The Honorable Governess (False Rumors #4)

Chapter Four

S ara awakened to a gentle pat against her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered open to Mairi standing over her, clutching her favorite doll. Her gaze drifted around the room as her disorientation faded away. She had stolen into the child’s bedchamber after she discovered the servants had moved her belongings without her consent. Her only conclusion was that they were now in Somerville’s suite.

Ian.

The very person and room she wished to avoid. Her face grew warm as the memories of the kiss they’d shared rushed forward. She still couldn’t believe how wantonly she had behaved. What must the duke think of her? He surely held regrets once he remembered his behavior in his inebriated state.

She slid upward onto the cot and held out her arms. “Good morning, poppet.”

Mairi jumped into her arms. “Good morning, Momma. Why are you sleeping in my room? Should you not be with Poppa?”

The innocence of the child’s question caught her off guard. While Sara wanted nothing more than to have awakened in Somerville’s arms, she was also realistic. Her fantasies would never come true. Too many obstacles stood between them.

Sara brushed the hair from Mairi’s face. “Do you remember how frightened you were on our first night here? And I slept with you to show how safe you were.”

Mairi nodded.

“Yesterday frightened me with how my life had changed after I married your father and I wanted to sleep with my favorite person to feel safe,” Sara explained.

“Poppa will keep you safe too.”

Sara smiled at Mairi’s unwavering devotion to her father’s abilities. The duke had more than proven his determination to protect her from the evilness haunting her every step. It was the other emotions he stirred to life that frightened her. She feared he might break her heart because he didn’t share the same affection for her as she did him. While she felt honored by his protection, she wished it wasn’t the reason for their marriage. Those thoughts led to her disappointment with herself. She must tamp down her ungratefulness or she would find herself living a miserable existence.

Sara wrapped Mairi in her arms for a hug. “Yes, I believe he will. Now, shall we dress for the day and enjoy breakfast together?”

Mairi hopped off the bed and ran to dress in the outfit Sara had laid out for her. “Hurry, Momma, I heard Poppa go downstairs a little while ago.”

Sara rose off the cot and helped Mairi to dress. She brushed her hair into place and added a ribbon. “Go below and I will join you after I change.”

Sara smiled with fondness as Mairi tore along the hallway like a hellion. She had come so far since she had first met the girl. Once forlorn, she now behaved with the energy of a boisterous child. She must speak with Somerville about Mairi’s care since they were now wed. Sara wanted to continue her duties but understood she must also fulfill the responsibilities of a duchess. However, she wanted Somerville to understand she wished to involve herself in Mairi’s upbringing as much as he would allow.

She left Mairi’s bedchamber and walked along the hallway to Somerville’s suite, where she paused outside the door, unsure of entering without his permission. Granted, she held every right to enter, but it still felt awkward. It was his personal space, and when she entered, the intimacy of their situation would assault her senses with every desire she kept hidden. However, she held no other option since her belongings were mingled with his. She had neglected not noticing her things. Somerville had dominated her attention with his overwhelming presence that left her more enamored of him than ever.

“No need to hesitate, my dear. ‘Tis your bedchamber too. If it is Somerville you wish to avoid, no need. He is belowstairs eating breakfast with Lord Whetham and Mairi.”

Sara swung around with her hand clutched near her bosom, so lost in her thoughts that Lady Whetham had startled her with her appearance. The countess smiled at Sara with kindness and appeared to understand Sara’s awkwardness. Before she could respond, Lady Whetham ushered Sara inside and closed the door behind them. She didn’t hesitate to cross to the wardrobe holding Sara’s clothing. Sara watched the countess with trepidation about what she had planned for her. She didn’t dare contradict or refuse the lady. Especially since the lady had only ever put her at ease and accepted her into Somerville and Mairi’s life without question.

“I believe this will look lovely on you for today’s outing.” Lady Whetham held out Sara’s best dress.

