The Heir She Loved (Shadows of Sin #4)

28 Everett

October 28th, 2022

It was just after 10 when I finally walked into the house, a black box gripped in one hand.

Evelyn walked out of the kitchen when I stopped in the hall and glanced towards the living area. Emily had gone to her hotel to spend some time with Greyson who had just gotten back from Russia early this morning.

I had been trying to keep myself busy these last two weeks. Busy with Jack and Rae, watching camera footage, waiting for another morsal of the vehicle that man had been driving, only to come up empty on the vehicle and any pictures of the man himself. He was skilled at keeping his face off camera, even when his car was on them.

I had kept myself busy with Greyson too, studying what was left of the mess in the woods. I wanted to see if we could find anything left that might tell us who had come for her that day. But it was useless. Jack and Rae were our best bet now. And I prayed they would find something.

I had also kept myself busy at night, writing in my notebook, watching her sleep, struggle, listening to her scream, and easing her back to sleep before I finally allowed myself a couple of hours of shut eye before starting it again.

But no matter how busy I kept myself; I couldn’t stay away for more than a couple of hours.

She hadn’t seen me since that night, her blinders back on.

I talked to the psychologist about what he thought about it, and he said it was just part of her PTSD. Something about me was causing a reaction in her that her mind wasn’t ready to feel.

Fine, that was fine, but eventually, it had to stop, it had to. I could live with her nightmares. I could live with her screaming and fighting and going silent for spells if that’s what she needed, what I couldn’t survive was her not seeing me.

It was wearing on my soul.

Stella looked up from her chair, giving me a pressed smile, her eyes red, her lashes sticking together from all the tears she had shed watching my girl cling to hers as if Baily was the lifeline Olivia had been desperately searching for.

She was speaking to Emily, to Evelyn, to Lucy and Merlin. All of them. She had talked to all of them at least once.

Why not me?

What if this was one of her games? What if she was trying to catch my attention?

No, this wasn’t a game, it couldn’t be. She was suffering. She was suffering deeply, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

This wasn’t some ex beating her or her mom telling her she wasn’t good enough, that she fucked her “brother”

and ruined her life. This wasn’t anything like that.

She had been raped. Over and over again, brutally. She had been killed almost a dozen times. She had been hung from a hook like a slaughtered pig and beat to shit, whipped, slapped. She had been drowned, starved, touched. She had been psychologically fucked, and almost sold into sex trafficking.

Phil had filled me in on more details of what had happened when she slaughtered those first three men that had raped her. He said it was so brutal that they filled that room with three feet of water just to spray all the blood off the walls, off the ceiling.

They had to hose her down each time too because she was so covered in their blood, there was nothing left of her to be seen. Nothing but her eyes. Even her mouth had been coated in it. She had held their cocks in her hand, had ripped them apart with her teeth. Phil had said that she hadn’t even looked human when he first came in, that she had looked more animal than anything else.

She had been savage and ruthless, and I had seen just a glimpse of it when she pressed that gun into Phil’s skull and pointed the other at me.

“Do it,”

her eyes had screamed. “I fucking dare you.”

She had wanted the fight. She wanted the bloodshed. She needed to feel the life of someone in her hands before she ripped it away from them.

The anger she felt was real, and now, for some reason, she had locked it away. She shouldn’t have been locking something that…that volatile away. She would destroy herself doing that.

I think that’s how I could help her. She had always had a problem with swallowing it, maybe her mind had reverted back to that without realizing it, but she was still in there. The proof of it was right beside me.

I was wrong before though. Her outside wasn’t made of feathers. It was made of the walls of that room and the fire that I had to reignite inside of her was behind that locked door. I think I was inching closer to that key though. I think what I had in this box might help remind her of the power in her bones.

If not, then I needed to figure out a way to give her my power. Give her my strength. Show her that anger could be a weapon and not something she needed to fear, even in this amount because I knew she felt it. I knew she felt it deep within her bones.

Maybe that’s exactly what it was.

Maybe she was so afraid of feeling it that deeply that she was swallowing it for fear of what she would become.

If that were the case…

My hand tightened around the large black box. Evelyn said Olivia’s eyes had said it all. That she was ready for the gift I had made for her before the night she was taken. Some pretty new jewelry for my girl. A reminder of the tether that was forever bound between us.

I had lost all control, and I needed it back but so had she, and in her mind, her control was found in being owned.

I had learned so much trying to find a way to heal her, and I think this was it. I think I could help her by doing what I did best: owning her.

But I had to approach this in a new way. A better way.

Merlin was now sleeping on Lucy’s head, Lucy laying on the floor just under Olivia.

