The Interview (Carnage #6)
Prologue
GEORGIA
Iknow what he’s going to say before I hear him say it. I’m just not sure what my response is going to be.
“You sure this is a good idea?”
My eyes remain closed, but I can smell him, feel his breath against my skin when he whispers against my ear.
“As sure as I can be,” I reply.
“G—”
“I’m okay with it,” I interrupt. “I’ll be fine. Besides, think of the cause.”
“The cause is great; I love the cause and everything you’ve done and are doing with it. I’m proud of you—so fucking proud—but you’re more important. Your mental health and your well-being are more important to me than any cause.”
“I’ll be okay.”
“Will you? You know all of this will drag up the past...”
“I’m aware. I’m ready for that.”
“Are you? What if it’s things you don’t know?”
I draw in a long breath and release it through my nose. “Is that likely to happen? Are there things you need to tell me now?”
“You know I love you. Isn’t that enough?”
“That’s a non-answer if ever I heard one. Should I be worried?”
“No, I just don’t want them springing some bullshit on you.”
“They won’t. Len has handpicked the team.
We’ve gone over the questions, but I’ve told them we’ll play it by ear.
I want people to see me—the real me. I don’t want this to come across as fake or staged.
..” I trail off when my nose tingles and fight the tears threatening to fall because I don’t want him to worry even more.
“I just want them to like me, Sean. They never liked me for you—not back then—but I want them to like me now, so they’ll go and watch the film, and we’ll raise lots of money for the foundation.”
I feel his fingertips brush across my cheeks.
A riot of emotions erupts inside me: guilt, longing, so much fucking sadness.
“Fucking hell, I miss you,” he says as his lips brush mine, and guilt wins over everything else I’m feeling.
“I miss you, too.”
“Do you? I want to believe that, but I also don’t want it to be true. I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. My life is full, but I still miss you. I’ve learned to compartmentalise. I love the life I had with you. I also love the life I have now with Cam and the kids.”
“Do you still love me?”
“Of course, I still love you. I’ll never not love you; my heart doesn’t know how.”
“But you also love him.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“I do. He’s my rock. He and the kids are my world. Without them, I’d probably be with you right now.”
“Is it wrong that I both love and hate him for that?”
I feel like my heart physically cracks. Life is so fucking unfair. “You don’t hate him. I don’t think you’re capable of hate—”
“Rocco Taylor, Haley White...”
“Yeah, apart from that pair of cunts.”
“Gia!”
“What?”
“Language!”
“Oh, don’t you start. You sound like C...” I trail off, feeling guilty for a different reason now.
“Well, he’s not wrong. You do swear too much.”
“How else would you describe that pair of Devil’s cum drippings?”
“Fuck me, I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“Impossible, beautiful girl. Fucking impossible.”
“You’re going.”
“I have to.”
“I’ll be okay, I promise.”
“I know, and if you’re not, I know you’ve got him to make it better.”
“Tell Beau and Baby M I love them.”
“They know G. They know.”
And then he’s gone.
A big hand slides over my hip, lands on my belly, and pulls me into a warm body. A different scent invades my senses—one that heals that crack in my heart as soft lips brush against my ear.
“You’re talking in your sleep. This show stressing you out? Cos if it is, I want you to call it off. Knock the whole thing on the head right the fuck now.”
I push my bum back into him and smile, knowing that, despite the heartache, the trauma, the losses I’ve experienced in my life, I’m so very fucking lucky to be unconditionally loved by two amazing men.