Chapter 28
twenty-eight
. . .
Mason
My current shitty mood was brought to me by the sterile scent of chlorine burning my nose, paired with the fluorescent lighting that always managed to give me a headache, and the fact that I had been waiting over an hour for my doctor to show up. Like most people, I had never loved going to the doctor’s office. My disdain only grew after my injury; coming in day after day to have tests run on me like a lab rat, only to be told that I would never play hockey again, didn’t exactly make me feel any better. Still, I force myself to go to my check-up appointments because, at the end of the day, you only have one head. I may not have taken care of it before, but at least I can try now.
“Sorry to keep you waiting so long Mason. Somehow I got double booked.” My neurologist, Tabitha, gives me a sheepish smile as she enters the room.
“S’all good.”
“So how have you been since the last time I saw you?”
“About the same. Every now and then, I’ll get a migraine or wake up feeling super dizzy which lingers the whole day.” Those are the moments where I feel the most resentment about my retirement. Some days, I can convince myself that I just need some more time to recover, and eventually, I’ll play again. Then symptoms return, and I’m reminded of how unlikely that pipe dream is.
“And how long do those last?”
“Migraines usually go away in like an hour or so. Dizziness goes away the next day. I take my pain meds when I need them.”
“And that seems to help?” I give her a nod. “Good, good. Any recent accidents?”
“Nope.”
“And you’re avoiding any sports with physical contact?” she presses.
“Yup. I’m coaching hockey now, but I’m never involved in the drills. Just demonstrate what to do and let my players handle it.”
“Be sure to keep it that way. Well, it sounds like things are going well. Unfortunately, in some cases of post-concussion syndrome, migraines and dizziness persist for a while. We’ll continue to keep an eye on it, and if anything gets worse, call the front desk to get you scheduled earlier.”
“Will do Doc.”
I leave the doctor’s office feeling even shittier than when I entered. I knew I was injured, and so did everyone (including millions of strangers I’d never met before), but it never got easier hearing how broken beyond repair you were. A distraction right now would be great. Luckily for me, my phone starts ringing.
“You would think after living in New York for nearly eight years I’d be used to the cold, but I swear every year this shit catches me off guard.” Connor had just gotten back from playing a series of away games on the West Coast where the weather was much warmer. It seems the first thing he wanted to do when he got home was call me and complain. “I don’t know how or why people decide to move to the Northeast and stay here. Do they hate the sun? And happiness? Is that it?”
“Yes, that’s it.”
“I went to pick up a coffee yesterday after a shower, and by the time I got back to my apartment, my hair was frozen — like icicle frozen.”
“Next time wear a beanie.” I quip.
“Your answer to preventing my frostbitten scalp is a beanie? You’re as bad as the rest of them.” I can practically hear his eyes roll through the phone. “I also got hit with a gust of wind so cold I swore my balls tucked into my stomach. I don’t know how many more winters I have in me.”
“Well, you are coming up on the end of your contract soon. You could always see if you could go back home. Or at least somewhere warmer.” Though I’d be really surprised if the Rangers didn’t re-sign him. Beyond them not having the salary space to give him a contract that he deserves, I don’t see a reason why Connor would leave.
“Yeah, I just don’t know if I want to go through all of that. Adjusting to a new team is hard enough when it’s just players coming in and out, add moving across the country to a place I’ve never lived before. It’s a hassle.”
“Sounds like we just need to get you a better winter coat then. And maybe some beanies.”
“Fuck off.”
“Hey, you were the one who called me, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t pretend like you don’t miss me too.”
“Who are you again?…Cody, was it?”
“Is that any way to speak to the guy receiving a philanthropy award?”
“Depends. Is the philanthropy for scalp frostbite awareness? ”
“Yes. Second Chance cares very much about scalps.”
Most NHL teams pair with a charity organization to help give back to the community. The Second Chance Foundation is geared toward supporting families who are either at risk or are currently facing housing insecurity and helping them get back on their feet. The organization is particularly important to Connor, who has always been very transparent about the struggles he endured when he was growing up and how Second Chance helped save his family.
“Congrats man. Well deserved.”
“Thanks, Mase. They called last week and let me know they picked me to receive their philanthropic leadership award this year.”
Knowing him, this award probably meant more than the Stanley Cup. For as much as Connor loved hockey, he loved helping people even more. A real bleeding heart on this guy.
“Well duh. Look at all the work you’ve done for scalps all across New York! Now, when do you receive this award? I’ll get my suit pressed.”
“They’re planning on giving me the award during the annual Rangers gala in two months. They want to highlight the work I’ve done to develop a mentorship program between them and the Rangers, so it’ll be when we have a bye-week. Uhm…I’m allowed to pick someone to give an opening speech and present the award to me, and I was hoping that person could be you?”
“Seriously?” Damn, I’m feelin’ misty.
“You’re my best friend Mason. And a lot of the work I’ve been able to do has been because of you. You’re the one who encouraged me to talk to our PR team about working with Second Chance.”
My throat tightens. “Of course I’ll do it. I’m really honored that you asked me.”
“And you’ll still say yes when I tell you the whole team will be there?”
“Ah.” Can I handle being in the same room with guys who are getting to live the dream while mine was taken away from me? I haven’t really kept up with this season, mainly because every time I turn on a game all I can think of is what could’ve been, but the Rangers have always been a solid team and my players still talk about how they are current favorites for winning the Eastern Conference. It didn’t matter; I could do this for Connor. He is one of the only friends from my time with the Rangers that stuck with me after my retirement. One of the few people who kept pushing through all my attempts to shut out everyone I cared about because I was too afraid to face them. I could do this for Connor.
“That means Kallum will definitely be there...” Connor hedges. “I understand if that changes your decision.”
Kallum and I had a rocky start to our relationship when I joined the team and promptly took his starting line spot. Over the years the resentment he had toward me continued to build until it came to a head. The worst incident featured a small fight in the locker room after I missed a game-tying goal and he continued to rip into me. Rowan pulled us apart after a few punches were thrown. It was one of my lowest moments as a Ranger. “I’m not gonna let him get to me, or stop me from doing this for you.”
“I appreciate it, man. Really.”
“I can’t promise I won’t punch Kallum in the face if he says something stupid. But I will promise to do it after the event. And not in public.”
Connor lets out a small chuckle. “Fair enough. You do also get a plus one.” He leaves it there, waiting for me to reply.
I decide to take the bait, “A plus one?”
“Yeah, maybe someone who’s short, cute, has curly hair. Someone you’ve been pining over for the past couple of years?”
I can’t deny that Violet’s face immediately flashed into my head when he mentioned a plus one. Though it’s only been a few weeks since we started rekindling our friendship, every lunch date or latte run instilled my hope that we could be something more one day. It helped that every interaction Violet and I had recently always included some level of flirty banter. “We’re just friends.”
“So, I take it you haven’t told her that you want more?”
“I don’t want to scare her away. Especially now that I have her back in my life. Being friends is the safer option.”
“Okay, and maybe as your friend she’d be willing to come as moral support as you face parts of your past?”
“Maybe…” Having Violet there with me would make the night much easier. She could always tell when I was on the verge of panicking, and her presence grounded me.
He clears his throat. “Alright, well, I should probably get going. I’ll send you more details soon.”
“Sounds good, congrats again.”
“Thanks, although I guess I should also say congrats to you too.”
“What for?”
“For finally working things out with Violet. I’m happy for you, man. You deserve this. You deserve some happiness in your life.”
And for the first time in a long time, I agreed.