The King’s Maiden (Camelot Court #1)

Chapter Thirty-One

QUINN

I ’d been staring at the ceiling for the last twenty minutes.

After Landon had barged into the bathroom and pulled me out of my panic, we fell asleep. At some point, I woke to him scooping me off the floor. I barely remembered making it to the bed, but I couldn’t forget crying into his chest until I fell back asleep.

Waking up alone in bed after all of that, somehow, I still felt safe and warm. Tucked under the covers Landon had pulled up around me, I opened my eyes to find I’d curled toward the window where he slept.

And once again, he was gone.

After what happened last night and what I’d shared with him, he wasn’t there. But I’d woken up plenty of times in the last two weeks without him—that wasn’t even the problem.

It was that I wanted him to be there.

That tiny realization made my heart pound.

Oh, fuck.

Shooting upright, I threw the covers off my body. I kicked the sheets away with my feet, as if the bed had been filled with snakes. Though, the real betrayer rested in my chest.

When I uncovered a silk pajama set I had not fallen asleep in last night, I shot right past how Landon had dressed me and went straight to freaking out.

The pajamas had gotten twisted overnight, the shorts riding up my ass and my tits falling almost completely out of the camisole. I had absolutely no choice but to tear it off my body.

I needed my sleep shirt.

I needed my inhaler.

And I needed…Fuck. To be honest, I probably needed breakfast, but the only thing on the menu was a large helping of grade A panic.

I couldn’t deny it anymore. And I couldn’t blame it on the orgasms. I couldn’t cheapen it or refuse to claim it.

All I could do was wonder how I could be so fucking stupid.

I’d done the one thing I said I wouldn’t—the last thing I needed to do. I’d gone and gotten myself attached, and now I was waking up all heart-eyed emoji over the way the guy had tucked me into bed.

A bed he’d probably vacated, as soon as I fell asleep, and he’d been able to extricate himself from my clingy tangle of limbs.

Refusing to even play devil’s advocate and wonder if maybe I’d woken up alone because my Knight had gone to fetch me food, I got out of bed. I grabbed my most obnoxious sleep shirt and threw it on my body.

The grumpy cats all over it rapidly infused me with joy.

They also reminded me of how Landon’s eye twitched whenever I wore it.

“Gah!”

I tore it off and grabbed one I hadn’t worn yet. It was less offensive to the eye, and therefore, had been shoved down to the bottom of the drawer. That would work.

No obvious Landon association.

The shirt was safe.

I ran my fingers through my hair while I peed, brushed my teeth, and bolted from the room, needing to get out of there before he came back. The door slammed behind me.

And as if my weak moment had purposefully summoned him, Max Dread stepped out of his room.

“Do you mi?—”

“Nope!” I threw my hand up as I cut him off. “Not today, Satan! I am not in the mood!”

My voice rang out down the hall, but I didn’t care.

“Cute PJs!” Max called after me.

“Wore them just for you, buddy!”

“Perfect. I love the way your tits bounce in it when you’re not wearing a bra.”

I spun around to give him two middle fingers to the sky, but Vivian’s shriek from his room took care of that karma for me. My laugh came out a little louder and way more satisfied than necessary. His answering growl, and the slam of his door, told me he’d heard it.

Flying around the banister at the top of the stairs, I took them down two at a time before jumping onto the main landing. My light verbal sparring with Max had released some of the tension in my body. But I was still wound up, and I needed food.

Probably a mild sedative, too.

I pushed my way through the kitchen doors and couldn’t decide if I was relieved or disappointed when I didn’t find Landon making me a breakfast I most certainly didn’t want. My mood deflated, starting a spiral downward as confusion crept in.

“He needed to take the day to deal with some urgent personal matters.”

Whipping around, I spotted Kingston eyeing me from behind the fridge door. He offered me a weak attempt at a smile, but didn’t say anything else.

I sat down at the kitchen island with a humph. “Oh. I’m not—I wasn’t?—”

“Quinn, I’m his best friend. Other than what I witnessed at the party, he didn’t give me details. But he said you two had a heavy night. That’s not a word Landon typically uses unless big emotions come out.” He poured a glass of juice and held it out to me. “If it had been me, I’d be looking for him, too.”

I accepted the juice, twirling the glass in my hands as I processed what Kingston said. What had happened between us last night had brought up big emotions—in me. But apparently it had brought up stuff for Landon that meant he needed to get away.

Kingston touched my hand before pulling back. “It’s not because of you.”

“Stop that.”

“What?”

“Saying things like you know what I’m thinking.”

His eyebrows rose. “That’s not what you were thinking?”

“That’s not the point.” I huffed. “And don’t you dare say you know what the point is because I have a point to make.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I found myself returning the smile that came to his lips, just a little bit. “I’m sensing a theme between us. And I’m not sure I like it.”

“Which part? The way I can read your mind?”

I shook my head, taking a sip of my juice and nearly moaning at the taste of freshly squeezed oranges. “No, the one where Landon does something I don’t understand, and you swoop in to make sure I don’t hate him for it.”

“Ah. That one.”

“Yeah,” I said petulantly. “That one.”

Kingston sighed and took the empty seat beside me. He gripped the edge of my chair, turning me to face him. Smoothing the flyaway strands of hair from my forehead and cheeks, he searched my face for a long time before he spoke again.

“Quinn, I’m only telling you this because he said I could if I thought you needed to hear it. I want you to know I’m not breaking his confidence here, but also that this isn’t something he remembers. Or wants to remember. So I’m going to ask you not to bring it up with him. Can you promise me that?”

