The Kraken’s Queen (Grym Hollow #3)

39. Erin

Chapter 39

Erin

A s it turns out, pretending your heart isn’t broken into a million pieces requires a lot of energy. The day after arriving at Atina’s house, I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day. Unfortunately, Atina had different plans for me.

After a quick breakfast of eggs and ham—I ate only a few bites—Atina pulls me outside and into the sunlight. “You need to show your face to your people.” She takes me from cabin to cabin.

I put on a smile because what else can I do? Fear hangs heavy in the air, and I don’t want to add to it. Atina leads me back toward the ocean. We pass Delmare, Iris, and a few other royal guards who are helping pass out supplies and food to those who need it. Guilt gnaws at me. I should be out there helping them, not trailing Atina like a lost puppy. I can’t muster up more than a weak smile and a simple hello.

It’s draining.

I spend most of my day with Atina, moving mechanically and not speaking. Atina tries to elicit any emotion from me, but she comes up short each time. Eventually, she stops trying. I don’t blame her. I would give up on me too.

I see Allarick in everything I’m doing. I see him in the people who come up to me, telling me how strong I am. I don’t feel strong, though. Quite the opposite, really. I see Allarick each time Atina turns on me with her brows drawn together. She looks so much like her brother, it’s hard to be around her for too long.

But it’s just a ghost because my husband isn’t here. And I don’t know if he ever will be again.

I make no complaints when Atina finally grows weary of me and offers to take me back to her cabin. I go without protest. “Are you hungry? I can make dinner.” She’s already halfway to the kitchen, not interested in my answer.

I’m not hungry.

But I somehow doubt she’ll care.

After twenty minutes of her tinkering around in the kitchen, Atina sets a plate of salmon and rice in front of me. She takes a seat at the table and wastes no time inhaling her food.

“So,” she says between bites, “do you have a course of action yet?”

I play with the rice on my plate before taking a bite. I’m sure it’s a fine meal, but I don’t taste anything. “No.”

Atina sighs heavily, lowering her head. I don’t wait for her to tell me just how shitty of a queen I’m being, so I rise and grab my plate. “Thank you for dinner. I’m tired and think I’ll head to bed. ”

Atina doesn’t even look at me as she nods. I hesitate, wanting to apologize but torn between her feelings and my own. Ultimately, my selfishness wins, and I walk to the kitchen and discard my plate. I make my way to the bedroom and shut the door. Atina insisted I take her bed last night—the same bed I slept in when I first arrived to Mescos—and I’m assuming that offer extends to tonight as well.

I don’t even change before I climb into bed and hold a pillow to my chest. My only reprieve from this heartache is to close my eyes and drift off to a dreamless, silent sleep.

I’m not sure how long I stay asleep that night, but when I wake up in the morning and finally force myself out of bed, Atina is gone. I don’t blame her after yesterday, but loneliness creeps in anyway. I’m sure she got tired of my mopey shit.

Although Atina isn’t in the main room when I walk in, my harp is. I stop dead in my tracks, frowning at the beautiful instrument. I told Iris I didn’t want to see it, but clearly my maid had other ideas for me. Delmare must have helped her carry it in here, and both left before I woke up. Not even Delmare and Iris want to be around the negative energy I possess.

Sighing, I stalk close to the harp, dropping down on the couch. My fingers graze the smooth body of the instrument. I’m sure they brought it here to cheer me up or have me play to calm everyone else, but I don’t particularly feel in the mood for music.

I’m about to get up to get myself a glass of water when the door opens. I expect Atina or Iris to walk through the door, encouraging me to get out. I’m already exhausted just thinking about making rounds again. Two people peek around the door of my cabin, but neither is Atina or Iris.

Despite myself, I jump back.

“Sorry! We didn’t mean to scare you,” a woman with red hair says.

“We were told you might still be asleep,” the other black-haired woman says.

There’s something vaguely familiar about both of these women. They aren’t from Tetria; that much is obvious from their clothes. The red-haired woman is wearing an emerald-green dress that doesn't look like any fabric I’ve ever seen before. It’s like it’s made from lizard scales.

The other woman’s outfit is much more mundane and familiar. Tight black pants and a long-sleeved red blouse. Her black hair is braided back, showing off a tattoo on her neck. At least it looks like a tattoo, but I can’t make out what the design is.

Both women enter the cabin, and realization dawns. I’ve seen these women before, heard stories from Sister Tammy about them.

“You’re from Grym Hollow.” My mind is having a hard time seeing two women from my hometown in this magical land.

The red-haired woman laughs. “We are. I’m Rose, and this is Hettie. We made the same deal as you did with The Guardian. He’s not the most forthcoming.”

The other woman—Hettie—scoffs. “It’s easier to talk to a brick wall. ”

My interactions with The Guardian were minimal. I don’t think we said more than a few sentences to each other. Our last interaction was him carrying my broken body out of James's house.

“What are you doing here? Why are you here?” The last thing I expected today was to have two people from Grym Hollow show up at Atina’s door.

“Atina—apparently that’s your husband’s sister?” Hettie asks. I nod and she continues, “Well, she paid my husband and me a visit and asked me to speak to you. Rose happened to be visiting, so I brought her along. She helped me out a few weeks back, so I figured she’d be helpful in this situation.”

