The Hookup Situation (Colorado Springs University #2)

Chapter 9

NINE

JACKSON

Two days later I’m sending a text to my mom about Thanksgiving because I still haven't heard anything from her about a flight home. I wish I could be as eager as all of my friends are about going home. Lucy, Rory, Preston, Colby, Jeremy, everyone I know is counting down the days until they can see their families again and I’m dreading it, because I don’t know if I can handle one more year of being ignored.

I could just stay here, but I keep holding out hope that maybe this year will be the year that changes and they’re excited and happy to see me, and can’t stop asking questions about school and friends, and if I’ve met anyone special. Maybe this will be the year they see how absent they have been my entire life and tell me what a mistake they’ve made and how they want to do better.

I should really just tell Rory and Lucy everything and save myself the disappointment of going home to people who don’t give a rat's ass whether I show up or not. I know either of them would love to bring me home with them, but I just can’t bring myself to tell them how bothered I am by my parents’ behavior and how much it hurts me. I’d either have them feeling sorry for me, or sounding like a whiny brat who doesn’t get enough of mommy and daddy's attention.

While I’m waiting for Mom to respond, which could take anywhere from a couple of minutes to a couple of days, I get a text from Lucy.

Lucy: Hey, I know you must be swamped with school work and play practice with opening night coming up, but I haven’t seen you in a week and I'm having Jackson withdrawal. Sad face emoji. Come hang with me tonight? We can paint our nails and do face masks and watch shitty tv.

Me: That sounds fun. I miss you, too. I have rehearsal tonight and i have no idea how long it will last but I can text you when I’m finished

Lucy: You better, kissy face emoji

Me: Rory coming?

Lucy: No, he can’t make it. He has a group project he’s working on tonight

I’m about to put my phone back in my pocket when it dings again and I see it’s a message from Mom.

Mom: Sorry honey we’ve been swamped and I just haven’t had time to look into flights yet. Go ahead and get whatever ticket you want and put it on our card.

I sigh and try to ignore the ache in my chest as I tuck my phone back in my pocket and head out the door to class.

I’m exhausted when play practice finally ends around ten pm that night. Last week we were spending our time going through the entire show without costumes and makeup so the tech team could learn their cues for light and scene changes, and this week we’re going through the entire show with costumes and makeup. Dress rehearsal, in other words, and I’ve got to change and take off my makeup before I head over to Lucy’s.

I’m in the dressing room removing my makeup, still dressed in my corset, tights, heels, gloves, and pearls when I get a Grindr notification.

Curious2002: You like to go running, right?

Theaterslut: Yeah

Why on earth do I have a big ass smile on my face just from this brief exchange? He’s said five words to me and the butterflies in my stomach are running rampant again.

Curious2002: Wanna go running with me tomorrow morning before class?

Theaterslut: You run?

Curious2002: We’ll find out

I laugh.

Curious2002: I miss you

My breath hitches. I read it again. I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way it sounds.

Theaterslut: My dick you mean, or my hand on your ass?

Curious2002: That too, but I mean you, just being with you. You don’t wanna hang out tonight do you?

I swallow and my heart slams against my rib cage. He misses me? Not my body, or the pleasure I can bring him, but me? Do I want to hang out? Hell, yes, but I already made plans with Lucy and I do want to see her, and at least I can do that without beating myself up for it. I’m not supposed to be hanging out with Preston at all, and I went and broke that rule once already.

Theaterslut: Can’t sorry, I made plans. Then for some reason, even though I don’t owe him any sort of explanation I add, with a friend, not another guy. Just in case you’re wondering

Curious2002: Aww, you like my ass too much to go looking for another one, huh Tinkerbell?

He’s not wrong, but jeez, the smug bastard. And here I was worried about hurting his feelings.

Theaterslut: Shut up, you arrogant slut

Curious2002: Laughing emoji

Theaterslut: What time tomorrow?

Curious2002: 8 am? I have class at 11

Theaterslut: Same, though I usually run in the afternoon so I don’t have to get up at the ass crack of dawn.

Curious2002: Lol, It’s cool if you wanna sleep in. I wouldn’t blame you. I’m busy in the afternoon

Theaterslut: No, I want to go. Jesus fuck. Way to go, Jackson. Just wave the white flag, because I can’t say no apparently. I don’t want to say no. Shit, I’m in deep. I’m getting up at the ass crack of dawn to go running in the dead of winter when I could be in a nice warm bed, getting an extra hour of sleep. What the hell is wrong with me?