My brow creased, and I shook my head. “I don’t like making promises I’m not sure I can keep, Kingston.”

He nodded, accepting that. “I don’t have to share it with you at all. It’s your choice. If there comes a time where you want to understand why Landon…Well, why he is the way he is, then come to me and I’ll tell you.” Reaching for my hand, he turned it over in his palm. “If you can trust him or trust me without that, I promise he won’t let your faith in him be wasted.”

I frowned. That was like dangling the climax of a series in front of a reader who loved spoilers.

But the way things had been progressing, I didn’t want to skip to the finale. If last night brought up heavy emotions for him, and if Kingston said it wasn’t about me, I could believe that. I’d still have to call Gia and freak out about it, but I didn’t have to bolt. I didn’t have to be scared. And I could decide to trust him.

I groaned dramatically at the offer Kingston had left in the air. “Ugh, this is like Sophie’s Choice.” At the slightly appalled look on his face, I laughed. “I’m kidding, obviously. But it isn’t easy to turn that down. I just…I’d rather not know. Not right now.”

His expression shifted from relief to reverence as he cupped my face in his hands, and he smiled at me like I’d just answered every one of his prayers.

Super flattering, but hella confusing.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He took a deep breath and brushed his thumb over my lips. “Because, Quinn, I…”

Trailing off, he took hold of my wrist and played with the charms on my bracelet.

I hadn’t been ready to add his charm when he first gave it to me, but the thought of doing so now didn’t feel as overwhelming.

“Let me guess. You were right about me?”

He smiled, nudging my knee with his. “Stop that.”

“What?”

“Saying things like you know what I’m thinking.”

I rolled my eyes, an impish grin quirking the side of my mouth. “Oh, that wasn’t what you were thinking?”

His eyes darkened as he stared at my lips. “It was and it wasn’t.”

“What does that mean?”

But I knew the answer before he said it.

“You’ll see.”

I shook my head, exasperated with him but also much lighter. My momentary freak out felt a bit foolish, but given the heaviness of last night, I was entitled to a little irrationality. Though, it didn’t change that my goal of staying detached had failed.

The plan hadn’t been to care about Landon, and it was the last thing I expected to happen when I came back here after the Maiden Selection. I also hadn’t been expecting to care about the King sitting in front of me—the one still transfixed by my mouth.

“You know, none of this was supposed to happen, right?”

Busy memorizing the shape of my lips, Kingston raised his eyebrows. “Hm?”

I pushed my finger under his chin to redirect his eyes upward. “I wasn’t supposed to care. About you, about him.” I swept my gaze around the room as if it were all of Camelot Court and The Quest. “About any of this.”

“Yes, you were.” His hands slipped down from cupping my jaw to cradling my neck. “You just forgot how for a little while. You’ve been afraid to feel because you know better than most how love opens your heart up to loss.”

His thumb stroked up the column of my throat. And even though he said Landon hadn’t shared details with him, I sensed that he knew—that his mind was on the pain I still held there in my neck. That somehow he felt it, too.

“You deserve to feel everything good in this world, Quinn Everly. To care and be cared for—to love with your whole heart. Without limits or fear.” His eyes swept over the room like mine had. “You deserve all of it.”

And for the first time in a year, a small part of me thought, maybe.

Maybe I did. Or at the very least, maybe I could learn to believe that again.

When Landon got back that night, it was after midnight. I woke up on the chaise where I’d been reading and waiting up for him. All he said was I should get some rest and that we had a lot of work to do the next day. That was all the explanation I got.

He showered quickly and went to sleep, and he didn’t make me join him in bed.

Naturally, I slept like a champ after that.

The next morning, he left early to take care of some things. Again, without much to say. That made trust harder to hold on to, and I was struggling when he found me later that day, sitting under the lemon tree and staring out at the water.

After my talk with Kingston the day before and Landon’s abrupt withdrawal, I’d needed some time to think about everything. My life choices, my growing attraction to thr —two —equally vague and confusing guys. I figured under a lemon tree was as good a place as any.

I ended up spending the whole day out there, though, oddly calm under its branches.

Even as some of the other Knights and Maidens came out, heading down to the lake to ease their hangovers with a swim, I sat there. Ignoring Vivian’s tired remarks about my whore ways. Refusing to return Max’s searing gaze as she dragged him away. Peeking at his bare back while he scowled on the shoreline and averting my eyes as soon as he looked back at me.

No doubt plotting how to get rid of me or insinuate how he’d fuck me if I asked for it.

I thanked my lucky stars I had been blessed with my dad’s stubbornness and iron will. It was the only thing keeping me from marching down there and telling him he’d been right.

The White Knight had left me high and dry and he could take care of the problem.

Except that created a different set of problems.

One—I still hated him.

Two—I wanted to win The Quest more than anyone or anything. Even the reminder of my biggest regret.

And three—even if he made the sex worth it, I’d have to see his stupid, smug face afterward and that would ruin it for me.

I deserved more than that.

Maybe.

So, I just sat there. Long after they all went inside to start their nightly rounds of training, I sat there until my eyes drifted shut. Until Landon walked up and sat down beside me.

He didn’t say anything.

He just held out his hand and waited for me to take it before leading me to the Round Tableau.

And then, he showed me what it meant to be a Maiden. What it meant to be led by trust.

What it meant to be his.