Chapter Fourteen – The Cowboy In Me
Chapter Fourteen
Rafe
THE COWBOY IN ME
Performed by Tim McGraw
Sweat dripped from my brows and ran down my back as I headed toward Levi’s cabin. It had been a long time since I’d stood in the middle of the alfalfa fields, playing handmaiden to the tractor and baling equipment. Now, I had a sunburn from hours spent in the full July sun and blisters under the work gloves I’d borrowed, proving I’d done my part when Lauren could have handled the baling on her own and had done her best to remind me of that all day long. But Sadie’s look, full of judgment, had gotten to me, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it besides being irritated it had taken me away from the real business I’d needed to do today for my legitimate company.
To be fair, it hadn’t just been Sadie’s quiet condemnation that had landed me in the field. It had also been Adam’s absolute refusal to take on any of the workload. He’d used his allergies as an excuse growing up too, but then we would come in from the field to find him lazing in an inner tube at the lake with the bluebells and yarrow in full bloom all around him. Once, when I’d complained about it, my dad had cuffed me on the back of the head and reminded me the Hurlys didn’t own the land. If Adam’s dad didn’t want to make him work, that was on them. Dad was paying their father for his time as foreman, not the son.
More than once, I’d wanted to respond by telling my dad I didn’t own the land either. Instead, I’d bitten my tongue, knowing if it had ever slipped out, I would have spent days in the grueling heat, baling hay by hand the way he’d had to do growing up instead of using the equipment. So, I’d simply done whatever job he’d assigned me as quickly as possible so I could return to Levi and the horses, who never made me feel like I’d somehow disappointed them just by breathing.
In the cabin, I showered and pulled on clean clothes before heading back toward the main house. We’d stopped for lunch midday, but I was still starving, so I wolfed down a sandwich, standing up in the cool of the kitchen, and then made my way to the office. The door in the bookshelf that led to the walk-in vault was open, and Fallon’s story about Adam and the time he’d been spending there came slamming back into me.
Silently, I made my way over and looked inside. Adam was flipping through papers in an old file box, glasses slipping down his nose, brows drawn together in a frown. He was muttering to himself, but I couldn’t quite catch what he was saying. Something about knowing it was there somewhere.
“What are you looking for?” I asked.
He jumped, dropping the box on the floor, and the paperwork scattered.
“Jesus Christ!” He put a hand to his heart as the other pushed his square frames back up his nose. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
He squatted down and started tossing items back into the box. I joined him, the musty scent of old paper wafting up from the yellowing files as I collected them.
“What is all this?”
“Nothing that shouldn’t have been thrown out decades ago,” he said too quickly, raising my hackles.
My hands landed on a black-and-white photograph of Great-grandma Beatrice. She was wearing an evening gown that would have been popular in the late thirties, satiny and shimmering. It was the same dress she was wearing in the painting over the mantel, and like in the portrait, diamonds that had put the family and the ranch on the map glittered over her body. A heavy necklace draped over her collarbone and dipped into the V of the neckline while matching layers of bracelets and chandelier earrings completed the set. A stunning tiara I’d never seen before sparkled from the depths of her dark hair.
“I remember your dad mentioning some old movie company stocks the family had inherited. I’ve never seen anything about them in the asset sheets or online accounts, and I wondered what had happened to them,” Adam said in response to my question. “What do you got there?”
“Family picture.” For some reason I couldn’t explain, I didn’t want his hands on it, so I tucked it into my pocket.
Once all the paperwork was shoved back into the box, in no particular order, he slid the lid on and shelved it. I scanned the other boxes. Some were labeled, some not, and I was reminded of how little I knew about the actual business of the ranch, and when I’d had the chance after Dad died, I’d only cared about getting my share of my inheritance.
“I took the stocks,” I told him. “They were for a film studio called Ravaged Storm Productions. The family has owned them since the studio’s inception. Taking them was part of the deal Spencer and I made.”
Adam’s expression turned grim. “Damn. I was hoping they’d be worth something, and we’d be able to sell them to fund the renovations.” When I didn’t reply, he tucked his hands in his pockets and rocked. “How much did you get for them?”
“Don’t worry, Adam. I didn’t rip my brother off. What I ended up with was far less than my due.”
“And yet you’re the primary reason the ranch is failing.”
My gaze held his, and it was Adam who looked away. “Or maybe you and Spence have mismanaged it,” I said just to see his reaction.
His mouth drew tight, and his eyes were cold when he said, “Don’t lay your guilt at my feet. I’ve done my best with what we were left with.”
And somehow, I didn’t think he was just talking about the loan Spence had taken out. He brushed past me and stood at the door of the vault, waiting for me to leave. I walked out and straight to the desk where he had his laptop open with a stream of paperwork spread out next to it. Some were architectural designs, others were detailed spreadsheets, and one was on Hatley Ranch letterhead. When I read the initial paragraph, I realized it was the business plan the Hatleys had given the bank to obtain a loan for their renovation.
“How much do you think you’ll need?” I asked. “And how long before it turns a profit?”
