The Hookup Situation (Colorado Springs University #2)

Chapter 13

THIRTEEN

PRESTON

Waking up the next morning with Jackson in my arms is the best feeling in the world. I honestly didn’t expect him to stay, though he seemed like he wanted to, but was waging some sort of internal battle with himself over it. It’s almost like he’s afraid to let himself be happy. And it makes my heart ache, because he deserves all the happiness.

I nuzzle his neck with my nose, before pressing kisses to his skin. My hand snakes under the shirt of mine he’s wearing, which has ridden up some in the night, bunching up around his waist. My fingers trace over his flat stomach and he squirms against me, brushing his sexy ass over my morning wood.

“Mmm,” he murmurs, eyes still closed. “You’re hard.”

I hum. “You would be too if you were this close to you.”

He laughs and grips my hand, moving it down to rest on his crotch over his panties. “Mmmm,” I hum again, my dick getting that much harder as I palm his erection through the lace material. Somehow this is even more erotic than his dick being bare in my hand. I love how he responds to the glide of the lace over his cock. He humps my hand and presses back against my dick. “You wanna get off with me again, Tinkerbell?”

“Shut up and move,” he commands. “Don’t you dare stop until I’m spilling all over.”

I groan and grip him harder, stroking him faster as I thrust my hips against his ass. He reaches back and grips my thigh as he gyrates against me in turn.

“God, why does your hand feel so good?” he groans, his voice a deep sexy rumble in the morning.

“Same reason your ass feels so good, baby,” I reply. “It’s you.”

“Nnnggg,” he moans. “Oh, shit, Pres, I’m gonna come.”

“Hell, yeah, Tinkerbell. Fill these panties for me.”

My own orgasm barrels up on me and we cry out at the same time, as our spunk fills our underwear. I press kisses to his neck and shoulder as we breathe heavily.

“Looks like I’ll be going home commando again,” he says, and I chuckle.

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” I ask, and he turns to face me.

“Why?”

I stroke my fingers through his hair. I love how wild it is in the mornings. “If you don’t have plans I’d love for you to come home with me. It’s about a two hour drive to Fort Collins.” I wonder if he’s going home or not, because I get the feeling he’s not close to his parents, and I hate the idea of him being here alone. Besides that, the thought of being apart from him for a whole week makes my chest ache. I’d miss him like crazy.

He stares at me for a second.

“I should tell you though, I told my mom about seeing you in the coffee shop, and being curious. I’ve been pretty vague on the phone, so theoretically she doesn’t know that I’ve fucked you or that you’re the one I’d be bringing home if you decide to come, but they’re not dumb, so…”

“So they’ll probably know anyway,” he finishes for me. I nod. He bites his lip. “I uh…I don’t know.”

“Think about it,” I say, and kiss him again. “Shower with me?”

He nods and we climb out of bed. After showering I feed him eggs, bacon and coffee, and then he heads home so he can change before his classes start.

We don’t see each other that night, and the following evening is the party at Parker and Rory’s, but we’ve got a few hours between our last classes and then, so Jackson tells me he’ll come over beforehand and then leave so he can get ready and we’ll show up at the party separately.

I’m so fucking ready to go home for break and see my family, and Mom has promised to wait for me so I can be there to help with the tree. I want to see them so badly. I want to eat amazing food and sit around the fireplace with hot cocoa and pick on Paris. I want to hear Dad laugh and smell Mom’s cookies in the oven. I’m still hoping Jackson will decide to come with me. He hasn’t said anything yet and I leave tomorrow morning. I kinda sprung it on him at the last minute, but in my defense I was distracted by amazing sex.

Speaking of which, I’m currently sitting on my bed naked, my hands cuffed behind me as Jackson kneels between my splayed thighs and presses kisses to my engorged cock. I’m so fucking hard and he’s torturing me, the evil bastard. I’ve been leaking for the past ten minutes as he kisses and licks and sucks on just the head, drawing out my pleasure and making me whine like a fucking whore.

I gasp as he circles my head with his tongue, then shudder when he slides the tip of his tongue into my slit. “Oh fuck.” I want to touch him so badly but I can’t. All I can do is sit here and take what he gives me, gasping and moaning.