It was a modest dress she wore when her friends invited her to their gatherings. A plain day dress that offered her the ability to blend in without drawing attention to herself. She’d never held enough coin to afford anything elaborate, nor was it her taste to.

“Outing?” Sara squeaked, now aware of Lady Whetham’s intention.

Lady Whetham bustled around the room, gathering clothing for Sara. “I would like you to join me today for tea at Lady Radwell’s. Then I thought we would visit some shoppes in Mayfair to purchase the items for your wardrobe as a duchess. We will stop at my modiste for your measurements and to choose patterns for new dresses.”

Sara stared at the floor in shame at how she disgraced the duke with her meager belongings. She must agree to Lady Whetham’s wishes so as not to embarrass Somerville or his family any more than she already had. She was out of her element on how to respond to the countess’s thoughtful offer. So she stayed quiet, hoping her silence would go unnoticed. However, Lady Whetham was too keen not to notice.

She guided Sara to the settee and sat next to her. Marian needed to tread with careful regard so as not to upset the young lady. However, Sara had much to learn since she was now Somerville’s wife. Marian only wanted to help guide Sara into society with no fanfare or drama. She only suggested today’s outing to introduce her to the friendlier side of the aristocracy. From what Somerville had shared of Sara’s friendships in Scotland, Marian wished to introduce Sara to other ladies with the same endearing characteristics.

Marian placed her hand over Sara’s clutched fists in her lap. “We will not leave today if that is your wish. I only suggested the outing to help ease you into society.”

Sara raised her head at the sincerity in Lady Whetham’s voice. “I do not wish to disgrace you or the duke. I fear I will only embarrass you among your friends, and I have no clue what I need to purchase. Nor do I wish to spend the duke’s money in a foolish fashion.”

“Oh, dear, you will never bring shame to our family. We could not be prouder to call you one of our own. My only thought is to introduce you to like-minded ladies who share the same qualities as your friends. It never hurts to surround yourself with enough friends who would defend your honor if necessary. As for spending Ian’s money, it is your right, my dear, as his wife.” Marian chuckled. “I do not insist on visiting the shoppes because I find fault with you, only because I wish to offer you any guidance you may need.”

Sara ran a hand along her wrinkled skirts. “Your offer is very kind, Lady Whetham.”

“I think we can dispose of Lady Whetham now that you are family. I insist you call me Marian.”

Sara raised her wide gaze to Lady Whetham. “I could not dare.”

Marian’s eyes twinkled. “Why ever not?”

“’Tis most inappropriate, not to mention disrespectful.”

Marian waved her hand in the air. “Nonsense.”

Sara dug her teeth into her bottom lip, unsure if she should ask her next question. However, if she were to be a member of this family, then she needed to understand the reason for Lord and Lady Whetham’s acceptance of her as Somerville’s wife and Mairi’s new mother. “May I ask the reason you welcome me with warmth into your family?”

Marian sighed as she noticed the insecurity Sara suffered. From what she had learned, Sara had lived a simple life raised by her grandmother. She’d learned how to survive on her own after her grandmother passed away. The drama the girl had to endure would’ve changed anyone. However, Sara had kept her gentleness and innocence in the face of her adversity. Most families would’ve felt threatened by someone of Sara’s background infiltrating their family. However, Sara had no ulterior motives. Marian knew her daughter would’ve found comfort in Sara’s appearance in Ian’s and Mairi’s lives. That was reason enough for her and Stuart to accept Sara so warmly into their fold.

“Has Ian ever spoken to you about his marriage to our daughter?”

Sara shook her head.

Marian smiled wistfully. “I will not share the intimate details about the union. It is only fair for Somerville to tell you when he is ready. We arranged the marriage with Ian’s parents before Ian and Claudia were born. We threw them together at every opportunity throughout their lives to prepare them for the fate we arranged for them. They married each other as the best of friends and were compatible in every aspect imaginable. While their love was unique in its own way, it lacked the passion they might have found if we allowed them to find their soulmates on their own.”

