Chapter Two
S ara ran to the garden to escape the humiliation of Somerville’s confession. His conversation with Lord Courtland proved she was but a burden he’d rescued in his attempt to be her knight in shining armor. His intentions might be honorable, but her heart broke to learn the truth of how he felt about her.
She swiped at her tears as she settled on a bench tucked away behind a thicket of bushes. She had discovered the hiding space on the second day of their visit. Sara had always felt uncomfortable around the aristocracy, and the Whethams’ warm welcoming confused her. Their behavior didn’t differ from her friends. However, she was unaccustomed to their kind treatment. Servants were to perform their duties in the background, not enjoy tea with the lady of the manor as if they were friendly acquaintances. How was she to grace everyone with a smile of happiness that she was marrying the gentleman of her dreams when it was all false?
Sara had never felt more alone. Even with Vivian’s support, it didn’t strip away the sense that she didn’t belong in their world. She missed the simple life she had shared with her grandmother. Perhaps the villain’s suggestion of returning to Fordwich was her only option.
She had fooled herself into believing Somerville had fallen in love with her by his ardent attention of late. He had been so protective and had comforted her when the villain’s threats frightened her. She had mistaken his kind gestures for acts of affection. How na?ve she had been. Now she must make a decision that would only end in heartache.
If she left, it would break her heart to part from Mairi and Somerville, and she would be left with no prospects for employment. As for a home, she could return to her grandmother’s cottage. It’d been impossible to part with the place after her death. However, if she stayed, she would enter a loveless marriage. To spend a lifetime married to a gentleman who never returned her love would be devastating. Somerville would always consider her an obligation. Could she marry Somerville under those circumstances?
A handkerchief floated down onto Sara’s lap. She glanced up to meet Somerville’s guilt-stricken gaze. She lowered her head and curled her fingers around the linen. It was foolish, but she felt his warmth seep onto her fingertips from the cloth.
“This spot used to be Claudia’s favorite place to sneak away to,” Somerville reminisced.
Sara gasped, horrified at invading a sacred place for Somerville, and attempted to rise. “I apologize.”
Somerville reached out to stop Sara from leaving. “I am glad you find the same comfort here.”
Sara wiped away her tears and held the handkerchief out to return to Somerville, but he shook his head in response. She stayed silent, unsure how to respond to him and the awkwardness they now faced since she’d discovered his true feelings for her.
Somerville leaned back to rest against the bench and stared at Sara. The silence between them might seem uncomfortable, yet he found it to be soothing and took great comfort in it. She was lovely to gaze upon, with her honey curls flowing around her shoulders. The white gown she wore for their wedding hugged her petite frame. He wished she would meet his eyes so he could lose himself in their aqua depths. However, he had blundered his chance with his callous remarks.
A chilly wind swept by, causing Sara to shiver. Now he was an insensitive brute. While he sat admiring her, Sara froze in her thin attire. He swore silently under his breath so as not to cause her any more distress. He rose, tore off his suit coat, and swept it across her shoulders. Somerville sat back down and gathered her hands into his. She stiffened but soon softened at his intimate touch. He attempted to focus on soothing her troubled thoughts. However, touching her overwhelmed his senses. He had lied to Courtland about how he never would’ve asked for Sara’s hand in marriage. It was the response his fellow peer expected to hear. But in truth, ever since Sara entered his life, he had thought of nothing else. He grew tired of denying his feelings for the girl. He only hoped Sara would grant him her forgiveness.
“Are you warm enough?” At Sara’s nod, Somerville continued. “I want to apologize for what you overheard.”
“’Tis unnecessary,” Sara murmured.
“I never meant a word I spoke to Lord Courtland.”
“Please do not deny your true feelings,” Sara whispered.
“’Tis not how I truly feel. Those are the words of a pretentious duke speaking to his fellow peer. Not of a duke who has fallen for his governess.”
Sara withdrew her hand from Somerville’s grasp. “There is no need for you to sweeten your words, Your Grace. I have already promised I will marry you. Even though our marriage will bring shame to your good family name, I will not tarnish it by leaving you alone at the altar.”
Somerville curled in his fingers to keep from reaching for Sara again. Her withdrawal bothered him more than he cared to admit. He feared his feelings ran deeper for Sara than those he’d shared with his late wife. Claudia’s death had devastated him, and he’d sworn never to love with that intensity again.