Curious2002: Smiley face emoji, is it cool if you meet me here? I thought we could run down to the park by the elementary school and take the path around the lake?

Theaterslut: See you then, doll

I put my phone away and finish removing my makeup before changing out of my costume and texting Lucy to tell her I’m on my way. Despite my fatigue, I’m eager to see her and just hang out. It feels like it’s been way too long since I’ve done that.

She must realize how haggard I am when I arrive, because I never go out of the house without makeup on. But after taking the stage makeup off, I would have had to go back home to put my own on and then head to her place, and that sounded exhausting so I just came straight here.

“Oh, honey,” she says as I step inside. “You’re sure you are up for this? You look exhausted. I can’t remember the last time I saw you without eyeshadow on.” I hear laughing and dishes clinking coming from the kitchen and assume it’s her roommates.

“I’m fine,” I tell her. She raises an eyebrow as she closes the door.

I chuckle softly. “Okay, yes, I’m tired, but I want to spend time with you. I need this.”

She gives a soft smile. “Okay. I guess it works out if we’re doing face masks. You would have had to take your makeup off anyway.” I’m not wearing my earrings either, or any of my jewelry because I took them off before going to dress rehearsal, along with my makeup, so they’re safely back at my apartment. I feel naked without all of it, though.

I hang my coat up and kick my boots off, then follow her into the bathroom where we apply our face masks and Lucy takes a selfie of us, our lips puckered. We set a timer for fifteen minutes and then head to the kitchen for a snack.

“Ooh, Jackson, looking good,” Lucy’s roommate Sophia says. This isn’t anything new to them. Lucy and I do this at least once a month. We always invite Rory but it’s not his thing. He will paint his nails and watch trashy TV with us though.

“Shit, you look so different without all your jewelry,” Gwen comments as she stares at me like I’ve got two heads. “I mean, you don’t look bad at all, just different.”

I smirk at her and she blushes. “Okay, I’m gonna go hide now,” she murmurs and Lucy and I laugh as she and Sophia scamper away with their own snacks in hand.

Lucy asks me how the play is going and if I’m excited or nervous for opening night. Both, of course, but more excited, I tell her.

Her smile is wide when she tells me she can’t wait to see me in it and has tickets to all four performances. I chuckle and shake my head.

“I wanna see you in that outfit,” she says, grinning like an idiot, and I can't help flushing. “You are gonna look sexy as fuck.”

I can’t help wondering what Preston would think to see me in it. Would he like it? Love it? Hate it? I can’t imagine him hating it after how excited he gets at seeing me in panties. The guy is a fucking panty slut.

“Hello?” Lucy says, and I blink. “Where were you?”

“Nowhere,” I say, and bite my lip. “Sorry.”

“Uh huh.” She takes a sip of her hot chocolate, clearly not convinced, but not pressing the issue either. “Your parents aren’t coming?” she asks as she takes a seat on the sofa.

I feel a tension headache coming on, and my shoulders are tight as I grip my own drink harder than I was a second ago. “No, but it’s okay. It’s a lot to expect them to fly all the way here for a play, and I’ll see them in a couple of weeks anyway.”

She frowns but then takes another sip of her drink. She’s dressed in bright pink lounge pants from Victoria’s Secret and a cropped shirt with a sleeping koala bear on the front. Her dark curls are up in a ponytail.

I ask her how classes are going and if she’s seeing anyone. She smiles but shakes her head. “Nothing serious,” she says, but she’s blushing now, and I smile.

“Really?” I say, nudging her with my foot. “What about that girl I saw you with at the club, and the Halloween party? She was cute. Merida, right?”

She grins wider and her flush deepens. “Yeah, she was cute.”

“You seen her since then?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay, keep your secrets,” I tease, as if I’m not harboring a giant ass secret of my own. She seems happy, though, and that makes me smile. Lucy deserves all the good things. Both of my best friends do.

We remove our face masks when the timer goes off, rinse, and apply moisturizer, then proceed to paint our nails. Mine are black and Lucy’s are red with glitter. We watch Love Island as we snuggle on the sofa, and I make myself go home two hours later before I pass out on her couch.

