The Heir's Bargain (Of Fire and Lies)

Chapter 38

My cards slippedthrough my hands.

Someone said something—my name?

I couldn”t focus on the question, though. Wrinkles creased my forehead as the thoughts of those around me became jumbled in my mind. The thoughts were a torrent, a sea of words mixing as if whomever they belonged to was panicking, barely even able to keep a grip on their own mind.

Failed mission.

Attack in the mountains.

Hurt.

Hurt.

Hurt.

”No,” I whispered as my fingers curled around the edge of the table. ”No.”

”Fynn, what”s wrong?” someone asked. My brother? Lukas? I didn’t know, nor could I tell.

I couldn’t form any words as the thoughts of those racing down the hall came spiraling down the invisible threads.

A spout of nausea rose in my stomach, the alcohol turning, tumbling, twisting.

This couldn”t have been happening.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

My chair crashed behind me a second before the doors flew open. Because in the jumble of thoughts, one thought—one name—was as clear as the sky.

Dani.

Before my brother and our friends had time to process what was happening, I was up and rushing to the doors as they were thrust open.

My ears rang, anger coursing through me. Thoughts tumbled over one another like waves pounding onto the shore, crashing into each other.

Lance, sweaty and breathless, was the first to enter. He opened his mouth, but he didn”t get the chance to speak.

I slammed him against the wall, the collar of his uniform twisting inside my palm. ”Where is she?”

Lance”s pale blue eyes widened. ”Your Highness, I?—”

I slammed his body against the wall again. The pictures hanging rattled as someone in the room gasped. Fear-filled thoughts filtered into my mind. I tried to block out the extraneous ones—the useless ones, the scared ones—but I struggled to sift through them, to cut their lines.

All my attention was on Dani—on finding the thoughts connecting to her.

I needed answers.

I needed them now.

”Where is my?—”

A light hand fell on my shoulder, cutting me off.

Fynneares, Terin said down the mental connection, but I cut the connection off before he could say any more. I didn”t need his soft words or melodic voice sweeping in and calming the hot fury that buzzed beneath my skin.

It didn”t matter if Dani and I were together or not. I had lost too many people I cared about because of the Bullheaded King. I would not lose her, too.

My jaw cracked as I tightened my grip around Lance”s shirt. ”Tell me where she is,” I commanded.

The color drained from Lance’s already pale face. ”Your Highness, she—she”s at home,” he stammered.

My knuckles cracked. ”Home? Has she seen a healer?”

Lance nodded frantically. ”Yes, but?—”

”Is she okay?” I shouted, shaking him.

I tried to focus on his mind. I tried to isolate the thoughts filling my own, but I couldn”t distinguish between the various voices filling my mind. I couldn”t decipher the nonsense that piled atop each other as people moved around me.

My nails dug into Lance’s uniform as I lifted him against the wall, his toes barely grazing the floor.

”Tell me!”

Lance nodded, his fingers scratching against the wall. ”She is, but she—she”s been unconscious. The healers said?—”

”How long?” I growled, my head pounding.

Lance”s brows drew together. ”Your Highness?”

”How long has she been unconscious?” I spat, slamming him into the wall.

”A few weeks, Your Highness,” Lance croaked out.

”Weeks?” I tugged him toward me, his eyes widening when he was only inches from my face. ”When did she arrive?”

”A few hours ago.”

”And I am only told of this now?”

Lance”s mouth parted, his gaze bouncing to the others standing behind me as he stumbled over his words, ”The commander said?—”

”The commander?” A mangled laugh escaped my lips. It was a sound that did not belong to the calm, cocky prince. However, I no longer cared about etiquette or pleasantries or reputations. All I cared about was my best friend. ”I am the heir.”

”No—no one wanted to bother you.”

I took a step forward. ”Bother me? I am her—” I choked on my words.

Her what?I asked myself.

I wasn”t her suitor anymore. Not even a fake one.

She was still my best friend; I was sure of that. Yet that title didn’t come close to encompassing everything I felt for her at that moment and for the past couple of months.

”Jorian!” I shouted.

”Yes, Your Highness?” Jorian responded.

”Take me to her,” I ordered.

”Fynneares.”