However, the passion that consumed him whenever he was near Sara showed he was setting himself up for the same heartache, or worse, if something would ever happen to Sara. Already, the threats against her brought out his protective instincts to offer her marriage.
It wouldn’t matter how he responded to Sara. She was determined to believe his lies. He had placed himself in a real quandary with his pretentious remarks. He hadn’t realized his sweet-natured governess could be so stubborn. Just another endearing quality he could admire. He would bide his time and show her how much she meant to him after the ceremony.
Somerville rose and offered his hand to help Sara rise. “Very well then. Shall we not keep our guests waiting?”
Sara placed her hand in his, and the all-consuming butterflies fluttered to life again from his mere touch. His patient smile overwhelmed her senses. However, she must keep herself composed and not allow him to discover how greatly he affected her. It would only make him pity her more. Even though his smile held the same kindness, the sparkle in his eyes confused her. It held a flicker of undeniable passion that had her averting her gaze. However, her curiosity got the better of her. She glanced back, only to see patience reflected in his eyes. She must’ve been mistaken about Somerville holding any sort of desire for her.
They walked in silence until they reached the drawing room where Lady Whetham had arranged the ceremony to take place. Soft conversation drifted into the hallway, causing Sara to pause. Before she could plead with Somerville to change his mind, Mairi ran toward them and wrapped her arms around Sara’s legs.
“I thought you had left.” Mairi hiccupped between a sob.
Sara knelt to draw Mairi into her arms, running her hand along her hair in a soothing gesture. “Never, my love.”
Sara abandoned all arguments and doubts in the face of Mairi’s reaction to her absence. She couldn’t allow this sweet child to suffer any more loss in her young life. Mairi had thrived since her mother’s death, coming out of her shell. When Sara met the girl, she had wanted to weep at the devastation the mite had suffered. Now the girl and her father welcomed her into their family with open arms. She finally realized she helped to make them whole. Sara only hoped the threats against her never impacted this family. If so, then she would regret speaking her vows to Somerville.
Somerville lifted Mairi into his arms. “Miss Abbott needed a breath of fresh air.”
Mairi frowned. “She is not Miss Abbott anymore, Poppa. She is Momma.”
Somerville threw his head back and laughed at his daughter’s correction. Leave it to his child to simplify their connection to Sara. They were doomed if his daughter couldn’t tug on Sara’s heartstrings with her grand declaration. He tweaked her nose. “Right you are, poppet. But only after she says I do.”
Mairi reached out to touch Sara’s curls. “Tell Poppa I do.”
Sara smiled with fondness at Mairi before bestowing her smile on him. His breath caught at the adoration she held in her gaze. He didn’t know if it was for him or for his daughter. Nor did he care at that point. Only if she continued staring at them in the same manner until the end of time.
“I do.” Sara’s whisper-soft declaration settled in his heart.
Mairi clapped. “Now you are my momma.”
Lady Whetham stepped into the hallway. “Now to make it official.” She held out her arms for Mairi and started walking away with her granddaughter. She glanced over her shoulder and focused her gaze on Sara. “Is all well?”
Sara nodded, and Lady Whetham continued inside the drawing room, leaving Sara alone with Somerville once again. Neither of them spoke. Whether from uncertainty or fear that their wishes would turn to ashes, Sara didn’t know. Only for that spell, the universe granted Sara the comfort of belonging to something grander than she had ever imagined. Her life would change from this moment forward. It was her choice to make it everything she’d ever wanted it to be.
Sara rested her hand on Somerville’s sleeve. “Shall we, Your Grace?”
Somerville would correct Sara later about how he expected her to address him. Preferably when they were alone and he could see her blush when she called him by his Christian name. Right before he claimed her lips in a kiss as husband and wife. For now, her acceptance of speaking their vows relieved his guilty conscience. Once he convinced Sara of his true intentions, he would confess his sins. Until then, he would protect her with his life. She would be his duchess and untouchable.
He dared anyone to defy his protection.