Sara blushed at Lady Whetham’s bold declaration and twisted her hands with nervous thoughts. Did the lady suspect Sara’s wanton feelings for the duke? Perhaps she should’ve kept her curiosity to herself.

“Somerville never mentioned the depth of his love for your daughter. But when I arrived, I realized he must have loved her deeply for how her death still affects him.”

“Yes, Claudia’s death left Ian with a grief we feared he would never recover from. However, ever since you entered his life, you have brought him out of his despair and given him a second chance at love. Because of the happiness you have brought to Ian and Mairi, we cannot do anything but accept you into our family. Our daughter would have insisted for us to love you the way Ian and Mairi do.”

“He does not ... I ... We are not ...” Sara stuttered.

Lady Whetham winked at Sara. “Not yet, anyway.”

Sara sat stunned by the reason the Whethams held no qualms about Somerville marrying her. Would they accept her if they knew how she had dreamed of being Somerville’s wife and Mairi’s mother? She stared into Lady Whetham’s eyes and realized the lady already understood the depth of Sara’s feelings for Somerville and she couldn’t be more thrilled. Her acceptance overwhelmed Sara enough for her to reach across and hug Lady Whetham. She pulled back in shock at her affection. However, the lady pulled her back and gave her the comforting hug Sara needed more than she thought.

Lady Whetham pulled away and rose, wiping her eyes. “Now, shall I send in your maid to help you dress? Or would you prefer to stay at home?”

Sara rose and followed Lady Whetham. “No need to send in the maid. If you give me a few minutes, I will make myself presentable to join you. Thank you for the invitation.”

Lady Whetham nodded. “Very well. Take your time and join us in the breakfast room when you are ready.”

After the countess left, Sara wandered toward the bed where Lady Whetham had laid out her attire. Her gaze drifted across the length of the bed where Somerville had slept. A place she should’ve slept too had she not allowed her doubts to keep her away. Was Lady Whetham correct about Somerville’s feelings for her? Did she have the courage to discover for herself? Or would her insecurities keep her from finding love?

Sara rushed to prepare herself for the outing with the countess. She didn’t dare dwell on her thoughts for too long. They would only lead to more questions she was too much of a coward to understand. She would face the dilemma of where to sleep later. Sara understood the need to present to the staff and society that their marriage wasn’t a farce.

Now only to convince her heart.

SARA HOVERED IN THE doorway, not wanting to interrupt the familiar intimacy of Somerville, Mairi, and the Whethams. The interaction between them was one Sara had always imagined for herself. The banter and affection they gave Mairi warmed her heart. She smiled at how Somerville held Mairi on his lap as she ate away at a scone smeared with jam. He never once scowled at Mairi’s sticky mess coming into contact with his clothing. He laughed as he wiped away at a spot that fell on his shirt sleeve. Instead of intruding, she stood back, watching them as an interloper. When she actually wanted to sit next to Somerville and share in the amusement of Mairi.

She stepped back to allow them their moment as a family when Lord Whetham took notice of her in the doorway. “There she is and looks as lovely as ever.”

Sara blushed and lowered her head. “You are too kind, Lord Whetham.”

He rose and offered his arm to escort her to the seat next to Somerville at the table. “Stuart, my dear. There is no need for formalities since we are now family.”

“Exactly what I told her,” Lady Whetham replied.

Sara settled in her seat and offered a shy smile to everyone while the servants poured her tea and set a plate before her. They soon resumed their conversation, leaving her to eat and watch them. While Somerville conversed with his in-laws and answered Mairi’s curious questions, his unwavering gaze stayed focused on her. Warmth settled over Sara, wrapping her in Ian’s adoration.