“Love you, Jax,” she tells me at the door, and I kiss her cheek.

“Love you, too, babe.”

“Hey,” she calls, as I’m heading to my car. I turn back. “You know you can talk to me, if you need anything. I’m always here, and so is Rory. I know we’re busy but you come before anything else. Or anyone else. You know that.”

My chest constricts and I have to hold my tears back. I manage a small smile. “I know. Goodnight, Luc.”

“Goodnight,” she says, and shuts the door.

PRESTON

“Woah, what the hell are you doing up at the ass crack of dawn?” I hear as I stumble into the kitchen the next morning in my running clothes — a moisture-wicking long-sleeved shirt, a hoodie on over that, joggers and socks. I’ll put my gloves, hat and jacket on before I leave.

“Why does everyone keep calling it that?” I mumble as I pour myself some coffee. “Dawn is at like, seven, not eight. And why are you so shocked?”

Chris blinks at me. “Um, maybe because I’ve never known you to wake up before nine in your life, except for last year fall semester when I had to drag you out of bed every morning so you didn’t fucking fail your nine am class.” He takes a sip of his coffee and stares at me.

“Whatever,” I grumble. “I’m going running.”

“With coffee shop guy?”

I flush. “Why can’t I be going by myself, just for the sake of exercise and self care?”

He snorts.

“All right, fine, yes, with coffee shop guy.”

He nods. “Better get moving then.”

I look at the clock. Jackson will be here in twenty minutes.

“Want me to make you some eggs?”

I blink at my best friend. I haven’t seen him much lately because I’ve been spending so many of my evenings with Jackson, and our schedules don’t line up so we’re always home at different times. He likes to make himself scarce whenever Jackson is here, too. I guess he just doesn’t like hearing me get fucked, which I can’t really blame him for because I don’t think I’d want to hear him fucking someone else either, though we’ve had bed partners here at the same time before, but maybe it’s weirder for him when I’m with a dude? I don’t know, but him offering to make my breakfast so I can go running with someone else is really sweet, and it’s making me realize how much I miss spending time with my best friend. It’s only been a little over a week since we went to the Halloween party together, but it feels longer than that, especially when I think about how much more I’ve come to know Jackson since then and everything that’s happened.

“That would be amazing. Thank you.”

He gives me a soft smile and heads for the fridge. I clear my throat. “Hey, you know you don’t have to leave when I have someone over, right?”

He moves to the oven with the carton of eggs. “Yeah, I know. I think you guys need some privacy though. It’s fine.”

“But it’s your home, too. I don’t want you to be out late and not sleeping because we’re fucking at 2 am and you don’t feel like you can come home. Shit, I just realized what an asshole of a friend I’ve been lately. I didn’t even think of that. I’m really sorry. If you want to go to bed just tell me and I’ll make him leave, or we can both leave, or whatever.”

His eyes are soft when he looks at me. “Preston, shut up. I’m fine. You guys are fine. I will let you know if something needs to change, but it’s good right now. I want you to be happy, and he makes you happy, right?”

“Um, yeah, I guess he does. I mean, I don’t know what’s gonna happen long term, or anything, but…” God, I have to bite my lip to keep from grinning like an idiot thinking about Jackson.

He gestures to the cupboards. “Grab a plate.”

I do and he slides the eggs onto it. “Eat up,” he says, then slaps me on the shoulder. “I’m gonna shower and then I’m heading out.”

“Hey,” I catch him before he walks away. “You haven’t said anything to Parker or Blake about him, have you?”

“No, dude, that’s your thing to tell, not mine.”

“Thank you. Please don’t say anything to anyone about him. Especially not Parker or Blake. We’re trying to keep it kind of hush hush right now.”

“Of course.”

I nod and scarf down the sunny side up eggs on my plate before rinsing it off and putting it in the dishwasher. Then I drink some water and use the bathroom. I’m coming out of the bathroom when Chris is leaving, and when he opens the door he is startled before he says, “Oh, hi, you’re here for Preston.”

“Yeah,” I hear, in Jackson’s deep rumble.

“Come on in. I’m Chris, his roommate, but I’m leaving.”

“Thanks,” Jackson says, stepping inside.

“See you in class,” Chris calls to me, and then heads out.

