The Heir's Bargain (Of Fire and Lies)

Chapter 40

The doorto my room flew open.

Helena jumped, screeching in shock, causing me to jolt. I grimaced in pain as the muscles in my body tensed.

”What—” I swallowed my words as I met the intruder”s gaze.

Fynn stumbled back, hitting the doorframe. His brown eyes were wild, and the skin beneath them was a deep purple, as if he hadn”t slept for days. He gripped the doorknob, his knuckles blanching as he stared, pale-faced.

”You”re—you”re awake,” he said at last. His throat dipped. ”When—when did you wake?”

As he scanned me, I shifted, pulling the blanket up. ”I woke up this morning.”

Standing beside the bed, Helena fell into a curtsy, mumbling, ”Your Highness, Miss Ferrios needs rest. You should come back?—”

”I”m fine, Helena,” I interrupted, my voice steadier this time.

My hand slid across my torso, where a wrapping covered the wound. I had been in and out of sleep for the past several hours. The last thing I remembered was falling. The healers this morning said I had not suffered any permanent damage, but a scar would indeed remain despite the best healers having been assigned to me. Theenah, the head of medicine, personally overseeing my care.

By the request of the Crown Prince.

My throat dipped.

I shifted, trying to sit up. Pain spiked through my torso at the movement, and I fell back onto the bed.

Fynn was in front of me in seconds, his knees smacking into the ground. His hands hovered over me, not quite touching me, as if he were unsure if he could.

I didn”t know what was worse: that he no longer felt like he could touch me or that I still wanted him to.

”You were saying, Miss Ferrios?” Helena retorted.

I rolled my eyes.

”I’ll go fetch Theenah,” Fynn said, standing. ”She can?—”

”No,” I said before he could finish. ”I have already seen Theenah and several other healers. I am fine. I am only sore.” I tried to move back, but another bout of pain soared through my bones.

Fynn”s attention flicked to my ribcage.

The blanket had slipped when I moved, revealing the wrapping. The healers had said the soreness would only last a couple of days. Even Theenah couldn”t get rid of all the pain; apparently, there were still limits to the healer’s gifts.

Helena leaned forward, hesitant. ”Miss Ferrios has only woken up a few hours ago, Your Highness. She needs rest.”

”Helena, please.” I squeezed my eyes shut.

When I woke up, my mother was knitting at the side of my bed. The moment my eyelashes fluttered across my cheek, she shouted for Helena and the healers. Since then, Helena had barely left my side, and her constant worrying quickly became an annoyance. While the housekeeper might have meant well, her buzzing nerves were doing nothing to help me rest.

”Very well,” Helena said before curtsying to Fynn. ”Your Highness, please send word if anything?—”

”Helena,” I grumbled, pressing my head further into my pillow.

Helena hummed dismissively. But as her footsteps exited, I heard Fynn whisper to her, ”I will.”

When the door shut, Fynn said, quiet and low, ”I”m sorry I wasn”t here when you awoke.”

”I didn”t expect you to be. You have your own duties to attend to,” I said, but the words were dust on my tongue. While it wasn”t a lie, it was hard to say it aloud.

”That”s not—” Fynn shook his head, his hair flying in different directions. He dropped his gaze to his hands. ”When you returned, I came as soon as I found out. You were unconscious when I arrived. The healers and seer said you would recover, but I couldn”t leave. At some point, Terin coaxed me to sleep and dragged me out. He may or may not have received an earful from me when I awoke the next day.”

A feeling I did not wish to acknowledge rolled in my stomach. Shoving it down, I asked, ”Why didn”t you leave? After all, if they said I would be fine, there was no point in staying.”

Fynn brushed back his hair, flattening out some of the mess. A flurry of emotions flashed across his countenance, but they were too fleeting to identify.”You are my best friend, Dani. I wanted to be here when you woke.”

Not knowing what to make of his words, I said nothing.

According to my father, I had been in and out of unconsciousness for the past two weeks. When I had leaped to save Quint, the assailant who held a blade to Quint”s throat had turned and struck me. However, before the enemy”s blade could hit a major organ, Moris had dropped his paralysis on another guard and froze the man mid-strike. Quint had then driven his short sword through the attacker”s chest. Sylvia had only been knocked out briefly, awakening before the last two enemies had been killed. Once my squad had taken care of the remaining assailants, they ran with Quint carrying me.

Without access to healers, they had made sure to wrap my wound and keep it clean as they traveled through the mountains and the forests. But when I had awoken, I had fought them in a fever-driven haze. My body and mind were still in the fight despite having been miles away from it by then.

After that, Moris had kept me in a semi-frozen state as they traveled back to the ship and then to Pontia.

Eventually, the paralysis mixed with the blood loss had been too much for my body and mind, and I had fallen into a coma soon after.

While the grogginess had since subsided, the pain in my muscles had not due to the mixture of soreness from being immobile and the wounds covering my body.

In the silence, Fynn”s gaze remained on me. Part of me wished he would look away. Being under his scrutiny for so long made me want to squirm, but I was also helpless.

And I hated feeling helpless.

I tightened my grip around the blanket.