“The Hatleys were profitable in the first four years. They would have been in the black sooner, but I gather someone ran off with a chunk of their money. They had to pay it back anyway.” I didn’t miss the tone that said he knew what that was like and ignored the irritation that flared.
“Again. How much do you need, Adam?”
“A minimum of seven hundred thousand. A million would be better,” he replied.
It wasn’t as much as I’d expected, seeing as I’d just spent nearly nine hundred million getting The Fortress launched, but then again, we weren’t talking about a five-star Vegas hotel and casino. Much to my annoyance, I found myself interested in the idea of what it would take to build an up-scale resort here in my hometown. My mind immediately went to work on upgrading the facilities, obtaining a liquor license, hiring a world-class chef, and assembling a team of outdoor guides.
I pushed a finger into my jaw, attempting to ease the tension that seemed to have taken permanent residence there this week.
I picked through the paperwork, landing on the architectural designs, noting the name on them was Ryder Hatley. He’d done the work himself. An all-around renaissance man. For some reason, it made me like him when I didn’t even know him. “They had cabins built?”
“A dozen or so, and they converted an apartment over the barn. We have the old homestead, the bunkhouse, and Levi’s cabin. Plus, there are a dozen rooms here in the main house we could use if we added bathrooms to them all. We’d actually have more space than they do even as it stands now.”
I’d started to flip through the business plan Hatley had outlined to the bank when Adam’s hand came down on top of it. “She won’t let you get involved.” His voice was dark. “We don’t want you here. Spencer leaving you in charge of the ranch’s trust on Fallon’s behalf was an oversight. He meant to change it to Lauren and me, but you know how he was with things like this. He put them off as long as he could.”
The irritation I’d felt since finding him in the vault grew. “You don’t have to tell me what my brother was like. He always put the ranch first. He knew what he was doing.”
“People change. You weren’t around to see it. The ranch was failing on his watch, and it was eating at him. He and Lauren were fighting daily. He was angry and cruel.”
Not Spencer. He never would have been cruel to Lauren.
Except, he had been once before. He’d broken her heart when he’d left her behind to go to college and told her they shouldn’t see each other for a while. But that was the one and only time I’d seen him hurt her. Even after he’d found out she was pregnant with my child, he’d only taken it out on me—a singular hit before he’d stormed away.
Adam reached across me to his laptop, closing the lid, but I caught a glimpse of an open email before he shut it, and my insides froze when I saw the Puzo name. The sinking feeling I’d had since arriving yesterday that Fallon was right about something being off with Adam morphed into real concern. Adam was somehow involved with Puzo. Did it have something to do with the ranch, or was he just the money man for the mob family? Would Adam have gone so far as to kill Spencer? I wasn’t convinced yet that he would have, but I intended to find out.
“We can easily fix Spencer’s oversight,” Adam said. “All you have to do is sign over the control of the trust to us, and then you can go on your merry way like you’ve always wanted.”
Before I’d shown up at the ranch, it would have been tempting, even if it would’ve given my daughter another reason to despise me. Now, she’d see it as another abandonment, especially with her concerns about Adam.
I wasn’t sure why Spencer had trusted him when we’d both been damn good at smelling liars and deceit growing up. It was how I’d ferreted out the money laundering at Puzo’s club when I’d been working there. Back then, I hadn’t understood the danger it put me in. Without thought, my hand went to my chest and the scar that remained. It ached, as if telling me something. As if telling me to watch my six all over again.
Instead of responding to Adam’s dig, I tossed back, “What the hell are you doing getting mixed up with someone like Puzo?”
His eyes darted to the closed laptop as he pushed his glasses up again. “He’s a smart businessman who’s taken an active interest in the area. He sees the potential in not only our town but the ranch. He knows if we had something drawing people to the area, even more than just the slopes in the winter and hiking in the summer, the entire community would prosper.”
“And he thinks the Harrington Ranch could be that draw?”
“Sure. Why not?”
Could it really be that simple? I’d told Sadie I didn’t believe in coincidences, and it was true. Puzo had come to Rivers because of me and my family. But had he stayed because he’d seen something I’d been too blinded by hurt to see? “Puzo hates me with a passion you probably wouldn’t understand, so I find it hard to believe his interest in the ranch is truly benevolent.”
Adam scoffed. “Of course, what would I know? I’m just some stupid, small-town businessman, and you’re some genius, world-savvy entrepreneur. You always did think your shit didn’t stink.”
I bit my cheek in an effort not to snap back. Instead, I sounded tired when I said, “You were never stupid.”
He looked surprised I’d even given him that much.
Fallon walked into the office with her friend, Maisey. While I’d never met any of my daughter’s friends in person until Spence’s funeral, I’d heard about them and seen pictures of them. I made it a point to touch base with Fallon almost every day in some form, whether it was by text or a video or voice call. But seeing the way she’d clung to Maisey at the reception had made me realize how much of my daughter’s life I’d missed experiencing because of my own damn stubbornness. Because of hurt I’d refused to let go of, and now it was too late. Too late for Spencer and me, at any rate.