My body went rigid at my mother”s voice. I peeled my fingers from the coarse fabric of Lance”s uniform—an act that took far more effort than I cared to admit.

When I turned around, my mouth fell open, but I couldn”t speak. The anger pumping through me clouded my vision and thickened my tongue.

My mother took a step forward. ”We need to talk.”

The fury,while contained, had not subsided. It vibrated against my bones as the carriage jolted us around. Across from me, my mother sat with her hands folded in her lap, her gaze unwavering as she stared at me with an unspoken question on her lips.

”Mother, whatever it is, I”m sure it can wait. Dani is?—”

She lifted a brow. ”Danisinia will be fine, son.”

”How can you say that? She”s unconscious!” My voice echoed within the small space, and the horses pulling the carriage neighed as the words poured outside.

”The Royal Seer has said so,” she said, her voice calm.

I scoffed, throwing my hands up before digging them into my hair. ”Because Yelsania”s visions have been so accurate as of late.”

”We have an hour ride ahead of us until we arrive at the Ferrios manor. I believe we have the time to chat. But by all means, if you wish to walk there instead of talk to me, feel free to leave.” She pointed at the door. ”Best to roll, yes? I am sure the guards would love to see you make an even bigger fool of yourself than you already have the past few weeks drinking your way across Pontia.”

I tossed my head back and sank into the cushion.

”I thought as much.” She shifted in her seat. ”Now, I believe there is something you have been keeping from me.”

I sat up. ”What could I possibly be keeping from you, Mother? It seems you already know everything there is to know.”

She sighed. ”You have kept the truth about you and Danisinia a secret for far too long, have you not?”

”Dani and I?”

Her brow flicked up, but my mother said nothing else. She stared at me as if her mere gaze could pull the memories from my mind.

I squirmed in my seat.

She couldn”t do that. She had to be in contact with her victims to steal their memories.

At least, that”s what she had always told us.

My gaze narrowed. Unless. . .

”You lied to me. You do not need to touch someone to pull their memories from them.”

My mother rolled her eyes, an act I had never seen her do. ”First, I am not the only one who has lied. Second, do not act so shocked. I am your mother, and some things are best kept secret.” Her fingers brushed the ring hanging from her necklace. ”Contact does help strengthen the memory”s potency and allows me to share the memory with another. Long ago, it was the only way I could discover another”s memory. But when a connection between soul bonds is realized and unified, our gifts shift and intensify—some in ways we can”t even fathom. My soul bond might be gone, but the gift your father gave me all those years ago is not.”

Outside, the wheels of the carriage creaked.

I rubbed the back of my neck, a thin layer of sweat forming on my skin. My hand fell to my lap, and my shoulders sagged. Sighing, I asked, ”When did you find out?”

My mother reached out, placing a hand atop my knee. ”Fynneares, I”ve known since the beginning.”

”Then why didn”t you say anything?”

She offered me a sad smile, but I wish she hadn”t because there was more emotion within it than I cared to acknowledge.

”It wasn”t my truth to tell,” she said.

”Are you mad?”

She removed her hand from my knee and folded her hands in her lap, confusion pulling her brows together. ”Why would I be mad, son?”

I wiped my hands across my trousers. ”Because we have been lying to you for months. Because we tried to trick you into believing something that wasn”t real.”

When my gaze met my mother”s, I was shocked at what I saw. The confusion had disappeared and had since morphed into amusement. Her mouth tipped up, and a quiet laugh rolled off her tongue.

”Why is that funny?” I asked. ”We were pretending to court each other. Why aren”t you mad? You told me I needed to find a wife, yet I lied about my courtship with Dani.”

”Oh, you foolish, foolish child,” she said, shaking her head. ”I do not care about your pretend courtship.”

”You don”t?”

”Of course not.” She tilted her head to the side. ”It was real in the end, was it not?”

My gaze dropped to my lap, where I wrung my hands together.

”It does not matter how it began, Fynneares. Neither the status of your courtship nor whether it was pretend or not is the reason I wish to speak to you about Danisinia.”

I looked up at her, brows drawn together. ”Then what is it?”

My mother sighed, rubbing her temples with two fingers. ”Do not tell me that you still do not know?”