Each time she met his glance, he gave her a smile that made her blush turn brighter. The smile held a mixture of patience and kindness, with an underlying component of desire. For him to stare at her so blatantly in front of his child and in-laws was a scandal itself. His actions were out of character. That only led Sara to believe either the effects of his overindulgence yesterday still affected him or it was an act to convince the servants and Lord and Lady Whetham their marriage was real. In her confusion, she had no clue how to respond other than to avert her gaze.

Somerville wanted to chuckle at Sara’s reaction to his interest. Except he had no desire to draw attention to her. The blush gracing her cheeks only pushed his desire to the next level and made him wonder if it covered her entire body. Having scandalous thoughts in the company of his family was most inappropriate and unlike him. Sara brought out a side of him he wanted to explore with her. However, his wife wouldn’t find the same amusement in the situation as he did. Wife. Calling Sara his wife held a much more befitting ring than calling her his governess.

“Poppa, when will it snow?” Mairi asked.

Everyone laughed at her question, though none of them had the answer. Mairi had been asking the same question since they arrived, and much to her disappointment, it still hadn’t occurred.

“Maybe if we close our eyes, cross our fingers, and make a wish, it will happen soon.” Sara wiped a smidge of jam off Mairi’s cheek.

“Can we?” Mairi asked, bouncing on Somerville’s lap.

Sara reached out for Mairi’s hand. “Now close your eyes.” She helped Mairi cross her fingers. “Our fingers are crossed. So now we make our wish.”

Sara should’ve wished for the snow to help Mairi’s chances, but her heart wished for the impossible instead. She heard Mairi’s whispered wish for snow when she peeked an eye open to see Somerville’s eyes closed and his lips moving in a wish of his own. Once he finished, he opened his eyes and directed his gaze at her again. However, Sara couldn’t mistake the smoldering glance for more than what it was. Pure desire. The duke’s behavior was more wicked than she imagined.

“Did you make a wish, Poppa?”

Somerville smiled at his daughter. “Yes, poppet. Though I am sorry to disappoint you, but it was not for snow.”

“That is all right.” Mairi patted his cheek with her sticky fingers. “I hope it comes true for you.”

“So do I,” Somerville murmured with a wink at Sara.

Sara glanced away and met Lady Whetham’s amused expression, which only flustered her more. She didn’t dare look in Lord Whetham’s direction when she heard his amused laughter. He would probably wink at her too. An occurrence that happened too much for her comfort today. Instead, she added more sugar than necessary to her tea. Anything to distract her from what she assumed related to her.

Lady Whetham rose and walked to Somerville, lifting Mairi off his lap. “Shall we get you clean for the day, young lady?”

“An excellent idea, Lady Whetham. Then perhaps my granddaughter could read me a story.”

“Silly Grandfather. I cannot read complete books yet.”

“Then you can help me with the more difficult words.”

The Whethams left with Mairi walking between them, holding their hands. Just like Somerville, they never minded their granddaughter’s sticky hands. Their only thought was to spend as much time with her during their visit. The family was a rarity among the aristocracy. While most never allowed their young children to dine with them, they did so at every chance. The Whethams and Sara’s friends showed her a different way of life. It was a refreshing change from the other households she had governed in.

“Did you sleep well?” Somerville murmured, breaking through Sara’s thoughts.

She smoothed the napkin across her lap to keep herself occupied instead of staring deeply into Somerville’s gaze. “Yes.”

Somerville reached across and slipped his palm over her hand. “Do not feel pressured to accompany Marian today. Your entrance into society can wait.”

“I wish to join her today,” Sara whispered.

“Sara.”

Sara raised her gaze. “Yes, Your Grace?”

“Ian,” Somerville insisted. “Say the word and we shall return to Scotland. I do not care for the niceties my mother-in-law insists upon.”

Sara ignored his preference for her to call him by his Christian name. “Lady Whetham’s offer is out of kindness, and she promised none of her plans will overwhelm me. I want to belong in your world with no embarrassment on my part. And in doing so, I must meet your peers and dress accordingly.”