The two girls were wearing yoga pants and tight tank tops that made me want to throw sweatshirts at them and tell them to cover up. The hair at their temples was sweaty and curling, and a sheen covered their faces from the workout with their trainer. I’d wanted to catch a part of it while I was here, and now I’d missed it because of the discussion with Adam.
Fallon’s glance darted between me and her uncle as if trying to determine what I’d found out, and I just shook my head. Disappointment drifted over her face.
“Mom told me to order pizza for dinner. She wants me to find out what you both want,” Fallon said. I grimaced. Knowing my dislike for pizza, ordering it was either Lauren’s or Fallon’s way of striking out at me.
“Meat lovers,” Adam said without even glancing up from the Hatley document he was scanning. No please. No thank you. A grunted out, high-handed demand. It pissed me off. He acted like everything here belonged to him and was his due when, in truth, he only owned a one-acre parcel down the road. In actuality, he was nothing more than an employee. Interesting that he was the only full-time employee left when they could have contracted out his work much easier than some of the hard labor.
“Thank your mom for me, but I’ll just find something here,” I said.
“After we eat, Maisey and I want to take the boat out on the lake, but Mom won’t let me without an adult. She says it’s my consequence for taking the plane. I have to earn my solo rights back,” Fallon said scathingly. While I knew for a fact Lauren wouldn’t have let Fallon pilot the Cessna all alone, she likely had let our daughter behind the wheel of almost every other vehicle on the ranch. When I was her age, I’d driven nearly everything with a motor, but I’d never learned to fly the plane. Dad had reserved that privilege for Spencer.
When I didn’t respond, Fallon rolled her eyes up to the ceiling and asked in a pained tone, “So, will you go with us?”
I hadn’t even touched the long list of things I needed to do for Marquess Enterprises today, let alone looked through the ranch’s accounts, but I’d also never spent time on the lake with my daughter. Never spent even one second playing with her here in the place she loved, and I suddenly wanted to give that moment to both of us.
“What’s your mother doing?” I asked.
“Ironing all the linens for the wedding,” Fallon said.
Lauren had spent hours in the seat of the tractor, baling alfalfa, gone straight out to check the cattle in the far field, and now, instead of showering and resting for the evening, she was starting an entirely different job. Sadie had been right. She was doing all of Spence’s jobs on top of her own. As if reading my mind, Fallon shifted uncomfortably. “I asked if she wanted me to do it, and she told me she had it covered.”
“Where’s Sadie?” I asked.
“Helping Mom.”
I didn’t know why that pissed me off. Because I didn’t want a woman I didn’t trust ingratiating herself into my family? Because it should be Lauren’s family helping? Or because I simply didn’t want Sadie working her fingers to the bone in a place that had easily tossed me away and never looked back?
“We’ll all go,” I said.
Fallon snorted. “You’ll never get Mom to come. She’s either working or sleeping.”
My chest burned because I heard in those words what she wasn’t saying—her mother didn’t make time for her. I hadn’t made time for her either. I couldn’t go back in time and change it, but I could at least give her something while I was here.
I left Adam and the desk and the questions behind, striding toward the door.
“We’ll see what I can do about that. Where are they?” I asked.
Fallon looked shocked by my acquiescence, but she threw a thumb toward the back of the house. “The old housekeeper’s quarters.”
“Order the pizza,” I said, heading toward the back and then stopping. “Are you getting it from Jack’s?” When she nodded, I said, “Get me a meatball sub, no cheese.”
“No cheese?” Maisey gasped as if it was a sin, and it made my lips quirk.
“Dad is such a weirdo. He’ll only eat cheese if it isn’t melted or mixed into other things. He says it’s too slimy otherwise.”
As I started toward the back hallway, memories of another girl gasping at my dislike of cheese, and both her and Spence trying to change my mind as we ordered food at Jack’s, flashed before my eyes. Suzanne Perk had been shoved in one side of a dingy booth with me while Spence and Lauren had been on the other. I’d been only a year older than Fallon at the time, maybe a year before Spence had graduated. A year before he’d broken up with Lauren. Even then, I’d envied them. The ease with which they touched each other, sat together, talked together.
Looking back, I realized I hadn’t wanted Lauren as much as I’d wanted what they had. And even when I’d been with her for a few short months, it hadn’t been the same as it had ever been with them. But I’d held on tight to her, thinking I’d finally gotten what I’d always wanted, when really, I’d simply been her stand-in for Spence. And like always, to the people here, I’d ended up being a disappointment.
Just like I’d always be a poor stand-in for Spence in my daughter’s eyes. But I was here now, and he wasn’t, so I’d do my damnedest to not disappoint her more than I had to. I’d figure out how to be someone she could count on, even if I’d never be what she really wanted. Even if being that person meant making the hard decision of selling the ranch. I wasn’t going to be sentimental about it. If it would never sustain itself, it had to go.
I stopped and looked back toward the entryway where Fallon and Maisey were still standing. “We’ll take the food with us to the lake, so pack a cooler with drinks.”
My daughter’s face lit up, and that right there was enough to know I’d made the right decision—at least for tonight.