”Know what?”

Her hand fell. ”Let me ask you this instead: why has your knee been bouncing ever since we entered the carriage? Why are your hands clammy?”

”I—” My tongue grew heavy, and I looked down. Sure enough, my leg was bouncing up and down. I stilled it. Suddenly self-conscious, I also wiped my palms on my trousers for good measure. Clearing my throat, I said, ”Dani is my best friend, and she”s hurt. Of course, I”m going to be worried about her.”

My mother shook her head. ”Oh, Fynneares.”

”What?”

”You still don”t see it, do you?”

”See what?”

My mother held out her hand.

I stared at her open palm. She was not simply asking me to hold it to help calm my nerves; instead, she was asking to show me something—something I wasn’t sure I was willing to see yet, something I wasn”t sure I deserved to see.

My mother tipped her head toward her hand. ”Your hand, please.”

I sighed and gripped the edge of the cushion for extra stability before I reached out.

On contact, the world spun.

Round.

And round.

And round.

Until the world went black.

I wavered,my body simultaneously feeling weightless and heavy.

Peeling my eyes open, the scene before me slowly came into focus. When the world stopped spinning, the colors slowly separated as the memory unfolded before me.

I recognized the back of Lance”s short blond hair immediately. His steps were rushed and haphazard as he raced down the hall in the Wilton manor beside Airos.

The captain glanced back, his graying brows twisting together.

A delicate hand rose in front of my face, and I recognized it as belonging to my mother.

Airos nodded.

Before Lance pushed the door open, a crash sounded on the other side. When Lance and Airos moved, my gaze locked onto the man rushing forward, frazzled and red-faced.

The man was nearly unrecognizable, yet all the same, he was me.

I had never seen myself appear so. . .distraught. So scared.

Others in the room stood, but I couldn”t pull my attention away from this version of myself as I slammed Lance against the wall, rage clouding my countenance.

”Where is she?”

Through the small space between Lance and myself, I could see my guard”s gaze widen as he stumbled, saying, ”Your Highness?—”

The pictures rattled on the wall as I slammed his body against it. My knuckles blanched as I gripped Lance”s shirt. ”Where is my?—”

My mother moved forward. She lifted a hand and placed it on my shoulder.

I faintly recalled having believed Terin had reached out as his thoughts tried to break through the rage. But in fact, it was my mother’s delicate hand falling upon my shoulder and squeezing.

When her hand fell, the floor dropped beneath me, and the room spun. Flashes of red and black and purple twisted around, melting away the scene and distorting my vision once again.

My breathing was laboredas I came to.

I wished I could have blamed my mother”s gift, but I couldn”t. It wasn”t the world spinning around me as she ripped the memory away from me and as the ground shattered beneath my feet.

No, the rapid patter of my heart was not a result of the nauseating effects of her gift.

Not at all.

”You see now. Don”t you, Fynneares?” she asked, her voice quiet and careful, as if I was made of glass and would shatter if she spoke too loudly.

My throat seized up as my heart thundered against my ribcage.

For years, I had been looking for that missing piece, waiting for it to fall into place.

I had thought it would feel like floating on a cloud, like the wind on the breeze. Blissful and peaceful.

But what I felt—what I had been feeling since Dani and I had started courting each other—wasn”t blissful.

It wasn”t sunshine and rainbows or as sweet as strawberries.

Instead, it was earth-shattering.

It was the ground being torn apart.

It was the pressure building inside a volcano.

It was destructive.

Uncontrollable and unpredictable.

I looked up at my mother, and finally, I understood.

I finally understood the chaotic feelings that had been consuming me, the adrenaline that coursed through my veins, and the way everything went silent when I was around Dani—and only Dani.

I had almost voiced the truth when yelling at Lance, but the word had gotten stuck in my throat as if my conscience had pulled it back. As if it knew I wasn”t ready.

I didn”t know if I was ready now either; however, I didn”t think I had the choice to deny the inevitable.

Dani was more than my best friend.

She was my everything.

The missing piece I had been searching for, waiting for, hoping for.

My soul bond.

And the only thing I could think about at that moment was that I might have realized it too late.