said. With Fynn, though, I never had to say anything. He always knew. Before, it had always been a blessing, but now? Now, it was nothing more than a curse.

He released a small sigh. A tight, knowing smile pushed at the corners of his lips, but the smile didn”t reach his eyes. Placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, he said, ”I understand, Dani. It was never going to be me. You”re my end, but I am only your beginning.”

Before I could say anything, he turned, and all I could do was watch him walk away.

His fingers wrapped around the doorknob, and for a second, I thought he would turn around. I thought he would hesitate, but he didn”t. He twisted the doorknob, saying, ”Promise me you will come home safe.”

Then, he yanked the door open without waiting for the promise he knew I couldn”t give him.

Only fools promised their own safety.

It didn”t matter if I wanted to grab his arm and force him to stay. My feet were frozen in place, as if bricks had been tied to the bottom of the sharp heels, preventing me from moving forward. I had been under Moris” paralysis many times, but this was so much worse.

This was why my mother had been worried. She knew this would happen—that I would be forced to choose between my duty to my kingdom and my best friend.

Maybe Fynn was right not to hesitate then.

Our paths were not supposed to be aligned, not in this world and maybe not even in the next.

Our courtship was doomed from the very beginning.

Yet, when the front door slammed shut, knowing its cursed fate didn”t prevent the sound from shattering a piece of my soul. It ricocheted against the walls of my ribcage, within the confinements of my body that felt too constricting, the air too close.

And there was no way the guests in the dining room had not heard the bang down the hall.

It didn”t matter if I went on this mission or not. I would not be getting the promotion. Not when the actual test had been whether I had ties holding me down.

I wasn”t even someone who could hold on to their ties.

And yet, that wasn”t why my body collapsed the moment I could no longer see Fynn”s silhouette.

It wasn”t the reason why my knees hit the ground.

It wasn”t why it felt like a piece of me had ripped from my body.

I couldn”t give a damn about the promotion at that moment.Not when I might have just lost my best friend.

And all because I had made a bargain with a prince.