THE WEDDING CEREMONY was a modest affair, involving the Courtlands and the Whethams. Mairi stood between them, holding each of their hands while they spoke their vows. Somerville spoke with a softness that held tender affection, causing Sara to fall deeper under his charming spell. She had expected him to repeat the lines with firm determination. However, he acted as if their wedding resulted from them falling in love, not him offering marriage to keep her protected. While he spoke his vows out of necessity, Sara spoke hers out of love.
The brush of his lips against her cheek once the priest announced them husband and wife still tingled. She caught herself on multiple occasions pressing her hand against the spot he’d kissed, hoping to capture the warmth and spread it into her soul. Each minute that passed since she became Ian’s wife, the Duchess of Somerville, the more flustered she became. Especially when Somerville wandered near her and inquired about her welfare. His display of affection didn’t go unnoticed by her or the guests in the drawing room.
The Whethams had invited a few influential members of the ton for a reception to show their support of the marriage. They wanted to leave no doubt that they accepted Sara into their family. Lady Whetham introduced Sara to the ladies as if she were her own daughter, telling them how blessed they were to have Sara join their family. She spoke her sentiments with genuine heartfelt affection, with not a trace of false malice.
“Is it still warm?” Vivian teased.
Sara blushed. Her fingers drifted away from her cheek to tuck a curl behind her ear. “Yes, it has grown warm with the arrival of more guests.”
Vivian chuckled. She didn’t address Sara’s change of subject. Her friend had endured enough confusion for the day to add to her discomfort. However, she would impart some advice. After all, it was the least a friend could do to a newly married duchess. “I remember when Maximilian first courted me. I would lie awake for hours, reminiscing on our time spent together. Each whispered word where we shared our secrets and dreams. Each soft caress as he guided me around the dance floor. Each stolen kiss. Those moments blossomed into an unforgettable love. One that you will soon share with Somerville if you allow yourself to believe.”
Sara stared at Somerville, who was speaking with his father-in-law. His deep chuckle reached them across the room. She turned toward Vivian. “Is it possible?”
Vivian’s eyes twinkled. “Yes, my dear. Every dream you have ever imagined will come true if you place your faith in your husband. Because he already has with you.”
Sara swung her gaze back to Somerville to see his attention focused on her. If she stared deeply into his eyes, Sara could almost believe Vivian. She turned back to her friend with a wistful smile. “Dreams are all I treasure at the moment.”
Vivian wrapped Sara in a hug. “Congratulations, my friend. I will call on you before we return to Scotland.”
“Thank you for your encouraging support today. I would not have survived without you.”
Vivian smiled. “Nonsense. You are stronger than you believe.”
Sara watched Vivian join her husband as they offered their farewells to Somerville and his in-laws. Once the Courtlands departed, the other guests spoke their goodbyes too. Sara should’ve moved to Somerville’s side and offered her gratitude for their attendance at their wedding reception. However, she stayed behind in the shadows, unsure of her position in Somerville’s life. Did he intend for her to be his wife in full regard? Or was she his wife in name only? The rush of their nuptials left Sara confused with so many unanswered questions.
Once she realized Somerville didn’t need her, she slipped away and climbed the stairs to Mairi’s bedchamber. Mairi had kicked off the blanket, and Sara tugged it around her tiny frame. She brushed Mairi’s hair back and placed a kiss on her forehead. They had allowed her to stay awake past her bedtime to join in the festivities. Once the other guests arrived, a maid had taken Mairi away to prepare for bed. Sara had missed reading Mairi a bedtime story this evening. One she would remedy tomorrow and every night forth. Her marriage provided her a secure position in Mairi’s life.
Sara sat in the rocking chair near the bed and watched over Mairi as she slept. She hoped her marriage to Somerville held no troublesome consequences for the child. She didn’t want father and child to suffer because of her status in society. Her marriage might have elevated her standings, but it would never wipe away the stain of her position in their lives.
Today should’ve been the happiest day of her life, but Sara only held a sadness she struggled to overcome. One she must because she never wanted Somerville to regret his grand offer or for him to see she didn’t appreciate everything he had ever done for her. Because she appreciated him. She only wished today’s events had occurred under different circumstances, ones she had dreamed of since she was a young girl. However, they were only the fanciful dreams of a na?ve miss. Not a governess’s reality.