“I don’t understand.” Was this Atina’s attempt at helping me make friends in case I become a grieving widow? Was she already tired of putting up with me? The women before me both look strong and capable, but unless they can help me get Allarick back, I don’t think their help is necessary.

Rose steps forward, hand coming to rest on her flat stomach. “Do you mind if we sit down? These days I can barely go a few hours without feeling sick.”

Because I’m not completely rude, I nod. “Of course, take a seat.”

“Thank you,” Rose says graciously and moves to sit on the couch. She groans, holding her back as she sits.

“Are you okay? Can I get you something?” The woman clearly looks uncomfortable. She rubs her back before straightening up.

“I’ll be okay in seven more months,” she mumbles.

My brain is slow to process the words, but luckily Hettie explains Rose’s discomfort. “Rose is expecting. She and Malix wasted no time getting down to business.” She smirks.

“Didn’t you just tell me you and Rip want to start a family?” Rose teases.

“I did…do, but I’m going to let you push out the dragon baby and then consider if I’m ready to push out a wolf baby. Tallie told me Rip weighed twelve pounds. Twelve fucking pounds. I’ll never recover from that,” Hettie says, falling back on the couch dramatically.

From outside the door, there’s a low growl, and then a male voice shouts through the door, “You’ll recover just fine.”

“Ugh, fucking alpha males,” Hettie murmurs, rolling her eyes. Even as she feigns annoyance, I don’t miss the smile she tries to hide. “That’s my husband, Rip. Ignore him; I’m trying to.”

“At least your husband isn’t flying above head, scaring anyone who tries to get too close to the cabin.” Rose laughs but then sobers up quickly, like she remembered why she’s here. “Anyway, we didn’t come here to talk about my pregnancy or our husbands. We are here to talk about yours.”

Both women look at me as my brow lifts in confusion. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” Perhaps it’s my brain fog, or maybe it’s my annoyance at being caught off guard that keeps me from understanding.

“Can you tell us what’s happening?” Rose asks. “Atina told us a little, but we would like to hear it from you.”

I sigh, deciding to humor Rose and Hettie. It’s not like I have anything better to do, plus both women are from Grym Hollow. If anyone can help me and understand what I’m going through, it’s them. I tell them about Allarick and the home he brought me to. About the Leviathan, which they seemed really interested in, and then finally about the last day we were together. How Allarick pushed me away and how I ended up in this cabin.

Sad. Lonely. Pathetic.

“So, I’m here waiting to see if my husband comes back. If not…” I cut myself off. Stubborn tears roll down my cheeks, and I quickly wipe them away. The last thing I want to do is cry in front of these women. I’m the acting ruler of Tetria and the merpeople who inhabit it; I can’t show weakness to these other Grym Hollow women. No, not just women. Queens. They both signed contracts with The Guardian to become wives to their respective kings.

“Must be a requirement for Mescos kings to be so damn stubborn,” Hettie says. “It’s like they forgot the whole reason they brought us here is to help them save their kingdom.”

“Do you know where he’s going, Erin?” Rose asks. I didn’t tell her my name, so Atina must have filled them in about me. Or they heard my name around Grym Hollow…which I hope isn’t the case.

I shake my head. “He’s trying to seal the gate that’s holding the Leviathan. But I don’t know where it is.” I only saw the place marked on a map I couldn’t read. Even if I could, there’s no way I can navigate the sea without Allarick. The only person who knows the sea better than Allarick is …

Atina.

Something akin to hope flickers to life.

But it instantly extinguishes because, even if Atina could get me there, there’s nothing I could do to help him. The door must be sealed by his bloodline. I would only be a distraction.

“There’s nothing I can do to help him,” I say at last.

Hettie and Rose share a look, and I can’t help but feel left out. There’s a friendship between them—one I envy.

“There actually might be,” Rose says at last. “Have you or Allarick noticed anything you do that seems…magical?”

I nearly scoff and tell her absolutely not, but that’s not the truth. The evidence is sitting right in front of me in the form of a beautiful pearlescent harp.

“Yeah, actually,” I say slowly. “I’m a musician. I’m used to moving people with my music, but the way my songs capture the merpeople is…different. I’ve had a few of them say it’s cured their headaches, and it brings peace to many. It also blocks out the song of the Leviathan when nothing else will.”

And Allarick is going straight to the source. Without his best chance at success.

The lingering sadness I’ve felt since being forced apart from Allarick is quickly replaced with anger.

How dare he.

How dare he leave himself defenseless, knowing I could help.

He was wrong. Tetria doesn’t need me. Tetria needs us .

“I believe it,” Rose says. “Which is why I don’t think leaving you behind was a smart move.”

“Ditto. I’m all for defying your husband and doing exactly what they say not to do.” Hettie grins. From outside, someone growls again.

If I had looked past my sadness and stopped my own pity party, I would have come to the same conclusion Hettie and Rose are getting at. Or maybe I wouldn’t have. Maybe I needed two women who have gone through the same ordeal that I’m currently going through to tell me that seeing Allarick is possible. That helping him is possible if I defy his orders.

“I need to get to my husband,” I say at last, looking between Hettie and Rose. These two women know better than anyone what it means to stand against your husband and fight for your chance at love.

Hettie smirks. “I like you, Erin. Now, let’s get you to your ship.”