I didn’t think Lucy liked the mouse very much at first, but I think he was growing on her. I think Lucy could see how important Merlin was, and I think part of her knew that the only way her friend would heal was by holding onto this little mouse.

I had gone back and forth on what that mouse meant to Olivia. Maybe it was a representation of how she felt, how she saw herself. Maybe she saw him as a victim of the Delepski’s just like herself. I wasn’t sure, all I knew was that the mouse was the most cared for mouse in this entire world. And it wouldn’t surprise me if he loved her.

Olivia?

She was clutching the sleeping Baily against her chest, tangled around she and the giraffe like a spider around a fly.

Even witnessing this, I felt guilt at how much jealousy filled me at the sight.

Fuck, I missed her. I missed her touch, I missed her voice. I missed the way she said my name, the way her eyes shifted when our conversations turned from serious to playful. As if it was a game in her mind to push me to the point of snapping. To the point of pinning her against the wall and reminding her who she was.

Stella tilted her head to one side as I worked my jaw, walking slowly around the couch to get a better view of my girl. “Are you okay?”

she asked softly.

I ran a hand through my hair, studying her carefully, watching her breathe softly, her face eased of all pain, all the suffering. She was at peace now. “She’s going to be fine,”

I said, and I wasn’t sure who for. Me or Olivia or even the dog, I didn’t care. I just needed to say it. It had been a long time since I had felt this kind of powerlessness. Not since I was a boy had I felt such a feeling, yet ever since she was taken, it’s all I could feel. All I was capable of feeling, so no, I wasn’t sure why I said it. I wasn’t sure why I felt the need, why my hands had to be gripped into fists to keep themselves from shaking, or why I was seeking comfort in my sisters, but there it was.

I needed to gain it back. I needed to get it back, and I know she needed that too.

Stella looked over to her daughter and the woman holding her, and, after a second or two, she nodded, a soft smile touching her lips. “Yeah, she’s going to be fine.”

And I felt the emotion burn the back of my eyes as my jaw clenched shut. Yeah, she would be fine.

Stella was quiet a moment before she shoved her hair back and sat back. “How long has she been holding that in?”

I crouched down in front of Lucy who looked as tired as Olivia had right before she finally passed out after sobbing for so many hours. “Since the second we brought her to the hospital,”

I answered truthfully. “She made that house though,”

I nodded towards the home she had built for her pet mouse and placed on the coffee table. “She’s made a few of them since getting back here. Merlin lives in it.”

Stella visibly shifted. “I saw the mouse,”

she said, clearly uncomfortable.

I didn’t care how uncomfortable anyone was, that mouse would stay so long as she needed it.

Baily shifted, blinking heavily, and I wondered if she was even comfortable with how she was laying. “Whoa,”

she mumbled, looking directly at the house.

Had she not been asleep at all? How was it possible that she stayed awake all this time?

“Baily, sweetheart, why aren’t you sleeping?”

her mom asked, wondering the same thing.

She yawned, pushing back into Olivia. “Just in case she needs me.”

My eyes lifted to the kid’s and I couldn’t help but swallow. She was going places, I could see it in those eyes of hers, just like Olivia’s. I wondered how many of our kids would have those same eyes. I hoped all of them. I hoped they all looked like her.

Baily settled into her arms a little more. “Why does she have a pet mouse?”

she asked tiredly.

I set the box down on the coffee table. “It was all she had left,”

I answered, feeling that familiar anger burn under my skin. “She needed something to hold onto.”

Baily offered a small smile, sliding her little hand over Olivia’s where the sweater had pulled up, revealing those angry scars of hers. “I think she still does,”

she said, more awake now. “I think maybe that’s why she’s still so sick. She doesn’t have anything holding her feet on the ground. Mama’s holding me down. She needs someone to hold her down.”

Was that her problem with me? She lost her tether? Would my gift give it back to her? Remind her that I was still holding her feet firmly on this world?

I nodded, feeling the burn behind my eyes. “Yeah, kid, I think that’s exactly it.”

If I could give her the tether back, maybe she would come back to me.

Stella leaned forward, folding her hands together, her warm blue eyes finding mine. “Sometimes there are emotions so big that even grownups can’t really understand them,”

she explained. “Sometimes it takes a village to help remind someone that those big emotions aren’t something to be afraid of, but to be felt and embraced and then let go.”

I would do anything if it meant the light would return to her eyes.

I gave Olivia and Baily one last look before straightening and finding Stella’s eyes.

She nodded and pushed herself to a stand. “Okay, baby, it’s time to say goodbye.”

“But Aunty needs me.”

Stella walked over. “I know, but we can come back soon, maybe when she’s feeling better.”

Baily released a breath and carefully peeled Olivia away from herself, letting her mom pick her up. “Uncle Everett?”