I had yet to see the gash slicing across my ribcage that the healers had mentioned. However, I had seen a flash of my reflection in the vanity earlier. Old bruises covered my face and skin, my flesh painted with shades of violent purple and green.

I was Danisinia Ember Ferrios.

I was the great-granddaughter of Valor Ferrios, the fiercest warrior in Pontian history, the man who had won the final battle in the Great War. I was supposed to be strong, unshakable, unbreakable. Yet here I was, sitting in my bed, wrapped and wounded after a reconnaissance mission.

This was not the version of myself I ever wanted to show anyone.

”You might be hurt, Dani,” Fynn whispered, ”but you are neither helpless nor weak.”

”Get out of my head, Fynn,” I spat, throwing up my walls and staring at the ceiling.

Fynn huffed. ”I do not need to be in your head to know your thoughts. I know you better than I know myself.”

I scoffed.

The edge of the bed dipped as he leaned his elbows onto it.

”Moris told me what happened,” he whispered.

I bit my lip as the back of my eyes burned. ”Don”t say it,” I hissed.

”Say what?”

My nose twitched, my nostrils flaring. I squeezed the blanket. ”Don”t say I told you so or that I shouldn”t have gone. I don”t need to hear it, nor do I want to.”

”I wasn”t going to say that, Dani. I?—”

I shook my head. ”We were ambushed,” I said, ignoring him. ”I don”t—I don”t remember much. We had just made camp. Quint had decided to take the first watch. But I should have been the one to do so.” My gaze danced across the room, unable to focus on anything as the memory of the moments before blacking out resurfaced. ”I should have searched the surroundings before I went to sleep. But we had been traveling for ten days straight with little rest. We were all tired. I was?—”

I peered at Fynn but then looked away immediately.

When I looked at Fynn, I knew what had happened.

I was distracted.

But I couldn”t admit that. Not to Fynn.

He reached out, but when his hand was an inch or two above my thigh, he pulled it back. Shaking his head, he stood. ”This is all my fault.”

”No, it”s not. You couldn”t have predicted?—”

At the end of the bed, he stopped and gripped the railing, his hair cascading down his face as he stared at the foot of the bed. His knuckles blanched as his fingers tightened around the metal rod.

”I should have known, Dani. I should have known, but I was selfish. I was chasing a man who always manages to be one step ahead of us.” He pushed himself away from the bed and began to pace, his fingers digging into the brown waves that kissed his chin. ”How many times has my mother warned me that the king was not one to be dealt with lightly? That it would take careful, strategic planning if we wanted to beat him?”

”Fynn,” I said, but he didn”t hear me.

”I didn”t listen, though. I never listen, do I?” He dug the heels of his palms across his face. ”That”s what the entire kingdom says, anyway. I never listen. I”m too rash. I”m too?—”

Fynn”s mouth opened, but I was done listening to him spit lies.

”Fynn, it doesn”t matter. What”s done is done!”

When Fynn finally met my gaze, his deep brown eyes were soaked with sadness and regret. However, I didn”t want to be another thing he regretted.

”Dani, I”m?—”

”You have nothing to apologize for. It was my fault.”

”How—”

I pointed at my chest. ”I was the one who was distracted. I was the one who neglected my duties. I know my role. I should have surveyed the area and made sure we were safe. I should have had the first watch.”

”But—”

”No,” I said, shaking my head despite the throbbing pain in my side. ”No buts and no excuses. If you are going to blame anyone, blame me, but never yourself.”

His lips parted, but I gave him one look, and he snapped his mouth shut.

”Never blame yourself, Fynn,” I repeated.

After a second, he nodded and sat at the edge of the bed. I tried to move and make more room for him, but Fynn pushed me back down with a gentle hand.

I wanted to fight back, but at his touch, I almost gasped. His palm was cool against my collarbone, a welcome kiss on my scorching skin as the medication worked overtime.

The pit of my stomach twisted, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

He sat back, yet the feeling lingered.

It”s the fever, I told myself. Nothing more.

”I”m not some fragile princess, Fynn,” I said, trying to forget his touch.

Fynn chuckled, reaching forward and brushing a stray curl behind my ear. ”I never said you were, nor did I say I wanted you to be.”

His tone was light, yet his words were lead in my stomach. Quint”s question the night of the attack surfaced, but this was not the time to have that discussion.

Fynn pointed at the discolored bandage. ”When was the last time they changed this?”

I shrugged. The wrapping no doubt needed to be changed, and based on the stench of sea and pine on my skin, I also needed a proper bath.

Putting aside my pride, I sighed and asked, ”Could you get Helena? Let her know I would like to take a bath?”

”I”ll help you,” Fynn said, already standing.

My eyes widened. Fynn might have seen my body before, but he hadn”t seen the scars. I hadn”t even seen them. It was one thing for him to say I was not weak, but if he saw the truth. . .

”That”s a kind offer but not necessary,” I mumbled.

Fynn brushed a hand across the bottom of my chin, tipping my face up. ”Let me help you, Ferrios. Please.”

I had expected to see pity covering Fynn”s countenance, but I only found concern, sorrow, and desperation.

Unclenching my jaw, I released the blanket. ”All right.”

Fynn smiled and nodded before turning around. He slapped the edge of the door frame and disappeared into my bathing chambers.