“You sound so good when you’re desperate for me,” he murmurs, pressing kisses to my jaw and neck, sucking on the skin there. I find myself tilting my head back to grant him access, and he sucks harder, making my dick jerk.

“Mmmm, yes,” he rumbles, then glides a single finger up and down my shaft as he continues to press kisses to my neck, nibbling and sucking. He collects some of my precum and spreads it along my lips before he leans in and licks it off, and I whimper. “Love watching you fall apart for me, doll. How does it feel knowing you can’t come unless I make you?” More torturous kisses to my neck. “Knowing you can’t touch yourself. Only I can. I control your pleasure.”

Oh, shit, how am I getting harder and harder hearing him say those things, my dick leaking like a sieve. I might be able to come just from the fucking filth pouring out of his mouth. “I love it,” I admit, in almost a wail, tears filling my eyes. “God, I love it, Jax.”

“I know you do, beautiful,” he says, then sucks and nibbles on my ear as he grips my dick in his hand and strokes me.

“Ahhh,” I cry out at the sensation, my dick so sensitive now, so ready to come. He grips my hair in his other hand and presses his lips to mine as he strokes me. My moans get louder and more and more desperate as my balls draw up.

His grip on my hair tightens. I know what he wants. He loves when I come with his tongue down my throat, whimpering and moaning into his mouth, and I give it to him, my cock pulsing and spraying my release all over his hand.

“Fuck, yes,” he growls, then uses my spunk as lube to jerk himself off. It’s so damn hot, and a second later he’s howling his release as his cum covers my chest and abdomen. Then he releases me from the handcuffs and sits in my lap, and we make out for a while before we clean off with the wipes in the nightstand. Then I’m falling onto my back and taking him with me, holding him close.

When I wake it’s to Jackson’s cry of “Oh, shit!” His warm body leaves mine and I groan, opening my eyes. “Get up,” he says, as he searches the floor for his clothes. He sounds frantic, and pissed. “The party started twenty minutes ago. We’re late.”

“Crap,” I say and hustle out of bed, grabbing my own clothes. We dress as quickly as we can and then dart out the door and to our cars.

But when we get down to the parking lot, Jackson’s car is buried under a mountain of snow along with several other cars in the lot, and the snow is still coming down. Mine is safe since it’s in the car port.

“Shit,” he curses, stomping his foot and running his fingers through his hair.

“What are you doing?” I ask, when he pulls out his phone.

“Trying to get an uber.”

“That might be a challenge with all the snow. They’re probably slammed.”

He taps on his phone and then curses again before he shoves it back in his pocket.

“Look, it’s no big deal. You can ride with me,” I tell him.

He shakes his head. “Better to just not go. It’ll make it easier all around. We won’t have to worry about how we’re behaving around each other.”

“What? No, that’s silly. Both of us staying behind won’t do any good, and you deserve to go. It won’t be a big deal if we show up together. There’ll be so many people there, they probably won’t even notice, or care. And you told Rory you would be there.”

He sighs. “Fine.”

He’s fidgety the entire way there, his leg bouncing up and down as he stares out the window. When we arrive I turn to him. “You want me to wait here for a bit while you go up?”

He looks so stressed, and I hate it. I wish I knew why it was so important to him that no one finds out about us. Us just being fuck buddies isn’t convincing me.

“No. That might look even weirder if someone noticed, like we’re trying to hide something. Let’s just go and hope it doesn’t blow up in our faces.”

We make our way inside and up the stairs. “Look, if anyone asks, we just ran into each other on the way up, okay?” he says, and I nod.

Rory opens the door when we knock and gives Jackson a big hug, his smile wide. “Come in,” he says, “I’m so glad you’re here. Did you two come together?”

“We ran into each other in the hallway,” we both say at the exact same time, and he looks from me to Jackson, blinking.

“Oh, well, there’s lots of yummy snacks in the kitchen, and drinks. Parker made his famous chocolate chip cookies, but you better hurry because I think Lucy is eating them by the handful.”

Jackson gives his friend a smile and heads further into the house. And I guess this is where we pretend like we don’t know each other, or at least not very well.

I say hi to Parker and Chris, who is also here, of course. There’s several people I don’t recognize, some that are friends of Rory’s I’m sure, and probably a few of Parker’s friends I haven’t met, along with Blake and his girlfriend, Sarah.

