Chapter 19 Valencia
Valencia
We don’t speak in the car, but Gideon holds my hand the whole way from the Upper East Side to Chelsea, stroking my knuckles gently with his thumb. Focusing on that simple, repetitive motion helps me process what just happened.
God, I can’t believe I slapped Everett. But after years of remaining calm and rational during his explosive tantrums, I’d fucking had it.
Maybe now his family can stop wondering why we broke up.
And while my relationship with his mother might never be the same, I’m grateful that I haven’t lost her completely.
The tears have stopped by the time Gideon bustles me into his apartment. I think he would have carried me from the car to the door if he thought I’d let him, but I’m okay. Really.
Well, sort of. And only because Gideon is here.
He hangs up my coat, then peers into the bag Fern pressed on him.
“What’s that?” My voice comes out raspy.
“Looks like dinner.” He puts the bag in the kitchen, then comes back and cups my face. A line appears between his brows. “Tell me what you need right now, Valencia.”
I fist my hands in his sage green sweater and tug him closer. “You. I need you .”
He searches my face for a long moment. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He does pick me up then, and I attack his mouth with soft, nipping kisses as he carries me to his bedroom.
Somehow, he seems to know I need to be in control tonight, and after we shed our clothes, he maneuvers me so I’m on top.
With his hands on my hips urging me on, I ride him until I can’t see straight.
And it is exactly what I need.
When it’s over, I collapse by his side in a tangle of bedding.
“Ready to talk?” he asks.
I let out a winded laugh. “Right now?”
“Maybe in a couple minutes.”
My thighs are sticky, but I’m not ready to leave this bed. And before we discuss what happened tonight, there’s something important I want to say.
“Thank you for coming with me. And for staying. In the city, I mean. I didn’t want you to, but ... I’m really happy you’re here.”
Gideon threads his fingers through the ends of my hair, and his eyes glitter with a fathomless wealth of emotion. “I couldn’t leave you.”
“Because of the list?” I say it lightly, not daring to hope his reasoning runs deeper than that.
He shakes his head slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. “Not because of the list.”
My insides quake like I’m standing at the edge of a precipice, and I’m terrified there won’t be anything—any one —to catch me if I fall. Still, I ask, “Then why?”
“Come on, Valencia.” His tone is chiding. “You know why.”
I let out a shuddering breath. “I’ve had a rough couple of days. Maybe you’d better spell it out.”
He gazes at me for so long my pulse skyrockets again.
Finally, he speaks. “I couldn’t leave you, because ... I love you.”
Everything in me stills.
“You do?” My voice comes out small and uncertain. Hopeful.
He nods.
“Are you sure?”
“Valencia.” His voice is utterly calm. “Where’s your overnight bag?”
I glance over the side of the bed, where I left a large tote bag the day before. It’s not there.
“Top drawer, on the right.”
I squint at the dresser. I’m sure he doesn’t mean what I think he means, but I climb off the bed and open the drawer.
Sure enough, my spare clothes are neatly folded alongside his crisp white undershirts.
I clear my throat. “And my toiletries?”
“Bathroom. First drawer on the left. That entire sink area is yours.”
My heart races. Something is happening, but I’m too afraid to name it.
Except ... we agreed to communicate, right? I can just ask him.
I shut the drawer carefully. “What does this mean, Gideon?”
He leaves the bed and comes over to me. We’re still naked, and I’m momentarily distracted by the shift of his muscles as he walks. Suddenly, he’s right in front of me, brushing a lock of hair over my ear.
“It means ...” He bites that captivating lower lip, and his tone turns wry. “That I’m writing a eulogy for my leather sofa.”
I blink, pulling my gaze from his mouth to his eyes. “What? Why?”
He grimaces. “I’ve seen what your cat did to yours.”
“My—my cat? Archimedes?”
“Do you have another cat who’s been hiding this whole time?”
“No, but ...” My mind goes blank. All I can do is glance back at the dresser.
Gideon touches my chin, gently turning me to face him again.
“That drawer is just the beginning, love. I’d like it if you—and Archie, of course—would move in with me.”
“Oh.” The trembling is back. “That’s ... a lot more than a spare toothbrush.”
“I know.” He rubs the back of his neck and looks almost embarrassed.
“Initially, that’s all I was going to ask because I didn’t think I deserved more, and even that would’ve made me happier than you could possibly imagine.
But I want you to know where I stand, Valencia.
Twelve days with you isn’t enough. Honestly, I’m not sure forever will be enough.
Maybe that’s over the top, but ...” He shrugs, his lips curving in a sheepish smile. “That’s me.”
A week ago, I would’ve laughed and called him a drama queen. But I know he’s serious. And too much has happened for me to hide behind humor, the way I did at Rolf’s.
Even as my heart begs me to accept what he’s saying, that old fear of being a burden rises up, and I need to know that this is not because he thinks I’m a victim.
I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Is this because of what happened today?”
He looks so taken aback, I already know it’s not. “You think I’m asking you to move in with me out of—what? Pity? Obligation?”
Anguish squeezes my voice. “ Yes. ”
“Valencia, I unpacked your bag yesterday after I got home.”
I quickly review the timeline. “After our argument? Weren’t you angry?”
He waves that away. “‘Go to France’ is hardly the worst thing you’ve ever said to me. I just want you to see that I’m serious about you. About us .”
“But what about when the holidays are over? I’ve enjoyed every second we’ve spent together, but things won’t be the same once I go back to work.”