Jackson turns and sees me, and I smile. He looks good in black leggings and a gray hoodie with a black jacket over top. A fleece headband covers his ears. I grab my hat and put it on before sliding into my shoes and grabbing my jacket.

“Ready?” he asks, and I nod. I want to kiss him, but maybe that’s weird? I refrain and grab my keys.

“Ready.”

“Just a head’s up, it’s colder than a witches tit out there,” Jackson says with absolute seriousness and I can’t help laughing.

“Shut up,” he says, and I can see the smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “I’m from California, okay? I’m still not used to this winter shit.”

I chuckle as he follows me out into the hallway and down the stairs.

“We could have taken the elevator, you know,” he remarks.

“What’s the matter, afraid to get a little sweaty?” I chide him.

He narrows his eyes at me. “Okay, volleyball prodigy, let’s see if you can keep up with me.”

“Are you saying you think you’re faster than I am?”

He grins. “Let’s find out.” He steps closer and grips my coat, leaning in to whisper in my ear. “Loser blows the winner. You want me on my knees for you, doll?”

Shit. A shiver races down my spine that has nothing to do with the cold.

Then he takes off, and I chase after him.

We head north towards the park and I keep up with him pretty well, though I’m starting to think he’s going slower than he usually does for my sake. I haven’t done long distance running in ages. I think I was in high school, and even though I’m in shape, this is no picnic.

It’s about a mile run to get to the park and another two and a half miles around the frozen lake. I groan, realizing that this whole thing was my idea.

There’s a playground, a tennis court, a basketball court, pavilions with picnic benches inside and more benches scattered about, covered in snow. The trees along the winding pathway are covered in frost and shimmer in the morning sunlight. It’s beautiful.

I can see my breath in front of me as we run, my lungs burning and my legs aching. Jackson is moving like he’s born to do this and I find myself falling behind halfway around the lake. I’m still moving but Jackson is several feet in front of me.

I stop, panting, hands on my knees. He looks back at me and grins before prancing over like he’s a fucking gazelle and this is the best thing he’s ever done. I swear he’s not even sweating. I hate him.

“How’s it going?” he says with a twinkle in his eyes.

I groan and trudge over to the snowy grass, collapsing and lying spread eagle on the ground. The snow is about three inches deep and seeps through my pants but I don’t move. It honestly feels good against my heated skin.

“It’s really nice down here,” I pant. He laughs and moves closer to me, stopping in front of me, hands on his hips.

“Come on, get up.”

I shake my head. “Nope. I quit. You keep going. Save yourself.” I wave my hand and motion for him to leave me.

He laughs again and crouches in the snow, holding his hand out. “What if I promise to blow you if you just finish?”

My dick perks up at that. “Okay,” I agree and take his hand. But instead of letting him pull me to my feet, I yank and bring him down on top of me. He lands with an “oof”, and barely has time to think before I shove a handful of ice cold snow in his face.

“You did not just do that,” he says, pushing himself up on all fours and going for a handful of his own snow, trying to return the favor. But I grab his wrist and we roll so that I’m on top of him now, my hands gripping his wrists, pinning him down while I straddle his hips. He looks at me in a way that makes me let my guard down and I loosen my grip just enough for him to get away and roll us again, then shove the snow in my face, just before I put him on his back one more time.

We’re both breathing heavily as I gaze at him underneath me, arms pinned above his head again.

“You attacked me,” I say, as his eyes darken.

“You attacked me first,” he replies, voice thick with arousal. I move against him and feel his hard dick rub against mine.

“I did,” I admit. “You had it coming.”

“For being faster than you?” he says, a gleam in his eyes.

“Pretty much.” His gaze falls to my lips and I lower my mouth to his, his hips undulating as our tongues tangle. The sounds he makes while he kisses me are making my dick throb.

“Fuck,” I groan, pulling away. His pupils are blown wide and his face is more flushed now than it was when he was running.

“Let’s get back to your place,” he rasps. “Now.”

I grin. Hell yes.

Jackson has me backed against the wall as soon as the apartment door is closed, his cold body pressed against mine as he kisses me and tries to undress me at the same time. He pulls off my hat and grips my hair as he fondles me through my pants. I moan and thrust into his hand.

“Have I told you that you drive me insane?” he says as he strokes me and I whimper.