I move into the kitchen to get some snacks because I’m fucking starving, and when I make my way back out to the living area, plate piled high with sweets, chips, and cheese and crackers, Jackson is talking to Parker. I assume they've met before since Jackson is Rory's best friend. Whatever Parker is telling him is making him laugh, and though I try my best not to, I can’t stop watching him.

I talk with Chris, and Blake, and Parker, and introduce myself to Lucy, telling her I’m a friend of Parker’s and asking how she knows Rory, because letting her know I’ve seen her around with Jackson would be giving too much away. But no matter where I am in the apartment and who I’m talking to, my eyes keep straying, tracking Jackson every time he moves. It’s like he’s a fucking beacon.

When my phone buzzes I look at it and see it's a text from Jackson.

Tinkerbell: You’re staring at me. Knock it off. This isn’t working.

Me: I’m sorry, I’m trying

Tinkerbell: Try harder

I sigh and shove my phone back in my pocket.

When a crowd gathers around the television for a Mario Kart competition, Jackson ends up next to me, and before I realize what I’m doing my fingers are brushing his arm. The next thing I know he’s gone and I’m getting another text.

Tinkerbell: Meet me in the bathroom

Fuck. I have a feeling this isn’t so he can fuck me. I’m screwing up and I know it. I just don’t know how to pretend like he doesn't exist when he’s right here.

When I reach the bathroom I knock and say his name. The door swings open and he pulls me in.

“What the hell was that?” he snaps. “What does not wanting people to know mean to you?”

“I’m doing the best I can,” I retort. “I’m not used to this, having to hide.”

“We agreed we’d keep it a secret.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I just. It’s hard, okay?”

“Look, this is why I didn’t want to come. It was risky enough showing up here together, and I don’t think Lucy and Rory bought for a second that we ran into each other on the way up. You can’t be touching me, or fucking looking at me like that, not here. Not in front of them. Or they’ll definitely know something is up.”

“It would have been riskier to both not come,” I point out. “How do you think that would look? I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal anyway, if they know.” I’m trying to keep the hurt out of my voice but failing miserably. I don’t want to hide him and I don’t want him to hide me.

“Because we agreed it would just be casual. Hooking up. That’s it. I don’t need it announced.”

He told me at the diner that it was just something he needed. For reasons he’s clearly not ready to explain. I believe him. But how much longer will it be this way? How long do we pretend and sneak around and lie? I want to be able to talk to his friends as his friend, or lover, or boyfriend, or whatever and not be in a crowd of people trying not to look at him, having to watch my eyes, and words, and hands, to make sure I don’t slip up.

And he’s never talked to me like this before, or looked at me like this. Like I fucking betrayed him by wanting to be near him. I don’t know what hurts more, that it upsets him so much, or that he doesn't seem to be having nearly as difficult of a time not looking at or touching me.

“Fine,” I tell him. “I’ll leave. That will make it easier. Then you can enjoy the evening without worrying about me.” I open the door and walk out, heading down the hall.

“Preston, wait, I didn’t….” I hear Jackson coming after me. I make my way through the living room and the throngs of people, the large crowd still gathered around the television, and find my coat and shoes by the front door.

“Stop, I didn’t mean for you to have to go,” Jackson says when he reaches me.

“It’s fine.” I slide my shoes on and grab my coat off the hook. “You’ll have to find a ride home. Sorry.” Once my coat is on I open the front door.

“Preston, wait,” he says, before I shut the door in his face.

JACKSON

Shit. I was a gigantic asshole. I know I was. I was just so fucking scared, and it turned into anger. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, and I feel sick over it. I know I hurt him, and I never want to hurt him. I hated seeing the sadness in those beautiful blue eyes. I just can’t risk people, especially Lucy and Rory, finding out about us. I’m already struggling to keep my head and heart in check when it comes to Preston, and them knowing will just make it that much harder.

I know the right thing to do would be to end it now, so that he can stop worrying about it, and so can I. We can say it was fun and go our separate ways. But I’m selfish, and I don’t want to let him go. I can't. Not yet. I need him too much. I need his kisses and his laughter and his smile. I need his touches and his neediness. I need him to want me. He’s the thing that is keeping me from falling apart every time I think about my parents. He helps distract me, makes me laugh, makes me feel safe, and like maybe, some day, I could be good enough. I’m not ready to let that go.