Somerville squeezed Sara’s hand. “There has never been, nor will there ever be, a moment where you will embarrass me.”

The heat searing from his touch warmed the sincerity of his words. His faith in her was the very reason she must join Lady Whetham today. To prove to his family and friends that she was worthy of his praise. She promised to give the new opportunities in her path a chance. To accept her place in the unfamiliar domain that was now her future. Somerville made every attempt to accept her as she was. Now she must return the gesture. She didn’t have to change who she was. She only needed to open herself to fresh possibilities that would enrich her life and those she loved. To do so, she must believe Somerville was sincere in his behavior toward her.

“What are your plans for the day?” Sara hoped Somerville would allow her to change the course of their conversation.

Somerville leaned back in his chair but kept his hand covering hers. He was reluctant to stop touching Sara. Her not pulling away gave him hope that she enjoyed the intimacy as much as he did.

“After some paperwork, I thought I would take Mairi to the park. Perhaps spoil her with a visit to the chocolate shoppe.”

Sara smiled. “She would adore time alone with you.”

“Mmm,” Somerville murmured. He neglected to inform Sara of his entire plan.

Sara withdrew her hands from his and laid her napkin on the table. “I should gather my bonnet and wrap.”

Somerville rose and pulled Sara’s chair back to help her rise. “I hope you have a pleasant day.” Before stepping away, he placed a gentle kiss against her cheek.

Sara gripped the back of the chair to keep herself from melting into a muddled mess. She could only describe Ian’s smile as a lethal weapon to destroy the walls surrounding her heart. She wanted to sway into his arms from the kiss alone. Any reason for him to kiss her as passionately as he had the evening before, a scene that would shock anyone if they were to come upon them.

Instead, she rushed out of the room to put distance between them before she foolhardily embarrassed both of them with her actions. She thought she heard his soft chuckle following her but didn’t dare turn around to find out. Ever since they spoke their wedding vows, Somerville had become a changed gentleman, one who left her unsure how to react and flustered beyond belief.

Or Ian, she should say.

SOMERVILLE CHUCKLED as Sara hurried away. His behavior confused her, but no more than it confused him. He prided himself on his impeccable decorum, but with Sara, she stirred something to life in him that varied between a lighthearted scoundrel and a wicked rake whose only purpose was to seduce her into his bed. He enjoyed teasing her until her cheeks bloomed like a red rose and desire flared in her eyes. It was then that he realized he wasn’t the only one who held curiosity about where their marriage might lead.

“Should I be worried about your intentions for the dear girl?” Lady Whetham interrupted his musings.

Somerville smirked. “I have no idea what you refer to.”

Lady Whetham shook her head with a hint of a smile. “You are forgetting, my dear boy, how I have known you your entire life. Do not charm me with your innocence.”

“I am wounded by your accusation.”

Lady Whetham rolled her eyes. “What is the term you Scottish utter? Bollocks.”

Somerville gasped in amusement. “Why, Lady Whetham, how improper of you. Perhaps my wife’s past profession as a governess will rub off on you while she keeps you company today. It is obvious you need her influence more than she needs yours.”

Lady Whetham swatted his arm with her reticule. “You are still an impish lad who is as incorrigible as ever.”

Somerville bowed toward Lady Whetham. “I only have the best of intentions for Sara.”

“See that you do.” She paused in the doorway. “I am pleased to see you returning to your old self. We have missed you.”

His mother-in-law strolled away without waiting for his response. He had withdrawn after Claudia’s death and, as a result, hadn’t been there for his in-laws, leaving them to suffer alone with their grief. He suffered from guilt since they were like parents to him. After his parents died, they had stepped in and offered him the same guidance, love, and support his own would have. However, he had neglected them when they needed him the most. He hoped their visit would heal the sorrow between them.

As for his intentions for Sara, he hoped to make her his bride in every sense.