The Heir She Loved (Shadows of Sin #4)

34 Olivia

November 9th, 2022

“I don’t know where Merlin is,”

Everett said when I finally walked out of the bedroom in a new pair of sweats.

He would never understand it because I didn’t completely understand it myself, but I think what he had done in there, the talking, the leaving the room when I asked, giving me space, I think it finally got me back on the path I needed to be on.

A path that would hopefully lead somewhere good.

I glanced around the room, He was right, he had to be. What happened in there had shifted something. The crying, the cuddling, the fingering. It was a step in the right direction, I was sure of it. I just had to keep pushing myself. I had to keep moving forward, no matter what fears I felt.

It was the only way we would make it out of this.

I whistled his little tune and waited as Everett stood from the table and headed for the fridge.

A few seconds later, I saw him running out from under the couch. “He must have hidden away,”

I said, crouching down and holding out my hand.

He ran right into it. I stroked his little head as I stood. Maybe it was time I bought him his own home so he wouldn’t get so lost all the time.

“Are you hungry?”

I nodded, taking my seat at the table.

When I didn’t respond out loud, he turned back to me, something flashing through his eyes.

Shit.

“Um…”

I cleared my throat, setting Merlin on the table. “Yes, but,”

I started as he turned back around.

His eyes found mine again, trusting, warm.

“Can we—can…Please no carrots.”

I prayed he wouldn’t ask why. I prayed I wouldn’t have to talk about it at all.

He offered a small smile, his eyes flicking to my lips and back. “No carrots,”

he agreed, and got to work on making us some food, and I watched him. Watched the way his body moved while he cut up the potatoes, tore up some lettuce. None of his motions were sharp or angry. There was no tension in his shoulders or a chill in the air.

Everything was fine.

Truly, actually fine.

When dinner was ready, he dished up both plates and walked them over, placing one in front of me before taking his seat adjacent to mine.

It smelled amazing, just like all his food. After a few minutes of eating, I finally worked up the courage to ask about the one person from that place I had hoped lived through it. “Is Phil…”

but the words died on my lips. Did I want to know the answer? What if he had killed him? I couldn’t blame him, but Phil was a good man. He tried to be a good man. They had mentioned his name once, but I couldn’t be sure if that meant he was still breathing.

“Alive,”

Everett confirmed, relief flooding through me. “As far as I’m concerned, he did what he could given the circumstances. I wanted to kill him,”

he confessed quietly. “Because he did take their money, he took the job, but if he had not been there…”

There was a much greater chance that I would have died. “He wanted to try and save me,”

I explained, pushing around my potatoes. “He was going to shoot us out of there that day, but I told him no.”

Everett’s brows furrowed. “Why?”

“Because if he did that, there’s a chance we’d both be dead, but if I tried something, if I ran or shot someone, they wouldn’t have killed me.”

He straightened. “How do you know that?”

I searched his eyes. Azrael kept the secret for a reason, but this was Everett. I shouldn’t be keeping anything from him. I didn’t want to. We didn’t have to go back to normal, we could be new. Evolve together, he had said. “Mr. Alascer wanted me in good condition,”

I explained, watching as something feral flashed through his eyes. “They weren’t allowed to leave anymore scars.”

Something dark and chilling flashed through his eyes. “Alascer?”

he asked, his voice hardening. “That’s what his name was? Alascer?”

I nodded, feeling the tension grow in my own chest. “You know him?”

“I recognize the name,”

he stated coldly as he put his utensils down. “Eat your food, I have to make a phone call.”

With that, he headed for his room, shutting the door behind him with a finality.

Lucy looked from the door to me, her head cocked to one side. He did know him. They had history, and while I was curious to know why, I still understood the rules. I didn’t need to know everything. I suppose that wouldn’t change. Which was fine. I couldn’t expect him to change a lifetime of rules because of something I went through, especially if it meant he was trying to protect me.

So, I gave some of my food to both Lucy and Merlin, and I sat back, watching television until Everett came back out. We finished our meal together and retired to the couch together. Not cuddling, but not sitting so far apart anymore.

I could do this. I could get used to his touch again. I could heal.

“We evolve together,”

he had said.

Together. Always.

November 13th, 2022

“Hey, um…I want to try something, but I need your help.”

“Already intrigued,”

Evelyn hummed on the other end of the phone. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

My cheeks were bright red as I stared at the front door from where I sat on the end of Everett’s bed, Lucy sitting in the doorway, guarding for a man she absolutely adored. “It’s…”

I smoothed out the blankets, remembering the last time I had sat on this bed just days ago. “Personal.”