I froze, my eyes finding the kid’s. What had she just called me?

“She needs someone to make her not feel so floaty.”

She yawned, leaning into her mom. “Maybe do that.”

Evelyn smiled from behind the couch. “Yeah, Uncle,”

she hummed.

I frowned at her before turning back to the kid. “You are the smartest kid in this house,”

I offered.

She smiled. “I know.”

Stella laughed lightly as she carried Baily to the door. “I’ll come back any time you need me.”

“Thank you,”

Evelyn said, leading her to the door.

Once the door was shut and locked behind her, Evelyn came back in, her smile gone. “She drank two full bottles today.”

Fine, it wouldn’t last forever.

I couldn’t blame her completely for drinking. I couldn’t blame her for trying to erase what happened. There were nights when I thought about drinking myself into a coma just to drown out the sounds of her screaming.

I could still hear them. The screams of her begging me to save her, and the screams from her nightmares. We couldn’t give her the drugs when she drank, which forced her mind to have those nightmares, even if she didn’t remember them. I did, and I hated it.

I finally picked she and the box up and headed for her room.

“Have they gotten any closer to finding him?”

Evelyn asked, following after me.

I worked my jaw. “No. If Azrael would just be more forthcoming about the information I know he has, this wouldn’t be a problem.”

“I don’t know, Ev. I feel like we should just let this one go.”

I glanced back over my shoulder, Lucy carrying Merlin on my right. “What the fuck did you just say?”

It was an effort to keep my hands from gripping her too tight. To keep my tone soft but I could feel the anger burning within me. What the fuck kind of suggestion was that?

“He never actually got his hands on her. I think we should just…just let Azrael do his thing and focus on her. If she has that much anger burning through her mind, then maybe our focus should be training her, pushing her, so that when the dam does break, she’ll be ready to do something about it. We have all of those Initiates going bad, maybe we can take her out on the hunt for one. Let her kill them. Give her a taste of the real healing she needs.”

Revenge. The way she put it, it sounded like all Olivia needed was revenge, but I didn’t think it was just that. I think it was deeper. I think it was a hatred that had been growing in her heart since the moment she realized her mother only wanted her for the cameras.

I think that once we let her loose, she’d be exactly like Lucy was. An animal in need of blood.

And fuck if that didn’t just make me crave her more.

I worked my jaw, trying to regain some semblance of control as my hands tightened around her. This whole situation was fucked, and I was selfish in the most pure and volatile way.

I had missed her.

I had loved her.

I thought I had lost her.

I wanted to give her every ounce of those emotions, show her how much they belonged to her, but I couldn’t. Not in the way I needed, not yet.

I had to bide my time, rebuild the trust. I wouldn’t shatter her more just because my cock was in desperate need of her pussy. Even if she did like it at first, want it, if I took it from her now, she would never come back.

Without responding, I walked into Olivia’s room, set the box down and then put her gently in the bed.

Lucy jumped up, crawling to the other side of the bed and huffing down into the covers, the mouse readjusting.

I stepped back after she was all tucked in. God, she was beautiful, and soon, she would gain her strength back and she would realize how unbreakable she truly was. It was only a matter of time.

I finally opened the box, revealing her new items.

Two thick leather bracelets, bright pink, with silver buckles on them. Each had a locking mechanism, which I locked as soon as they were securely on each wrist, covering those scars she never wanted to see.

And perhaps her views on them would change in the future, but for now, I would try and shift the view from torture to ownership. My ownership.

Each of the cuffs had a black outline of a Queen chess piece on them too, a reminder of who she was to me. Who she had always been.

I pulled the collar out of the box next.

It wasn’t exactly like the last one. It was still leather, pink, thick, and it still locked in the back, but this time, there was a black chain on the front of it, looping through a metal ring on either side of the leather, the chain linked by a black metal heart.

When I clipped the leash to that heart and pulled, the metal chain pulled tighter, tightening the collar around her neck, but when it was just sitting around her neck, relaxed, the heart was positioned at the hollow of her throat, the chain having enough give to hang a little.

I locked it gently around her neck. Her head fell to one side as I straightened and took her in, gently brushing the hair out of her eyes, trailing my knuckles along her soft skin.

The scars on her face had faded a lot, but the rest of her body was now riddled in them. I hoped she knew how beautiful I found her. Even now. The scars didn’t lessen her. What they did hadn’t lessened her to me. In fact, she was more. Stronger than I thought, braver. She was shatter-proof.

Now all I had to do was show her. Show her that what she saw as broken, I saw as beautiful. What she saw as ugly, I saw as untouchable. She was mine. My Claim, in every circumstance, in every chapter, in every version of herself, she would always be mine.