The Hotel Room: His Broken Vows

Chapter Eighteen - James

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

James

The waiting room felt smaller today.

The same worn leather chairs. The same shelves filled with books on healing, relationships, and mindfulness he used to dismiss as cliché. Now, they felt...different. Less like something other people needed and more like something he was finally starting to understand.

He’d been coming here for weeks now. He knew the drill.

But this time, Kate was sitting beside him.

And that made the entire space feel heavier.

She sat with her hands folded tightly in her lap, gaze lowered to a faint scuff on the floor. Her body was angled slightly away from him—not obvious, but enough that he felt it.

Distance.

And he deserved it.

God, he hated himself for what he’d done.

For weeks, he’d been peeling back the layers of his own selfishness in these therapy sessions, confronting every uncomfortable truth he’d buried for years. The shame. The way he’d justified that night in New York as nothing more than a lapse— just curiosity —when the truth was so much uglier.

He’d betrayed her.

He had destroyed something rare and beautiful.

They’d only ever been with each other.

He hadn’t just hurt their marriage—he’d shattered the kind of bond most people only dreamed about. The purity of it. The trust.

And for what?

A moment of weakness. Of selfishness.

What kind of man does that to the woman he loves?

The door opened, and Dr. Adler appeared, calm and composed as always.

“Kate. James. Come in.”

James forced himself to stand, his throat tight. Kate moved beside him, silent but graceful, her expression unreadable.

The walls felt even closer when they sat side by side on the therapy couch. The distance between them felt unbearable.

And all James could think was I did this. I broke us.

Dr. Adler settled across from them, her calm gaze steady.

“I know this session feels uncomfortable,” she began gently. “But the fact that you’re both here speaks volumes. It shows a willingness to heal, even if that healing feels uncertain.”

James swallowed hard, feeling the words stick. Healing?

He wasn’t sure he deserved that.

Kate remained silent, her face pale but composed, her hands folded tightly in her lap.

So James spoke first, his voice quiet but determined.

“I’ve been working on myself. Trying to—trying to understand why I made the choices I did. Why I hurt you, Kate.”

She didn’t look at him.

He pushed forward anyway.

“I know I broke your trust. I shattered it. I—” His voice cracked, forcing him to stop and breathe before he continued. “I don’t expect you to forgive me just because I’m saying the right words. But I love you, Kate. I’ve always loved you. And I don’t want to lose the life we built together.”

Silence.

For a moment, he thought maybe she wouldn’t respond.

Then, slowly, Kate’s gaze lifted, and when she spoke, her voice was quieter but no less devastating.

“Part of me wants to believe you. I want to believe you’re capable of being the man I trusted for all those years. But you already showed me that you’re not.”

James flinched, the ache in his chest unbearable, but he didn’t interrupt.

Kate continued, voice trembling but steady.

“We were supposed to be different. We were supposed to be special , James. We only ever had each other. That meant something to me. And you—” Her voice broke, her hand pressing against her stomach for a heartbeat before she forced herself to continue. “You didn’t just cheat. You took something I thought was sacred and turned it into a lie.”

James felt the ever present self-loathing tighten around his ribs like a vice.

She was right.

He had destroyed that.

And the truth—the ugliest part—was that he hadn’t appreciated how rare it was until it was gone.

Until he saw the way she looked at him now. Like she didn’t know him. Like the love they’d built had turned into a stranger.

Dr. Adler’s voice cut through the silence, calm but direct.

“Kate, I hear your pain. You have every right to feel this deeply hurt. What James did was a profound betrayal. It severed a bond you both valued. And James—” she turned her attention to him now— “You’ve spoken a lot about your guilt. But guilt alone isn’t enough to rebuild trust. What does accountability mean to you now?”

James swallowed hard, his hands clenching on his thighs as he forced the words out.

“I didn’t just hurt Kate. I stole something from her. I let myself believe that because we’d been together since we were kids, that it was...normal to feel restless. That I had a right to see what else was out there.”

His stomach twisted as the words left his mouth—truth laid bare.

“I was wrong . There was nothing missing from our marriage, Kate. The problem was me. I didn’t know how to face my own feelings of...stagnation. So I ran from them instead. I ran straight into something meaningless and let it destroy something irreplaceable .”

His voice cracked.

“I love you but more than that I respect you, Kate. I always have. But I didn’t show that respect. And I hate myself for it.”

The words hung in the air, raw and heavy.

For a moment, Kate stayed silent. Her face didn’t soften—but it wasn’t closed off either.

And then, quietly, she whispered, “I loved the life we built, James. I never felt trapped in it. I felt safe. Loved . And I can’t understand how you didn’t see that.”

James’s voice broke on the reply.

“I see it now, Kate. I swear to you—I see it now.”

Dr. Adler’s voice filled the space between them, calm yet steady.

“Rebuilding trust takes time. James, the work you’ve been doing matters. But it’s not about proving your worth with grand gestures. It’s about consistency . Vulnerability. Facing the consequences with humility, not self-punishment.”

Kate nodded slowly, arms still folded, her face guarded but not unfeeling.

And James—he could feel it. He hadn’t earned her trust back yet.

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The scent of disinfectant clung faintly to the air, sterile and impersonal. But James barely registered it.

His focus was on Kate.

She sat beside him in the uncomfortable vinyl chair, one hand resting gently over her belly. Her head was turned slightly away, watching the clock, and even in the harsh lighting of this place, she looked...

Beautiful.

She always had.

Even now, when everything between them felt fractured, when her smiles were rare and careful, there was something in the softness of her features—something vulnerable and strong all at once—that still made his chest ache.

And yet, there was a distance between them he couldn’t bridge.

He remembered the first time they’d sat in a waiting room like this, years ago. When they were both younger. So much younger. Expecting Noah.

She’d been so full of life then, clutching his hand, cheeks flushed with excitement. Their entire world had felt wide open. They hadn’t known what they were doing, but they’d been in it together .

Back then, the idea of a third child had been a dream, a vague someday conversation.

James shifted, his hands clasped too tightly in his lap as the ultrasound tech called her name.

Kate gave him a quick glance, her expression unreadable, then stood.

He followed.