I had been trying these last four days. Pushing myself to allow him to touch me more. A brush of the hand, sitting a little closer on the couch. We were able to almost cuddle now. My hand on his thigh, his arm around the back of the couch, so close, I could feel the heat of him seeping into my clothes.

I was making good progress. We were talking, communicating, trying to work through it together. I even stayed up at night, staring at the ceiling, willing myself to join him in the bedroom, only to end up lying there until morning, sleep deprived.

I could do this.

It was a big step, but if I could manage him fingering me, I could manage this too.

“Oh?”

There was a shuffling in the background. “He gone?”

“He was coming to meet you, but he had something he had to do first.”

She was quiet. “What time did he leave?”

“About an hour ago.”

“Then we might have about ten minutes to talk before he shows up. Tell me,”

she pushed gently. “I will support whatever it is.”

I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. “You guys all went through the same program as Rae,”

I said, reaching for the charm on my collar. “Did that require forcing yourself to get used to being drugged?”

Evelyn gaped audibly. “Ms. Kingsmen, do you want to drug Everett?”

I covered my eyes. “It’s a bad idea.”

“No!”

she laughed. “No way, I love it. Why do you want to drug him? Did he say a really dumb thing? Sometimes he does that, but I’ve never thought about drugging him for it. That is a great idea.”

I sighed, shaking my head. “No, I want…”

I glanced down to my thighs as they tightened involuntarily. “I want to push myself, but I…I need to be the one who controls this.”

Just like he said. Find our own path. I control it all. I control us. So, if we were going to take the next step, I needed to make sure that I was in complete control over all of our actions.

She was quiet a moment. “I am really proud of you, baby girl,”

she told me sincerely, causing my stomach to warm. “Yes, we were trained in it. He should have a duffle under his bed, you know it?”

I nodded, instantly sliding off the bed to pull the duffle out that I knew was there. “Okay.”

“When you get inside, there should be an unused needle and a small vial in there, unlabeled. It’s our own concoction that we use to knock people out. Little of this, little of that. Anyway, that’s what we’re given during training.”

I found the unused syringe and vial, the liquid clear. “Okay, now what?”

She thought about it. “Fill it to 15ML, that should do it. Put him out for about two hours, so you’ll have to wait it out.”

I frowned, sitting back on my heels. “He woke me up with cold water.”

“He gave you a really small dose. You were never drugged before you two met. It was easier to wake you up.”

Oh.

I glanced towards Lucy again, thinking it through. “How will I get him to the bed?”

“Good old-fashioned dragging,”

she beamed. “He doesn’t weigh more than 215, pure muscle, but you’ll do great. The height might get to you. Lift with your legs!”

she rushed out.

“Who are you talking to?”

I heard Everett ask, my heart slamming to a halt, eyes widening.

“Olivia,”

she replied truthfully. “She’s thinking about rearranging. You’ve got this,”

she told me and hung up.

I dropped the phone and turned back to the syringe and vial. She was right, I got this. I could do it. I was ready.

I was pretty sure I was ready.

I wanted to be ready.

My heart wouldn’t slow. Even Lucy was starting to feel the anxiousness that was wafting from me.

But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop pacing. I couldn’t stop looking at the clock. I couldn’t stop rubbing my own arms, my hands, everything.

I could do this though. I could.

It was Everett.

I was going to drug him, tie him up, and then I would move at my own pace. Take what I wanted, just as he did.

I wanted to take this back from them. I wanted to own our sex-life again. I missed him. I missed the intimacy of what we had.

I flexed my hand, remembering how it felt to hold it around his throat, to watch the blood drip from his skin because of me. It had felt powerful.

I had felt powerful, and I wanted to keep feeling it. I was in control of all of this—

Lucy looked at the door, ears perked.

My heart stopped beating, my lungs stopped working.

Fuck.

I glanced towards the table where I had hidden the syringe under some torn up napkins. Merlin was in his new home, a beautiful cage filled with everything a mouse could possibly need, that sat on a stand against the wall in the living room area, but I still brought him out from time to time, so napkins on the table was completely normal.

So long as Merlin didn’t squeak.

I glanced his way before taking a seat at the table, right in front of my open laptop.

I hadn’t yet been able to write, but I felt like I was getting there. If I could just keep pushing myself, I knew I would get there soon.