“Please,” I beg, not even sure what I’m asking for, just desperate for him to touch me, use me, fuck me.

He kisses me savagely for another moment, making my dick throb and my head spin, before he pulls away, still gripping my hair, and snarls, “Shower. Now.”

I strip faster than I ever thought possible, and Jackson follows me as I make my way down the hall to the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind me.

By the time I get into the bathroom I’m wearing only my boxer briefs and Jackson is in a bright blue bikini that makes my mouth water. “Why are you always about to take those off every time I see them?” I complain, my breaths heavy. “I never get to enjoy them on you.”

He smirks and moves his hips seductively as he grips the waistband of his bikinis and tugs them down, letting them pool around his feet, his dick bouncing free. My asshole flutters at the sight and I groan as he takes it in his hand and strokes himself.

“Okay, that’s pretty hot, too,” I admit.

“You want this, doll?” he asks, sashaying closer to me. I swallow and nod. He raises an eyebrow.

“Yes,” I breathe. He grips my hair again and leans in, whispering in my ear as his dick brushes against mine, making me gasp.

“Then get in the fucking shower.”

My underwear are on the bathroom floor in a heartbeat and Jackson follows me as I step inside the shower and turn on the water. It’s cold at first but I barely notice as we make out, me plastered against the tile wall and Jackson devouring me. My cock is twitching and leaking as he tongue fucks my mouth, drawing out all my needy moans and whimpers. God, his kisses are addictive. Everything about him is addictive.

He’s moaning into my mouth when I take our cocks in my hand and stroke them. Oh, fuck, yes. He presses even closer into me and tilts my head back, shoving his tongue even further down my throat. God, how have we never had shower sex before? The feel of the water raining down on us and his slick wet skin against mine is everything.

We make out and frot until we’re both on the edge of coming, and then he steps back and bats at my hand. I move it and he sinks to his knees.

“Holy fucking shit.” It’s even better than my fantasy. The sight of him, that smooth pale skin, raven hair plastered to his head, sapphire eyes locked with mine, all that jewelry glimmering, the rings decorating his fingers that are wrapped around my cock, it’s all so fucking perfect.

He smirks at me and then leans in and presses a kiss to the head of my very hard dick. Shit, why is that so hot? My breathing is heavier as he presses kiss after kiss along my shaft, working his way down, my cock twitching each and every time, precum leaking out as I grip his hair and try to keep from nutting right here and now.

“Oh, fuck, that’s good,” I mumble. “Shit, Jax.”

He reaches my balls and nuzzles them and I whimper. Then he’s working his way back up my shaft, lavishing me in more soft kisses until I’m fucking ready to scream.

“Jax,” I moan. “Please.” I see the smile that curves his lips as he presses one more kiss to the tip of my cock, my precum glistening on his lips. He darts his tongue out and licks it and I have to grab my cock to keep from coming.

He peels my hand away from my shaft and licks a stripe up my cock, before taking me down his throat in one swift movement.

“Shit!” I cry out, fisting my hand in his hair again as he deepthroats me. My body is trembling as he bobs up and down on my shaft, that warm, wet mouth driving me insane. He pulls back, popping off before sliding his tongue in my slit and making me cry out. “Oh, fuck!”

Then he’s taking me deep again and moaning around my cock like it’s the best fucking thing he’s ever had in his mouth, and I fucking lose it. “Jax!” I yell, and shoot down his throat, my dick spasming as my release fills his mouth.

He takes everything I give him and then pops off me, standing and slotting his mouth with mine, feeding me my own cum. I whimper as I taste myself on him. I just came, but my ass is thrumming, aching to be filled, to be used. I want his wicked hands on me. I want to be hard all over again because of his touch.

“Spank me,” I beg. “Please, Jax. I need it.”

He growls and grips my chin in his hand, kissing me harder. My dick is rallying back to life already when he pulls away. “You remember your safeword?”

“Yes.”

“Turn around, beautiful.”

I hurry to obey, jutting my ass out for him. It takes him a second, and when his hand smooths over my ass cheek, before gripping and squeezing, I realize it’s because he removed his rings. Somehow that makes me want him more because I know that even though he’s horny and desperate, he’s taking care of me, just like he always does.

