The Hotel Room: His Broken Vows

Chapter Sixteen - James

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

James

James set the steaming mug of peppermint tea on the coffee table in front of Kate, careful not to spill a drop. The scent of it curled into the air, soothing and warm, but the tension in the room was anything but.

Kate sat on the sofa, her legs tucked beneath her. She wasn’t looking at him, her gaze fixed on some distant point beyond the window, her face unreadable.

James hesitated, his hands twitching uselessly at his sides. Finally, he sank to his knees in front of her, the carpet cushioning him as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his thighs. His heart pounded, but he didn’t look away from her, even though she still wasn’t meeting his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, his voice cracking. “I don’t even know if that means anything to you anymore, but I need to say it. Over and over, if I have to.”

Kate shifted slightly, her hand brushing over her stomach. The small movement felt monumental, and James’s breath caught in his chest.

“I don’t expect anything from you,” he continued, his voice trembling. “Not your forgiveness, not your trust. Not even a chance. But I need you to know I’ll be here. For you. For this baby. For everything.”

Her eyes flickered down to him then, just briefly, and it was like a knife to the gut—because he saw the hurt there. The betrayal he’d caused. He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. He had to see it. He owed her that much.

“I got lost,” he admitted, his throat tightening. “I thought being a husband and a father was...something that kept me from seeing who I really was. I thought I needed to step outside of it to figure it out. And when I did...there was nothing there, Kate. Nothing. Just emptiness.”

Her brow furrowed, just slightly, and James swallowed hard, his hands clenching into fists on his knees.

“You know why I couldn’t see who I was without it?” he said hoarsely. “Because this is who I am. A husband. A father. That’s my world. And I threw it away, thinking there was supposed to be something more. But there is nothing more. There never was. This is everything. You are everything.”

Kate’s lips parted, but no sound came. She just stared at him, her fingers tightening slightly on her stomach.

James exhaled shakily, desperate to keep going, to make her understand. “I know I broke you. In ways I can never fully fix. And I will spend the rest of my life carrying that. But I’ll also spend the rest of my life trying. Whether you let me back into your heart or not, I’ll be here. For you, for our kids, for this family. That’s my purpose. That’s my life’s calling. And I will never take it for granted again.”

The silence between them felt heavy, the weight of everything he’d said—and everything he hadn’t—hanging in the air. Kate’s gaze finally lifted, meeting his, and James felt like the ground beneath him had disappeared. Her eyes shimmered, filled with something he couldn’t decipher.

“James,” she said softly, her voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill.

His chest tightened as he waited, watching her, hoping—but not daring to expect.

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James gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white. The hum of the engine filled the silence, but it did nothing to drown out the storm raging in his mind.

She’s pregnant.

The words felt both miraculous and damning, a mixture of joy and devastation that sat heavy in his chest. His heart swelled with the thought of another child, a piece of Kate and him coming into the world. Another chance to cradle a tiny, perfect life in his arms. To be a father again. To try, just try, to get something right.

But the guilt followed immediately, dragging him under like an anchor. How dare he feel joy? How dare he let himself smile, even for a second, when Kate’s world was shattered? He’d done that—broken her trust, broken her heart.

He had thrown away the foundation of their marriage for a fleeting, empty moment. And now she was carrying their child while trying to piece herself back together.

He swallowed hard, his throat tight. The car in front of him slowed for a red light, and James eased his foot onto the brake, his hand twitching on the gearshift.

His reflection in the rearview mirror caught his eye, and he almost flinched. His face looked worn, the lines around his eyes deeper, his expression harder. He barely recognized himself anymore.

What kind of man cheats on the woman he loves? On the woman who built a life with him, who raised his children, who trusted him completely? The kind of man who traps her now—not in a marriage, not anymore—but in a life where she’ll always have to see him, to co-parent an infant with the man who betrayed her.

His chest tightened painfully at the thought. The baby didn’t deserve this. Kate didn’t deserve this. She deserved freedom, happiness, a life untainted by his selfishness. He would give her that if he could. If she wanted a divorce, if she wanted to move on, he would step aside and support her. He would hate every second of it, but he would do it, because it was the only thing left he could offer her.

But the idea of not being there—of not being her husband, not being the man who got to see her smile every morning or touch her belly and feel the baby kick—it hollowed him out. The car behind him honked as the light turned green, and James jolted, pressing the accelerator too quickly. The tires screeched faintly as he surged forward, his breath coming in uneven bursts.

He tried to focus on the road, but his mind kept looping back to the moment she’d told him. The way she’d looked at him, her eyes guarded but still brimming with that quiet strength that always took his breath away. His only job now was to support her, however she needed.

He couldn’t undo the nights she’d cried herself to sleep or the way her shoulders tensed every time he entered a room. He couldn’t erase the image of her stepping into that hotel room, seeing him, and shattering in front of his eyes.

James gripped the wheel tighter, the edges digging into his palms. His foot eased off the gas as he approached the exit to his office. He didn’t want to sit at his desk, pretending to focus on emails or meetings while the weight of his guilt pressed harder against his ribs.

The parking lot was nearly empty as he pulled into a space and turned off the car. The silence was deafening. James rested his head against the steering wheel, closing his eyes as the ache in his chest spread deeper.

He loved her. God, he loved her so much it hurt. She was the love of his life, and he’d destroyed everything they’d built together. And now, despite it all, she was having his baby. A life they had created together. A tiny piece of her and him, innocent and beautiful and full of possibility.

Tears burned at the corners of his eyes, and he exhaled shakily, dragging a hand down his face. He didn’t deserve to feel joy about this baby. But when he thought about it—about holding them, about seeing Kate cradle their child with that quiet, fierce love she always gave—it made his heart ache with longing.

He had to focus. He had to put everything into making sure Kate and the kids felt supported. That this baby grew up surrounded by love and security. And if that meant staying in the background, if that meant watching Kate move on without him, he’d find a way to bear it.

James lifted his head, staring blankly out the windshield. The sun had risen higher now, casting long shadows across the lot. He sat there for a long moment, letting the guilt and shame and fragile hope swirl inside him. Then, with a deep breath, he straightened, grabbed his briefcase, and stepped out of the car.

Today, he would try again. For Kate. For their kids. For the baby growing inside her. For the family he had broken but refused to give up on. It wasn’t enough—not yet. But he would keep trying until it was.