His lips quirk in amusement. “Valencia, I already know that you’re mission driven and hardworking. Besides, those aren’t bad qualities.”
I swallow. “It’s been a problem. Before.”
His expression darkens, but all he says is, “It’s not a problem to me .”
And with that, something becomes startlingly clear. All year, I’ve believed that my commitment to my job would hinder a new relationship. That even though Everett cheated, I was also partly to blame.
But Everett never understood this fundamental part of me. He just wanted me to be the perfect WAG and make him look good.
Gideon might have teased me when we were kids, but since we’ve reunited, he’s respected me and my decisions.
It couldn’t have been easy for him to stand back while I spoke with Everett, but Gideon didn’t try to stop me.
Instead, he supported my choice and comforted me afterward.
And even when I didn’t want him to, he put me first, rather than letting me suffer through a painful situation alone.
That’s love. Standing by my side while I do hard things, being a safe space to share my thoughts and feelings, and enthusiastically participating in a silly, sexy Christmas list, just to make me happy.
I think of the sealed red envelope I hid in his stocking. Maybe we really are on the same page.
“I’m scared,” I confess, because even that’s easy to say to him. “This is going really fast.”
“It scares me a little, too.” His smile is tender. “But that just means we care about doing this right. And besides, we have a secret weapon.”
“We do?”
His grin widens. “Open communication.”
He’s right. Maybe it’s only been twelve days, but we’ve created a solid foundation. I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to build upon it myself, but Gideon has already shown he’s along for the ride, no matter how ridiculous my ideas might be, and he’s willing to put his heart on the line.
How can I do anything less?
I tilt my face to his. “Say it again?”
Warmth suffuses his features. He knows exactly what I mean.
“I love you, Valencia.”
Tears spring to my eyes. I throw my arms around his neck, and he lifts me until I’m on tiptoe, our bodies flush together.
In his embrace, I finally find the courage to name the emotion I’ve been subduing. “I love you, too,” I whisper into his neck.
He exhales, and it’s like his entire being relaxes. “Thank fuck.” He pulls back and gives me a relieved smile. “I didn’t know what I was going to do if you responded any differently.”
I choke out a watery laugh. “This feels way too soon. But it also feels ... right?”
“It feels inevitable .” His fervent declaration ends with a kiss that has me dragging him back to the bed.
After a quick fuck and an even quicker shower, we heat up the food and sit side by side at the dining table in our matching pajamas.
“Did you really enlist Fern’s help?” I ask, piling slices of ham and various side dishes onto my plate.
“I just messaged her for the address.”
I swallow a bite of mashed potatoes. “I’m surprised she didn’t tell you to go fuck yourself.”
Gideon’s cheeks redden and he becomes very interested in his green beans. “She did, actually. And I was forced to admit that I’m in love with you.”
I slap the table in mock outrage. “You told her before you told me?”
He raises a sardonic eyebrow. “Only because you demanded I leave.”
“I’m sorry.” I reach over and take his hand. “My reaction was more about me missing my parents and not wanting to burden you.”
He gives my fingers a squeeze. “If I’d had the courage then to tell you how I felt, maybe you would’ve seen why it was such an easy decision for me to make.”
“I might not have believed you,” I muse. “But I can’t imagine why you would’ve put yourself through all that drama today for any other reason.”
“So you believe me? That I love you?” Vulnerability shines in his eyes, and I nod.
“Good.” His tone turns brisk. “Then you’ll understand why I’m hiring a moving company tomorrow to get you out of that prick’s apartment.”
“Tomorrow is Christmas Day.”
“Fine. I’ll wait a day. But you’re not sleeping there again.”
I sigh at his high-handedness. “Gideon—”
“Please don’t debate me on this.” He’s wearing his lawyer face, which means he’s digging his heels in.
“He screamed at you and called you names with his entire family present. And I’ve seen the fights he’s gotten into on the ice.
Forgive me if I’m not comfortable with you being there while he still has keys. ”
Because it’s exactly the sort of advice I would give to someone in my situation, I don’t argue. “Okay, but I’ll find a new place as soon as—”
“Oh, my God, Valencia.” Gideon plunks his elbows on the table and drops his head into his hands. “What part of me telling you that I want you and your cat to move in did you not understand?”
“I didn’t think you meant in two days!”
He raises his head and pins me with a look. “I don’t.”
“Oh, then—”
“I meant today .”
I stare at him blankly. “Oh.”
His expression softens. “Look, if you really don’t want to move in yet, or at all, I’ll help you find another option.
Because as much as I want to fall asleep with you every night and wake up next to you every morning, the most important thing to me is your safety.
Just tell me what you want, Valencia, and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you.”
I swallow hard, struck speechless by the earnestness of his words.
This has gone extremely fast, and I’m not usually the type to rush into things. Unfortunately, that means I haven’t rushed out of things, either.
I stayed in my last relationship far longer than I should have. Even before Everett cheated, I knew we weren’t a good fit. But I said yes when he proposed because it seemed like that was the path we were on.
The night I saw Gideon, I stepped off the beaten path of the workaholic bookworm and onto a new one with him. I’m eager to see where it leads. And if he’s willing to have me and my cat and all my books cluttering up his beautiful apartment, well ...
Why wait?
I consider asking how he’ll feel about making a “New Year, New Home” list, but I already know what his answer will be.
“Okay,” I say quietly. “I’m in.”
His fork clatters as he pulls me into his arms.