A shiver races down my spine when his lips brush my naked skin. He plants kisses on my upper back as he kneads my ass cheek in one hand, the other hand gripping my hip, his slender cock pressed against my ass crack. God, that’s good.

“Oh, shit, Jax,” I murmur, my hands flat against the tiled wall as he tortures me, pleasures me, wrecks me.

He hums as he kisses down my back, moving his hand from my hip and gripping both ass cheeks in his hands, a growl leaving his lips as he sinks to his knees once again. Fuck, yes.

“Beg me,” he rasps.

“Fuck,” I whine. I’m so incredibly desperate that tears start to fill my eyes. “I need you,” I whimper. “Fuck, Jax, please, I need your mouth on my hole. I want you to eat me out and then spank me until I’m coming for you again. I want it so bad.”

He snarls and then bites at my ass cheeks. “You beg so good for me, gorgeous.” More bites and licks. “So fucking desperate.” More kisses. “Want me to wreck you, doll?” He sucks and nibbles and I squirm, shaking, tears sliding down my cheeks.

“Yes,” I say. I’m practically sobbing when he spreads my cheeks and slides his tongue over my pucker. “God, yes. More.”

He pulls back and bites me hard. I yelp. “Please?” I say, and he hums, then buries his face in my ass again, licking, nibbling, and sucking until I’m a shaking, whining mess.

“Jax,” I gasp, and he stops, standing and plastering himself to my back, his dick pressed against me as he murmurs in my ear.

“You’re so fucking pretty when you cry, beautiful.” Then he’s stepping back and a second later my ass is stinging from the impact of his hand on me. It’s so fucking good I’m sobbing and my dick is so hard it hurts. He keeps going, every swat driving me closer and closer to that perfect bliss.

“Come for me,” he orders just before his hand lands on me for the tenth time. My body shudders as my cock pulses, untouched, and I spray my release all over the shower wall. Then he’s plastered against me again, his arm wrapped around me as he uses me to get himself off. He slides his hard, wet, dick against my ass crack, thrusting faster and faster, his fingers digging into my hip and my torso.

He cries out as his cock pulses his sticky warm release all over my backside. Holy shit, that was incredible.

“Fuck,” I breathe as he clings to me, his forehead resting on my upper back. I grip his arm that’s still wrapped around me, feeling like somehow we connected more this time than others, though all my times with him have been amazing in their own way. I feel his warm breath against my skin as I bring his fingers to my lips and kiss them. He shudders against me, and pulls away.

“Let’s get you cleaned off, and then we need to put some lotion on your ass,” he says, whatever moment we shared just now gone.

I nod and we wash quickly. After drying off we move down the hall to my room and shut the door. I lie on my stomach while he smooths lotion over my ass cheeks. He’s quiet the entire time, and I wonder what he’s thinking.

“Can I come to your show?” I blurt, and his eyes meet mine.

“Do you want to?”

“Fuck, yeah.”

A small smile graces his lips. “It’s a free country, doll.”

I grin. “Glad you don’t mind cause I already got tickets.”

“Tickets?” he repeats. “More than one?”

“Two. One for me and one for my roommate. He really loves The Rocky Horror Picture Show and scolded me for never having seen it before so I’m taking him to make up for it. Still have to watch the movie though, so I know what I’m getting into.”

He smiles again.

“You wanna borrow something of mine since your clothes are wet?” I ask, and he hesitates before nodding. I noticed he doesn’t have his eye makeup running down his face so it must be waterproof. The eyeshadow has smudged some but it doesn’t look too bad. His hair is wild, and I kind of love it.

When he’s finished with the lotion I slide on clean boxer briefs and then head down the hall to grab his panties. Just holding them in my hand is making my cock perk up again.

I bring them to him, along with his rings, and he gives me that sexy smirk before sliding everything on. Then I grab some sweats and a T-shirt for him to slip into. They’re baggy on him but they work.

“I’d offer to take you to campus but I assume you’re going home first?” I say, as we dress.

He nods. “I should throw my wet clothes in the wash and I need a few minutes to make myself beautiful.”

“From where I’m standing you already are.”

He meets my gaze and I wish I knew what he was thinking. His eyes are filled with something I can’t quite place. He moves towards me and slides his hand around to the back of my neck, before he kisses me, slow and deep.

“See you later, doll,” he murmurs against my lips. He gives me one more kiss before he walks away.