After Preston is gone I get an uber. The snow has let up and the roads are a bit better than they were when we got here, but it will still take twenty minutes for them to arrive, so I find Rory and Lucy and tell them I have a headache and will be leaving soon. It’s not a lie, because I do. All the stress with Preston is making my head hurt.

I ask Rory about Parker, because I can see that there’s more between them than just friends, and he flushes adorably and confirms they’re sleeping together and that he’s pretty crazy for the big burly golden retriever, but that they aren’t actually dating. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite when I encourage him to tell Parker how he feels, and he says he’s trying to work up the courage.

“I’m happy for you,” I tell him. “Parker’s a great guy. And I don’t think you have anything to worry about, babe. He’s clearly smitten with you, too.”

Rory bites his lip and flushes an even deeper shade of red and Lucy smacks his arm.

“Told you,” she says, a grin on her face.

I chat with them for a while before my phone alerts me that my ride is here, and they hug me, and press kisses to my cheek and tell me to feel better and have a good Thanksgiving. They still think I’m going home to enjoy time with my parents. I wish them the same, plastering a smile on my face, and tell Rory not to have too much fun with his roommate when he tells me Parker is going home with him for Thanksgiving.

He grins and I say goodbye before heading out the door.

When I get to Preston’s apartment I knock and wait, hoping he’ll even answer the door. When he doesn’t I start to realize I may need to do some groveling.

“I know you’re in there,” I tell him. “I also know I was an ass earlier, and I’m sorry. Please open the door. I came to apologize.”

The door slowly opens and he’s standing there looking sexy as ever in a white T-shirt that clings to his muscular frame and red track pants. And of course, that ridiculous hat. The T-shirt has holes in it, like most of his shirts do.

“You were saying?” he asks.

“Can I come in?”

He steps aside and I enter. He closes the door behind me. “I could have handled that better, back at the party,” I tell him. “I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be such a jerk.”

He saunters into the kitchen and grabs a glass from the cupboard, filling it with water, before he drinks. I follow him and stand across from him, leaning against the counter, waiting.

“How long are we going to do this?” he asks. “Fuck each other in private and pretend not to know each other in public, around our friends, or specifically around Rory and Lucy, and Parker, because Chris already knows, and has known the entire time, and so do your roommates. So what does it matter if more people do?”

“If Rory and Lucy know they’ll be all up in our business. There’ll be questions and opinions and pressure. I’m not ready for that.” I can’t have them trying to convince me that we could be more. I can’t let myself think about a future with you. Once they know, it stops. Once they know I have to let you go. Because falling for you isn’t an option. I can’t get hurt again. Not by you. “Please, I just need things to stay the way they are for a little while longer.”

He frowns and looks down, playing with the rim of his glass. I decide to risk moving closer and step towards him. “Let me make it up to you,” I murmur, gripping his shirt in my hands and pressing him back against the counter. His gaze meets mine, and I take the glass from his hand and set it down beside him.

“For being a jerk, or not letting me tell people about us?” he asks, his voice rougher now as my dick lengthens, pressing against his thigh. I feel his erection against me as well, and hum.

“Both,” I say, then press kisses to his neck as I slowly rut against him. “I’m sorry.” I move to his ear and nibble on it. “I’m sorry.” I move to his jaw, and then his lips. “I’m sorry.” I kiss him then, one hand on his neck and the other on his hip as he seizes my hips and moves against me. The kisses get deeper and more desperate, and we grip each other harder. His hand moves up to run through my hair and I take hold of his face now, my hips increasing their pace as we suck and nibble and moan. He clasps on to my thighs and I jump, wrapping my legs around him as he carries me down the hallway and to his bedroom. He tosses me on the bed and climbs on, hovering over me. We kiss until our lips are swollen and our dicks are leaking, and then we strip each other and I fuck him, his legs draped over my arms and my dick burried inside him as I thrust and he pants, and gasps, and moans.

He’s a vision underneath me as his fingers dig into my shoulders and his cock leaks onto his abdomen. I lower myself and wrap my arms around him as I fuck him, and his arms come around me, clinging to me, his legs wrapping around my waist as I bury my face in his neck, drinking him in, smelling peaches and wishing that I could keep him forever.