The door opened a moment after I opened my document. I could feel the sweat trickling down my back, and I wasn’t sure if it was fear or anxiety or something else, but it was there. Loud and clear.

Everett walked in, his eyes instantly finding mine as if he had known I would be there, waiting for him.

But when he took off his bike helmet, a smile isn’t what greeted me, and I instantly knew something was wrong.

I straightened, watching as he shut the door. “Everett?”

He walked over, taking a seat directly across from me, his eyes darker than they had been in days. He set his bike keys and helmet down, his hair unruly and out of place, blood splattering his neck, and I couldn’t help but wonder where else that blood was.

“Mr. Alascer,”

he began, his voice low, “is Rae’s father.”

And the entire world stopped. Every sound, every breath, every car outside, everything stopped. The words slowly fell through me Over and over again.

“Rae’s father.”

I leaned back in my chair, watching him carefully. “I don’t understand,”

I finally said, folding my hands tightly in my lap. This was how he greeted me? Today of all days, this was the information he brought to me?

His eyes were unwavering. “Yes, you do,”

he replied almost inaudibly.

I searched his eyes before shaking my head and pushing myself to a stand, all of that pent up energy from before coming to a catalyst at his words. “No, no, I don’t,”

I said, turning away from him. I put my hands on my hips, my heart unbelievably calm. This couldn’t be happening. They had gotten their information wrong. They had gotten the paperwork wrong. They had to be wrong.

“It’s one of the many secrets Azrael has been keeping from us, but I had to tell Rae—”

I turned on him. “Stop,”

I ordered, feeling that black fog slowly make its way up to my eyes.

And he did. He kept his mouth shut and watched me without saying another word.

They were allowed to have their secrets, and Azrael certainly didn’t owe me anything, but what in the actual fuck? I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t. I had been so damn good at trying to control this, I couldn’t…

My eyes fell to that pile of napkins, my heart thrumming.

Control, I needed control.

My eyes lifted back to his, a dark sort of calm washing over me. “Where were you? Just now, with Evelyn. Before then. What were you doing?”

I asked evenly. I tried to make it as casual as possible, walking around the table, swiping the napkins off as if I were going to discard them. I wasn’t smooth. I wasn’t like him, and I knew, rationally, that at some point between now and when I injected him, he’d realize what I was doing, I just prayed he wouldn’t fight it.

I didn’t think he would.

In fact, part of me wondered if I even had to drug him at all, but this would help me. Drugging him like he drugged me would help me.

“Jack, Rae, and Zo were in town for a little bit,”

he explained. “I went to talk with them before finding Evelyn. Normal business with Evelyn.”

I walked towards the garbage casually, my muscles tense. “You called them here?”

“I called Rae a couple of days ago, yes. They were flying through on their way to follow those pictures from Tommy’s, so they made a stop.”

I knew my role here, but it still sucked when I wasn’t involved in the secrets. I deserved to know a few things, and yes, I did recognize that he was telling me about it now, and rationally, I knew that if he told me three days ago that Alascer was Rae’s father, he probably wouldn’t have had much more information to tell me other than that, but was I crazy thinking I deserved to know three days ago?

Probably.

I glanced over my shoulder once I reached the garbage, seeing that he was no longer watching me, but his bedroom door.

My heart skipped a beat as I adjusted the syringe in my hand, tossing the napkins away. “Who else knows?”

“Jack and Rae, Zo, Azrael, possibly Pops, us,”

he answered evenly as I pulled off the cap.

I turned to him. “Everything that happened to Rae happened years ago.”

“Azrael told her to wait, it’s part of his...hunt.”

Not as delusional as Everett made it seem then. It was real, whatever it was he was going after.

I slowly stepped up behind him, his head angling towards me ever so slightly. I could see the corner of one of his eyes narrow.

He knew I was up to something. “She doesn’t seem like the kind to wait to exact her revenge.”

Everett watched me for a moment before returning his attention to the bedroom door. “Azrael was sabotaging every effort they made to go after him.”

I had more questions, but those could be asked later, after he woke up. I slid the needle into his neck, his body tensing, his hands tightening into fists, a low snarl leaving his lips as I injected him with the drugs.

I pulled it out and stepped back, my eyes wide. Holy fuck.

Everett stretched his neck a little, his jaw working. “I hope you know what you’re doing,”

he growled threateningly.

I looked at the syringe in my hand and then back to him. “Yeah, me too.”