She closed her eyes and set the chair into motion. The gentle glide of the rocker helped to ease her troubled thoughts. Slowly, the tension seeped away, leaving her with a slight relief from her worries. She brought her hand back up to her cheek, hoping to capture Somerville’s warmth. The memory of his affection twined its way around her heart. If only she could suspend time and lose herself in his attention focused solely on her.
Somerville leaned against the doorjamb to his daughter’s bedchamber. After a loving glance at his sleeping child, he focused his attention on his wife. He’d never expected to refer to another lady with the title, but it fit Sara to perfection. The timid governess was now his. He had seen her sneak away from the reception and wished to follow her by whisking her away to his bedchamber. However, she needed time alone after the day she’d endured.
Also, he didn’t want to frighten her with his eagerness for her to become his wife to the fullest meaning imaginable, an act that needed to wait while he courted her to fall in love with him. It would be a slow courtship for her to accept him as her husband and for her to realize they were a family, one he hoped to grow over the years. It had warmed his heart to find she had sneaked away to be near his daughter.
He stepped forward and winced when the floorboards creaked underneath him. Sara’s eyes flew open, and she clutched at the chair handles. Once she noticed it was him, her hold loosened and her breath rushed out. She offered him a timid smile before averting her gaze. He cringed at frightening her.
“Please forgive me,” Somerville whispered.
Sara rose and whispered, “There is nothing to forgive, Your Grace.”
Sommerville frowned at how Sara addressed him. While he understood she found the transition from his governess to his duchess a trying ordeal, he needed to address her formality. She was under the impression he’d only married her to offer her protection and present a front of a happily married couple to trick the villain who threatened her. But when he declared his vows to her, he’d meant every word, even down to the “till death do us part.” Also, he longed for her to call him Ian.
He offered his arm. “Shall we continue this conversation elsewhere, so as not to awaken Mairi?”
Sara bit at her bottom lip, unsure what else the duke wished to discuss with her this evening. She glanced at Mairi sleeping peacefully, unaware of Sara’s scattered emotions. She wished to hide away in her bedchamber and escape her new reality. However, she couldn’t deny the duke his simple request. Her resistance wasn’t because the duke threatened her under any nature, only because she feared she’d make a fool out of herself by throwing herself at him. His brief kiss after the priest declared them husband and wife had left a resounding impact on her emotions.
She placed her hand on his arm. “Yes, Your Grace.”
Sara gave Somerville a startled glance as he guided them out of Mairi’s bedchamber and led them along the hallway. If she wasn’t mistaken, she’d heard a soft growl from him after she agreed. However, his blank expression disputed that fact. Perhaps she was mistaken. After all, why should it bother him if she addressed him properly? She may be his wife, but that only made her respect him more.
Lost in her thoughts, she neglected to see where he led her. It wasn’t until he released her hold and closed the door that Sara became aware he’d walked them to his bedchamber. When he strode past her to the bar cart in the corner, she took a hesitant step toward the door.
Somerville poured them each a glass of wine. He needed something in his grip to keep himself from drawing Sara into his arms and kissing Your Grace from her lips. He needed to draw on every ounce of patience he could muster or he would show his bride a new side of himself he hadn’t been aware he possessed. Sara stirred emotions in him he hadn’t believed himself capable of. With his first wife, he had found contentment with the gentle lovemaking they shared. However, with Sara, passion flowed through him with the need to ravish her.
He threw back the glass of wine, but it wasn’t strong enough to prevent him from striding across the bedchamber and devouring Sara. With an unsteady hand, he poured himself a glass of whiskey. More than what he usually imbibed but enough to keep him centered. He drank half the glass before he turned back to his wife, who was backing toward the door with a wide stare. In his quest to calm himself, he had somehow frightened Sara. He swiped a hand along his face at his thoughtlessness. While he was a mature gentleman who understood the ways of the world, his bride held a sweet innocence of naivety.
Being alone with him in his bedchamber sent her into shock. Her hand trembled as she reached for the door handle. He had bumbled his attempt to woo her with his demanding nature of expecting everyone to fall along with his requests. It had not been his intent to make Sara uneasy when he led her into his bedchamber. He had only wished to begin his courtship. In his negligence, he hadn’t considered how the scene presented itself. Sara must assume he would demand his husbandly rights, when, in fact, he only wanted to put her at ease and steal a sweet kiss from her luscious lips.
Now, to convince her his intentions were innocent at best.